by Kiki Swinson
Those last few words of my prayer resonated with me the longest. I truly didn’t know how I had gotten to this point. I immediately started to think back on everything that had happened. I had definitely done my share of dirt but did I really deserve to die like this?
My mind raced with a million thoughts but at the forefront was the fact that I believed that Daysha had set me up. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I crouched down and hid. My own friend had turned on me in the worst way. A hiccup of sobs escaped my mouth before I could even control it. I quickly clasped my hands over my mouth.
“In here! Here!” I heard one of the men bark. My shoulders slumped and I just closed my eyes.
“Get her!” I heard another one yell. I felt them pushing the door against my back. I gave up. I gave up on trying to run. I gave up on trying to find happiness. I gave up on trying to find love. I gave up on trying to have money and survive. I just finally gave it all up.
I was still sobbing, but I was going to face these dudes like a woman. I stood up and turned toward the door. When the first goon pushed it in he jumped because he didn’t expect to find me standing there ready to go with them without a fight.
“I got her!” he called out to the rest. I shot him an icy glare as my entire body trembled. For all I knew he was going to pull out a gun and shoot me down right there. He didn’t. The second goon rushed through the doorway and clamped down on my arm roughly.
“The boss wants her brought to him alive,” he told the others. “He wants to do the honors himself.”
They dragged me out of the building and into a black SUV. They didn’t bother to tie me up, handcuff me, or anything.
“Where are y’all taking me?” I croaked out, my throat sore and my mouth dry.
“To hell if you don’t pray,” one of them answered with an eerie finality that sent chills down my spine.
When the SUV they had forced me to ride in pulled into the desolate area, my heart thumped against my chest bone. I stretched my eyes and saw that there were nothing but warehouses and factories surrounding the entire area. This couldn’t be a good sign, I was thinking. I looked around and right away I knew this was the type of place thugs like these took people to kill them. We were near the port, that much I could tell. In the distance I could see the water and the ships behind the buildings. It was a place that was familiar to me since I was from the Tidewater area.
You might as well consider yourself as good as dead, Lauren. My imagination ran wild and was telling me that there were probably many bodies in the murky green water behind the warehouses. I surmised that I would be joining them soon enough.
When the SUV rolled through the tall, silver chain-link fence each pop and crunch of the gravel under the tires unnerved me. The tension inside of the car was palpable, to say the least. My teeth began chattering uncontrollably. My body trembled as well. I wrung my hands in my lap and swung my legs open and closed nervously. None of the goons said anything once we arrived, but I could feel a different type of vibe envelop the car. It was ominous and dark all of a sudden. They knew the fate that awaited me.
I was praying in my head but the words weren’t really clear to me. I had already started to wig the fuck out mentally. Everything was muddled and blurry. Even my hearing was blocked by a ringing noise that suddenly exploded inside of them. I guess this was what happened when a person felt like they were looking death directly in the eyes. The best I could describe it was a dizzying fear that threatened the very fiber of my sanity. I could actually feel the fine strings of my mental stability coming loose.
When the vehicle finally stopped moving something inside of me seemed to click on as if someone flipped a light switch inside of me. Or maybe it was more like something snapped in half like a twig being broken in the middle. Whatever happened, it caused my body to come alive like I had been pumped with a billion watts of electricity. I guess my fight-or-flight instinct kicked in because I started fighting like I was in the center of a boxing ring with my toughest opponent. I swung my arms and caught the goon to my left right across his face. He clearly didn’t see it coming nor did he expect it.
“Oh shit! This little . . .” he balked, quickly throwing his hands up to his face. The goon sitting on my right side tried to grab me but he wasn’t able to get a good grip on me before I was first able to claw a chunk of skin from his cheek.
“Ahhh! Get this bitch!” he howled. I kicked wildly and swung my arms just as wildly. They weren’t ready for me. I may have been a woman and short in stature, but my will to live made me as big and tall as every motherfucka in that vehicle. I was moving so wildly that I couldn’t see nor did I really know who or what I was hitting with each crazy swing.
“Calm that bitch down! Y’all letting a bitch fuck y’all up!” the goon that was driving yelled from the front.
“This bitch is crazy,” the goon on my left huffed. “I’m about to put two in her fucking head!” he growled.
That’s right. I wanted them to know I was crazy . . . crazy about my life. It didn’t matter who was trying to capture and kill me, I wasn’t going down without a fierce fight. I had been through a lot in my lifetime and through it all I knew one thing for sure . . . I was a fucking fighter. I didn’t lie down easily for nobody. I swung at the goon on my left again but I missed. He grabbed hold of my wrists and squeezed them so hard it made me buckle over at the waist. I just knew he would shatter all of the bones in my wrists.
“Ahhh,” I said, wincing, but I didn’t stop fighting. I couldn’t move my arms but I sure kicked and bucked my body like a wild animal being carried to slaughter. The goon on my right scrambled out of the door.
“Grab this bitch! I’m sick of her,” the one holding my wrists demanded. His partner leaned back into the car from outside of the door and stuck his hands under both of my shoulders and began pulling me out of the SUV.
“Get off of me! Agh! Get the fuck off of me!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. My prayer was that someone, somewhere nearby would hear my cries. The other goon finally released my wrists. He shouldn’t have. I jutted my foot out forcefully and caught him with a perfect kick in his side. He made a noise but he kept on coming. My kick didn’t faze him but it sure did infuriate him.
“That’s it! She’s a dead bitch! I’m sick of this bitch!” the goon boomed, pulling his gun from his waist.
“No! Don’t fucking shoot her right here!” the driver barked. The other goon sucked in his bottom lip and slowly put his gun away. I kicked at him again but I couldn’t get to him. I turned my head to the side and tried in vain to bite the goon who was holding me under the shoulders.
“This little spitfire is trying to fucking bite me now,” he grumped.
“Get her the fuck inside so we can do what we gotta do. She’s lucky the boss wants her brought to him alive or else I would’ve put this bitch on ice,” the driver growled. Before anything else was said I was dragged from the vehicle. As soon as my feet hit the dirt I started bucking, kicking, biting, and spitting again. I was exhausted and my body ached, but I would not stop fighting.
“Let go of me! Get off of me!” I kicked, screamed, and flailed as all the three men tried in vain to drag me toward the door to the warehouse-looking building.
“Get off of me!” I wasn’t going in there that fucking easily. I felt like I was on death row being led to the chamber. No wonder it took so many guards for the death row inmates. It was a different kind of fight when you felt like your life was on the line.
“Ouch! Little bitch!” One of the goons growled. I had kicked him in the stomach as he tried to lift me onto his shoulder.
“This little bitch is a fighter,” one of the others commented. The tallest of the three gorilla goons finally hoisted me, kicking and screaming, onto his shoulder. I began pounding my fists into his back. My small hits didn’t faze him at all. He began walking swiftly to the door. I couldn’t let them take me inside. I turned my head and was able to latch onto his ear with my teeth. I bit down with the
force of a mighty lioness. I moved my top and bottom teeth side to side while my sharp teeth were clamped down on the goon’s cartilage.
“Arrrrggghhh!” the goon screamed out. “Agggghhh! Get her off of me! Get this bitch off of me! She’s fucking biting me!” he hollered, his voice going high-pitched like a woman’s. I was taking great satisfaction in inflicting this type of pain on him. He was trying to dump me over but I wouldn’t let go of the jaw lock I had on his ear. I could taste his blood on my tongue now. The scent and taste made me feel animalistic. The adrenaline made me feel powerful. Even with all of that going on the goons still managed to take me inside the building. The scent of sawdust, burnt flesh, and blood shot up my nose as soon as we entered. Blood covered my lips and made a red smear that extended from my mouth across my cheek. I was breathing like a wild beast.
WHAM! The force and pain from something hard slamming into the side of my face forced my mouth open. I finally let go of the clamp I had on the goon’s ear. The man quickly threw me down onto the concrete floor with a thud.
“Agh!” I cried out as a foot slammed into my rib cage as soon as I was on the floor. I also hit the back of my head and was seeing stars for a few seconds. Dazed and confused, I was still very aware that my life was about to end.
“This fucking little bitch took a chunk of skin off my ear,” the goon I had bitten whined as he carefully put his hand on his injury. When he brought his hand back to the front of his face and saw all of the blood covering his fingers. . .
“Aghhhh! Look at this shit! I should kill this bitch,” he shrieked like a woman. He drove his huge foot into my stomach.
“Awwg,” I gagged. My legs instinctively shot up toward my chest, forming a cover for my stomach. He went to kick me again but one of the other goons stopped him before he could.
“Nah. We had instructions to bring her here alive. We can’t do shit until the boss says so,” another of the goons answered.
“This bitch is so lucky. I would rip her fucking head off and shit down her neck, I swear,” the goon with the missing ear chunk snarled. I started laughing like a crazy woman. I was losing grip with my reality and I think shock or delirium was setting in on me. Was this how it was all going to end for me? After all of the shit I had survived growing up . . . I was about to die in some warehouse behind some stolen money?
“Go get the boss,” the other goon said to the one holding his ear. “Let him decide what to do with her.” The injured goon scrambled out of the door. I began praying in earnest.
God, if You spare my life I will change. Only You know my heart. Only You know this was all about survival and not hurting anyone. Matt got what he deserved for years of his abuse. God, if You spare my life I will change.
My prayer was interrupted after a few seconds. I opened my eyes when I heard the click of more than one pair of shoes ringing out against the concrete floor like gunshots. From the sound of it there was more than two people entering the room.
“Oww,” I howled as I was snatched up from the floor by my hair and forced into a hard metal chair.
“Fuck off of me!” I growled as both of my arms were forcefully pulled behind my back so far that my shoulders bulged. I moved my body up and down but to no avail. My ankles were roughly tied to the legs of the chair. It was no more use in fighting. I finally went still. I kept my head down and my eyes closed. I didn’t want to see whatever they were going to do to me coming.
Just do it. Get it over with. Take me out of my misery, I said in my head as if those killers could somehow read my mind.
“Look at him!” one of the goons growled, clutching onto a fistful of my hair and forcing my downturned head upward. “He wants to look into the eyes of the bitch that took his money! Show him some respect!” My eyes fluttered open and I squinted against the bright light that was hanging from the ceiling. At first all I could see was the silhouettes of two men. I could tell they were dressed in suits. I knew from the sound when they entered that they also wore hard-bottomed dress shoes. All of these assessments told me that whoever had captured me wasn’t Matt and his rough-around-the-edges-ass friends.
The first man stepped closer to me. His chin was square and his face was hard, his expression twisted in a cruel sneer that was nothing like the playboy businessman I’d seen in the magazines and on TV. The man we’d stolen three million dollars from. Nikolai Kudrin.
I was shocked. I never imagined that one of my marks would actually come after me. My hustles were supposed to be safe. My victims probably got all their money back from their banks after I hit them up. Plus, they’d never be able to track me. How did Kudrin find me?
“So this is her? The genius behind the whole operation,” the man said. “Look at her now? All pitiful,” he continued. He summoned the other man over. When the second man stepped closer, I felt warm urine escape down my legs. I shook my head no. My body was wracked with the shakes. Suddenly I could no longer breathe. I felt like I would hyperventilate. Can’t be? This can’t be! I screamed in my head. I told myself that I had to be hallucinating.
I sucked in my breath when I looked up and my vision finally came into full focus. Tears sprang to my eyes immediately and I could literally feel my heart crumbling to a million little pieces in my chest. My head started pounding like somebody was using it for a drum. My stomach swirled with nausea. Before I knew it, I leaned over in the chair they had propped me up in and threw up. I gagged and gagged over and over again until I had nothing left to give. I couldn’t stop the dry heaves from coming. I literally felt like my entire world had crashed in on me. This can’t be! No! No! My mind raced at the speed of light.
“Dr . . . Dr . . . Drake,” I rasped, my throat burning as if I had just swallowed a firelit sword. No! This can’t be true! No! It can’t be him! I screamed inside of my head. No words would come out of my mouth. The shock was tearing me apart inside. I literally felt like someone had set all of my organs on fire.
I blinked a few more times just to be certain that my eyes were not deceiving me. I couldn’t believe that Drake was standing there, dressed in a suit. I had just slept with him the night before. He had just told me he loved me the week before. I had just made love to this man every night for the past two months. He was a part of my new life, not the Virginia Beach hood I’d been born into. Our whole relationship flashed through my mind and I still couldn’t figure out how my old life and new life collided. My mouth hung open in shock.
“You thought that you could just get away that easily?” the other man snarled at me. I had come to the quick conclusion that he was the boss. Maybe Drake was his right-hand man? I didn’t care what the boss was talking about, I simply could not take my eyes off of Drake. He refused to look me in the eye.
“You bastard! Fucking bastard!” I shrieked. It just came out of nowhere. It had bubbled up from the pit of my soul. The scream zapped all of my energy. The pain I felt from Drake’s betrayal was enough to kill me. When the pain subsided and I was able to look up again, Drake was looking at me like he didn’t know me. I was in too much shock to even call his name out. Drake probably wasn’t his name anyway. I was in love with the enemy. He had been so perfect. I had never had a man treat me like he had. Just like everything and everyone else in my life, it was all temporary, all a lie. I guess I wasn’t good enough to find someone who would really love me. If I wasn’t good enough to be loved by my parents why should anything else be different?
“Oh she’s a tough one, huh?” the boss gritted. “But what she didn’t know is that you don’t fuck with Nikolai Kudrin. Get her the fuck up. I want to show her what she can expect.”
My eyes went wide. I knew it was time for me to be killed. I wondered how Drake was going to feel watching me suffer. I wondered if any of his feelings for me were real.
The same three goons untied me and roughly pulled me up from the chair. It didn’t matter what they did to me at that point, I still could not and would not take my eyes off of Drake. I locked eyes with him and we both exch
anged a long, telling glance. There was a serenity in his eyes that changed something inside of me. It was like all of the hurt and pain faded away in that instant. Although he had betrayed me in the worst way, for some reason I wasn’t afraid to die anymore. I had accepted my fate. I guess everything had come full circle for me. There was no more need to fight. I was finally ready to accept the karmic consequences of my actions for all of these years. Stealing from people. Lying to people. Tricking Matt and Yancy out of every dime of the money although they had worked for it too. All of the shit I had done was coming back to me.
When Kudrin’s minions took me out of the chair, I didn’t even fight. I had accepted my fate, therefore I had no more fight in me. I was forcefully led into another room. The lights were dimmer in this other room and the air in the room was freezing. Even with the bitter-cold air stinging the inside of my nose, I could still smell the acrid, tinny odor of old blood. It was like raw meat gone bad.
“Take her over there. Show her what she did. Show her what’s about to happen to her if she doesn’t start talking about where the fuck they put my money,” Kudrin demanded. I was dragged to the other side of the room. I was shivering so fiercely my muscles started to seize up. It was painful being that cold. It was like they had me inside of a meat freezer.
“Look! Look at what you caused! This is all you,” one of the goons growled, while he held my neck in the direction of what he wanted me to see.
I sucked in my breath. My eyes went round and my mouth fell open when I saw him. My knees began knocking against each other. More urine trickled down my legs and my stomach knotted up. I had to squeeze my sphincter muscle to keep from literally shitting myself.
“Matt!” I screamed. I felt the blood rush to my face, which caused my head to swirl. “Matt!” My knees finally buckled and I almost fell to the floor. The goons held on to me tighter and kept me from hitting the floor.
“Look! Look at him and don’t turn your fucking face away!” one of the goons snarled, holding my face roughly and forcing me to look down at Matt. I felt like throwing up again. I couldn’t stand to look at him. It was too much. Guilt kicked me in the head. I was responsible for this. I tried to look around the room to see if they had gotten Yancy, too. There was just me and Matt. In the end, we had started out together and now it looked like we were going to end things together.
