by Jude Ouvrard
“Come on, man!” Tyler called, standing by the door.
“I’ll see you soon, love you.” I gave her three small kisses on the lips. God, she was beautiful, even with sparkles all around her face.
“Take care of my man, Ty.” Nix told him. “Be good, Angel.”
“Always.”
I sat back in his car, this time on the front seat and let him drive me wherever he wanted. He hadn’t even mentioned where he wanted to go. I was starting to have serious doubts about this, but I was fucking starving and in need of some food.
“Where do you want to go?” He finally asked.
“You’ve been driving for twenty minutes and only now, you’re asking me where I want to go? I thought you knew where you were going. I just need food. Anything will do.”
We ended up in a small Thai restaurant. The type of place where you order and pay right away and the cook fixes you your meal in almost no time at all.
I ate fast even with the food almost burning the inside of my mouth. Too good and too starving to slow the hell down.
“What's the plan for later? Big night at the club?”
He chuckled with his mouth full. “I guess we can say that.”
“Why do I have the feeling that something is going on?” I asked him before I took the last bite of my Pad Thai.
“What do you mean?” He asked, but I knew he was playing dumb.
Tyler continued, “Do you feel like going to the Lucky 13?”
“The Lucky 13? Williams' bar?”
“Yeah. I talked to Joshua yesterday.”
“I haven't seen Presley in a fucking long time.” I paused trying to understand why he wanted to hang out at his biggest competitor in town. “Why, now? The other day you were talking about your plans to get more business and now, you want us to get a drink over there?”
“You know Josh, he's a good guy. I saw him the other day and he said I should stop by so you're coming with me.” He said in a tone where I didn’t want to argue with him.
“Okay.” Whatever. I drank my water wishing it were a beer, and I let him finish his food.
I checked my phone expecting a text from Nix, but I had nothing. Texting when we were away from each other was normally the first thing we did. I decided to send her one.
Levi: What are you doing?
I waited with my phone in hand but she didn’t text me back right away.
“Ready to go?”
I nodded, and slipped my phone back into my pocket. The traffic slowed us down, and Tyler seemed nervous or antsy. I could tell that he couldn’t wait to get to Lucky 13. I just wanted to get out and grab a taxi back to the apartment, but I didn't for whatever reason.
Tyler parked his SUV behind the club is the private parking lot. Everything felt odd. We hadn’t been here in months, not since before I left for New York.
When we entered the bar, I knew exactly what the fuck was going on when I saw Kyle wearing a t-shirt saying ‘Pussy-whipped Bachelor'. A fucking bachelor party.
“Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi.” They shouted my name repeatedly and I wanted to die. I had never been this embarrassed in my entire life.
“Come over here, Levi. You can't run away. We’ve got you for the night. The girls are taking care of your fiancée.”
Immediately I felt bad for Nix. I hoped they had no dirty plans in mind.
“Now, put this on.”
I took the baby-pink t-shirt into my hands and looked at it with panic.
'Bachelor: Man under Construction', on the front and on the back, 'Girls, make me pretty!'
They couldn’t be serious, right?
“Put it on, now.” Kyle urged me. Damn it. I was going to be their bitch for the night.
I put the t-shirt on and I really looked like an idiot.
Joshua and Presley said hi to Tyler while I desperately tried to hide in the back corner of the bar. Kyle laughed his ass off and I did too when I saw the back of his t-shirt, Dick Vultures. He came to see me in a recluse corner.
“Hey, Munroe.” I looked up and saw an old acquaintance. We were both tattoo artists; although he stopped inking in a shop, he still had his home studio.
“Presley, what's up?”
“Not much, just hanging out here for the night. You? Still rocking it at the shop?”
I nodded. “Things are great. Kyle and I are pleased with the business. Always busy.”
“Awesome. I send you business whenever I’m asked for a good place. I still have my machine and everything, but I don't work with new customers.”
“The photography world is keeping you busy, I guess.”
“Pretty much.” His artistic and creative side guided him through more than tattooing. He kicked ass with a camera and was asked to travel a lot for photo shoots.
“That’s awesome, man.”
“So, I heard that you’re getting married...” He looked at my ugly t-shirt and laughed. “Congratulations to you.” We shook hand. “Is she someone I know?”
“I don’t think so, she’s younger, twenty-two and she’s still going to school.” Beautiful baby-blue eyes, perfect tits and god, I miss her.
“I have someone too. She’s awesome.”
“It looks like we’re growing up, man.” We both laughed.
As the night went on, people started to arrive at the Lucky 13 and by people, I meant women and they simple loved to make me pretty. I ended with purple mascara, silver eye liner, cotton candy flavored lip gloss, a fake Marilyn Monroe freckle and I believe I had marks of lipstick all over my face. How fun was that, right? Oh, and one of them had tied my hair like they do to small dogs. I had this awful red bow in my hair. What Nix would think about this scared me. Regardless of how girly I looked, I had fun with the boys. I knew I could always count on them to humiliate me. They had me singing ‘I Will Survive’ at karaoke and it reminded me of the first time I had heard Nix sing. That required a lot much courage than I thought. At least, she could sing, I couldn't.
“Are the girls going to have a stripper over to your place?”
Tyler laughed. “No other naked man is allowed at my place.” He tapped me on the shoulder.
“I think they are going to see them.”
“What?” The fuck. “They are going at the male stripper club, as in men dancing with their manhood bouncing in every direction?”
“You heard me.”
I laughed, but at the same time, I wished I could have seen her face, her reaction. I bet she was going to be crimson red.
“Let's go, Levi. We are expected elsewhere.”
Huh? I liked it here. “I thought we were having a good time.”
“You haven't seen anything yet.”
Jesus Christ, were they bringing me to the strippers too?
Nix had been a tiny bit jealous in the past, I didn't know how she would react to this. She disliked when that girl had been flirting with me in Chicago and she obviously despised seeing me with Mercedes. I couldn't really hold that against her, though. What she might think about me seeing naked woman flaunting their best assets in my face frightened me. I didn’t know if the girls were going to tell her. The whole situation left me anxious.
I decided to text her.
Levi: Star, where are you?
I waited a few minutes.
Nix: I'm with the girls at a strip club. I’m sorry.
She felt just as bad as I did. We were pathetic.
Levi: On my way there too. Please forgive me.
Nix: Of course, I'll see you later. Have fun but not too much.
I smiled, I guess I was granted a pass for tonight. It had been years since the last time I had gone to a men's club. Strippers were never really my game. Most of them were too fake, too plastic. Nothing natural and everything implants. The only thing they would get from me was me missing my girl even more. I'll want her even more after seeing these girls getting undressed for us. Only Nix could fulfill all my needs, that much I knew.
“Come on, Levi. Hurry the fuck up.” Ky
le pushed me out of the Lucky 13's front door. The other club was a few doors down the street. Tyler, Kyle and Presley walked by my side as if I was about to bolt. I thought about it but then, I knew they would only bring me back and talk about this for years. I would be categorised as the guy who didn’t want to see tits. Damn, I knew I wouldn’t hate watching them, but it brought this whole uncomfortable feeling.
I was a pussy-whipped bachelor and proud.
Chapter SIXTEEN
We walked inside the club, ‘Dirty’ by Christina Aguilera blasting from the speakers. I took a few breaths before I watched the girl dancing on the stage. Neon lights flashed in every direction and the stage was all made of mirrors. Some very old men were sitting on the side of the stage and for some reason they gave me the creeps. Didn’t they have wives at home? I sure as fuck didn’t imagine myself coming back here again.
Presley elbowed me in the ribs. “Come on, bachelor, loosen up a little. I’ll get you something to drink.” Back in the day, Kyle, Presley and I used to help each other with the newest tech. We lost contact, for the most part, when he changed his career years ago. I could still call him my friend, but I wasn’t as close to him as I was to K or Tyler. They were my brothers.
The rest of the guys were already sitting at a table right in front of the pole... of course. Kyle had a huge grin on his face while Tyler remained a little more subtle. They sat back, watching the girl take off her bikini top. Her skin was an unnatural shade of orange – probably from too much tanning - and I probably was the only guy looking at her tan instead of her breasts. But once I did watch them... damn. Okay, this was entirely something else. So unlike Nix’s. A lot bigger, and probably worth a few thousand too. Her legs wrapped around the pole and, with only one hand holding it, she circled around it effortlessly.
“Not bad, eh?” K drooled.
“She’s not bad, but I still prefer Nix.”
“Oh come on, man. Just for one night, live a little! Enjoy this last moment you have by yourself.”
I laughed, and Tyler did too. “I’m enjoying myself, but it’s not because I’m drooling at the sight of the girls.”
Presley returned with a couple of beers and started the party. More girls came onto the stage, some prettier than others. No matter how much I tried to control myself, this made me want Nix more than anything. I couldn’t wait to be with her again tonight.
One of the dancers, a blue-eyed brunette, came on stage and danced, her eyes never leaving me. It made me so uncomfortable that I wanted to hide in the restroom. I had to man up and stay there.
She clearly wanted to seduce me, but she had it all wrong. The lip-biting, her movements, how she let her hair fall to the side of her face... It all came out fake, practiced, and I hated it. Toward the end of her song, she took the few steps down the stage and came directly to me. She played with her breasts and run her hands down her hard-as-steel abs, just an inch from my face.
“Don’t you like what you see?” She whispered into my ear. She took my hands and placed them on her hips while she danced and shook her boobs in my face. I laughed. Was she serious? I couldn’t stop laughing from embarrassment. Such a turn off for me when all she wanted was to turn me on.
Kyle slipped a twenty in her very small G-String while Tyler laughed so loud he started choking. I wanted this moment to stop. I felt her nipple touch the tip of my nose and it brought me to look up at her face. Again, she was doing the exaggerated lip-biting thing. I couldn’t remember if I had ever had boobs so big so close to my face without even trying to get a nipple in my mouth, but I was not attracted to her in any way. At the end of the song, she pushed away, offering me her hand but I declined. I waited for her to be far enough away before opening my mouth.
“Was she serious or what?”
Presley chuckled. “Thank God the song ended because she would have eaten you alive.”
I could finally breathe now that she was gone. “I didn't enjoy that dance at all.” I drank my beer in the hope of shaking my troubled thoughts away. “She had huge tits, though,” I added and we busted out in laughter.
Some girls came up to me with a bottle of spray glitter and they happily sprayed my hair so it looks like a fairy dishevelled mess. I laughed because, at that point, nothing I could do would make it better. I drank my beer and had fun with the boys. The girls kept coming and going. None of them made eye contact with me, I was a lost cause for them. No need to waste their time on me. I would never cheat on Nix for one of them. My fiancée possessed everything to make me happy: beautiful curves, charming blue eyes and everything else that I couldn’t live without.
“I've never seen you so bored, Levi.” Tyler knew me better than that.
“I'm not bored, I'm looking, enjoying myself with my friends, but I really don't need a pair of boobs pressed on my face. That freaked me out.”
“It's meant to turn you on, idiot.” Kyle sighed, unable to understand my reaction.
“I guess so, but I prefer Nix.”
“You're the worst bachelor in history.”
“I'm sorry, man.” I felt bad. I didn’t know what they expected of me but I wasn’t going to start cheating on my future wife now.
Kyle took a sip of his beer while Presley and Tyler chuckled. “The guy had the hottest girl right up his face and he didn’t do shit. Unbelievable.”
“What about Tiff, Kyle?”
He blanched. “We're good, I'm taking it slow. No rush in getting married on my side.” His eyebrow crooked, he looked at me.
“You're still waiting for the vulture, huh?” I laughed.
My phone buzzed and I removed it from my jeans pocket.
Nix sent me a picture.
“Holy shit. It appears my girl had her own private dance.” The picture showed a surprised Nix with a Jersey Shore type of guy dancing on her lap with close to no clothes. I could see his dick, for God’s Sake. I didn’t really like that, but I wasn’t really in a place to say something about it and we were both in the same situation... this was our bachelor/bachelorette party. We had no control whatsoever.
“Show us.” Presley asked, curious. He took my phone and covered his mouth with his free hand. Mother Nature had been very generous with that guy. “I think she enjoyed it, she is smiling. You almost closed your eyes when the girl did her moves on you.”
“Only because I was scared to be blinded by her nipple. Trust me, I feared for my life.” I joked.
The barmaid gave us another round of beers and I started enjoying this place a little bit more. Maybe because Nix appeared to have had some fun on her side too. I had to try to enjoy myself. I realized that without her, recently, I acted differently... Too dependent, maybe. Something I had to work on. I finished my beer and started a new one. A girl came up to me again, and put a pink feather boa around my neck. I truly looked like their little bitch now. So ridiculous.
“Now, you're all pretty, big boy.” She whispered to me before kissing my earlobe. It sent shivers down my neck. I so didn’t expect that... Damn. The girl left and I couldn’t stop laughing. The more I laughed, the more feathers ended up in my mouth. I hated that damn thing.
It had turned into a crazy night. The club was crowded, mostly by men, but a couple of women were scattered throughout the crowd as well. While I looked like the idiot of the year, everybody remained friendly with us. We were loud and took up a lot of place for such a small group.
I was given high heels from one of the dancers and invited on stage. Not only did I almost kill myself with those shoes but they made me do a spiral around their pole. That was fucking hard and I landed on my ass big time. I, for sure, expected a bruise in the morning. Everybody slipped money into my pants, and some girls were a little bit to touchy. Damn, what a fucking night. I didn’t keep those shoes for too long, they made me dizzy and unstable, so I went back to my old and comfy sneakers. I was no Cinderella, trust me.
The night flew by, and the next thing I noticed, the club staff had started cleaning. It could only
mean one thing, we had to get going. Outside on the street, I sang at the top of my lungs that I would survive! until we found a taxi driver. Tyler laughed so much he thought he was going to wet his pants, while Kyle walked by my side holding on to me because he had had too many beers. We weren't drunk, we were having fun like a bunch of teenagers.
Before I got into the car, I saw my reflection in the car window and it scared me. I looked like a very cheap drag queen. I had way more makeup on my face then I remembered. And that feather thing had left feathers all over my hair and t-shirt. Not to mention the sparkles. I tried to laugh at myself, but I was terrified that they had let me walk in the street like this.
“Damn guys, I look like a moron.” I laughed, but at the same thing I wondered how I had been able to spend the night in town without getting arrested.
“You do, man, you really do.” Kyle chuckled and pushed me inside of the car.
We didn’t have a long ride, thankfully. We were three men sitting in the back seat, trust me I thought my balls were going to squeeze their way back inside. I knew I was minutes away from seeing my girl and I couldn’t wait. I wanted to shower with her; I wanted to be Levi again. My fingers were crossed... I hoped she was back home already.
We stopped at my place first, Tyler walking up with me. He probably wanted to make sure I made it inside alive. I laughed so much on the stairs, I could barely lift my legs. Tyler offered me some help, and I tried to grab his hand, but I slipped and fell backward. At first, I didn’t know what the hell was happening until I felt my back crack and my head hit the last stair.
“Fuck, it hurts.” I said to myself, touching my eyebrow.
“Levi!” Tyler called my name while running down the stairs two at a time.
I closed my eyes in the hope that the pain would cease, but it didn’t. I saw the stars everyone kept talking about.
“Levi, open your eyes.” He ordered, and I remembered laughing at the pain.
And then, Nix.
Chapter SEVENTEEN
Jesus Christ.
My head.
It hurt.
