I need to think, and I can’t do that in his presence. “I’m not going to get any sleep tonight. Too much is going on; my mind won’t shut down. Call me when you find Ed.”
I should respond to his ‘I love you’ declaration. The words rise to my lips, instinctive and unbidden. I love you too. But I hold them back. I don’t know if it’s the right thing to say. Not yet. Not without having a talk about Fred Jefferson’s phone message.
Is that a flash of disappointment I see in his eyes? If so, it’s fleeting. He nods slightly. “Okay,” he says. “I’ll call you.”
I step out. The elevator doors slide shut. I stay where I am for a long time, before gathering myself and heading to my room. I wish I knew what to do.
I’ve just finished kicking off my shoes and removing my makeup when Piper texts me again. Gabby!!!! I am dying here.
Piper. Of course, that’s who I need to talk to. My friend’s a romantic, but she’s also got a deeply practical streak. She’ll tell me if I’m overreacting.
I call her, and she picks up on the first ring. “Do I need to congratulate you or console you?”
I settle myself on the bed and lean back against the headboard. “A little of both.”
“I love it when you’re being cryptic.”
“Hang on, I’m getting there.” I absently examine the polish on my nails. The electric blue color is chipping already, and I just applied three coats over the weekend. Zero stars. Do not recommend. “Where should I start? Okay, I got back to Atlantic City. I’d just gotten out of the shower when there was a knock at the door. It was Dominic and Carter.”
“And?” I hear clattering in the background. It’s a little after nine. Piper must be closing up her kitchen.
“They invited me to dinner. Not in Dominic’s suite, but in one of the restaurants downstairs.” Wait, I shouldn’t gloss over the details; Piper is a chef. “At Dalian. The chef there is debuting a fifteen-course summer tasting menu.”
“What’d you eat?” she asks automatically, and then chuckles ruefully. “Never mind, that’s not important. They asked you out, and I’m hoping you said yes?”
“They asked me out,” I confirm. “And more. They told me they wanted to date me. Be in a relationship with me.”
Piper squeals. “That’s wonderful. Gabby, I’m so happy.”
“There’s a ‘but.’”
“Oh dear. That sounds ominous. What is it?”
“We were at dinner, and they’d both stepped away to take phone calls.”
“Tell me you’re not grumbling about that, Gabby, because I will call you a hypocrite. You’re on your phone all the time.”
“That’s because of work,” I defend myself. “And no, that’s not what I’m grumbling about.” I swallow hard. “Okay, I’m going to tell you something, but it’s going to make you judge me.” The words come out in a rush. “The money I was saving to start my own business? I lost it all in a poker game.”
“What?”
“I was trying to win big, and instead, I lost it all.” What must Piper think of me? Here she is, struggling to keep her business afloat, and I’m gambling away thousands of dollars without a second thought. “It was stupid and reckless, and I hate myself for it.”
“That’s why you’re staying on at your company even though you hate it. Oh, Gabby. I’m sorry. That sucks.”
Not a word of reproach. Gratitude surges through me at her ready acceptance. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again—I don’t deserve my friends and family.
I blink back the sudden rush of tears. “Anyway, Dominic and Carter know I want to start my own company. More than once, Dominic has offered to help, and I’ve told him again and again that I don’t want him to interfere.”
“What did he do?”
“One of his friends called me this afternoon. He wants me to teach his daughter how to use social media responsibly.”
“Oookay. I’m not seeing the problem.”
“He interfered. Piper, I’m starting to fall in love with them. Maybe I’ve already fallen in love with them. But what kind of a relationship can we hope to build if they don’t respect me?” I sigh heavily. “Feelings are the worst.”
“Do you want to know what I think?”
“You’re going to tell me that love conquers all.”
“Don’t be ridiculous; that’s a cliché. Dominic ignored your wishes. There’s only one thing to do. Break things off with them.”
That’s not what I thought she’d say at all. My mouth falls open. “What?”
“I don’t believe in curses,” Piper continues. “But I’m starting to think that you might be right. You are cursed. You have terrible luck with men. Even when they look like they’re good guys, they’re just waiting to let you down. Stan, George, Dominic, Carter. All the same. The moment you develop feelings for them, they fuck up.”
“That’s not true,” I retort, stung by her words. “Dominic and Carter are nothing like the others. They didn’t cheat on me. They’re good guys. They’re kind and decent and trustworthy. I don’t know why Dominic told his friend about me, but I’m not going to jump to concl—” Realization dawns belatedly. “Hang on. You’re baiting me.”
She laughs. “Oh yes. And you fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. Reverse psychology for the win.”
“Piper, you’re being very smug right now.”
She laughs again. “For the record,” she says, when her giggles have died down. “I think you’re being irrational about not accepting help. Sure, you only got your job because of your parents’ connections, but you’re keeping your job because of how good you are. If you were hopeless, you would have been fired by now. Instead, your boss keeps throwing more and more responsibility at you. You’re managing Nicky Z’s PR. You’re coming up with a marketing plan for the Los Angeles soccer team.”
“San Francisco,” I interrupt. “Not Los Angeles.”
“Whatever. The point is, a helping hand doesn’t guarantee success, Gabby. Your achievements are your own. Do you think that when Aunt Vera left me a restaurant in her will, I turned it down? No, of course not. Running a restaurant is my dream. I’ll do anything to make it come true.”
“Should I just ignore what he did, then?”
“The effects of my reverse psychology are fading, I see.” Her voice softens. “Gabby, you’ve had some terrible experiences with men, and they’ve made you gun-shy. You don’t want to get hurt again. I get that. But like you said yourself, Carter and Dominic aren’t George.”
Someone knocks at the door. “Hang on,” I tell Piper. “That might be Dominic.”
It’s not Dominic. It’s a white-clad waiter who wheels a cart into my room.
I open the bamboo steamer to discover a dozen fish and leek dumplings.
Piper is right. Carter and Dominic aren’t George. And I might be gun-shy after my past experiences, but I’m not stupid. I’m not going to run away from them.
Some things are worth fighting for.
32
Dominic
Fifteen minutes later, I have my answer, and it’s as bad as I imagined.
Ed Wagner is in the hospital. Two unidentified men jumped him this afternoon. Just like Zach Hewitt. Ed has two black eyes, two broken ribs, a collapsed lung, and a broken wrist. He’d have had worse but for a handful of bystanders, who had intervened and stopped the assault.
The assailants got away before the cops got on the scene, but I don’t need to see them to know they’re Mitchell’s thugs.
I did this. This is my fault. I stopped Mitchell’s loan from going through. I took the battle to him, and I backed him into a corner. Randy Paulson warned me that cornered men made foolish decisions, but I’d been too focused on winning, too wrapped up in my own hubris to think through the consequences of my actions.
Zach might never walk again. Ed—I shudder to think of what would have happened to Ed if his beating had continued as planned.
How can I ever look Noah in the eye again? I got hi
s father hurt. How can I face Carter?
I clench my eyes shut for a long pause, but when I open them, nothing has changed. The consequences of my actions are still right there.
Gabby told me to call her when I found Ed. I need to do that. I have to tell Carter. Then, I need to go to the hospital. Ed doesn’t have any money, and I doubt that Denton Mitchell offers his employees health insurance. I have to make sure he’s receiving the best possible care. After everything, It’s the least I can do.
Gabby insists on accompanying me to the hospital. She’s subdued on the drive over, and so am I. When we’re just outside the front door, she puts her hand on my arm. “Ed doesn’t know we know each other,” she says. “If I go in there with you, he’ll figure out that Carter sent me to spy on him.”
I left a message for Carter, but his phone had gone straight to voicemail. Anxiety claws through my insides. If something were to happen to Noah… “Enough lies.” My voice is harsh with nerves. Nerves, panic, fear, guilt—a veritable gamut of emotions churns inside me. “I need you with me. Please.”
Her expression softens. She squeezes my arm in a wordless gesture of support. “I’m here, Dominic. I’m not going anywhere.”
A sleepy-looking volunteer directs us to the right floor. We make our way to the ICU. The room Ed is in holds four beds, but only one is occupied.
I take my first look at Ed, and my breath catches. He looks terrible. He’s got stitches on his forehead. Over his right eye. On his left cheek. Down his left arm. His body looks broken and battered. There’s an oxygen mask on his face, and an IV drips a clear liquid into a vein in his right arm.
Gabby is frozen in the doorway, her eyes wide and shocked. A nurse brushes past her and takes a reading of some kind. “Five minutes only,” she warns me. “He needs to rest.”
Ed’s eyes are shut. His breathing sounds tortured. I start to turn, not wanting to disturb him. “Is he okay?” I ask the nurse. I’m not family; I’m not even supposed to be here. Edith Willick, the hospital administrator, is bending all kinds of rules for me.
“No, he’s not okay,” the nurse replies with exaggerated patience. “He is in the ICU. He’s had emergency surgery to treat his collapsed lung.” She takes a look at Gabriella’s face and relents. “The first few hours after surgery are the trickiest. If he’s fine tonight…”
If he makes it through the night, he’ll live. If not…
My mind shies away from that thought.
Gabby puts her arm around me, and I turn into her embrace, hugging her tight. I did this. I miscalculated so badly. So recklessly. Zach Hewitt might not walk again. Ed might not survive the night. My throat is tight, and my chest is heavy.
Ed can’t die. He just can’t. He has to make it.
“You should get some rest,” I tell Gabby in the waiting room. Under the harsh fluorescent lighting, I can see the tiredness in her eyes. “You don’t need to stay.”
I can’t leave. I need to stay, to keep vigil. It’s stupid and irrational, but I cannot go back to my apartment tonight, not when Ed is fighting for his life. In the morning, I’ll need to visit Zach Hewitt, who is in the same hospital. Gloria has texted me his room number.
“I’m okay.”
My phone beeps before I can protest. It’s Carter. “I have Noah,” he says. “He’s okay. I’m taking him to the Grand River. Okay if we crash at your place?”
“Of course.” I look up at Gabby. “Carter is on his way back with Noah.”
She exhales in a long, shuddering breath. “Oh, thank heavens. I didn’t even want to think—”
Me neither. Things are bad enough as they are.
“How is Ed?” Carter asks.
“He had emergency surgery on his lung. If he makes it through the night, he’ll probably recover. If not…”
“Shit.” Carter swears under his breath. “Okay. I’ll get Noah to bed, find him a sitter, and head there.”
“It’s okay. Stay with him. I’ve got this. I’ll stay here.”
“Thanks, Dominic.”
What is he thanking me for? I caused this.
I hang up. “You don’t have to stay,” I tell Gabby again.
“That’s okay. I don’t mind.” She crosses the room, making a beeline for the vending machine in the corner and reads out the options. “Coffee. Espresso. Cafe Latte. Hot Chocolate. Hmm. How bad do you think the coffee will be?”
“Dreadful.” I join her at the vending machine, fishing some money out of my wallet. “I’m going to drink some anyway. What do you want?”
“I’ll stick to the cocoa, thanks.”
I get her drink, and then mine. We settle in the uncomfortable plastic chairs in a corner of the waiting room.
And we wait.
33
Carter
The next few days pass in a blur. Our lives take on a strange cadence. Work happens in the margins, but everything orients around the hospital.
Dominic is carrying around a crushing sense of guilt, but it pales when compared to mine. He thinks he’s responsible for what happened to Ed?
No. The true blame lies with me.
I did this. When Ed came back into town, I could have let bygones be bygones. I could have let go of the past. Instead, I’d allowed myself to wallow in my anger. I’d used my contacts to make sure Ed couldn’t get a job at any of the casinos. I’d buried him in legal proceedings. I’d done everything in my power to ruin his life. To make him go away.
I drove him into Denton Mitchell’s clutches. Dominic didn’t cause this. I did.
Noah knows his dad is in the hospital; I had no choice other than to tell him. He’s insisted on visiting every day, and it helps. But Ed’s recovery isn’t smooth. He’s better on Wednesday morning, but Wednesday afternoon, he has a terrifying setback and has to be intubated. It isn’t until Sunday morning that he’s finally transferred out of the ICU.
I go to see him in his hospital room. He’s sitting up in bed, reading something on his phone. He looks up when I come in. “It’s you,” he says flatly.
“Yeah.” The hostile tone isn’t a surprise; it’s exactly what I deserve. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m in the fucking hospital, Carter.” His voice rises, and pain washes over his face. He sinks back. “How do you think I feel?”
“Sorry. That was a dumb question.” There’s a chair in the room. I move the teddy bear that Noah brought Ed out of the way and sit down.
“Did you do it?” Ed’s voice is quiet.
“Do what?”
“Arrange the beating.” His lips twist in a sour smile. “I saw Dominic with the girl. Gabriella. She was one of your spies, right? Was she supposed to catch me drinking?”
I stare at him. “You think I sent goons to beat you up?”
“You want me gone.”
I swallow hard. “I wanted you gone.” Fuck me, is this how far he thinks I would go? Then again, can I really blame him? “Look, I’m not going to pretend I don’t want to punch you in the face. But if it comes down to it, I want the satisfaction of doing it myself. I’m not going to send intermediaries.”
He considers that, and then nods. “Do you know who it was?”
“Denton Mitchell.”
“No way,” he says at once. “He wouldn’t do that. Mitchell was the only person in this fucking town that would help me.”
“It was him,” I insist. “He’s trying to buy the Grand River, but Dominic refuses to sell. His thugs didn’t just target you. They also beat up one of the Grand River’s dealers.”
“This doesn’t make any sense. I have no love for Dominic, nor him for me. Why would Mitchell think either of you would care if I got hurt?”
Apologize, you idiot. Tell him you were wrong. Tell him you’re going to do whatever it takes to make amends.
The words freeze on my tongue. Habit, I guess. “Noah cares. By extension, so do I.” I change the topic. “Your doctor thinks you can be discharged by Wednesday. Noah’s been staying with me, but if you think y
ou’re capable of taking care of him…”
His expression hardens. “Yes, Carter. He’s my son. I’ll take him.”
“Okay. I’m going to arrange for a team of people guarding your house. Just in case Mitchell decides to send his goons back to finish the job.”
He doesn’t like it, but he gives me a grudging nod. “Thank you.”
I turn to leave. His voice stops me. “One more thing, Carter.” I turn around and look at him. His expression is pained and raw. “When Chloe died, it wasn’t just your world that got upended. Everywhere I turned, there were memories of her. Every time I looked at Noah, I saw his mother. I fell apart. I’m not proud of it.”
“I know—”
He holds up his hand for silence. “The thing is, I didn’t abandon Noah. I left him with someone who would bring stability into his life. With someone who would love him and take care of him. With someone who would be a better parent than I was capable of being in that moment. I left him with you.”
I’ve never felt like a bigger asshole in my life. “I acted like a dick. There’s no excuse. I’m sorry.”
My parents are dead, as are Ed’s parents. Chloe is dead. The two of us are the only family Noah has. “We both love Noah,” I continue. “I’ve wallowed for too long. It’s time to leave the past behind. Can you forgive me? Can we start over?”
He nods slightly. “Chloe would have wanted us to get along.”
She would have. “What if we stuck with mediation?” I ask. “This time, I’ll cooperate. No sniping. No passive-aggressive jabs.”
“Can you resist?” He stares at me for a long time, and then his eyes slide to the soft toy next to me. “Noah said he dragged you to five different stores to find the perfect bear.”
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