by Mia Ford
I knew that I would start showing soon. I had enough curves that the bump wasn’t noticeable yet, but I worried about when it was. Ginger knew about it, obviously and I’d confessed to my parents once I told Ginger that I wanted to keep the baby.
It was everything that I thought it would be. They were disappointed and figured I was making a mistake. How was I supposed to raise a baby on my own and try to finish school? It was impossible to them, but I knew that I could make it work. I was working steadily for clients, and Ginger charged me nothing than some money for the bills in rent, so I was putting money away. There was a third room here that would be great for a baby at first, at least until I moved into something of my own. I needed Ginger right now, and she told me that I wasn’t going anywhere.
I thought about Liam a lot once I decided to keep the baby. I wondered how he was doing with the blonde girl and if he was in love. I knew that I was when I walked away from him and that killed me sometimes. I just didn’t want him to be with me out of obligation. I wasn’t doing so bad on my own.
I went outside when I heard the honk of a horn, seeing Ginger in her car. We were going to lunch, and I walked down the stairs and slid into the car as I smiled at her. “Hey. How’s your day?”
“Good. Classes and all,” she replied, still keeping talk of school vague around me. It was silly since it was my decision to take a break. I frowned at her as she drove away, seeing something else in her face.
“Ginger, you can talk about school,” I reminded her as she nibbled on her lip.
“It’s not just that. I saw Liam with a woman today eating lunch. They were smiling and happy, and I knew then that you let him go.” I sighed as she spoke, hearing the disappointment in her voice. “He would be here for you.”
She hadn’t let the night at the pizza place go. I told her that he left with a blonde and she asked me what else he was supposed to do. I just froze in front of him, offering him nothing. She still wanted me to tell him about the baby, particularly since I was keeping it.
“We’ve been through this. It’s better this way,” I reminded her, even as the pain of him being with a woman chipped at my heart. ‘Was she blonde?”
“Brunette,” Ginger told me with a curious look on her face. “What blonde are you referring to?”
I realized that I never told her too much about Liam leaving the restaurant with the woman. I explained now, and she shot me a look at the stoplight that sent daggers my way. “Now he’s been with at least two women, I guess. Good for him.”
“Jesus, Elena. He’s just a man, and he won’t wait forever,” she said before going silent. “He’s asked me about you a few times when I’ve passed him on campus.”
“What?” I asked, surprised by this confession. “What did you tell him?”
“Just that you’re better from the accident and living with me. He remembered the dorm, so I explained the whole roommate scenario and why I ended up in an apartment to begin with.” Ginger hated sharing a dorm, especially with a girl that had guys over all the time. The scarf signal just didn’t work for her, and she spoke to her parents, getting right into the apartment. “He misses you, Elena. I see it in his eyes when he talks to me. You’re not teacher-student anymore, so why not speak to him?”
“I don’t think that telling him he’s going to be a dad in five months is anything that he wants to hear,” I reminded her as she gave me a long look. “Besides, he’s moved on according to you. I don’t want to be that girl that messes with his life that way. I had my chance to tell him and didn’t.” It was a talk we’d had many times over, and I wasn’t looking forward to it again, apart from there being a new girl.
That hurt.
“He could be a dad and with someone else. It happens all of the time,” Ginger told me as I rolled my eyes. “I almost said it to him, Elena. I think that he deserves to know and make his own choice.”
I remained quiet as we pulled up to my favorite cafe. I wasn’t sure if I was hungry or nauseous when we left the car and found our seat, ordering a fruit juice to calm my stomach. “Do you regret not telling him?” Ginger asked as I looked at her for a moment. “Just a little?”
“Maybe a little. I can’t tell you how many times I have dreamed of things being different with us,” I mused, smiling for a moment. “Why did this have to happen with the one guy that was off limits?”
“He was off limits. He isn’t necessarily that way now.” I laughed and rubbed my face with my hand.
“That’s way too much to explain. People can do the math.” She shrugged, and we looked down at the menu to decide what to get. The conversation switched over to my new clients and what I was working on before we ordered sandwiches. She was talking about the baby and what she thought it was as I smiled, feeling deep inside that I was going to have a daughter. I hoped that she would have her daddy’s eyes and maybe my hair. I wanted her to look like her father because he was the most handsome man that I’d ever seen.
We split a piece of chocolate cake for dessert since I couldn’t get enough of it right now.
We were walking towards the car as I cursed how full I was and I looked across the street to see Liam leaving the used bookstore. He had a dark-haired girl with him, and they were looking at the cover of a book in his hand as they talked intimately and I pressed my lips together. “Is that her?” I asked as Ginger followed my gaze.
“Yeah, it is.” I took her in and noticed that she was probably a few years older than I was. She looked smart and not like some of the sorority girls that I saw staring at him in class, though she hopefully wasn’t a student. I was sure that he learned a lesson from us. She was still pretty, though. I hoped that she made him happy. “Tell him,” Ginger said as she wrapped her arms around my waist.
As if on cue, Liam turned his head to see me watching him as a frown crossed his face. I knew that he couldn’t see the beginnings of my baby bump and was relieved, but I hated the way he still made me feel inside.
Pregnancy hormones when you were single sucked. I was getting myself off more than ever and finding fascinating forms of porn on the internet. I missed Liam and wasn’t ready for another man to take his place, but eventually, I knew that it would happen. “I can’t. He needs to be happy, Gin.”
“He would be with you,” she assured me as I shook my head and forced a weak smile before he turned to keep walking. We got into the car and did some shopping as I played his face back through my mind. I was getting emotional in this pregnancy and thought about him far too much for my own good.
Ginger and I carried groceries into the apartment as she talked about a guy that she was interested in. I missed the days of just being a student and not worrying about much else, making me smile ruefully. I sure messed that all up, didn’t I?
We stayed up late watching movies and eating popcorn before I fell asleep on the couch. Ginger covered me with a blanket as usual and left me there, waking me up to the smell of coffee. I wasn’t drinking it, but she still did. I stuck to tea when I really needed it. This was a regular routine for us now since I couldn’t stay awake to save my life at night.
CHAPTER 19: Liam
I finished the semester never happier since I kept staring at Elena’s empty desk all the time. I’d been teaching this class for a long time but never gotten so attached to a student in my life. I longed for the future that I thought I planned with Elena but things changed, and I was with Nora now.
Nora was a new teacher at the campus, and we met over lunch one day. She was twenty-seven and kind, but more than that she was safe. I was missing Elena something awful and finally wanted someone in my life. We started dating slowly, and I was still a bit spooked, but she understood. We spent more time talking than anything else, though I’d given into sleeping with her a couple of months into the relationship. I claimed that an ex did a number on me but left the details vague. Nora was happy with anything that I had to offer, and it was casual thus far.
She hadn’t even met Marie.
I checked in with Ginger a couple of times when we crossed paths, and she told me that Elena was doing better. I knew that she was living with Ginger now, and happy that she gave up the studio. I could never put my finger on it, but there was something in Ginger’s eyes that told me she was hiding something. I even asked her before the semester ended, though she brushed me off.
I just decided to spend time with Nora and put the past behind me. It had been a few months now, and we were over, weren’t we? She was probably getting set to go back to school and working a lot like I knew her to do. Elena was a motivated girl, and she’d do just fine in life, even if it weren't spent with me. I swore to never date a student again after all the paranoia and pain that had been involved.
I grilled a lot outside when the weather allowed it, and Nora was great at helping in the kitchen. She was fixing a salad in the kitchen while I finished steaks in the cool Winter air, looking forward to the fire inside. It was a week after school ended for the semester and I was trying to be relaxed about it. I finished the meat and covered the grill before walking inside to find her tossing everything together. There were times that I wish I’d have picked a blonde so I wouldn’t be so reminded of Elena when I saw her. Nora was a sweet, beautiful girl and I knew that she cared for me a lot. “Hey. All done?”
“Yep. What do you have for me in here?” I asked as she smiled and carried a salad to the table.
“Salad and I also roasted some Brussel sprouts. I set the table, too.” Nora smiled at me as she walked forward to give me a soft kiss. “I like having you all to myself.”
“It is nice to have some free time,” I agreed as I plated the steaks at the table to avoid the kiss. I hated that I did that since it came from such a good place in Nora’s heart. Not seeing anyone that could tell me about Elena was bothering me, and I thought to the trip we planned to California to hang out at the coast soon to try and distract myself. I looked over to see Nora bringing my beer and a glass of wine towards us and sat down as I looked over the other dishes.
“Here,” she handed me the beer and sat in the chair closest to me before taking a sip of wine. We both settled in, and I cut into my pink steak as she grimaced. “That’s disgusting, you know.”
“It’s flavor,” I teased her as she loaded her plate generously with salad and sprouts. Nora ate very clean and took good care of herself in the gym, something we did together. I enjoyed it, and she pushed me to the new activity since I ran here and there before that. I would always be a carnivore, and the extra miles on the treadmill were worth it.
Silence fell around us as we ate and I tried not to think about it. It was okay for a couple not to always want to talk, wasn’t it? We did plenty of that, and it was fine. I took a large swallow of my beer and washed down the meat. “Are you bored having time off?” Her voice was amused as I glanced into her light topaz eyes that were filled with warmth. It was warmth that I wasn’t ready for and I shrugged.
“I like keeping busy,” I replied, knowing damn well that we had time off to do whatever we wanted and money to travel. I was settling in with the idea of going to California for a bit, but a big trip seemed unthinkable to me. I wasn’t ready where I detected she clearly was. I wondered if this was unfair to do to Nora, reminding myself that Elena didn’t want me. I deserved someone nice in my life, and Nora fit the bill, even if I did miss another brunette at some of the most awkward of times. I worked through it, and she had no idea.
“Mom is having a brunch tomorrow. Come with me? She wants to meet you,” Nora told me as I imagined meeting her family for a terrifying moment.
“I told Brandon I’d hang out with him. There’s a game on, and it’s been a while,” I lied, having no plans. I might go watch the game at a bar now and make some of it the truth, and I watched her face fall for a moment. “Sorry. I didn’t know.” Did I? I didn’t remember her mentioning it, but my mind was fuzzy a lot these days.
“It’s fine. Next time,” Nora responded as I smiled and nodded, spearing some salad with her fork. “She did a number on you, didn’t she?”
“Huh?” I asked as I looked blankly at her.
“Ex,” Nora said quietly as I took a breath.
“It would seem so, which is why I told you about that in the first place. I didn’t want any misunderstandings, Nora.” My voice was gentle as I reminded her of this and she nodded with a small smile on her face.
“I know you did,” her pretty face showed her discomfort as I looked her over. “I just…I like being with you. I have a great time when you’re not pulling away from me.”
“Fuck,” I muttered as I dropped my fork and ran my hand over my forehead and into my hair. I hated the pressure that I saw in her eyes, but when she talked about us, I wanted to crawl out of my own skin. I wanted to scream at her that I’d fallen in love with the last girl even though she was so fucking wrong for me. I wanted to tell her that I still smelled Elena in my house sometimes despite her citrus body spray and imagined her in my arms. It was maybe three months now, not three years.
Sadly, I was with Elena for a very short time and fell for her all too quickly. I wasn’t going to make that mistake again.
“I’m sorry, Liam. I can’t stop talking sometimes.” She shrugged and sipped her wine as she looked out of the window. Nora was beautiful, but there were times I couldn’t stop thinking about Elena’s green eyes and graceful smile. Should I let her go find someone that would appreciate her? Give it another few months and determine where we were at? I knew that I would likely feel the way that I do now, but you never know.
“I understand. I’m here with you, Nora. Let’s just enjoy this.” I tried to give her an assured smile, and she merely nodded. We finished dinner and washed dishes together, reminding yet again of fucking Elena, and I made some popcorn to go with the movie we were going to watch. Nora liked staying around the house as much as I did but along with that came the sex that she would want later.
I made sure that I had a few beers before she nestled against me and pressed her lips to mine. God damn it. If I weren't so consumed with Elena, Nora would be the perfect woman for me. I forced my mind to the present as her tongue slipped slowly against mine and her full breasts pressed against me. The kiss deepened as she moved closer, climbing into my lap as her hand wrapped around my neck. I knew that she was turned on as she tilted her head to drive her tongue deeper into my mouth, rocking against me as she whimpered. Her dress slid up to her thighs easily with the movement, and her pussy was right against my shorts as she slid her feet into the couch behind me.
I pulled back and sucked on her ear before kissing down her neck with my eyes closed. She was a willing and wet woman, and I was going to take advantage of that fact as longing filled me, and I lifted her dress further to cup her ass tightly as she moaned.
Nora groaned as she moved for me to rip the sundress over her head, finding her clothed in pale yellow lace underneath. I reached for the clasp of her bra and opened it, baring her to me as I reached forward and cupped her breasts.
I heard Elena moan in my mind, focusing on Nora as she pulled me close to her for an awkward kiss. I pulled on her hard nipples before pinching them, making her gasp as she jerked in my lap. Nora liked it a little rough, and she pulled away and shoved her breasts towards my face, leaning her head back. “Suck them. Use your teeth.” I heard the husky tone to her voice and followed her orders, hearing her cry out as teeth dragged against skin.
I pushed her back against the cushion of the couch and leaned over her to keep teasing her with my mouth. I was too far gone to stop anything right now as she arched her back. Nora cried out my name as she tugged at my t-shirt futilely, easing her pussy against my hardened cock. “Fuck,” I hissed as I pulled away and stood to rip off my clothes right there, reaching for my wallet on the table to find my stash of condoms. I’d been carrying them since sleeping with Nora to make it work for wherever we were at the time. I tugged two out and dropped them on the table before I moved down to her neck so suck her
skin into her mouth. I tasted citrus body spray and longed for the spicy apple scent that Elena used to wear. I still smelled it sometimes as if she was haunting my house.
Fuck that. Elena didn’t want to be here, and Nora did. I moved my mouth back down to take a nipple into my mouth before sliding a hand into her damp lace underwear. God, she was wet, and she moaned as I slid a finger inside of her. Nora rocked against me until she screamed my name with her release, making me take my hand away to remove all her clothes. I turned my body so that my cock was easing into her mouth and my tongue was stroking her where she was sweet and wet.
Nora sucked me hungrily into her throat as I parted her folds with my fingers to tongue her deeper. Jesus. Nora was responsive, and I pushed my hips to get deeper inside of her warm, wet mouth. I knew that if I came now like I wanted to, she’d still get a good, hard fucking later. My body seemed to accept that it was over with Elena so now my heart needed to catch up already. She came for the second time just after I’d swollen inside of her, shooting into her throat as she gushed all over my mouth.
I took a breath and moved off her, dropping to a sitting position as I reached for my beer. I was glad that my couch was leather and easy to clean after that, even if it took a few blankets to stay warm in the colder months sometimes. Nora slumped beside me once she could move and drink her wine eagerly.
We watched some more of a movie and then went to my bedroom. I’d enjoyed another beer or two by now, and she was a little more buzzed from her wine. We were on vacation so why the hell not? I had condoms back there as well, so I pulled one out and pushed her to her knees after we made out for a while. She complied, offering her ass to me as I smacked it, making her jump, and cry out. I got to business after that, sheathing myself and thrusting inside of her with one deep movement. “Oh, fuck.” It was a pussy, and it felt good. I gripped her hip with one hand and kept fucking Nora as she let out an assortment of erotic sounds.
