by Sadie Moss
Damn it.
I clear my throat, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. “Look, would I be here? All summer? If I didn’t… care?”
That answer is about as vague as I can make it, but the hitch in my voice on the last word gives away more than I meant to.
Maddy’s eyes soften, and she looks at me for a long while before speaking. “I thought so. I’m glad. And it’s not such a bad thing, you know. Needing someone.” Her brows crease, and pain flashes in her eyes. “I know it can be scary. After we lost Mom, it was easy to think I shouldn’t ever care about anyone again, that it would just be too hard to risk losing anyone else. And I’m so scared for Elliot right now… I hate it. It’s awful. But we can’t just close ourselves off. That’s no way to live, even if it feels like it keeps us safe. And the joy that can come with caring about someone—I think it’s worth it. Don’t you?”
I look back down at the remains of the ice cream. Damn, Elliot’s little sister is pretty fucking insightful. Maybe she’s right. I…
Jesus, I don’t know.
Where’s that fucking whiskey?
She must be able to see the sudden tension in my shoulders, because Maddy lets it drop. She takes one more bite of ice cream and slips off the stool. Then she pats my arm a little awkwardly. “Thanks for talking. I hope you can get some sleep. Nights are the worst, aren’t they?”
“Yeah.” I let out a breath. “They really fucking are. You too, kid. Get some rest if you can.”
She gives me a small smile and then heads out of the room, disappearing into the darkness. I clean everything up and take another swig of whiskey, thinking maybe that’ll help knock me out, but I’m still too damn wired to go back to my room just yet.
Instead, my feet take me to Elliot’s room.
She looks peaceful and calm as she lies on the mattress. And even though she’s fucking beautiful, I’ve come to hate the way she looks while she sleeps, just because it means she still hasn’t woken up.
She’s still not okay.
We don’t have any idea who did this to her. There were so many charms and enchanted objects being activated during the chaos that day, we weren’t able to track down where the spell that hit her originated.
Maybe it’s just as well we don’t know, because if I ever find out who did this to her—I’m gonna wring the fucker’s neck.
I sink into the chair next to her and take her hand. Nobody’s around to see, so what’s the harm, right?
It’s not such a bad thing. Needing someone.
My jaw clenches as I remember Maddy’s words. Yeah, kid, but you don’t know my family. They’d devour Elliot alive.
I just mean to stay with the princess for a minute. Just long enough to make the crushing ache in my chest ease a little. But between one blink and the next—I’m asleep.
Fuck’s sake.
When I wake up, it’s light out. The sunlight creeping in through the windows still has the gray tinge of dawn to it though, so it must be pretty early. The others will be up soon, but I think I’m the first one awake.
Goddamn. I sit up and stretch. I’ve got a bad crick in my neck from sleeping in the chair all night like an idiot.
Elliot’s hand fell from mine during the night. I pick it up and squeeze it gently. She’s still asleep, just like she has been for weeks, and fear grips me at the realization that the latest potion we tracked down isn’t working.
I kiss each of her knuckles softly. I can’t help myself. And nobody’s around to see me. Nobody has to know I let myself do it, or that my hand shakes a little as I bring hers to my lips.
Fuck, I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Why won’t she just open her goddamn eyes?
“I’d give just about anything for you to wake up, Princess,” I mumble. Then I snort softly. “Think a kiss on the lips would do it? Like in a fairy tale?”
No response. Of course.
“Yeah, you’re right. I’d probably have to be a damn prince for it to do any good, and I think we both know that shoe doesn’t fit.” My jaw clenches, and I swallow hard. “But you’d better fucking believe I’d do it in a second if I thought it would help. I’d do just about any damn thing to bring you back.”
I kiss her knuckles again, looking down at our joined hands. Her fingers look so small and delicate next to mine, and it makes something inside me hurt like hell. I should’ve done more to protect her. I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive myself for letting this happen.
“Your sister says it’s not so bad to need someone, “ I whisper hoarsely. “But it scares the shit out of me to think that… I need you.”
A sharp intake of breath meets my ears.
I freeze.
My heart seizes in my chest as hope, elation, and shock flood through me in a rush.
When I look up, Elliot’s brown gaze meets mine.
Chapter 3
Elliot
My eyelids peel open slowly. It feels like they’re glued together, like they’ve been stuck that way for far too long. The room around me is too… too bright. I squint, blink, and squint some more as the world slowly comes into focus.
I’m lying in a soft bed, in a room I don’t recognize, and sitting next to me, holding my hand… is Dmitri.
I gotta admit, out of all the people I might expect to find watching me sleep while tenderly holding my hand, the dark-haired mage sits squarely at the bottom of the list. Maddy and Asher would tie for first, then Cam, and then maybe Roman if nobody else was around to see us, since we’re still professor and student and are keeping our relationship on the down-low.
But… Dmitri?
Huh. Maybe I woke up in a parallel universe.
But no, this is real. Dmitri—and it has to be the real one, not even one of his doubles or anything—looks like he’s close to crying with relief. His eyes shine wetly, and his thumb is rubbing soft circles over my knuckles. And he hasn’t blinked or looked away from me for even a second since my eyes first opened.
Something hangs in the air, and I don’t know what to say. He’s staring at me like he can’t believe I’m actually awake, and I want to ask how long I’ve been out. My memory’s kind of fuzzy, but the last thing I remember is blasting that bigoted asshole Johnson off the stage with my sonic boom. Then his shielding spell came down, and something else hit me, and it hurt so much that the pain dragged me under.
I want to ask what happened after that, what’s been happening since then. But my mouth won’t form the words.
My brain can’t seem to process anything except Dmitri. His handsome, angular features. His dark, dark eyes, more full of emotion than I’ve ever seen them before. The look on his face, beautiful and heartbreaking all at once.
My hand tightens reflexively, my fingers curling around his, and he grips mine back so hard it’s almost painful—a good kind of pain.
His throat works as he swallows, and the tears glistening in his eyes spill over, cutting twin tracks down his cheeks.
I blink, my heart beating harder in my chest. I’ve never seen this man cry, and I never, ever expected to see him do it over me.
“Dmitri,” I whisper, and the sound of my voice saying his name seems to physically affect him in some way. His whole body tenses, and his breath stops.
Then he leans down and kisses me.
His lips meet mine, a little wet from his tears, and even though it’s a chaste, closed-lip kiss, I feel it through every inch of my body. I’m still dazed, my brain still fuzzy around the edges, but I know I’ll never forget anything about this kiss.
I draw in a breath through my nose, relishing the sweet honey and clove scent that’s all Dmitri. My lips tremble a little as I press them against his, and when he finally draws back, my head lifts off the pillow, reaching for him, trying to maintain the connection between us.
He’s breathing hard as he looks down at me, and he tugs his full bottom lip between his teeth like he can still taste me on it.
“Princess…” he rasps. “I—”
&nb
sp; Footsteps and voices sound outside, and we both jump. Dmitri quickly pulls away, setting my hand down and standing up, swiping the back of his forearm across his cheeks just as the others come in.
Cam, Asher, and Roman.
For a moment, the three of them stare; they clearly weren’t expecting me to actually be awake. Then Cam and Asher streak toward me, and Dmitri has to jump out of the way as Cam throws himself on the bed next to me and plants a huge kiss on my cheek.
I chuckle, letting Asher help me sit up, and then he’s softly kissing my forehead, and Cam’s demanding to know when this happened, and Asher’s kissing my other cheek, and they’re clearly doing it all to make me laugh. Roman rolls his eyes and tells them not to damage me, but his lips tilt up as he speaks.
When Cam and Asher move out of the way, Roman takes my chin in his hand, tilting my face up, his cobalt eyes flashing with concern.
God, I missed him. I missed all of them. How long have I been out of it?
“Are you okay?” he asks me in that gravelly voice of his.
I nod. I feel perfectly fine. Groggy, like I just woke up from a nice long nap, but nothing hurts or aches. The only reason I think anything might be wrong is how everyone else is behaving.
Roman gives a small sigh, like he’s exhausted and relieved all at once, and then he leans in and kisses me softly on the lips.
That knocks me for six.
I mean—okay, we’ve all talked in one capacity or another about the idea of the four of them sharing me. Cam and Asher were upfront about that from the start, and Roman told me he’d be open to it a semester into our sleeping together. Dmitri hasn’t said it in so many words—but then again, he also hasn’t even said he likes me, although I know he’s attracted to me. But he was there for the sharing conversation with Asher and Cam, even if he was being all broody in the corner at the time.
Dmitri and Roman cornered me in Roman’s classroom that one time during the Trials, which was—holy God, still is—one of the hottest things I’ve ever experienced. And Cam, Asher, and I got to third base in an empty classroom together during the Inter-academy Ball, but this… this feels different. The three of them just kissed me in quick succession, in front of each other, and it was casual, easy, with no explanations needed or given.
Could this thing between us all actually work? Could we really do this?
“Ellie!”
My heart jumps. I know who that is—only one person in the world calls me Ellie. I turn and see Maddy bound through the doorway, grinning, her blue eyes sparkling.
“Hey, Mads.” I open my arms for her, and Roman moves to clear the way as she launches herself at me.
I hug her tightly. Maddy clings to me a little, and for a second, it’s like she’s fourteen all over again and I’m eighteen, and Mom’s just died, leaving us with only each other to depend on.
“Did I scare you?” I whisper. “I’m sorry, Mads. I’m so sorry.”
I promised my sister I’d always be there for her. Dad might’ve skipped out on us, and Mom might’ve died too soon, but I’m not ever going to do either. That’s what I promised her, and now I’ve gotten myself into danger and scared her. Almost broken my promise, maybe.
“It’s okay.” She pulls back, beaming down at me. I can still see the fear behind her eyes, but it’s eclipsed by so much joy at the moment that her smile almost blinds me. “You’re back now.”
“How long was I out?”
There’s a long beat of silence as everyone exchanges glances, and the nervous feeling in my chest expands, making my heart beat faster.
“It’s August,” Roman says at last.
My stomach flips. What?
“We moved you here,” Cam explains, still sitting on the bed next to me, like he can’t stand to move too far away. “To Roman’s house. We couldn’t keep you on campus while it was pretty much closed down for the summer, so we’ve all been here.”
“All summer?”
“I went home to visit my family a few times.” Asher grimaces almost sheepishly.
“Good! I… That’s good. I’m glad you did.” Asher’s close with his family; I don’t want him missing out on seeing them because of me.
Holy crap, have I really been out for almost three months? What kind of damn spell hit me?
I rub my eyes, trying to process all the new information I’ve just received. “So… you five were here all summer. All of you. Hanging out together. And I was asleep?”
Everyone nods.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”
I had four hot guys who are apparently all getting along and willing to bang me, and my baby sister all here for an entire summer and I slept? Through all of it?
Somewhere in the universe, someone is laughing at me.
And that someone is a dickhead.
“You must be starving,” Asher says. He’s always good at sensing and diffusing my bad moods, even when his magic dampening cuff is on and he can’t read my mind. “Let’s get you something to eat.”
“Yes, please.” Some of my incensed anger fades at the mention of food, and I sit up more, pushing the covers off. “If I’ve really been lying here all summer, I don’t want to spend another second in this damn bed.”
The guys all hover anxiously around me as I find my feet, but when it becomes clear I’m not about to keel over, they let me walk to the bathroom without an escort. Thank goodness. This whole thing is weird enough as it is, and I appreciate that they’re trying to give me a little bit of normalcy.
I take a quick shower and change into some clothes—Maddy brought all my stuff from school—then head downstairs to find that one of the guys went a little overboard with cooking breakfast. The kitchen island is laden down with pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, the works.
“I’m not going to be able to eat all of this,” I warn, although I fully intend to try.
“I’m finally cooking for someone who will appreciate it,” Roman replies, giving me a look that makes my insides melt. Huh. I did not take him for the cooking type. “Unlike these four.”
There’s some good-natured teasing as the others all assure him they love his cooking, and I stare around the kitchen in shock as they load up their plates. Since I’m not moving, Cam fixes one for me, piling it high with some of everything.
“Do you remember anything?” Dmitri asks gruffly, glancing up at me from beneath his eyelashes as he stabs a pancake with a fork, transferring it to his plate.
I have no idea what to do about him. No idea what that moment between us meant, what that kiss meant, or how to talk about it and get it back. He seems to be off-kilter, and I’m not used to that from Dmitri. He always keeps his emotions locked down pretty tight.
“Um, yeah.” I nod, trailing after them into the dining room. Cam sets down my plate at a spot between him and Asher, and I tuck into the food with gusto, covering my mouth with my hand as I blatantly talk around a huge bite. “Provost Johnson decided to go full psycho and try to kill me. I defended myself, knocked him on his ass like the little cock he is, and then something hit me and I blacked out. Now I’m here.”
“Do you remember before that?”
“The whole Trials thing and getting sabotaged? Hoo, yeah. Did any of you thank Kendal for her help, by the way?”
She may be part of a group of nasty girls who like to give me a hard time, but she’s actually not too bad herself. I think it’s peer pressure that keeps her with them. In any case, she helped the guys keep the sabotaging mages at bay so I could compete in the final challenge of the Trials fair and square. I owe her.
“No gaps in your memory, then. We did wonder about that,” Roman murmurs, his shoulders relaxing a little. It hasn’t escaped my notice that all four of the guys, and Maddy too, keep shooting me worried glances as I eat.
“Do you have any clue what caused all of this?” I ask, glancing around the table.
Roman shakes his head. Dmitri looks pissed as shit, while Cam and Maddy seem worried. Asher looks
pensive and a little sad.
“We don’t know what made you fall asleep for so long,” Cam tells me, squeezing my leg under the table. “Spells were flying around like crazy that day. But we got the bastards who started this shit, so that’s what matters.”
“The Trials were being live-streamed,” Maddy says. “We saw the whole thing in my dorm. I watched your final challenge and everything, and Johnson going nuts at the award ceremony. And then the fight that broke out—all of it was on the live-stream. The whole magical world saw you be a badass.”
She sounds really proud of me, and I grin, feeling my face heat up. I want my sister to be proud of me—that means more to me than almost anything else in the world.
“The Circuit’s been looking into things,” Roman says. He’s watching me eat as if to make sure I don’t leave a single bite of food on my plate. Not that I would. It’s fucking delicious. “Johnson’s… not the only one of his kind.”
That stops me. I set down my fork for a second, glancing around the table. “What?”
“There’s this whole movement starting up,” Asher explains with a grimace. “The Circuit’s intercepted propaganda and messages meant to radicalize people, to turn them against Unpredictables.”
“It’s clever,” Roman acknowledges, although it sounds like it physically pains him to admit it. “Whoever this is behind it, a person or a group, they know what they’re doing.”
“Lucky for us, most of the magical community isn’t completely nuts,” Cam throws in. “Not yet, anyway. Most people are taking our side.”
“People are uncomfortable around Unpredictables.” Dmitri’s voice is quiet and taut, and he stares down at his plate. “But they don’t all want us to be treated like animals. A little casual prejudice is fine though, right?”
There’s a world of pain in his voice, and I want to reach out and help him, comfort him somehow, but I don’t know how—and I’m not sure he’d welcome it.
“So… do they know who’s behind all of this?” I ask instead.
