by Mia Ford
It was a teenage girl on her way home from a friend’s house. She was texting and glanced down just as the light was changing and never even saw me.
I thought about the last day and sighed. The pretty nurse Robin told me that Liam was worried and wanted me to call him, though my phone didn’t make it through the car accident. It went through the window and shattered on the street, and that was where all my numbers were, which was ridiculous. I would get it replaced in time, but I didn’t want to talk to anyone right now.
I was dealing with the fact that I might not make it back to school next week, possibly changing my entire life plan. I knew that I was going to be sore for some time and was already informed that I was going to see a chiropractor and maybe a physical therapist.
I didn’t have a car nor money to replace mine, and everyone knew that they low balled you when they gave you what they deemed it being worth. I would end up with a piece of junk, not that my old car was much more than that. But, it was mine.
There was movement at the door, and I glanced over to see the pretty blonde nurse smiling as she walked in. She looked a bit like Gwen Stefani, and I took a slow breath as she came over to the bed. “I spoke to your parents. They’re out of the country right now but wish for you to get well soon. They’ll call your room as soon as they can.”
My parents, the world travelers. They wrote for a popular travel magazine and were always gone. I wasn’t surprised that they weren’t coming to see me at all. This was my whole childhood. They might send me some money to help me out if I was lucky.
“Thank you,” I told her gratefully as I looked back at the window.
“How are you feeling?” She asked as she sat down in the chair. “Is the medicine working?”
“Yeah. It takes the edge off,” I told her as I looked seriously at her. “How much did you tell my parents?”
“Sweetie, you’re an adult, so they only know about the accident.” She frowned and leaned back against the thin cushion. “Are you going to tell them anymore?” She’d been with me when the doctor told me everything, checking on me and holding my hand during the harder parts. I felt closer to her than anyone else at this moment, and I sighed.
“There are things that I don’t want to tell anybody,” I admitted as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ears.
“You have to talk to somebody. I haven’t seen a single person visit you yet, nor heard about it. Who can I call for you?” She pressed, and I thought for a moment. I knew Ginger’s number off the top of my head, and I could talk to her. I told the nurse the information, and she jotted it down, which was when I remembered her name.
Gwen. That was ironic.
“I am going to call her and let her know where you are. You need someone to visit, and I have too many other patients to stay in here too long,” she told me regretfully as she glanced at the door. “I am always here if you need me though. Just press the button.”
Gwen left, and I tried to get into the sitcom on TV, though my mind kept wandering. I knew that life was forever changed now and I didn’t have any idea where to go from here.
Liam crossed my mind, and I closed my eyes. There was no way in hell I was going to contact him yet. He wouldn’t want me this way.
A couple of hours had passed before a nervous redhead rushed through the door, making me wake out of my light sleep as she gasped. “Elena!! Why didn’t you call me sooner?”
I blinked, and she sat down beside me. “I was taking all of this in. The nurse asked me who to call since my phone was broken in the…accident.” I swallowed thickly as she reached out to hold my hand. “Everything was. The car, the phone, and my body for a while.” I explained who had hit me and Ginger cursed her as I gave her a soft smile. “I forgive her, Ginger. She must feel awful, and everyone is okay. I’m sure she’ll get in a lot of trouble at home, but I’ll never look at my phone while driving again.” Tears filled my eyes, and she leaned forward instinctively.
“What else is wrong?” Her eyes searched mine as I gave in to the emotions that were building up in me. “You’re going to be okay, aren’t you?”
“I…yes. I am. I just found out more coming here.” I didn’t know how to say it since my mind hadn’t completely accepted the truth yet.
“Tell me, Elena. I can’t stand you crying in front of me and not knowing why? Are you dying or something?” She reached an arm around me as I thought for a moment that might be a better ending to this. I snapped back and laughed bitterly.
“No, nothing like that.” I sighed. “I’m pregnant, Ginger.”
“What?” She asked as she pulled back enough to look at me. “Liam?”
“Who the hell else?” I shot back before I winced. “Sorry. I’m in shock. I am on the pill and didn’t expect this.”
“The pill,” she repeated as understanding crossed her face. “You did it without a condom?” I widened my eyes and looked around the room, thankful that it was empty.
“On accident…the first time. I thought that I had it covered, but it turns out that there was a bad batch that came out.” I leaned back and closed my eyes, already exhausted.
“What did he say?” Ginger asked as I felt her rest her head on my chest.
“I haven’t told him. My phone broke, and I don’t know his number anyway, but I don’t want to tell him. It’s really early in the…you know. I have time to decide what to do.” I heard her inhale sharply as she took my hand.
“I can get his info, Elena. He deserves to know this.” Her voice was soft and chiding as I nodded.
“He doesn’t even know what we are. I don’t know what we are. Working towards something with a baby in the mix is going to be impossible. I can’t tell him.” I resigned myself to that from the moment they told me about the tiny person living in my body that survived the accident. “I am not going to see him anymore.”
“Oh, Elena. I know that this is hard, but you’ve looked happy lately. Are you sure?” Ginger asked. I nodded firmly. This was going to fade away, and I’d figure out my life while he was freed up to do the same. I didn’t know what I was going to do about the baby, but it was all on my shoulders. Not Liam’s. “When do you get to go home?”
“They want to keep me for another night since I live alone. I hit my head on the window pretty hard, and they keep checking on me,” I admitted as she turned her head, probably to look at me. I was tired now, and my eyes were closed, thinking of Liam and the last time that we were together.
I was going to miss him so much, but it was what I had to do.
Ginger stayed with me all day and night, offering to bring me back to her apartment so she could take care of me. She had a spare room, and I honestly wanted the company. Being alone in the small hospital room sounded so depressing. The doctor agreed, since I seemed to be recovering nicely and I dressed in the clothes that I came to the hospital in until we could swing by my place and pick up some more stuff.
I watched her park out front and gazed at my building. Someone was standing in front of it, and I searched around us for cars. This wasn’t a great part of town, to begin with, and I wasn’t willing to approach it in my weakened state.
I saw Liam’s car across the street and groaned. “He’s here, Ginger. What do I do?”
“Talk to him. He’s probably worried sick.” Her voice was stern, and I looked at her.
“Can you get my stuff? I can’t deal with this.” She sighed and leaned forward.
“Fine but if he wants to talk, open the window.” She took my keys in a huff and left the car as I pushed my dark glasses up the bridge of my nose. I was still battered and bruised and just wanted a bath and some sleep at Ginger’s. I wasn’t looking at my door directly, but I could see movement out of the corner of my eyes despite every attempt to ignore everything happening around me. When I was left alone for a moment, I glanced over to see Ginger in the doorway as she shrugged at me. Liam appeared, and she walked inside before he glared at the car, making me turn away.
CHAPTER 15
: Liam
I stared at Ginger’s car, both relieved and pissed off to see Elena huddled in the front seat. I had checked the apartment before letting Ginger in, hating how small and run down it was. I had a brief thought that she could move in with me and we could start a life together. Reality hit me like a fucking train, and I knew that it wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.
I listened as Ginger packed some things into a bag, longing for Elena to come to my place and not Ginger’s. I’d been so damned worried about her and even called in today so I could drive by a few times. I needed to know something…anything. I found my feet moving forward, towards the new Lexus as Elena leaned her head back. She had big glasses over her eyes, but I could see small cuts and bruises on her face that made all my anger drain from my body.
I got to the window and tapped as she stared forward for a moment. She lowered the sparkling glass and looked at me as I leaned forward. “You shouldn’t be here,” Elena told me in a hoarse voice, as I raised an eyebrow.
“Why the fuck didn’t you call me? I’ve been worried sick since you left that night, Elena,” I heard my rage leave my lips as she winced and shuffled her hands in her lap.
“My phone is dead. I need to replace it.” That was her weak excuse? I knew that Robin stopped in and gave her my number the day after the accident.
“You were given my number. Remember?” I hissed as a tear slid down her cheek.
“You couldn’t come to see me anyway. I am sure that Robin told you that I was going to be okay.” Elena was right, but I still wanted to hear from her and have her tell me what was happening.
“No, I couldn’t, and I don’t know how many times I risked everything to do just that. I wanted to see your face and hold your hand. I hated the way we left things that night. I should have let you stay, baby. I’m sorry. You could have been killed.” I leaned in and reached for her shoulder, not wanting to hurt her face or neck. “Are you feeling better? Are you coming back to class soon?”
“I am sore, so I’m not sure. I just want to rest,” Elena told me in a soft voice as I imagined not seeing her sitting in the class anymore. “I have to call and see how that works.”
“Stay with me. I’ll take care of you,” I told Elena as she stared out of the window.
“I am going to stay with Ginger,” Elena said to me as my heart sank. “It’s better, for now, Liam.”
She was so shut off, so cold. I played back what I knew of the accident and couldn’t find a reason she’d be pushing me away. I knew she was in pain, but we’d made some headway over the last few days before the accident. I was giving her what I could. “Did I do something? You seem angry with me.” I waited after I spoke, not sure what she would say.
“I have had a lot of time to think,” Elena told me slowly as she shrank away from my hand. “I don’t want this, Liam. I want to complete school and not worry about what this relationship might do to my life. It wouldn’t last anyway.”
“Why? We haven’t given it a real shot yet,” I argued as she took a slow, deep breath with a pained expression.
“I don’t want to. I want to finish school, graduate and see what happens then. I can’t be in a messy relationship like this and do all of that. You have your job to think about.” I heard her words, but she seemed to be rambling on. “I am okay, Liam. I just need some healing time, but I am going to be fine. You can move on with your life now.”
“I don’t want that. I want you,” I told Elena, reaching for her hand as she froze. I held it against her stomach and gripped her tightly. “I will work harder, Elena. I have never felt like this about a woman before. I don’t want it to end.”
“I do. Just leave me alone.” Elena looked at me, but I couldn’t see her face behind those lenses. I reached forward to pull them off, seeing her bruised face and the tears in her eyes. “It’s over, Liam.” She pushed my hand away in the same movement that she used to jerk away from me and placed the glasses on her face again. I heard footsteps behind us and glanced to the left to see Ginger loading some bags into the trunk. She gave me a helpless shrug as I ran a hand through my hair and stared at Elena.
There was something else going on here, but I didn’t know what. I couldn’t force Elena to tell me. I could only do what she asked, and I stepped back from the car. I knew better than to fight her on this.
Ginger told me little as well, but I could see on her face that something was wrong. She got into the car and started the engine as Elena rolled the window up. I watched them drive away and felt a pain in my heart that was stronger than anything before this. Was I falling for her? I told myself that I wouldn’t, but the more time that we spent together, the more I knew I wanted Elena in my life. I was fucked and now alone.
As I walked to my car, I realized that Elena might be dropping the semester due to her accident. We could pursue something slowly in that case, but she didn’t even want to try. I slid inside of the seat, starting the engine to head home. I had hoped that Elena would come with me so I could take care of her and just spend some time with her. I knew that she wasn’t calling me, but I never expected her to end things with us.
Marie called when I was walking to my door, and I relayed what went down at Elena’s apartment. “Did something happen that was more serious than you originally thought?” Marie asked me as I walked to the back deck and sat down with a cold beer.
“Not that I remember. It was a little sad when Elena left that night since we knew we had to hold back, but we didn’t end anything. Something happened from the accident. I just don’t know what.” I popped the lid and took a sip. “I should have made her stay. We would’ve had dinner as planned and everything would be different.”
“Maybe and maybe not. You don’t know what is going on,” Marie told me as I stared out over the trees.
“The thing about it is she might not be coming back to class. I didn’t get details of her injuries from Elena, but she was pretty bruised up and said that she was sore.” I shook my head. “It might have worked out that way.”
“Give her time, Liam. She might just need some space. To me, it seemed like you two were good together,” Marie told me before bringing up dinner the following weekend. I agreed since it was tradition and I needed to hold onto something right now.
I drank a few too many beers and woke up in the morning on the couch. My head was throbbing, and I groaned as I pushed myself up and went to the bathroom. I glanced at the messy bed that I hadn’t slept in for the last two nights and damn it if it didn’t smell like Elena in here. I had class today at noon and showered before pulling on some worn jeans and a clean button up from the closet. I looked a little worse for wear, but I knew Economics better than anything else so I could teach it in my sleep.
I sipped strong coffee as I drove to the campus, finding a close parking space. I got out and slipped my messenger bag over my shoulder as I looked around at the students clustered together under a rare sunny sky. I didn’t see Elena, but I didn’t expect to. She was probably in bed at Ginger’s on some heavy pain meds, not thinking about school at all.
Was she thinking about me as I was her?
I straightened as I entered the class and jumped right into the lecture, my voice steady as I spoke. I looked tired and felt every bit of that, but I had a great schedule and would be out of here after some office time.
I knew that I was a little slow today, but kept going with the lecture, trying not to subject the students to the mood that I was in. I breathed a sigh of relief when I was finished, and they started packing their bags. I knew the girls were looking at me as I straightened my papers, staring down so I wouldn’t see the looks on their faces. The hungry gazes hadn’t stopped since I was seeing Elena. In fact, it seemed like the attention grew and I didn’t want any temptation right now. I was feeling vulnerable, but deep down I knew that no woman would feel like Elena did.
The room emptied, and I gathered my things to go to the office. I met up with Sarah a couple times a week to go over stuff, and
she was waiting there as expected. She looked at me with a concerned expression for a moment as I walked forward to unlock the door. “Are you okay?”
“Tired. Late night,” I told her as I led the way inside of the small room, the memories of Elena hitting me with an intensity that almost made me stop breathing. “Jesus.” I realized that I wasn’t alone and set my bag on the desk before sitting down. “So, I owe you notes from the lecture to prepare worksheets. I made you some copies, and they’re in my bag.”
I found the stack and handed them to her as Sarah raised an eyebrow at the pile. It was sloppy since I was distracted this weekend and got to it later than normal. “Are you sure that you’re all right?” She asked again as I nodded. I couldn’t tell her what was going on. I couldn’t tell anyone, but Marie and I didn’t want to dump this on her every time an emotion hit me.
“It was a long weekend, Sarah. That’s all,” I assured her as she quickly flipped through the papers before straightening them. She made her way back out to the campus so she could catch a class, and I ran a hand through my hair. I was a fucking mess today, and I needed some coffee or a long nap.
CHAPTER 16: Elena
I rested on the couch as a talk show played through the apartment, thinking about school. I was still very sore and had a lot of trouble just moving in general, so I was still resting. I’d called the school, and they told me that they made exceptions for illness and things like accidents, so I could take a break and come back next semester if I chose to. I couldn’t miss too many classes and hope to have a chance at catching up, and the idea of walking around alone made me ache deep inside.
Or was it because I was missing Liam?
I hated saying those words to him at my apartment. I wanted him to bring me back to his place just to be in his arms, but I’d never be able to hold back about the baby that way. I needed time away from him. I needed to think. Ginger kept asking me if I was sure about my decision and I assured her that I was.
