by Jo Ramsey
No one had taken her to do that for a long time. Mom hadn’t wanted to go outside much during the winter, and I doubted Dad even knew how much Cece enjoyed walking along the edge of the cove.
Maybe I would take her for a walk that afternoon, if I bothered going home.
“Speaking of going to public school, isn’t that what you’re supposed to be doing this morning?” Noah asked.
“I’m staying home sick.”
He tilted his head. “You don’t look sick.”
“Yeah, well, looks can be deceiving.” I slipped the shell into my jacket pocket. “I just got into a hell of a fight with my dad. I’m sick of him, and I’m sick of my mom who apparently was screwing around and has now decided to go live with her frigging lover.”
Noah didn’t say anything. I hadn’t meant to dump all that on him. Not having anyone else to talk to wasn’t an excuse. I’d said too much, and now he would probably bail on me.
“I’m sorry,” he said finally. “I didn’t know things were that bad for you.”
“They aren’t bad.” I paused. “Yeah, okay, they are. They suck, and I don’t know what to do. I can’t do anything, I guess.”
“Does your dad know where you are?”
Now I turned to him. He took a step backward, so I figured something in my expression must have worried him. I took a couple of breaths and tried to make myself look less evil. “No, and I don’t care. I don’t have anything more to say to him.”
“What did you fight about?”
“Let’s walk, okay?” I didn’t plan on telling him what Dad had said. I just wanted to be on the move.
“Sure.”
We started toward the point. I kept my eyes on the ground, watching out for anything I might trip over and for anything Cece might like. Even if taking her on walks and stuff wasn’t my job, I decided I should do it once in a while anyway. She loved going outside, and it would give both of us a break from the routine.
Except that she needed the routine so she didn’t flip out, so maybe that wasn’t such a great idea.
“What did you fight about?” Noah asked again.
“You don’t give up, do you?” I snapped. “It was about my sister, if you must know.”
“You’re good with her.” He didn’t seem to mind my being angry, if he’d even noticed.
“Yeah, well, my dad doesn’t seem to think so.” I shut up. Noah didn’t need to hear the whole story, and I didn’t want to tell him anyway.
“Did he say that?”
“Get a clue, would you?” I said. “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk about anything to do with my family. I came out here to get away from my dad and Cece, and now you’re walking with me asking all these stupid questions. Why can’t you just stop talking for a while?”
“Sorry,” he said quietly. “Sometimes talking helps, that’s all. I’ll leave you alone.”
I didn’t know whether he meant he’d drop the subject or whether he intended to leave me alone. Even though he’d gotten on my nerves, I didn’t want him to go away. Having someone with me, someone I liked, calmed me down a little.
“Stick around,” I said. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. It’s just been a crappy morning.”
“I understand.”
We kept walking, and neither of us said anything. His hand brushed against mine. It happened a couple more times before I realized he was trying to hold hands. I’d never held hands with the guys I’d gone out with, because we were always worried about someone else seeing us. Here, on a beach near a point where half the homes were seasonal and the people who lived there year-round were probably getting ready for work or school, it didn’t seem likely that anyone would notice Noah and me.
I took his hand.
He grinned. “I like this. It’s nice being with you.”
“Yeah, same here.” I just hoped he wouldn’t get all sappy about it.
“How many boyfriends have you had before?”
Just when I thought the guy was going to act normal, he had to start a new line of interrogation. It made me not want to talk to him at all. “Don’t ask me things like that,” I said. “Does it matter?”
“I guess not. I was just curious.” He paused. “You get ticked when I ask you things.”
“Yeah, and when I ask you things, half the time you don’t answer,” I countered. “If you want to find out more about me, you should try talking more about yourself. I know we only met a week ago, but by now I should know more about you than I do.”
“What do you want to know? Ask anything.”
Of course, as soon as he said that I couldn’t think of a single question. We walked for a few more minutes before I came up with something. “Why do you and your parents move around so much?”
“I told you, it’s for my dad’s work. He has meetings and stuff in all these places.” It sounded like an answer he’d rehearsed, and it wasn’t what he’d told me before. At least, I didn’t remember that explanation. He’d just told me that they owned a lot of houses.
“What does he do for work?”
“Computers. I told you that too.” He stopped and let go of my hand. “Did you think I’d lied to you or something?”
“No, I just didn’t remember that you’d told me those things,” I replied. I still didn’t remember him telling me.
“Why should I tell you anything now if you’re going to forget?” He grinned. “Yeah, I know, my life isn’t interesting enough to remember. Ask me something else if you want to.”
This time, I decided to go with a question he probably wouldn’t answer. I wanted to see if he’d say anything at all or just brush me off. “Why does your dad seem so against the idea of you having a friend here?”
He sat down on the sand. “That’s going to take a while to answer. Have a seat.”
If the sand was anywhere near as cold as it had felt through my socks, I didn’t want to sit on it. But the possibility of getting some actual information out of Noah motivated me to plop down beside him. The sand was just as cold as I’d figured it would be.
“Thanks,” he said. “I was kind of tired of walking anyway.”
“So tell me what your dad’s problem is,” I said. “Is it just me, or does he act this way any time you have a friend?”
“I haven’t ever had friends,” he replied. “Not because of Dad. Mostly just because of the moving. I mean, we’re going to the same places every time; we’re just not usually there long enough to meet people. Mom and Dad have some friends, but they don’t have kids my age.”
That didn’t really answer my question, which didn’t surprise me. Noah had avoided my other questions about his father too. Which made me wonder even more what was going on there.
“In other words, you don’t know if your dad would act like this with someone else or if it’s just me,” I said.
“He doesn’t like me socializing too much. He thinks it takes time away from my schoolwork.” Another answer that sounded rehearsed. “It isn’t anything against you. He just has plans for my future, and they don’t involve friends. Or boyfriends or anything else like that.”
“What are the plans?”
He stood up. “I have to go back to the house, or he’s going to wonder what’s taking me so long. Probably he’ll come after me. I’m supposed to keep a schedule. I have to be on the computer doing my online class stuff by eight, and it’s close to that now, I think.”
It figured. He’d completely avoided my question, and I had a feeling if I called him on it, he would just walk away.
I stood up too. “Sorry if you end up in trouble for talking to me.”
“I won’t be in trouble as long as I get back there.” He hesitated. “I want to invite you over, except Dad and Mom are both there. They didn’t mind you visiting yesterday, but right now I’m supposed to be doing school stuff.”
“And I’m supposed to be in school, so your parents would probably call my dad if I showed up at your place.” I didn’t know wher
e to go if I didn’t go to Noah’s. I definitely wasn’t going home yet. If Dad didn’t have to be to work until eleven, he wouldn’t have even left the house yet, except to take Cece to her van. Until I was sure he’d left for work, I planned on staying away from home. I wouldn’t be able to avoid him forever. I just hoped that by the time he came home from work, maybe I’d be able to look at him without wanting to beat the crap out of him.
I’d never been a violent guy. The fact that I wanted to knock out both my parents was kind of disturbing. On the other hand, I’d never had to deal with everything that had happened in the past few days before.
“Yeah, they probably would,” Noah said. “Are you okay?”
I shrugged. “I’m not about to smash anything like I wanted to when I came out here. So yeah, I guess I’m okay.”
“Are you going home?”
“Nope. I’m going to keep walking for a while.”
“Oh.” He hesitated again. “Why don’t you come over, then? It’s too cold to be out here, and we can probably go in the back door or something, so my parents won’t know you’re there.”
Even in the mood I was in, I didn’t want to break his parents’ rules. That would get him in trouble, and then I wouldn’t be able to see him at all. But he was right about the cold, and my feet had started to hurt. “Yeah. Okay.”
We headed to his house. The same car I’d seen the day before was there, along with a black sedan. Noah swore. “I forgot he was coming over today.”
“Who is it?” I asked.
“Someone my dad works with.” He groaned. “Which means I’m going to be trotted out to show off how smart I am. Dad just loves showing me off to people. He wants me to be some kind of super genius or something.”
“Which means I can’t come over after all.” The day just kept getting worse. I could have gone back to the beach and kept walking around the point, except eventually I would have gotten too tired and cold. The adrenaline from my fight with Dad had worn off, and now I just wanted to sit down somewhere warm. Since my house was out of the question until Dad left for work, Noah’s house was the only warm place I’d be able to hang out, and now I couldn’t go there.
“No, you still can,” he said. “I’ll take you in the back door, and you can go up to my room. They won’t see us. The back door opens into the pantry, and I doubt they’d be in there. Mom might to get food or drinks for them, but she’s oblivious most of the time.”
“Yesterday you said she hovers over you and your dad.”
“Um, yeah. She hovers sometimes. If she isn’t hovering, she doesn’t notice what’s going on.”
That didn’t make any sense at all, but I gave up on trying to get straight answers out of him. Whatever he wanted to tell me, he would tell me. Otherwise, I was out of luck.
“Anyway, you can probably stay in the pantry or kitchen for a while,” he went on. “I’d say you should wait in my room if I could figure out how to bring you upstairs without anyone seeing us. Dad talked about having a back set of stairs put in once, until the contractor said they couldn’t do it.”
“Great. So I’ll have to just hide until I can leave without my dad seeing me or until your parents’ guest leaves?” I shook my head. “I appreciate the idea, but that doesn’t sound like much fun.”
“I know. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I don’t want to spend all day talking to them anyway. I’d rather spend it with you, and if you’re already in the house, I can probably figure out some way to sneak you upstairs at some point.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. Sneaking wasn’t something I did as a general rule. This time, it didn’t seem like I had much choice. Either I hid, or I tried to find somewhere else to be until I was sure I wouldn’t run into Dad at home.
“Fine,” I muttered. “Show me where to go.”
We went in through a back door I hadn’t realized existed. It led into a small room about the size of my parents’ walk-in closet and was lined with shelves on three sides and a window beside the door. The shelves held numerous boxes and cans. I didn’t bother trying to figure out what they all were.
“Just stay here,” Noah whispered. “I’ll go in and do my little trained-monkey act for the company, and then I’ll figure out some way to bring you upstairs.”
“Sure.” I doubted he’d be able to take me past his parents without them noticing. The only chance would be if they left. Otherwise, I’d be stuck in Noah’s pantry for the rest of the morning.
He kissed my cheek. “I’ll be back soon.”
He walked away, and I sat down on the floor and leaned against the shelves. After a couple seconds, I heard him announce, “I’m here.”
“It’s about time!” I was pretty sure that was Mr. Silver. “Where have you been?”
Noah said something I couldn’t quite hear. I decided if I had to hide out, I at least wanted to be able to hear what was going on in the other room. Sitting there just hearing the hum of their voices would drive me nuts, not to mention boring me stupid. I crept out of the pantry and into the kitchen, stopping by the island so I’d be able to duck out of sight if I had to.
“We expected you sooner,” someone else in the other room said. I didn’t recognize the male voice. “I’m glad you made it back before I had to leave.”
It sounded like he planned to leave soon. I hoped that would turn out to be the case, because the sooner he left, the sooner I wouldn’t have to hide in the kitchen anymore, and the sooner Noah and I could have some time together.
“Where’s Mom?” Noah asked.
“She’s gone out,” his father replied. “Why would she stay while Wayne’s here?”
“Yeah, why,” Noah muttered.
“Come sit with me, Noah,” the other man said. “I haven’t seen you in quite a while.”
“I have to go start my schoolwork,” Noah replied. It might have been my imagination, but he sounded kind of desperate. I wondered what bothered him so much about the guy.
“Your work can wait,” Mr. Silver said. “Wayne came all this way to see you, and it would be rude if you didn’t talk with him for a little while.”
Wayne had come to visit Noah? That didn’t make sense to me, especially if he worked with Noah’s father.
“He didn’t come to see me,” Noah said bitterly. “He came to shrink me like he always does. Why can’t you guys just leave me alone? I’m happy. Why don’t you want me to be happy?”
“We do want you to be happy,” Wayne said. “That’s why I’m here. Come tell me how things are going with school and everything.”
“Everything’s fine. Just leave me alone!”
Footsteps thudded toward the kitchen. I ducked behind the island. Shrink, Noah had said. Wayne was there to shrink him. Which meant Wayne was a psychiatrist or psychologist, which meant Noah needed help.
There wasn’t anything wrong with needing help. My whole family had been in counseling for a while after Cece’s diagnosis. But all the weirdness in Noah’s house and the way he’d acted when I’d tried to go home that one time made me a little worried about just how much help he needed and with what.
“I’m leaving.” Noah’s voice came from closer than before. “I don’t want to deal with this.”
“Noah, you don’t have that option,” his father said. “You need to sit down. I’ll leave you and Wayne alone, so you won’t have to worry about talking in front of me.” His voice hardened. “I don’t see what you’d have to hide from me. If you can’t talk to me about it, you shouldn’t be doing it.”
“Jacob, that isn’t very fair,” Wayne said. “There’s a reason sessions are confidential. Everyone has something they’d prefer to keep from others.”
“That’s a whole lot of double-talk,” Noah muttered. “I’m out of here. I can take care of myself. I don’t need Wayne anymore. Everything’s good.”
He stomped past me. I peeked around the island to make sure neither of the men had entered the kitchen, then followed.
At the doorw
ay to the pantry, Noah stopped. “Chris?”
“Behind you,” I said softly.
He whirled around, face twisted. “What the hell were you doing out there? I told you to stay here! I was afraid you’d left!”
He started to cry, and I just stood there and stared at him. I didn’t know what else to do.
“Noah,” Mr. Silver said. I turned to see him entering the kitchen. He frowned. “I didn’t know you had company.”
“Chris’s father is being an ass,” Noah said. “Just like you.”
“Noah, your dad isn’t an ass,” I said. I didn’t know whether I was trying to calm Noah down or trying to get myself out of major trouble with his father.
“He brought a frigging shrink here!” Noah yelled. “You don’t know anything, Chris. Get out of my sight!”
I glanced from Noah, whose face had gone red, to Mr. Silver, who didn’t look like an ass. He looked sad and a little scared.
“I’m leaving,” I said. I didn’t know where I’d go since Dad wouldn’t have gone to work yet. I wasn’t about to stay there and let Noah scream at me. “See you around.”
“Chris, wait, please,” Mr. Silver said.
“I told him to leave!” Noah glared at his father. “You don’t get to make decisions for me.”
“Actually, I do.” Mr. Silver sighed. “Come into the living room, Chris.”
“If he stays, I’m leaving,” Noah threatened.
“You’re going to your room to start your schoolwork.” His father folded his arms over his chest and looked Noah in the eye. Noah turned away. “Go upstairs, and we’ll talk about this after Chris leaves.”
“Don’t take Chris away from me,” Noah begged. The shift from fury to fear was so abrupt I felt dizzy. “Let him be my friend.”
“He will be, if you do what I say now.”
I didn’t like being used as a bribe, but it worked. Noah trudged into the other room. Mr. Silver and I followed in time to see Noah going up the spiral staircase.
The other man stood. He was shorter than me, with gray hair and wire-rimmed glasses. “Hello. I’m Wayne Harlow.”
