Roderick made me feel safe, but in a “you won’t be thirty and unmarried” kind of way. I wouldn’t find even an eighth of the joy I felt when I was with my sister with him, and this was something that I’d already been aware of. However, it wasn’t until tonight that it began to dawn on me that a life without it…wasn’t really the life that I wanted.
Chapter Three
* * *
Ethan
I was sitting across from the beautiful, crème de menthe-eyed investment mogul Caitlin Warsaw whose breasts usually made my mouth water just thinking about them, but today I felt like I was sucking the Sahara through a straw. It had only been about twenty-four hours since my evening with Alexandra, but she’d claimed all of my senses in that span of time.
When I closed my eyes, I saw skin that I wanted to be wrapped up in and felt her against the pads of my fingertips, both inside and out. Her taste lingered on my tongue, and the sound of her moans had kept me up for hours the night before as I’d contemplated calling her—like a fucking crazy person—even though I knew that she was probably laying right next to Roderick. I’d even actually had the nerve to wonder if Roderick had tried to touch her and if he did, whether or not she’d refused him.
Then, there was her smell. Women will probably never know how bat-shit crazy their scent can drive a man, but I avoided taking a shower for a couple of hours after getting home because I wanted it around for a little while longer.
“Are you okay, Ethan? You seem like you’re in a bad mood.”
Caitlin’s eyes flickered a bit darker with concern as her gaze roamed over my face.
“I’m fine,” I snorted out as gently as I possibly could, given my frustration.
“Ok. Well as I was saying…”
The rest of her words died after that.
To get my thoughts off Alexandra, I surveyed the banquet hall. Large round tables packed with guests filled out the immense, polished space. A chamber orchestra in the back corner played variations of classical pieces. Chairs covered in white fabric with golden bows, a grand staircase, and flittering crystal chandeliers gave the atmosphere an upscale glow.
The stage at the front of the room now stood empty. Nearly two hours earlier, different board members, community activists, political figures, and local residents gave speeches and presentations about how they were going to contribute to the ongoing success of the community initiative. Unfortunately, the activists and residents were the only ones I’d ever seen at any event that didn’t have an attached price tag.
A few tables down from me, the mayor was polishing off a roasted turkey breast dinner and his wife sat next to him in what I was certain was polite, yet baseless conversation with the governor’s wife. I almost wanted to laugh at the irony of all the major figures that had convened at the two-thousand dollar-per-plate event in order to raise money for my Lower Ninth-Ward project, but hadn’t thought to invite any the resident stakeholders from the community board until I’d mentioned it. Then, I’d also had to remind them that those guests were honorary, therefore they would not be paying for their plates.
I was probably one of the few people in the room, besides the actual residents, who truly knew anything about the Lower Ninth. My time spent growing up there with my grandfather was the reason I’d decided to sit on the community board in the first place. The older I got, the more I heard politicians complain about the health of the people that lived there without ever stopping to look at what was missing: fresh food, up-to-date books in schools, and technology for children, just to name a few. As a physician, I took over responsibility for the health branch of the board and brought people that I’d known for ages with me to lead the rest. It was the first time progressive movement had been seen in over ten years.
My eyes continued to roam over the guests at the governor’s table until they landed on General James Miller and his wife, Janice. Alexandra’s parents. Next to him, Alexandra’s equally gorgeous sister Gia held hands with her husband Elliott who owned the elite fitness center that I was currently a member of. Gia’s hair was piled on her head in a bun that perfectly displayed her curls and slew of hair colors, and it made me wonder why Alexandra hadn’t opted to do the same. I was already getting hard thinking about curls framing her face while she rode me.
The sounds of her moans began to echo off of my brain.
“Ethan.” Caitlin was talking again. “Are you sure that you’re okay? You seem distracted.”
I smiled and she visibly calmed.
“I worked late last night so I’m a little tired,” I reassured her. “I’ve been working on this pro —”
As though I could innately sense her, I looked up just as Alexandra walked into the room. Gone was the black suit and monotone shirts that she usually wore. Tonight, she was absolutely stunning in a strapless, red evening gown that emphasized her breasts and waist. A sparkling diamond necklace dangled from her neck and she wore her hair in loose curls that hung down to the center of her back. It dawned on me then that I really didn’t give a damn how she wore her hair. She could have shaved her head bald and I’d still be at full attention within seconds of seeing her.
Roderick was next to her with his hand at the small of her back, blinding everyone in the room with his smile. And, while I know that we’ve already established that this woman makes me feel like I’m slowly going insane, I literally wanted to walk over and possessively replace his hand with mine.
“Is that Alexandra Miller?” Caitlin asked, pointing across the room. She whistled through her teeth. “Even I’d do her with the way she’s looking tonight.”
I glanced at her. “Don’t tempt me.”
She grinned and lifted her glass of champagne to her lips.
My gaze went back to Alexandra as though she’d hidden visual magnets beneath the dress. She scanned the room and I assumed that she was looking for her family, but then she waved to Gia before searching the room again.
I didn’t know how I knew it, but I was certain that she was looking for me.
I stood, grabbing her attention. When our gazes locked, her expression changed. The positions that we’d contorted into and the places where I’d put my mouth and hands were shared between us on an invisible projection screen. I was on the verge of saluting my entire table if I didn’t put a harness on my budding hunger, but I didn’t want to turn away from the vision in front of me. However, when she very discreetly squeezed her thighs together as though she needed to soothe an aching clit, I immediately sat.
Our exchange was severed by Roderick using his hand to steer her over to the Miller family table. I turned my attention back to my own table and zoned in on whatever topic they were discussing until my erection, although reluctantly, went away.
A few moments later, I looked up to find Evelyn standing at my table staring at me with a grin. She glanced over at the orchestra and raised her brows indicating that she wanted to dance, so I stood, took her elbow, and escorted her to the dance floor. She stepped close to me and motioned for me to lean down. Then, she whispered, “Don’t worry. I will get her into your arms.”
-----
Alexandra
“Honey, did you notice how the governor’s wife looked at you?” Roderick asked, motioning to a server for more champagne. “I told you that your dress showed too much cleavage. Those things are not appropriate when I’m around people who I’ll be later asking to donate to my campaign.”
This was the fourth conversation that we’d had about my dress being “improper,” but I’d refused to change. I’d already known that Ethan would be attending the fundraiser and tonight, I wanted to wear red and feel sexy. I wanted loose curls, red lipstick, and barely-there underwear. With the way Roderick carried on, you would swear that half of my areola was popping out of my bustier.
“I’m sorry, honey. It won’t happen again,” I conceded.
He pressed his lips to my temple. “Good girl.”
I carried my focus over to Eli and Gia: the lovebirds. My sister
loved her husband so much that, for their most recent wedding anniversary, she gave him a black-and-white photo collage that she’d been secretly compiling over the years. She’d named it “Every Moment I Fell in Love With You,” and had images ranging from him half-asleep in an exercise physiology textbook from their college years, to him holding Kai her first night out of the NICU.
Kai, born a preemie, had endured more difficulties in her first few months on Earth than most people would probably see in their lifetime. She’d undergone so many different surgeries before she was even six weeks old that doctors had warned Gia and Eli that the chances of her not making it greatly outweighed her chances of survival. Yet, they never gave up hope that the little girl born twelve weeks early and a mere pound-and-a-half heavy, had been born a fighter.
It was a time that had tested their marriage so greatly that I’d been afraid that they wouldn’t pull through. But, I’d been dead wrong. The ordeal had only strengthened their indestructible marriage and Kai eventually went home a week earlier than the doctors had proposed. Grandma Evelyn had also said that she hadn’t been worried because Eli and Gia were, as you know, rooted.
Eli, like Kai, had beautiful almond-brown skin and the glittering sapphire eyes that they also shared with his grandmother and twin sister. Those same eyes were now gazing at Gia as though not another living soul was in the room. Roderick had never looked at me like that in the entire time we were together, including when we first met, but I’d never noticed until that moment.
“Excuse me, you two,” my mother said, snapping at Eli and Gia. “We are in public so please act like it. Look at Alexandra and Roderick. Gia, why can’t you be more like your sister?”
Her eyes flickered over to me and she smiled. I wanted to throw up, very violently, all over the intricately decorated tabletop. I often wished that I could let them know how much I wanted to be more like Gia and shuck the perception of perfection that they held of me. Just once, I wished that I could care more about how I saw myself rather than how other people regarded me.
“We’re married, Mother,” Gia answered, and I closed my eyes because I knew that something characteristically “Gia” was going to follow.
“Married people want to leave boring, pretentious functions so that they can go home and screw each other’s brains out.”
My father’s head turned as he became aware of the conversation. A scathing look of disapproval was directed towards Gia which she brushed off with graceful ease. I would have already been cowering underneath the table. Even the thought of being a disappointment to my father was enough to throw my stomach into knots.
My decision not to pursue a PhD after getting my Masters had resulted in an Iliad-length tale of disappointment from my parents, but it was quickly curbed when I’d lied and told them that it was because I’d met Roderick and wanted to help him focus on his campaign. In actuality, the passion just hadn’t been there anymore. Academic stress, coupled with the social stress of having to uphold a certain image whether in public or private, threw me into a good old-fashioned burnout. Yet, the minute I’d mentioned giving up a personal endeavor in favor of the career of my significant other…I’d never before seen my father so pleased.
“How are you and your sister so different?” Roderick asked, leaning close to my ear. He wasn’t expecting a response as the question was really code for “I’m so glad that you’re not like your sister.”
Right on time, a server whisked by to refill my champagne glass. I’d planned to drink just enough to numbly flit about the room, smiling and thanking attendees who supported the community board’s mission, but with the way the night was headed, I felt like I would eventually have to go in search of harder liquor.
“Grandma looks so happy,” Gia said, pointing with her chin. I looked over the rim of my glass to find our grandmother, this time decked out in a blush-colored dress and long white gloves, giggling in Ethan’s close embrace. Ethan dipped her gently and when he brought her back up, her hand went to her chest as she reddened. I remembered his step-grandfather comment and smiled.
“Alle,” she suddenly called, waving at me. “Come on over and say hello to Dr. Stewart.”
Both my father and Roderick looked at me.
“Is that the same Dr. Stewart that sits on the board?” Roderick asked.
“Yes,” I answered, not at all surprised that Roderick hadn’t recognized the man that I’d introduced him to on three separate occasions.
Roderick tapped his chin. “Hmm.”
“I don’t feel comfortable asking him to donate money to your campaign, Rick,” I acknowledged. My breaths suddenly became shallow as Ethan stood watching, waiting for me to walk over.
“But this ninth-ward thing is his brainchild, Alexandra. If I could get on this project, do you know what that could do for my image?”
“Yes, a photo of you holding a shovel at the groundbreaking ceremony,” my father added. “From what I understand, they are developing a plot of land over there somewhere to start a fresh foods market for those people.”
Roderick’s eyes ignited. “What better way to show that I’m truly for the people?”
“Okay, Roderick,” I gave in, simply to end the conversation between him and my father. “I’ll talk to him and see what I can do.”
He grinned. “Good girl.”
Suddenly sick, I rose from my seat and walked over to where Ethan and Grandma Evelyn stood. Ethan’s eyes never left mine even when I was right in front of them, and his irises stood so clear that they almost looked colorless.
I held out my hand. “Dr. Stewart. Hello.”
He glanced down at it, shook his head, and snaked his hand around my waist. I initially began to resist him even though I wanted his arm around me more than anything, but relaxed when he leaned down near my cheek and blew along the shell of my ear.
“Hi Alexandra.”
“I’ll leave you two,” Grandma Evelyn said, winking before she walked to the table. Roderick was watching us, but his focus was nowhere near the arm Ethan had around my waist.
“May I have this dance?” Ethan asked, pulling me closer.
I joined our hands. “Yes.”
Our gazes connected as we floated around the room and, as cliché as this might sound, I felt like Cinderella. Although my dress wasn’t as cumbersome, and a wrong step in my strappy heels wasn’t going to leave me tweezing glass splinters from the soles of my feet, I was definitely in the arms of someone as dashing as a fairy-tale prince.
“We haven’t really talked since yesterday,” he said, his gaze moving but somehow remaining still. “Are you afraid of me now?”
He was searching my eyes, but heaven only knew what he was looking for. My body’s reaction should have told him everything that he needed to know.
“No,” I immediately answered.
“Oh. Then, how do you feel about what happened?”
He turned me around so that my back was facing his midsection, our arms outstretched to the side. The soft music wafting from the orchestra had corralled us into a waltz, which I’d learned when I was only ten years old, and Ethan’s feet moved flawlessly in step with mine. I began to wonder again about his background, and if my parents could have accepted him as easily as they’d accepted Roderick.
After a few beats, I turned so that we were face to face again, and he pulled me tight into his chest. Its hardness reminded me of how my breasts had pressed against him as he’d held me against the wall of my office, every inch of his length moving skillfully inside me.
I replied as honestly as I could. “Confused.”
Suddenly, he stopped.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, doing a poor job of masking my disappointment.
He grabbed my hand. “Come with me.”
I let him whisk me away from the ballroom floor towards the kitchen doors in the back without even tossing a glance at my table. I felt a mixture of guilt and a rush of exhilaration as I pictured a hidden kitchen crevice, our lips joined, an
d my legs around his waist. Instead, the back room was mostly empty with the exception of a few staffers. He whispered something to one, a dark-haired girl with a pixie-cut and light dusting of freckles across her nose, then she smiled and disappeared. As we waited for her to return, he pulled me backwards into his arms and kissed the top of my head. My stomach quivered at the fact that, at any given moment, Roderick could walk through the doors and see us holding each other like long-time lovers.
I prepared to step away from him just as the girl returned, and he led me in the direction that she’d come from to a small square table. On top of the table in a slim vase was a single red rose and the lights had been dimmed. A plate sat in the middle of the table with a slice of chocolate cake on top.
“One of the first things you told me when we first met was that you were a sucker for chocolate cake,” he said, pulling out my chair. “Do you like it?”
I smiled. “I love it, Ethan. No one’s ever done anything like this for me before.”
He sat down next to me. “Damn shame.”
He picked up the fork, cut a chunk of cake, and then brought the fork up to my lips. I slipped the soft, airy chocolate into my mouth and he studied my mouth’s movements as though mesmerized.
“Sexy,” he said, smiling.
“So, I’m guessing that you don’t feel uncomfortable about what happened between us?” I asked, my nipples hardening as I watched the same fork go into his mouth.
He seemed surprised. “No.”
“Are you sorry that it happened?”
He used his finger to brush a piece of chocolate away from my lip and then sucked the finger into his mouth. “I’m not.”
I cleared my throat in an attempt to burn away the lie that was about to spill forth. “But you know that it can’t happen again, Ethan. Rick and I have been together for a while and, it’s not right. Plus, I don’t want to be just another sexual outlet for you or any man for that matter.”
Fated: An Alpha Male Romance Page 4
