by Karen Einsel
Lynn is a pretty petite girl with short blond hair and green eyes. She smiles shyly at Chris. “No, she knows that if she stayed, I’d get all nervous and self conscience. This is all her idea. For some reason she thinks we should have professional photos done honoring my major milestone of turning 18.”
Here Chris was worried she would be an uppity snob, but finds that Lynn is really sweet and bashful, much like herself. Chris smiles and pulls her camera out of her bag. “Okay. So are you ready to get to work?”
After taking different shots in different poses, Chris sends Lynn off to change outfits. Waiting for her to come back, Chris notices out of the corner of her eye, that someone is watching her. She glances over in that direction and sees a teenage boy standing there, then quickly looks away while thinking, He looks familiar, maybe he’s come into the store when I was working there. Chris looks back over at him again and he’s got a big grin on his face. Chris furrows her brow.
“Jason?”
He walks over and gives her a hug, “Hi Chris”
“Oh my God… Jason is it really you?” Chris wipes a tear from her cheek. It’s been ten years since she last saw him, standing by the window, watching her leave. Holding him at arm’s length she looks him over. “You have grown. I almost didn’t recognize you. What are you doing here?”
“This is the family that adopted me.”
His adopted mom walks out, “You two know each other?”
Jason has tears in his eyes now as he tells her, “This is Chris.”
She gives him a quizzical look. “Your” Chris?”
Jason smiles as he looks at her, “Yep, “my” Chris.”
Chris looks at one and then the other and Jason’s adopted mom explains. “That first day he came to us, he was inconsolable. All he wanted was “his” Chris. In fact the first few days, everything we’d do, he’d tell us Chris already taught me how to do that, or Chris lets me spread the peanut butter.”
Lynn has come back out and is standing there listening to them talk. Lynn reaches over to ruffle Jason’s hair. “He was a brat.”
Laughing Jason’s pulls back. “Hey, I wasn’t either.”
Lynn laughs, “And he still is.”
“Lynn, quit picking on your brother. He wasn’t a brat. He loved you Chris and didn’t trust anyone else, that’s all. The social worker told us about you when she first brought him. She told us to give him a few days to adjust and he did, after she came back on that Tuesday and gave him a hug from you, that is.” Jason grins. They talk for a while and Chris tells them about Barb and Brad and the birthday cake and her wish.
Finishing up the photo shoot, Chris now knows why Lynn is a lot like her. It’s because Lynn was a foster child also. Chris picks up her equipment. “I’ll have the proofs ready on Tuesday. I won’t be there until 3 p.m. but you can come and go through them anytime Tuesday with Charlie or Steve.”
His adopted mom smiles at her, “I think I’ll come by after I pick these two up from school, that way Jason can visit with you some more.” Chris thanks her and she gives Chris a hug. “No thank you for taking care of him and teaching him how to spread peanut butter.”
Chris has tears in her eyes as she gives Jason another hug and then she turns to his adopted mom. “No thank you for giving him such a loving home.”
Chris sets her camera bag on the front counter and Charlie smiles at her. “Well how’d it go?”
Chris smiles, “I think it went good…at least I hope it did.”
“So are you ready to start finding out?” Chris nods and follows Charlie into the darkroom. Hanging the last of the negatives up to dry, Charlie tells her, “Time for lunch, are you hungry?” Chris’ stomach growls and Charlie smiles. “ Yeah that’s what I thought. Well I left Steve a note on the desk telling him to go get us some lunch. I hope you like Mexican food.”
She grins “I like all food.”
Chris crumbles up her napkin and lays it on her plate. “Hmm…That was good. Thank you Charlie.”
“You are very welcome. So what day are the clients coming to view the prints?”
“Tuesday after three. I hope that’s okay? Since, I can’t get here until three.” Charlie raises an eyebrow at her. “Didn’t Steve tell you? I got the job at the school!”
“I finally find someone that can take good pictures and you’re deserting me already?”
“I’m sorry” She tells him giving him a mock pout. “I can still come in on those two days, but it has to be at three. Is that okay?”
Charlie pats her on the knee, “That’s fine. 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. works too.”
Chris grabs the bowl of popcorn from Sue
“Hey!”
“Hey what? You’re the one eating it all.”
Sue grins at her. “Sorry”
“I saw Jason today.”
“The little boy that you were in foster care with?”
“Uh huh”
“Where did you see him at?”
“You know the photo shoot I did today?” Sue nods her head. “They are his adopted family.”
“Did he recognize you?”
Chris smiles, “He recognized me before I knew it was him. I was standing on the patio waiting for the girl to go change her clothes and I noticed him out the corner of my eye. When I turned to look at him he grinned at me.”
“How long has it been since you last saw him?”
“Ten years, he’ll start high school in September.”
“Chris, Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, ask away.”
“When was the last time you saw your foster parents?”
“It has been about two years. Why?”
“Do they know where you are?”
Chris shakes her head no.
“You should go see them.”
Chris’ eyes cloud over with sadness and a deep sorrow.
“They probably don’t want to see me. In fact, they probably hate me for disappearing like I did.”
“Chris they probably don’t hate you. From what you’ve told me, they are probably worried sick. Not knowing if you’re alive or dead. You should go see them. If my parents didn’t hear from me for that long, they’d be frantic.”
“I can’t”
Sue sees Chris clenching and unclenching her hands, so she lets it drop for now, but….
“Not to change the subject or anything Sue, but I need to find out where the school is that I will be working at.”
“I can take you to work on Monday, on my way to work.”
“No, I thought maybe we could drive by it tomorrow, that way I can walk to work as long as the weather is nice, and as long as it’s not too far away. It isn’t is it?”
Sue smiles, “No, it’s probably about 2 miles from here. We can drive by there tomorrow, but I don’t want you walking just because you don’t want to impose. It’s really not out of my way.”
“No, I like to walk, besides I can use the exercise.”
“Okay, well I’m going to head off to bed. Night Chris”
“Night Sue, sleep well.”
After Sue leaves, Chris picks up her portfolio and looks at the photos of Brandon and mom and dad and she silently weeps.
Monday morning Chris is up and a total nervous wreck. Sue finally comes out of the bathroom and Chris hurries in. Sue laughs and heads towards the kitchen to grab something to eat, seeing how Chris got up and made breakfast, she figures why not. Coming back out of the bathroom Chris checks her pockets to make sure she has everything. Keys, Id. Looking out the window she decides she won’t need an umbrella, because the rain is gone and the sun is out, just like the weatherman said it would be.
“Well I’m going to go.”
“A little early don’t you think?”
Chris smiles, “It will probably take me half an hour to get there and that will give me 15 minutes to figure out what the “H” I’m doing.”
Sue laughs, “Okay, we
ll have a great first day. And mind the teacher and don’t take any candy from strangers, and if someone wants to give you a ride, run away, screaming, okay?”
Chris laughs, “Yes mom.”
Walking along, the things that Sue told her bring back memories of her senior year in high school. How she wasn’t allowed to ride in Brandon’s car at first and then when she was finally allowed, he told mom, “That it was more fun walking her home.” Maybe if she would have ran away screaming, she wouldn’t be missing him now. Shaking her head to clear it, she looks around at everything along her route, taking in all the sites and sounds of everyday life going on around her.
Chris walks up the sidewalk. She smiles and nods to the custodian who is running the flag up the flagpole. She watches the woman walking in front of her and figures it might be the secretary. Chris stops at the door and looks around. Taking a deep breath, she pushes open the office door and walks in.
It’s Saturday afternoon and Chris is cleaning up the apartment. Sue and her went to the aerobics studio this morning and laughing at themselves, they decided if they ever get good enough and save enough money they will open their own. Chris can’t believe how fast time goes by. She’s been at Sue’s two months now and tomorrow she gets to move into her own apartment. She still can’t believe her luck. She was just getting home from work last week and was checking the mail when the apartment manager walked up to her. Replaying the conversation over and over in her head she still wonders if she heard her right. “Hi Chris, how are you today?” Smiling Chris had told her that she was doing okay. “Chris, do you know of anyone looking to rent an apartment? The couple that lives next to you and Sue is moving out Saturday and I need to get the apartment rented.”
“Hey…” Sue comes in as Chris is running the vacuum.
Chris turns off the vacuum. “What?”
“Want to go to the club tonight? I just heard they have another new band playing tonight.”
“I don’t think so, it’s been a long week and I’m thinking I’d like to just sit down and read tonight, but you should go.”
“Are you sure? I know for a fact that a couple of the cute teachers from the school are going to be there tonight and Steve will probably show up too.”
Chris turns the vacuum back on and cups her hand to her ear, “What’d you say? I can’t hear you!” Laughing Sue walks off into the kitchen.
Chris is still up reading when Sue gets in just before midnight.
“Hey you’re still up.”
Chris smiles at her, “Uh huh”
“Steve said to tell you hi. He likes you, you know.”
“I know and he is a really nice guy, but…”
Sue plops down on the couch. “I know what you mean. Chris not to change the subject but… I want to meet your foster parents.”
Chris places her piece of paper inside her book to save her page, closes it and lays it on the table. “Why?”
Sue takes a deep breath, “Because I think you need to go see them. You won’t know if they hate you or not, unless you do.”
“Ugh!” Sue you sound like my mom.”
“Your real mom or your foster mom?”
Chris smiles and shakes her head. “My foster mom, in fact almost everything you’ve said to me these past couple of months, reminds me of her.”
“Then maybe that’s a sign that you should go see her and make amends.”
“Oh Sue, don’t you understand, I’m scared?”
“I know Chris, but for some reason, I can’t get it out of my head that she doesn’t know where you are. Please? Just let me drive you over there tomorrow.”
“I’ll think about.”
“Alright, well I guess I’ll go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night Sue.”
Chris picks her book back up, but finds she can no longer concentrate on what she was reading. “Yes she would like to see mom and dad. It’s been a long time and she really does miss them, but…”
Pulling up in front of the house Chris is fidgeting big time. She looks towards the house, looks down at her hands and then tells Sue in a panicky voice, “I can’t do this.”
Sue reaches across her and opens the door from the inside. “Yes you can, now come on. I’ll be with you every step on the way.”
Standing on the porch Chris looks over at the swing. She can almost picture her and Brandon sitting there. Sue reaches around her and knocks. Barb opens the door. “Oh my God, Chrissy?” she whispers.
Chris looks at her, “Hi mom.”
“Brad! Brad! Come here!”
“I’m sorry, I won’t stay. I didn’t mean to bother you.”
“Chris…” Dad has come up behind mom and nods towards Sue. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?”
“I’m sorry, umm, dad, mom this is my friend Sue. Sue this is my mom and dad, Barb and Brad.”
Sue reaches her hand out to Brad. Barb is speechless as she stares at Chris. Chris doesn’t know whether to laugh, cry or run and she starts clenching and unclenching her hands.
Barb reaches over and takes both of Chris’ hands in her own. “Chrissy stop fidgeting.” Then she puts her arms around Chris and hugs her tightly. “Oh Chris…Where have you been?”
Brad looks at Sue. “Want a cup of coffee?”
Sue smiles at him. “I’d like that.” And she follows him into the house.
“I had to go away mom. I’m so sorry. I wanted to come see you so many times, but I was scared.”
“We didn’t know what had happened to you.” We didn’t know…”
“Shh… I know mom. Sue was the one that talked me into coming here today.”
“Let’s sit down. Chris, are you and her…” Mom crisscrosses her fingers back and forth.
“A couple?” Chris laughs, “Oh no mom, Sue is just a good friend. She’s like the sister I’ve never had. I’ve been staying at her apartment with her the past couple of months, but just moved into my own apartment this morning. Hey, I also have a new job, two actually.”
“What kind of job?”
“Well, for one, I am a health clerk at an elementary school and I am also working at a portrait studio part time as a photographer.”
“Brandon always knew you had a special talent for photography. Do you still have the camera he bought you?” Chris nods and looks down at her hands.
Barb notices that Chris seems more nervous than usual, not only is she talking too much, she’s also turning her ring around and around on her finger. “I see you are still wearing your wedding ring.”
“He is still my husband mom.”
“Come on let’s go in before you dad talks your friend’s ear off.”
Walking in the kitchen Chris walks up behind Sue and whispers. “My mom thought we were a couple.”
“Chris!”
“Sorry mom I couldn’t resist.” Chris says laughing. “Besides, Sue wouldn’t want me for a partner, Phil is much better looking than I am and he has extra equipment.”
Brad pours Barb and Chris a cup of coffee and handing Chris hers, he leans down and kisses her on top of the head before sitting back down at the table. Chris grabs a cookie off the plate that’s sitting on the table and her lips twitch as she looks at dad, “Do you still wear an apron when you cook?”
“Hey, are you laughing at me?”
“Never” And she grins.
“Chris, do you and Sue want to stay for lunch?”
“No, I think we are going to go mom. I want to stop by the cemetery and see Brandon. It’s been awhile and I miss him.”
Barb reaches over and grabs Chris’ hand and Chris sees the tears in her eyes. “You will come back won’t you? I mean, you won’t walk out of here and just disappear again, will you?”
“No…Yes…I mean…” Chris looks down at her hand in Barb’s. “Mom, I will come back and no, I won’t disappear again. I’m so sorry that I did. I missed you and dad so much.”
&n
bsp; Sue looks at Brad, “Do you have a pen and paper handy?” He gets up and gets them for her. Sue writes down her phone number and the address and goes to hand it to Barb.
“Oops, wrong address.” Sue says and scratches out the #2 and replaces it with #3. “I put my apartment number on it. The phone number is mine, because Chris won’t have a phone until next week, but you are more than welcome to call anytime.” And she hands the paper to Barb. Barb puts it in her pocket, gets up, and walks out of the room.
Chris looks over at Brad. “Dad?”
“I don’t know Chris.”
Chris gets up planning to follow Barb into the other room when Barb comes back in and hands Chris an envelope.
“What’s this?”
“Before Brent left for Chicago, he brought that by and said that if I ever saw you again to give it to you.”
Chris folds it in half and stuffs it in her back pocket. “Well we should get going.”
Standing on the porch Barb doesn’t want to let go, as she hugs Chris close to her.
Brad taps Barb on the shoulder. “My turn. Hey how about next weekend you two come over and have lunch with us and…” Brad looks at Sue. “You know how to change oil in a car?”
Sue raises her eyebrows, shakes her head and tells him no.
“And we will teach her how to change the oil.”
Laughing Chris hugs him, “That sounds like a deal to me.”
Brad shakes Sue’s hand again and Barb hugs her and whispers, “Thank you for bringing her back to us.”
They pull up and park. Looking across the lawn Chris sees Brandon’s mom kneeling in front of the grave.
Sue looks over at Chris and sees her fidgeting. “Who is that?”
Continuing to stare out the window, Chris tells her, “That’s his mom.”
“Do you want to come back later?”
“No” Chris whispers, “I knew she would be here. It’s time to make amends and let him be at peace. At least on my end.”
As she goes to get out of the car, Sue puts her hand on Chris’ arm. “Do you want me to walk up with you?”
Chris shakes her head, “No, this is something that I have to do on my own.”
Chris walks up behind Brandon’s mom. “He loved you and he missed you every day. No matter what, you were still his mom.” She doesn’t turn around, but Chris can tell she’s starting to cry, as her shoulders start to shake. “He’d tell me stories about going to the cabin, and holidays, and all the fun things you used to do. That is, until he started high school and things changed. You changed he told me, and he never knew why. But I figured it out and I’m sorry. You can blame me for all that’s happened, but no matter what you do, you can never take away the love we shared. I will never let you do that.”
