“Yes,” Sesay’s voice grew softer. “I thought...I thought you’d figure out sooner that she only is after you because of your royal status.”
“She doesn’t like me just because I’m a Prince,” Sels stated, although he couldn’t put any conviction behind his words.
“I found your naiveté cute at first, Sels,” Sesay sighed. “Until the ball. That’s when I looked into it further and found out about your little Yaka.”
“Arara?” Sels said, confused.
“No, the one you broke out of the dungeon.”
“Oh, no,” Sels squeaked, his mind racing.
“Honestly, I’d be surprised if the Queen doesn’t already know. But if so, she hasn’t said anything to me. Nor I to her.”
His stomach sank, but he tried to focus on the good news. Sesay hadn’t turned him in for his hand in all of it. “Why haven’t you?”
Sesay’s eyes bored into his. “I was still deciding what to do about all of it. The invitation to the ball, that was what Roel requested from you in order to secure her help?”
Sels nodded and looked out the window to keep from having to look into Sesay’s accusing stare. “Yes, otherwise I wouldn’t have invited her, I swear.”
“What did Yegra get for helping you?” Sesay smiled wickedly and settled back.
“Nothing,” Sels shrugged. “Or Arara’s gratitude, I suppose.”
“I have to admit, it was a good plan.” Sesay almost sounded a little impressed, but he must have been imagining it. “I still actually hadn’t been one hundred percent certain you were involved until you confirmed it to me just now.”
Sels mentally smacked himself. “So what do you want from me to not take what I just told you to Mother?”
“Why Sels,” Sesay smiled languidly at him. “Thank you for asking. I don’t particularly care about one escaped Yaka, but I do care about my upcoming wedding. I want my wedding day to be perfect. No fires. No uninvited guests. No missing grooms,” her eyes flashed and she leaned forward. “No surprises.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
BONDED TROUBLE
Arara followed a page into the sitting room. Sels and Sesay sat in chairs by the balcony chatting together comfortably. Arara wasn’t sure what they’d been discussing; wasn’t sure she wanted to know by the amount of discomfort she’d been feeling through the bond from Sels while they talked. She was just glad they’d made up.
The page placed a pitcher of iced tea on the table between the two Kin, poured two glasses, and left, as quiet as he’d come.
“Sels, I’m glad to see you two worked out whatever it was,” Arara sat down in front of the open balcony doors to take advantage of the breeze.
Sesay quirked up one side of her mouth as she picked up her drink. “As if you don’t know.”
“I tried to block the bond while we were talking,” Sels admitted.
“What do you not understand about having no secrets from each other?” Sesay lamented, taking a sip of her tea.
“You said you wanted to talk, just the two of us.”
“Yes, I did. It’s still polite to give the illusion of privacy. I’m warning you again that your bond is not going to last if you keep this up.”
Arara perked her ears up. “You mean Recka heard every bit of it?”
“We are bonded, so of course he did.”
Arara turned to Sels and cocked her head. “The last time we did that it was like having one mind with two bodies. That sensation was odd.”
“Yes. It takes some getting used to.” Sesay smiled for a moment before it faded. “But, if you were that close before what happened?”
“I’m not sure.” Arara answered. “It just went away.”
“It should be like that all the time.”
“But, Sels and you are getting married.” Arara furrowed her brow. “And, I’d like to bond with a mate someday too. How do you and Recka handle it?”
Sesay stared at her without answering and Arara squirmed. From Sels she felt surprise and sympathy.
“I thought you knew.” Sels mumbled.
“Knew what?” Arara scanned the faces around her. Finally she narrowed her eyes and opened her mind to Sels.
Sels was remembering the lessons he had learned as a child growing up in the palace. The Queen was explaining how the magic of the sedyu-bond worked. It was a variation on the Royal Magic. The tokens were enchanted with a special spell that, if activated, would react with the Kin the enchantment was keyed to. The crux of the spell was the Jegera’s mate-bond, and the magic merely redirected the target of the bond to a Kin.
The sedyu-bond took over a Jegera’s mate-bond in order to work. The memory passed in a flash and Arara staggered back. All she could think about were her parents, holding each other, love for each other etched in their faces and shining out through their eyes whenever they looked at each other. Jegera mated for life, the mate-bond tying a couple inextricably together. It wasn’t uncommon, if one half of a mated pair died, for the surviving spouse to wither away and die of grief.
Arara had longed for such a relationship her entire life, but believed that her small size and other oddities meant that she would never find such a partner. However, she’d begun to hope again ever since she and Yegra had gotten closer. Now that would never be.
Her butt hit the floor before she realized she had even fallen. She sat there in a daze until Sels gathered her up in his arms. His face was a mask of grief that Arara knew mirrored her own expression.
“I thought you knew. Your teachers should have taught you about the bond before you participated in the Hunt.” Sels pulled her into a tight hug.
Arara hugged him back. “I skipped class most of the time. I only went when I got caught by an adult.”
“Because of Kerka.” Sels sighed. She could feel her sorrow lessening, as if it were flowing out of her. Was Sels sharing her grief, like they’d shared each other’s pain, lessoning it?
Arara struggled to block the bond, but unlike her mental shields, nothing she did seemed to be able to stop it entirely.
The force of all her emotions hit Sels and she registered his shock as it hit his mind. His grip around her loosened and Arara used the opportunity to wiggle free. In the back of her mind she could feel Sels struggling to deal with everything Arara had thrown at him.
She pushed him away. Sels fell back and only the smooth curve of the wall of the sitting room kept him upright. But even that wasn’t enough as his eyes took on a far-away look. His legs gave out and he slid slowly down the wall.
“Sels!” Sesay shrieked. She wrapped one arm around his shoulder struggling to keep Sels from falling over entirely. Recka rushed into the room from the hallway, taking Sels’s other arm and easily pulling both of them upright with one paw.
Sels gasped, then, choked out a sob. Sap ran down both cheeks as he cried, overcome by Arara’s emotions. Sesay and Recka whispered to him, trying to comfort him, but to no avail.
Arara stood still, staring at Sels. She could feel him reaching out to her through the bond, crying for help, but she hesitated, scared by what she had done.
“Please,” he managed to get out between sobs. “Arara stop it, please!”
Arara backed up, clasping her paws over her muzzle. Sesay looked up, eyes wide and frightened. Arara took another small step back, eyes wide. Panic began to creep in, swirling in her head along with Sels shock as he dealt with the tidal wave of emotions and memories Arara had thrown at him. It was too mu
ch, and she bent over, spewing her breakfast back up all over the carpet grass.
She finished, lifting her head, just as Recka’s fist wrapped around her neck. He lifted her up at arm’s length so her feet dangled several tail lengths from the floor.
“He is your sedyu-bonded!” Recka roared, shaking her like a rag-doll. She clawed at her neck and kicked, fighting to breathe.
“Enough Recka!” Sesay yelled. Their gefir tickled her senses, and she knew without hearing it that they argued over her life. Apparently Sesay won, because a moment later Recka tossed her away with a flick of his wrist.
The carpet grass softened her fall. Arara lay still, gasping for breath, before she felt recovered enough to sit up, massaging her neck with one paw. The lack of air had left her dizzy and disoriented, so it took her a moment to realize Recka, Sesay, and Sels were gone.
SELS CURLED UP IN FETAL position, hands and arms wrapped around his head, on a couch in Sesay’s room. He couldn’t say how he had gotten here, but at the moment he didn’t really care. Memories bounced around his head like air bubbles in a shaken bottle of water. A bubble immersed him, dumping Sels into another of Arara’s memories.
Sights and smells crowded together overwhelming his senses. He stood as a younger Arara in an open field, together with a group of young Jerlings. Arara was by far the smallest there. Arara’s emotions flooded through him. Humiliation, fear, and shame.
Young Arara cradled her arm to her chest, whimpering. Pain radiated out from his, or rather her, arm. It was definitely broken. The Jerlings from her village, Sels recognized a much younger Kerka among them, pointed and laughed at her. A few adults, the teachers, watched from the edges of the group, but none moved to help.
Trapped in the memory, Sels had no control. The sights, smells, pain, and emotion blended together, leaving his mind reeling. Just as he began to find his bearings, the bubble burst and Sels was back on Sesay’s couch. But the emotions and an echo of the pain stayed with Sels. He cried out and sat up, pulling his arm to his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut and rocked back and forth.
A soft voice said something to him and a cool hand touched his face. But the words were drowned out by the pounding in his head. Another bubble; and he tumbled away from the present.
Arara writhed on the ground with Yegra, and pleasure coursed through Sels. The ground was damp beneath her back, and the moon barely peeked out from behind thick storm clouds. Then he was gone again.
Sels didn’t have any sense of how long he struggled with Arara’s memory dump. His consciousness jumped from one memory to the next seemingly at random. But he kept fighting even as he felt himself slipping away, drowning in Arara’s self. At times he thought he was Arara. But someone beloved, someone important to him, whispered to him, and kept guiding him back to himself.
The real world came back in snatches. He lay on Sesay’s couch while Sesay held his hands. He was curled on his side, his head in Sesay's lap as he wept.
Eventually he got control, wresting control from the memories and they faded to the back of his mind with the rest of his own life.
Morning sun caressed his face, warm and inviting, tasting of a new day and fresh buds. Soft soil packed around his feet and legs. Sels blinked his eyes open and rubbed at them. He was back in his own room, surrounded by the familiar sights he woke up to each morning. Someone had changed his clothing, and he now wore a pair of silk pajamas.
With a yawn he pulled himself out of the soil and stretched. The curtains rustled as they were pulled back. Arara peeked around at him. Her paws gripped the fabric and her ears were pulled down. Her sorrow and contrition pulsed through their bond and making Sels’s heart ache.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, wringing the edge of the curtains with her paws. Her claws were cutting it to ribbons, but she didn’t seem to notice. “Finding out that the sedyu-bond means I will never have a mate-bond...it was just too much.”
Sels stared at her, then edged between Arara and the curve of the wall into his bedroom. He turned his back on her and sorted through his robes. But his eyes couldn’t seem to focus on them. He kept thinking of the agony he’d been in, because of her actions. However when he tried to muster up anger, but every time he did he felt Arara’s grief increase, which washed away his mounting fury. He found he knew what she was thinking without even trying.
His hands stilled in the action of pushing his robes around and he turned. Arara sat on the floor behind him, her head bowed and ears drooping. Even her tail, curling around her on the polished wood, lay still. All he could find was pity. He understood completely what she’d been through and he couldn’t even slight her for what she’d done. It was what Sesay had said to do, but Sels just hadn’t been prepared for it.
He knelt down in front of her and lifted her head with one hand.
“It’s alright.” Even as he said them, he realized the words were not enough. The bond pulsed in the back of his head. He’d been pushing it away, trying to continue on as if it weren’t there. Sels closed his eyes and pulled the bond around his mind, embracing it.
Arara gasped as Sels memories flooded into her. But rather than letting her get sucked into the chaos, he guided her through them one at a time.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
BITTER HATE
The setting sun woke Arara, its orange and pinks coming in through the open door to the balcony. She was curled up in the sleeping soil around Sels’s legs. Sesay sat nearby in a plush chair reading a book and looked up as Arara got up and stretched.
“We’re done,” Arara told her. Sels had been showing her through his memories for the better part of the day, and now he slept. Arara could feel his dreams tickling her mind, but now she knew better than to try to push them back, instead she embraced them. They overlay her own perceptions to the point of distraction, but she supposed it was something she’d get used to over time.
“There’s some food laid out for you in the receiving room,” Sesay pointed.
Arara took a few steps towards the door when Sesay held up a hand and beckoned her over.
“Before you go, how is he?” She looked so worried that Arara couldn’t help but go over, despite the dire rumbling from her tummy.
“He’s fine, Sesay,” Arara went to lay a paw on Sesay’s hand, but then thought better of it and pulled back. “Just tired.”
“But, you’re up and about, why not him?” Sesay bit her lower lip and looked towards Sels.
“My...tirade hit him hard, that’s all. I dumped everything on him at once, while he took the time to mentally hold my hand and guide me through his memores. He just needs time to rest and process.”
Sesay nodded, and turned her attention back to Sels. Arara considered herself dismissed.
As she wolfed down a plate of smoked meats and cheeses she wandered to the wrap-around balcony and looked down. The sun had set fully now, and the garden below them was dark except for a small circle of lit torches. The night’s lessons with Elric. He needed to be informed that Sels wouldn’t be attending tonight.
Arara considered sending one of the guards with a note to Elric until Sels’s memories told her that would be rude and that it had to be her or one of the other royals. Her legs were shaky, and even after devouring three helpings she still felt a bit light headed, but all she would have to do was make her way to the garden and back.
She went back to the sleeping room, only to find Sesay fast asleep next to Sels in the soil. Sesay stood about an arm’s length away from Sels, far enough to be proper, but she held his hand in hers as they swayed, dreaming. Arara backed away. Gold eyes flashed in the dark as Recka trotted up.
“I’m going to go tell Elric that Sels is indisposed tonight,” Arara told Recka as she passed him in the hall.
Recka fell in beside her. All she could see of him in the dark was his eyes flashing occasionally as they walked.
“You can barely walk straight,” Recka noted after the second time Arara stumbled into him. “I’ll go for you.”
<
br /> “No,” Arara couldn’t help but growl a little as she bit off the word. “I may not have been a great sedyu so far, but I’m determined to make up for it. This is my duty and I will carry it out.”
His teeth flashed in the dark as he grinned. “Honorable. I will accompany you, then.”
It took Arara longer than she would have liked to get all the way downstairs. Her legs trembled at each step and she couldn’t manage even a slow trot. When they emerged into the ruined part of the garden Elric stamped his cane impatiently.
“Where is the Prince?” he demanded, hobbling towards them, leaning heavily on his cane. “He is very late.”
“I’m sorry, Sir Speaker.” Arara didn’t trust her back legs to hold her if she tried to stand upright in order to give him the required spreading of the arms, but she did twist her head to give him her throat. She paused, not sure what to say that the crotchety elder might consider a valid excuse.
“He is...weak, and too sick for any strenuous exercises. A Healer has confined him to the sleeping soil for tonight.” There. Sesay was a healer and would back up Arara’s assertions.
Elric harrumphed. “He was fine when I saw him yesterday morning. He missed last night’s lesson as well. What happened?”
“The riot,” Recka rumbled from behind Arara. “The garden party that he and Sesay attended yesterday was hit by a group of the rioters. Their carriage barely made it back to the palace.”
Nice one. Arara would have to remember that. Recka told nothing but the truth, implying that the brush with the rioters caused Sels’s illness merely by mentioning it when he did.
“Bah. The Prince and Princess left before the rioters reached the party and returned to the palace unscathed,” Elric spat. “Not only is he lying to get out of tonight’s lessons, he sends his pets to do his dirty work. If he is going to pander to me he shouldn’t send a Jegera to do the work of a Kin.”
Arara’s hackles rose. “We aren’t his pets and we aren’t lying. Sels is too exhausted to be able to come tonight.” Besides, how did Elric know that they’d come back unharmed? A memory of Sels’s hit her, the Queen admonishing Sels about something unkind he’d said within earshot of a servant; saying that servants gossip, and one should not give them things to gossip about. He’d probably gotten it from the palace grapevine, but just to be sure she cracked her shields and focused on Elric.
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