Her heart thumped painfully as she realized what he was saying. She’d waited so long for this moment.
His voice was hoarse. “I know the things David said about you couldn’t have been...couldn’t have been true.” He dropped his hands and averted his eyes, but not before she saw the sheen of moisture in them. “This isn’t easy for me, dammit.”
She wanted to reach for him, but she stood frozen. He needed to say it. And she needed to hear it.
He faced her squarely. “I can’t let you walk into whatever’s waiting for you out there thinking that I have no faith in you. You have more integrity, more pure goodness, than anyone I know.” He took a deep breath. “As for David’s stories...well, I guess I’ll never know whether he was an out-and-out liar or just deluded. It hurts to admit how little I knew him. That’s not the kind of brother I wanted to be.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Caleb. You didn’t fail David. Whatever problems he had, they weren’t due to anything you did or didn’t do. The truth is, he was a stronger person than you’re giving him credit for. Do you remember when you told me about your last conversation with him? When he said there was something he had to do?”
Caleb nodded.
“You assumed he was referring to suicide. I never believed he killed himself, and neither do you anymore. So what was it he felt he had to do? After all he’d seen, all he’d learned. What would you have done in his place?”
His eyes widened in comprehension. “I would’ve done what we’re trying to do now. Find out what they’re up to. Gather evidence—something to take to the authorities. You think that’s what he...”
“David was no coward. He knew he was in danger—we both picked up on that. He could’ve fled the commune at any time. But he didn’t He stuck it out” She smiled. “David had more in common with his macho commando brother than either of us thought. He died a hero’s death, Caleb.”
“He did, didn’t he?” Caleb shook his head, with a little smile of awe. “My baby brother.” When he looked at her, she saw gratitude and wonder. “You amaze me, Elizabeth. How can you be so—so generous, so openhearted, after everything that’s happened, after everything I believed about you, everything I did to you?” He took a deep breath. “I don’t expect you to forgive me. Hell, I can’t forgive myself.”
“All that is in the past As for forgiving you...” She felt her throat constrict around the words she didn’t want to say, but had to. “I don’t know if I have it in me to forgive it all, Caleb. I—I do understand why you did the things you did. Maybe that will have to be enough.”
He took a step toward her, and she took one back, holding up a palm. Within three weeks this man had become her world. In his arms she’d known both profound terror and shattering intimacy. She needed time to sort out her conflicting emotions.
Swallowing back the tears that threatened, she continued, “Like I said, it’s in the past. It’s over.”
He stood staring at her, his eyes wide and incandescent in the murky room. She saw his chest rise and fall swiftly under his black turtleneck and open, black leather jacket. After an eternity he said quietly, “I’ll make it up to you.”
A sob broke from her. His arms crushed her to him and she melted into his hot chest as he pressed fast, hard kisses to her hair.
“Elizabeth, I’m so sorry, so sorry.” His long, powerful fingers tilted her head back and she felt his warm, satin lips on her closed eyelids, stealing her tears as they flowed, tugging at her eyelashes. He kissed her wet cheeks, hungry sucking kisses as if he couldn’t get enough of her sorrow, as if, by taking her tears into himself, he could undo the hurt he’d caused her.
He tipped her head further. His moist mouth closed on the base of her throat where her pulse danced. She opened her eyes with a deep shiver and now she wasn’t weeping but listening to her own panting breaths, unnaturally loud in the stillness of their hiding place. A sudden, squeezing pang of desire deep and low wrenched a moan from her. It was as if his ravenous mouth pulled at a taut string, commanding her passion like a master puppeteer.
He dragged his lips up to her ear. “I love you, Elizabeth,” he whispered, and she clutched him in pure blind reflex, her fingers biting into the supple leather of his jacket. She was keenly attuned to the solid pressure of his hand gliding over her flannel-clad ribs and closing on the swell of her breast.
His lips met hers in a deep, consuming kiss. He angled his head, opened her mouth with insistent pressure. His strong, lithe tongue dipped and retreated, touched and probed. She whimpered into his mouth and clung tighter, terrified of the gnawing hunger that seemed to sink its fangs in deeper and deeper. His hand molded her breast possessively, as if stamping her with his mark. He pressed the aching peak between his fingertips and she pulled her mouth from his with a harsh gasp.
He whispered raggedly, “You’ll always belong to me, Elizabeth.”
He pushed her backward two stumbling steps and she felt herself fall. The soft mound of volleyball nets struck her back as Caleb’s hot weight pressed her down into the nest
He said, “If you leave me, I’ll find you.” He spread open her jacket and flicked her shirt buttons out of their buttonholes with startling speed. “I’ll find you and I’ll make it up to you, and by God, I’ll make you need me as much as I need you.”
She couldn’t catch her breath, couldn’t form a coherent thought Automatically she pushed on his chest and started to utter some feeble protest He thwarted her by capturing her lips with his own as his hand slid under her back to unfasten her bra.
Her nipples puckered in the chilly air as he pushed the lacy fabric aside and set the Firefly on the floor. He gazed at her. The dim light threw his features into sharp relief, making him look harder, hungrier. But his touch was infinitely delicate, a feather stroke as he traced the shape of her breasts. Her back arched and she found herself reaching for him, needing him.
He said, “I’ve waited so long, Elizabeth, too long. I’m out of my mind with wanting you.”
“Caleb—” Her voice broke as his fingers plucked the tingling crests, a gentle rhythmic pinching that stole her breath. He held her gaze for a smoldering eternity, then lowered his mouth to her nipple. Elizabeth cried out at the sharp twinge of pleasure and threaded her fingers through his hair, whether to push him away or hold him closer, she couldn’t say.
Suckling her with a force and urgency that made her mind whirl, he laced his fingers between hers and pinned her hands near her shoulders. His teeth scraped her and she moaned at the raw eroticism of it, twisting under him in helpless longing. He shifted his hard body to press her deeper into their nest of white cord, his erection throbbing against her.
He raised his head. His voice was a near growl. “Stop me now, Elizabeth.”
She knew what he was saying. Or it’ll be too late. Her hands were still pinned, but she arched up to press her lips to his. Her unspoken invitation seemed to electrify him. He hauled her to him roughly, returning her kiss with savage intensity. His shoulder holster dug into her breast, but she barely felt it.
His hold eased and he pulled back to study her face. “Nervous?”
She swallowed. “No.”
He gave a soft smile. “Liar.”
“Okay, maybe a little.” Her voice was so faint and breathy, she barely heard it.
Grimly he perused their surroundings, their bizarre bedding. “It shouldn’t be like this. Not your first time.”
She clung to him. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except that...it’s you.”
Tenderly he kissed her forehead, her cheeks and finally her mouth. Rising to his knees, straddling her, he yanked off his jacket and flung it away in one movement. Next came the leather shoulder holster, which supported a big .45 semiautomatic on one side, with two spare magazines hanging under the other arm. He removed the rig and set it down within reach. He pulled off his sweater, then rose and shed the rest of his clothing, including a compact .32 semiautomatic in an ankle holster.
Naked, he knelt over her once more, the essence of masculine grace and virility. She stared in awe as soft light and shadow delineated the powerful contours of his body. His spectacularly aroused body. Seeing him like this, poised over her as if to devour her, drove home the enormity of what she was about to do. Holding her breath, she raised her eyes to his. There she read both raging need and patient tenderness as he lifted her hand and brought it to his penis.
Tentatively she touched him, this most mysterious part of him, which would soon become part of her. How different from what she’d imagined, exquisite, like marble encased in hot satin. And so alive under her hand. After a few moments his fingers abruptly clamped around her wrist as a guttural sound escaped his throat
“I like that too much,” he rasped, and pulled her to a sitting position. He made short work of her jacket, bandanna, shirt and bra. Still kneeling, he lifted her to her feet and finished undressing her till she stood naked before him. She shivered, though the fire in her veins had chased off the chill.
His hands trailed up the backs of her thighs and gripped her bottom. She felt his hot breath between her legs, followed by the scalding pressure of his mouth. Her hoarse cry bounced off the plank walls as her knees threatened to buckle. His fingers joined the assault, lazily stroking, exploring, teasing, until all she could do was clutch his hair and whimper his name.
She tensed when a finger began to slowly burrow inside. After a moment she felt her body begin to relax, and he must have felt it, too, because he pressed on then, probing gently, stretching her, a deep, relentless invasion. Vaguely, through the haze of pleasure, she realized he did this to prepare her, to make their first joining easier for her.
Her thigh muscles quivered, her breath came fast and shallow. His touch turned bolder, the rhythm faster, keeping time with her panting gasps. She was reduced to a knot of pure sensation, all slippery heat and wanting. His agile tongue found the tiny pulsing hub of that sensation, and it was too much. Reflexively she tried to twist away, but he held her tight.
Her gasps became sharp cries, matching the crescendo building in her body..“Caleb!”
Suddenly the room spun as he pulled her legs out from under her, catching her as she fell. Her senses reeled; she was poised on the fine edge of release, drunk with the scent of him, with the heat and weight of him crushing her down into the springy pile of nets. The steady pressure of his hard, hair-roughened thighs opened her wide.
“Elizabeth...I wanted to go slow for you. I’m trying,” he said, with a breathless chuckle. “I’m trying my damnedest.”
He kissed her hard, threatening her sanity with a renewed surge of pumping hunger. The restless movement of her hips was answered with a stabbing pressure as he began to flex into her. She bit back a groan. He held himself still, tight as a coiled spring, quivering with barely restrained need. “Trust me,” he whispered, staring into her eyes, stroking her face with trembling fingers.
She knew he was struggling to hold back, letting her set the pace. Trust him? She trusted him with her life. With a tremulous smile she willed the tension from her body, forcing herself to relax. She slid her hands around his waist and wordlessly urged him deeper. True to his word, he rocked into her slowly, stretching and filling her by degrees, never taking his eyes from hers.
It was too beautiful, too sweetly fulfilling; her body and soul ached for completion. With a sharp cry of pleasure and pain, she arched into him hard and they became one. Caleb groaned. His face twisted for a moment as he gathered his control, then those silver eyes seared her.
“You are so beautiful, Elizabeth. So beautiful.”
He slid his fingers down her belly and caressed her as their bodies retreated and came together, dissolving her discomfort under a deluge of pure, electrifying sensation. Gradually the tempo of their loving built until they were panting, sweat-slick, moving as one.
She gasped in astonishment as her body tightened and the pinnacle came within reach. He tilted her hips and plunged with ferocious intent as her climax swelled and crested and crashed over her in scorching waves. just when she feared she’d spiral into oblivion, she felt his strong arms wrap around her, grounding her.
Caleb’s peak came fast on the heels of hers. At the last moment he withdrew and crushed her to him with a savage cry. She felt the pulsing warmth against her belly and knew he’d done this to protect her, chagrined that until that moment, birth control hadn’t entered her mind.
They lay tangled, their stampeding heartbeats slowing in tandem. She stared into the rafters as he stroked her hair. She felt his eyes on her.
He whispered, “Elizabeth...?” Finally she turned to meet his warm gaze. “You okay, sweetheart?”
She smiled and nodded, and shivered as the chill of the garage cooled her damp body. He gently cleaned her with the bandanna, then rose and gathered her clothing. Lovingly he dressed her, carefully replacing the infrared beacon, then reached for his own clothes.
She said, “Thanks for...you know...protecting me.”
He grimaced. “Not the most reliable method, but better than nothing. Next time I’ll be prepared.”
Next time. She tried not to let her uncertainty show, but he stared at her and said, “There will be a next time, Elizabeth. A lot of next times.”
“I’m...confused.”
“I know that, and I have no one to blame but myself.” Half-dressed, he cradled her face in his palms. “You know, if I were the ruthless son of a bitch you think I am, I might’ve tried to get you pregnant. To make it harder for you to walk away from what we have.”
“What do we have, Caleb?”
He started to say something and stopped. His thumb traced the line of her cheekbone and he dropped a featherlight kiss on her forehead. “Let me show you what we can have. Give me the chance to do that.”
The temptation to fall into his arms, into his life, was nearly irresistible. She needed Caleb with a bone-deep intensity that frightened her.
But how could she know her heart at this point? Three weeks ago, with no warning, he’d brutally forced his presence on her. Since then he’d controlled every aspect of her life. She’d had contact with no one else and had been totally dependent on Caleb for all her needs.
Was her love for him genuine and freely given, or the warped attachment of a hostage to her captor? Only when she was free would she begin to sort out her mixed emotions. But the thought of getting away from Caleb left her feeling cold and hollow inside. Her acting career, her little apartment in Brooklyn—it all seemed like a previous incarnation.
She said, “Yesterday you asked me for time to figure things out.”
“I figured them out. It didn’t take that long.” He smiled sadly.
“I know. And I’m glad. You don’t know how much it means to me, to have your respect. And your faith. Now I’m asking you for the same thing, Caleb. Time. Time alone to sort things out.”
He started to reach for her, then clenched his hand and dropped it. His eyes glowed with unswerving conviction. “All right, Elizabeth. Time. Alone. But I meant what I said. You belong to me now. You always will.”
9
“DID HE HURT YOU, love?” Lugh slid his hand over the back of Elizabeth’s neck. She fought down the urge to shake off the smooth, manicured fingers, so unlike Caleb’s rough, callused ones.
“No. Not really. Just scared me is all.”
He gently squeezed her neck, his green eyes glowing with warm concern, his British-accented voice silky. “Naturally, I reported your abduction, but the local constabulary leaves much to be desired, I’m sad to say.”
Why do you look more smug than sad about that?
He continued, “We were frightfully worried about you, Beth. Some of the methods these deprogrammers use...well, I know of cases where young women have been...molested. And worse.” He dipped his head and leveled an inquisitive stare from under thick, tawny eyebrows.
“No, um...” She swallowed hard. “Nothing like that happened.”
&n
bsp; He studied her expression for long, tense moments and finally said, “Good. I’m relieved to hear it.”
The huge man standing behind Lugh stared fixedly at her. His dark, close-set eyes flicked down her body in insolent appraisal. Lugh noticed the direction of her gaze and turned briefly to glance behind him.
“Oh yes, there have been a few changes in your absence, love. After you were kidnapped, my closest advisers persuaded me to hire a bodyguard. Wayne here never leaves my side.”
Wayne was tall and brawny. His dark hair was buzzed close to his craggy head, in sharp contrast to Lugh’s thick blond braid. Wayne’s smarmy stare made Elizabeth want to slink away and run straight back to Caleb.
She’d located Lugh in Avalon’s ramshackle community room, originally the clubhouse of the summer camp that once occupied the property. Some sort of Halloween pep rally had just ended, and the members had filed out to scour the woods for branches to feed the bonfire to be lit that night. Enormous papier-mâché animal-head masks were arranged around the perimeter of the room, along with carved pumpkins that would later house lit candles.
Elizabeth said, “Do I still have my old room?”
“Absolutely. I knew you’d return to us, Beth. I felt it in the very fiber of my being. We’re connected, you and I, in a very special way. There’s a force drawing us together, a cosmic force. Do you feel it, too?”
“Uh, sure.”
He placed his hands on her shoulders. His voice dropped suggestively. “I thought of you during the full moon.”
When he remained silent, staring at her from under those heavy eyebrows, she realized he was awaiting her response. She cleared her throat. “Yeah. Me, too.”
He stroked her cheek. “Come to me tonight”
Her heart stopped. “Tonight? But—but there’s no full moon tonight!”
His jaw flexed. “The bloody crescent moon will have to do. I’ve waited long enough. Come to me at midnight.”
A Hard-Hearted Hero (Harlequin Temptation) Page 12
