But I can’t do any of those things because she doesn’t know the real identity of the two men she’s been chatting with on the DefCon forums since Thanksgiving.
And if she finds out what we did and why, we will lose her.
“You’re preoccupied today,” my grandmother says, as she ladles another helping of her delicious beef stew into my bowl. “What’s the matter? Something wrong at work?”
I shake my head. “You’re going to love this,” I tell her. “I’m thinking about a woman.”
She sets her spoon down with a clatter. “Will wonders never cease,” she exclaims. “Who is this magical woman who has managed to distract you from your company?”
“Her name’s Miki. You’ll like her.”
“So, what’s the problem?” she asks. “You don’t look happy.”
“It’s complicated,” I sigh. “Oliver and I met her under false pretenses. If we come clean…” My voice trails off helplessly. “She’ll never talk to me again.”
“You care about this woman.” My grandmother’s sentence is a statement, not a question.
“Yeah, I really like her. She’s special.”
My grandmother frowns at me. “Then you have to tell her the truth, Finn. Love can’t be built on lies. If this relationship is important to you, you have to be honest.”
“I could lose her.” My throat tightens at the thought of never seeing Miki again, at never talking to her online. I can’t imagine my life without her in it.
“You could,” she agrees. “That’s a chance you’ll have to take. You know it’s the right thing to do.”
We’re both done with our meals. I carry the saucepan back into the kitchen, waving off her attempts to stop me. “I can do dishes,” I tell her. “You made dinner. That’s more than enough.”
She snorts. “I know what you’re doing,” she says. “You’re worrying about me. Stop it. I’m old, not decrepit.”
“And I’m capable of washing a plate,” I retort. She’s putting a brave face on it, but my grandmother isn’t walking too well. Her knee has been bothering her, but she’s too stubborn to use a cane to get around. “Go sit down.”
“There’s ice-cream in the freezer if you want dessert.”
“None for me.” I smile at my grandmother, who never met a flavor of ice-cream she didn’t like. “Let me load the dishwasher, and I’ll bring you a bowl.”
We settle in the living room once I’m done, and the conversation turns to her new neighbors. “Nice young couple,” she says. “I took them a pie.”
“Of course you did,” I say in exasperation. “What’s next? You’re going to cook them dinner?”
“It’s good to be neighborly,” she chides. “Do you even know the people that live in your building?”
Not really. “I see a guy with a little poodle on the elevator every morning,” I tell her. “The dog’s called Rex.”
“Well, that’s a start. How’s Oliver? I haven’t seen him for a couple of weeks.”
I remember last night’s debacle. “Claudia is giving him trouble. She showed up with her new boyfriend to the bar Friday night. Then she proceeded to stick her tongue down his throat.”
She heaves a sigh. “I never liked that woman,” she says. Her spoon scrapes against the side of her bowl, and I get up and refill it. She smiles at me in thanks and continues her train of thought. “They’ve been divorced for almost a year. Isn’t it time she left him alone?”
“It’s Claudia. It’s about money. This time, she wants Imperium stock.”
Her lip tightens, but she doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t need to; I know exactly how she feels about Oliver’s ex-wife.
28
Miki
Neither Finn nor Oliver is around when I get into work Monday morning. “They’re going to be off-site all day,” Janine tells me. “Finn’s in a huddle with the Block team, and Oliver’s in back-to-back meetings.” She eyes me curiously, and no doubt she wants to ask me about Friday night, but she’s far too discreet to gossip about her bosses.
Much better than me, who slept with them.
“Okay.” I ignore my stab of disappointment. Finn and Oliver promised me things wouldn’t get weird at work, and I hope they’re right. Of course, that doesn’t matter now. My days at Imperium are numbered anyway.
Neither of them are around, and that gives me a perfect opportunity to see if I can access Ben’s information. It’s been hard to investigate my brother-in-law’s finances with Finn and Oliver working in the same office as me. I’m not going to get a second chance.
After eight hours of non-stop effort, I’m about ready to give up. Finn is the chief architect of Imperium’s defenses, and he appears to have thought of everything. I try every trick in the book to get access to Ben’s account, and I come up short every single time.
A weird sense of déjà vu grips me. I’m not vain; I’m good at what I do. I’ve only been stymied this badly once before. Last summer, Wendy was the divorce attorney for a woman whose husband was hiding his money. That system was really tightly secured as well.
There’s a knock at the door, and Janine sticks in her head. “Miki,” she scolds me, “did you remember to eat lunch?”
Lunch. I knew I was forgetting something.
She shakes her head at me. “You’re terrible,” she says. “Listen, I need to take off. Are you at a stopping point?”
I still don’t have after-hours access to the Imperium offices. I get to my feet, every muscle in my body aching in protest. “Yeah. I’m ready to leave.”
“Oh, I forgot to ask this morning. How was the apartment search?”
I didn’t look at apartments over the weekend; there didn’t seem any point. I’m not going to stay employed at Imperium for long, and I need to save every dollar to pay my divorce lawyer. “Not too great,” I mutter, unwilling to get into long explanations.
After all, Janine’s loyalties are clear. She’s been friendly so far, but if she finds out why I’m really at Imperium, I’m sure her attitude will change dramatically.
This Monday, my girlfriends are meeting in a bar in Hell’s Kitchen. I make my way there after work. Piper, Gabby, and Bailey are already there, half-empty drinks in front of them.
“I’m not late, am I?” I ask, sliding into the booth next to Bailey.
Piper shakes her head. “We’re early.”
Katie and Wendy show up a couple of minutes after me, and the three of us order drinks. “So, what’s going on with everyone?” Wendy asks, looking at her club soda with disgust. “This baby cannot show up soon enough.”
“We can stop meeting in bars, if you’d like,” Piper offers.
Wendy shakes her head. “Don’t mind my grumbling. The pregnancy is making me cranky. I’m a whale, and I need to pee all the time.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re barely showing.”
She laughs. “Yes, Asher used the phrase ‘drama queen’ yesterday.”
Katie’s eyes widen. “He did? Asher’s a brave man. Or stupid.”
“A bit of both,” Wendy replies with a grin. “It slipped out by mistake. Don’t worry, he groveled.” She turns to me. “How’s the new job?”
“And the hot bosses?” Bailey interjects slyly. “Still want to sleep with them?”
Last week, I happened to mention that I thought Oliver and Finn were hot. I’m never going to hear the end of it. And if I tell them about Friday night…
Gabby’s face twists into a frown. “Please tell me you’re not going to sleep with your bosses,” she says, her voice clipped. “Because that would be really dumb.”
Piper raises an eyebrow. “Umm, Gabby? Miki’s an adult. Besides,” she says, her cheeks going pink, “It’s not always a terrible idea. I slept with my bosses, and it worked out okay.”
“Technically, they weren’t your bosses,” Wendy points out. “They were investors in your restaurant. I slept with my partners too, and obviously, it went well.” She pats her belly with a grin. “Still, I’m afraid
that Gabby’s right. The situations aren’t the same. If things go wrong, you’ll lose your job. It’s not worth the risk. Don't dip your pen in the company ink.”
“Or whatever the female equivalent of that saying is,” Katie adds.
Confession time. “Too late,” I mutter, keeping my eyes fixed on my drink. “I slept with them Friday night.”
“Both of them?” Piper squeaks. “You’re joking, right?”
“Hey,” I say indignantly. I point to Bailey, Piper, Gabby, and Wendy in turn. “Ménage,” I say. “Ménage, ménage, and ménage. Are you that shocked that I was curious?”
Katie chuckles. “I’ve never been interested,” she says. “Then again, Adam is the perfect guy.”
Gabby looks thunderous. “How did this happen?” she demands. “And where?”
I exchange curious looks with Wendy. Gabby’s tone is too heated, too angry. I’m not sure what’s going on with her. Her employers are short-staffed, and Gabby’s working in Manhattan for the next month. Perhaps she misses Carter and Dominic?
“Don’t worry; it was just a one night stand,” I reply, my cheeks flushing under their scrutiny. “I don’t know why you’re so shocked. You ladies threw me an intervention and told me to get a life. So I did.”
“No kidding,” Bailey laughs. She lifts her glass and clinks it against mine. “Let’s toast to Miki and good sex.” She takes a sip of her beer. “It was good, right?”
“Pretty spectacular, and that’s all I’m going to say about it.”
The gathering breaks up at nine. Gabby lingers at the table as everyone else gets up to leave. “Miki, will you stick around for a second?”
I heave a sigh. “Listen,” I tell her once the others are out of earshot. “I appreciate you watching out for me. But I am an adult. You have to trust that I can make my own decisions.”
She looks acutely unhappy. “My company does a lot of crisis management PR,” she says. “If a celebrity is caught driving drunk, he calls us. Beating his wife in an elevator? We’re on speed dial. I don’t see a great slice of humanity.”
“Okay.” I’m sure there’s a point here, but I have no idea what it is.
Gabby takes a deep breath. “I met a new client today. He was into BDSM, and he’d taken photos of his ex-wife without her consent. She’s furious and is demanding compensation.” She crumples her paper napkin into a ball, then straightens it out and methodically starts shredding it. Her eyes don’t meet mine, and a chill travels down my spine.
“And you’re telling me this because…”
“Because the guy taking the photos was Oliver Prescott,” she says in a rush. “Miki, I don’t have anything against BDSM, and I don’t care what people do in the privacy of their bedrooms. But this guy took photos of his then-wife without her consent. He violated her trust. Is that the kind of person you want to sleep with?”
I stare at Gabby, my heart hammering with shock. My stomach roils, and I think I’m going to be sick.
She takes in my expression, and her face softens in sympathy. “Oh fuck,” she says. “You’ve fallen in love with them.”
“What?” I gape at her, startled beyond belief. “No, of course not. I’ve only known them for a week, Gabby. You can’t fall in love with someone in seven days.”
“Can’t you?” A small smile creases her lips. “I spent one night with Carter and Dominic, and I couldn’t forget them. When I ran into them again in Atlantic City, there was something between us already. A familiarity, a comfort, a deep certainty that I knew who they were. At the risk of sounding like a head-in-the-cloud romantic, my soul knew theirs.”
“No.” I shake my head violently. “The situations are entirely different. You slept with Carter and Dominic. I flew on a plane with Oliver and Finn.”
“What did you talk about?”
“TV shows,” I reply. “Doctor Who. The world-building in Dune. Inception’s ending.”
“Most people,” she says, “will have no idea what you’re talking about, but Oliver and Finn shared your interests, Miki.” She lifts her hand and counts off. “Shared values, shared life experiences, roughly the same age. People tend to fall in love with other people who are like them.”
I roll my eyes. “Lancelot and Merlin on the DefCon forums have the same interests as me. Lancelot’s even been divorced, for heaven’s sake. The stuff you’re talking about isn’t as rare as you think.”
Part of me wonders why I’m trying to prove her wrong, why her assumption that I’ve fallen in love bothers me as much as it does.
“Okay,” she says. “Fine. I’m glad you aren’t in love with them. After Aaron, you deserve good people in your life, Miki, and based on what I learned today, Oliver Prescott isn’t one of them.”
29
Oliver
Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings - always darker, emptier and simpler.
Friedrich Nietzsche
My life is like a roller-coaster. I lurch between the highs of the good days and the dismal lows of the bad ones.
I get home a little after five. It’s already dark outside, and the only thing in my refrigerator that resembles food is a carton of eggs that’s tucked away in the back.
Another day, another pizza delivery.
This morning, I had a contentious meeting with the board. According to the projection Lawrence had drawn up for Ambrose, closing the private security division would cause our revenue to drop by ten percent. “Do you know what’ll happen to the stock price if our revenue declines in the first quarter after we go public?” David Blake had demanded.
The first revenue numbers will come out before the board can sell their stock. David’s not concerned about Imperium’s long-term success, just the value of his holdings.
“Block and Shield will be released before then,” I’d argued. “Right now, we’re spending a disproportionate amount of time on the private security division. We’ll be able to reallocate our efforts to more profitable areas.”
Miguel Vazquez, about my only sure ally on the board apart from Finn, had thrown me a bone. “Kent’s numbers seem high to me,” he’d said. “Oliver, if I were you, I’d double-check them.”
Ambrose Sutton’s brows had creased in annoyance. “Lawrence Kent is the CFO,” he’d snapped. “Are we to trust Oliver’s numbers more? It’s clear that the two of you,” he’d nodded to Finn and me, “want to shutter this division. Let me remind you that the board won’t rubber-stamp every decision you make. Our duty is to the shareholders of Imperium.”
“Of which there aren’t any yet,” Finn had replied calmly. “Let me remind you that Oliver and I founded Imperium. Our decisions have got us to this point.”
“Finn’s right,” Barbara Rhodes had interjected. The older woman rarely spoke, but when she did, she was always listened to. Barbara had taken the small grocery chain her father had founded and grown it into the second largest retailer in the country. “So far, your judgment has always been sound.”
So far. What happens when Claudia’s photos leak? I don’t know what faith the board will have in my judgment then.
The meeting had ended inconclusively. My afternoon meeting, with the PR firm that Susan had recommended, had gone no better. The Aventi employee assigned to my case was a woman called Gabriella Alves, and she’d been hostile and disbelieving of my story. “You’re telling me that you run a data security company, but your ex-wife was able to take these pictures without your consent?”
I grab my swim trunks and head to the building’s indoor pool. I’m the only one there, which is a relief. I’ve never been less in the mood for small talk.
I swim lap after lap, my muscles straining, pushing my body beyond its usual limits in a quest to quiet my mind. As my arms slice through the water, I’m not thinking of Ambrose Sutton and the rest of the board. I’m not thinking of Claudia, Lawrence, or Sebastian Fitzgerald.
There’s only one person on my mind. Miki.
After Claudia, I swore I’d never make myself vulnerable ag
ain. I never went out with a woman more than once; I wasn’t ready to risk my heart.
But Miki slipped in. Our relationship was formed online. I knew things would change if I slept with her, and I did it anyway.
It’s ironic. I’m the CEO of a data security company. I know how dangerous the Internet can be. I just didn’t think I’d risk losing my heart.
You know what the right thing to do is. Tell her everything.
Finn drops by shortly after I get back to my apartment. He’s holding a six-pack in his hand. “What a train wreck of a day,” he says.
I step aside, and he walks in. “When did our lives get so complicated, Oliver?”
“Money corrodes everything it touches,” I reply bitterly. “We wanted to go public, remember?”
“It doesn’t seem worth it.” He sits down on the couch with a sigh. “I’m beginning to wonder if we wouldn’t be better served to call it off.”
“Sure, you’re saying that today,” I reply. “But tomorrow, you’ll still be at work at a quarter to seven, and you’ll leave at ten at night.”
“Maybe not.” He opens a bottle of beer and takes a long drink from it.
I pick up my phone. “You want pizza?”
He nods, and I dial the Italian restaurant two blocks down the street and place an order. They know me well. “Your usual order, Mr. Prescott? One extra-large pizza, half Hawaiian, half sausage and mushrooms? It’ll be thirty minutes.”
“Sounds good.”
I grab one of Finn’s beers and settle next to him on the couch. “Anything good on TV?”
He’s flipping through channels aimlessly. “Not really,” he replies. “Nana is right. There should be more to life than work.”
He’s thinking of Miki too.
Finn and I have shared women in our twenties. We even had a relationship of sorts with one of them, Karina, until she moved back to Brazil. That’s not the most important issue confronting us.
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