by Kiki Swinson
I finally made it down our long hallway and to the bedroom door. I was almost naked, standing there in just my lace La Perla bra and thong. I reached down to turn the doorknob and that’s when I heard it. It was like a bomb had exploded in my ears.
“Ewww, Matt. Oh yeah. Right there. Fuck me harder. Harder!” Even with the music blaring I recognized the voice as Yancy’s. Then . . .
“Whose pussy is this? Call me daddy! Call me your fuckin’ daddy!” I heard Matt growl. Those were words he had said to me exactly like he was saying them to that bitch. My mind was telling me to bust up in that room and kill the both of them, but for some reason my body was not following directions.
I froze and my feet became rooted to the floor. A tornado of emotions swirled inside of me and I felt unsteady on my feet. Suddenly, I could no longer hear the music blasting and all I could hear was the sound of lovemaking coming from MY bedroom. My heart rate sped up so fast it made my head swirl. I was suddenly unsteady on my feet. My first instinct was to bust in the room and go ballistic on Matt and Yancy’s ass. I wanted to fuck her up so badly that no one would recognize her face and cut his dick off so he’d never be able to use it again. My entire body was trembling and then I realized I was standing there half naked still in my underwear like the damn naïve fool that I was. The fucking joke was on me. Here I was thinking my man was surprising me with something sweet. Instead, I surprised myself. Tears involuntarily rolled down my face before what was happening really registered in my brain. I snatched my hand back from the doorknob like it was on fire. Suddenly my body came alive with the heat of shame and embarrassment. You fucking fool! They’ve been playing you all along! I silently chastised myself.
I quickly scooped up my clothes and ran down the hallway to the front of the condo. With my chest heaving up and down and my entire body trembling like a leaf in a wild storm I slipped back into my clothes. Whirling around like a madwoman I located my purse, grabbed it and my cell phone, and rushed back out the front door. I didn’t know where I was going but I knew I had to get out of there before I caught a case. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I chanted in my head. How could I be that stupid not to know that Yancy and Matt had been fucking? No wonder my relationship with him was on the rocks.
In tears I raced to my car, got in, and just started to drive aimlessly. I couldn’t even think straight. At first, I thought about driving to my old neighborhood and buying a dirty gun, going back to the condo, and shooting Yancy and Matt. Then, I thought about calling his probation officer and telling him all that Matt was into so Matt could get violated and sent back to prison. Then, I thought about going to Yancy’s little town house and setting that shit on fire. All sorts of things ran through my mind, but finally, after driving around for hours, I came to a resolution that I felt wickedly good about.
“Y’all fucked around on the wrong bitch. I’m not about to be disrespected and played,” I growled out loud as if Matt and Yancy could hear me. At that moment, I had decided that instead of being ratchet and raising hell, I would slowly and methodically plot my revenge. I decided that I would destroy Yancy and Matt slowly and watch their lives crumble to ashes, but not before I got everything I wanted out of the deal at their expense.
* * *
My phone vibrated in my hand again and snapped me back into the moment. I let out a long breath and rolled my eyes.
Yeah. Straight to voice mail, you. Not even ten seconds after I hit the ignore button, Matt was calling again. I furrowed my brows and squinted at the phone. What has this nigga so hard-pressed? Still, I hit ignore again. I told myself if he called back a third time it must be important and I would answer it. Well, before the thought could fully leave my mind, Matt was calling again. I sucked in my breath and shook my head.
“Yeah, Matt,” I grumbled into the phone.
“Yo, bae, where you at?” Matt questioned, trying to sound all sweet and shit. I rolled my eyes and twisted my lips. He was acting so fucking fake that it sickened me to my stomach.
“I’m at the Chanel store exercising some retail therapy,” I said sassily. “But the question is, where you at? I hope you and Yancy are taking care of what you were supposed to do today,” I said with a nasty undertone to my words. I wanted Matt to know that I wasn’t feeling that bitch. I had sent the two of them on a mission to cash two five-thousand-dollar bogus checks that I had gotten my hands on. Since finding out about Matt and Yancy’s little affair, I had been using them for all of the dirty work so I could keep piling and stacking my dough for the big finale I had planned for their trifling, sneaky asses. So far, I was about two hundred thousand shy of the million I needed to make my exit. Matt and Yancy were too fucking dumb and so happy to be together behind my back that they never suspected what I was doing—making them take all the risk and do all of the dirty work. Revenge was a sweet bitch for sure.
“No speaking on this jack. Hit me from your throwaway as soon as you leave the store. What I need to tell you is real important so do it right way,” Matt said, sounding like he meant business.
“Yeah, a’ight,” I replied. I knew I sounded uninterested.
“No bullshit. This is about the next lick,” he said seriously.
In that case, I was all ears. “A’ight, bet,” I agreed before hanging up the phone.
My little evil Asian saleslady finally returned with my bags all nicely packed and tied up pretty. Usually shopping made me feel powerful and good about myself, but today I felt indifferent.
“Thank you for your business, Mrs. Hargrove,” the saleslady said, calling me by the name on the fake credit card I had given her. “I’m really sorry about earlier. It’s just that we’ve had a string of credit card fraud hits lately and with all of our new training I—” the saleslady started. I raised my hand and halted her words.
“Not every black person lives in poverty, so I hope you learned not to judge a book by its cover,” I told her, using the most snobby voice I could muster. I watched her cheeks turn red and she lowered her head in shame. I picked up my bags that contained over fifteen thousand dollars’ worth of merchandise, feeling vindicated, and sauntered out of the store with a smile on my face.
When I made it to my car, I threw my bags into the trunk and rushed around to the driver’s-side door to jump inside. I popped open my glove box and pulled out one of the TracFones that Matt, Yancy, and I use to communicate about our little illegal business dealings. I punched in the number to Matt’s new throwaway phone and tapped my fingernails on the steering wheel as I waited for him to answer.
“Bae?” Matt answered. I shuddered at the phoniness of him calling me his bae when he knew damn well he was fucking Yancy behind my back.
“Ahem.” I cleared my throat and swallowed the hard lump that had formed in the back of it. I took a quick, deep breath so that I wouldn’t go crazy on Matt’s ass.
“Yeah, Matt, what’s up?” I said, closing my eyes to keep my feelings at bay.
“You are not going to believe this shit,” Matt said excitedly. I was quiet. Nothing about him excited me anymore. I mean what was he going to tell me? He got off probation or his trifling-ass family had stopped begging for money?
“Believe what?” I asked dryly, rolling my eyes.
“Our girl Yancy Yance came through in a major way today,” Matt continued. His voice went up a few notches in pitch when he said that bitch’s name. My insides swirled with a quick flash of jealousy and nausea. Hearing Matt refer to Yancy as “our girl” almost literally made me throw up.
“You mean your girl,” I said sarcastically. The fucking nerve of him to refer to her as our girl. Matt was really starting to push my buttons. He was so lucky I had an endgame in mind.
“Not only did she cash those stolen checks but while she was in the bank some dude dropped a Hermès billfold right in front of her,” Matt said with pure admiration in his tone. The mere thought of him and her fucking each other behind my back gave me a queasy feeling in my stomach. It seemed like the more he talked about
her, the harder it was for me to keep my hatred at bay.
“And?” I said in an annoyed, ready-to-snap tone. It was all I could do to keep myself from going off. Lately, it seemed like Yancy could do no fucking wrong in his eyes.
“And, that shit had a stack in it, plus American Express black and plum cards too,” Matt said overjoyed. As bad as I wanted to be mad and jealous that he was giving Yancy props, when I heard what she had found a quick fleeting feeling of excitement filled my chest and my eyebrows went into arches on my face. That excitement quickly faded when I really thought about what he was saying.
“Wait. We don’t fuck with American Express cards. American Express monitors their cards like Fort fucking Knox. Anyway, I’m almost sure the owner of the billfold has already reported them lost,” I reminded Matt. “So why the fuck would I be excited about that?” I grumbled. I was so blinded by the jealousy of Matt giving Yancy props that I couldn’t help but snap on him.
“I know that, Lauren. You ain’t let me finish. Damn, so hardheaded,” he said in a disgusted voice.
“Then what? I mean, okay, she found a thousand dollars and a Hermès wallet that we can probably sell but we can’t use the fucking cards so what is so great about Miss Yancy Yance,” I snapped, emphasizing his little nickname for her in a mocking way.
“Yo, you sound mad salty right now, Lauren. I don’t know what your fucking problem is,” Matt shot back. I had to literally bite the skin on the inside of my cheek to keep from telling him exactly what my problem was.
“No, that’s not all she found. She also got dude’s bank account information and according to the bank statement he had folded up inside the wallet there is over three million in one of his fucking accounts!” Matt announced proudly. My eyebrows shot into arches on my face. I swallowed hard and suddenly my palms became sweaty. I was hoping I was hearing him correctly. Three million dollars in one account? That was a lot of money. We’d never gotten info on an account that big.
“Oh shit,” I gasped. “Are you fucking serious? Wait, are you sure y’all have the account number? Statements don’t list the whole account number.”
“Yo, for real, Lauren, I’m gonna need you to get on the same page with me because you are not understanding what I’m saying. We’re not stupid, we know that. That’s what I was trying to tell you—this one does. We have the fucking account number in full! Now all we have to do is get your dude Ryan to do his best hacking and transfer job and our asses will be set for life,” Matt preached, elated as hell.
“Stop fucking playing with me.” I said. All I could think about was my endgame. If what Matt was saying was true, stealing three million dollars would be like hitting the fucking lottery. That would put me in the perfect position to snatch the last bit of cash I needed, put the last of my revenge plan into action on Matt and Yancy, and bounce forever without looking back. Leaving shitty-ass Virginia Beach has been my lifelong dream. I wouldn’t even go visit my bitch-ass mother in prison to let the bitch know I was leaving. She had left me for dead so many times in my life, I hardly ever thought about her anymore. In fact, I hated her with every fiber of my being.
“I’ll be home in fifteen minutes so we can plot this thing out. So I guess you can tell Yancy I said good work,” I said to Matt.
“Hurry up. We gon’ get this shit poppin’ and then we all gon’ celebrate,” he said cheerfully. I twisted my lips at that. I wasn’t celebrating shit with them except my escape and my revenge.
If what Matt said was true about the three million dollars, I was going to make sure Matt and Yancy never saw a dime of that fucking money. I already knew I was smarter than both of them put together. I had proven that shit over and over with all of the checks I had them running around the city cashing and I was collecting most of the money off the top.
I looked up at myself in my rearview mirror and winked at myself. “You got it going on, Lauren. Nobody can’t fuck with you,” I said out loud, giving myself a little pep talk. As I drove toward home, my mind raced with all sorts of wicked thoughts about how I’d leave those two sneaky traitors behind high, dry, and broke. From day one, I helped that bitch. I helped her escape her pimp, got her somewhere to lay her head, gave her some clothes and food. But what did that get me? A fucking hard way to go and my man’s dick inside her every time I turned my back. But it was all good. I’d get my sweet taste of revenge. Yancy would be able to continue fucking Matt and I’d be on my way out of the country with every red cent of the three million dollars. I knew the look on her and Matt’s face would be priceless. Too bad I wouldn’t be around to see it. It’d be bon voyage, motherfuckas!
MATT
I disconnected the call with my girl Lauren and I was feeling pretty damn good about the possibilities of getting my hands on some serious cash. I was daydreaming about how I could buy back into the game and about how good it would feel not to have to depend on my girl to come up with ways for us to make money like I did now. The good thoughts and feelings were cut short when I turned around and saw Yancy’s face. As soon as I got off the phone with Lauren, Yancy rushed over and got all in my face with her lips poked out and her arms folded across her chest looking evil as hell. I could’ve just predicted what was coming next as soon as I saw that hater scowl on her face. I let out a long sigh in anticipation of the bullshit. The past few weeks I had noticed that Yancy was finding it harder and harder to hide her jealousy of Lauren. In other words, Yancy was getting that side-chick envy that most niggas dreaded dealing with.
“I just don’t understand why you need to tell her everything all of the fucking time.” Yancy sounded like the stupid immature young chick that she was. “I’m the one who found the wallet. I’m the one who deserves all of the money. We could’ve taken that shit and blew town but nooooo you had to tell your precious little Lauren about it so she can get a cut of some shit she didn’t work for,” Yancy complained.
I shook my head in disgust. She couldn’t be serious with what she was saying. Lauren was my main chick and I was going to ride with her to the end.
“C’mon with that bullshit, Yancy. You sound like a little whiny-ass baby right now. You better remember who picked your ass up from the streets.” I brushed past her. I wasn’t going to say anything else about the subject to her dumb ass. I wanted Yancy to stay in side-chick lane but she was always trying to cross over into the wifey zone. I mean what was the point of having a side chick if she was going to be nagging you like she was your wifey? I’d told Yancy over and over again that I wasn’t ready to leave Lauren. Yancy’s pussy was tight and good as hell, but I was starting to think that a good nut wasn’t worth the headache anymore.
“Don’t say it’s bullshit, Matt! And don’t keep trying to ignore me!” Yancy pressed. “I have a voice and an opinion and I think you should respect that!” Yancy screamed and followed me from the living room into my bedroom.
Oh, all of a sudden this dumb bitch wants to have an opinion? It’s a little too late in the game for that shit!
At that moment, her squeaky-ass voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard. I felt my fists curling on their own and my jaw was moving from me biting down into it. I could really see myself punching her in the mouth, but then I had to think about how I would explain Yancy’s ass being knocked out to Lauren when she got home.
“We could’ve just gotten the cash and left her ass right here where she belongs. I mean, it’s not like you ain’t never thought about doing it. You even told me that you were sick of her ass!”
“If you wanna know the truth, I’m sick of your ass, too. Walking around here like your shit don’t stink. I know what I said so I don’t need you to remind me. Now if I say this is how shit is going to go, then shut the fuck up and accept it. I’m running this show. You hear me?”
“Yeah, I hear you. But you know what? You’re worse than her. One minute you acting like I’m all that you need and want, but every now and then, Matt, you act like you truly want to still be with Lauren and the fact that you’re sti
ll living here with her, playing house with her, sleeping with her every night and giving her more than you give me is not all a coincidence,” Yancy griped.
I let out a long sigh, shook my head left to right in disgust, and flopped down on the side of my bed. I picked up my Black & Mild, tore the paper, and started rolling my blunt with some of the best sour weed I had copped in a long time. All I wanted was to smoke in peace and make a plan to get more money. It was that simple, but when you fuck with simple bitches like Yancy, they always make it harder than it really is.
“Matt! I’m fucking talking to you,” Yancy raised her voice. But I ignored her. I licked the cigar paper to make sure I had a good seal on my blunt.
“Matt! You better say something I wanna hear because if you don’t I swear on everything I love that I will tell Lauren about us as soon as she walks through that fucking door,” Yancy hissed with her pointer finger so close to my face it almost touched my nose. Her words hit me like a hammer to the head. I put my blunt down. I glared at Yancy with fire flashing in my eyes.
“Yancy, I wish you would open your mouth. ’Cause if you do, I promise I’m going to beat you to death in here.”
“Oh, so now you wanna put your fucking hands on me? You wanna play my pimp now?” Yancy taunted, trying to tower over me.
“Yancy, you better get the fuck away from me right now,” I warned her.
“Or what?” she dared me.
