‘You cannot separate yourself from me. You are my wife.’
‘Then you should have shown me that courtesy,’ she threw back at him fiercely. ‘Prior to our marriage you should have told me you had been married before and that you had a child. That you didn’t was deceitful and despicable.’
‘Have you come to hate me in so short a time?’
‘I don’t hate you, Lance, but I must be given time to think through what I am going to do, how best to deal with this—and ponder on what my feelings toward you are now. In the meantime, with time to myself, I will then be able to determine my desires and hopes for the future without being unduly swayed one way or the other.’
Lance’s eyebrows rose in amazement, then dropped swiftly and ferociously into a frown. Shrugging himself away from the door, he moved further into the room. ‘Stop this foolishness. I do not like your tone, Belle. There’s no need for all this melodrama.’
Belle moved forwards to confront him with her own rage. ‘Melodrama? I am many things, but never dramatic. What you like or dislike is of supreme indifference to me just now. What were you thinking? You must have known I would find out some time. You have a daughter,’ she said forcefully. ‘Did you intend to hide her away from me? Did you really think that I would not find out?’
‘I have not hidden her away.’ Lance’s voice flared with what could have been pain, but his face was black with anger. ‘She is with my mother. And there she will remain until I decide what is to be done with her.’
‘I think your mother might have something to say about that. What’s the matter, Lance? Don’t you like children?’
‘I do, as a matter of fact, and when we have children of our own I will show you.’
‘Children of our own?’ she cried. ‘Do you think I would even consider having a child by you when you can’t even bring yourself to take care of the one you’ve already got—when you can’t bear to look at her?’ She spun round only to have Lance’s hand clamp about her wrist and jerk her back to face him. ‘Don’t you dare manhandle me,’ she warned.
Lance was confronted with a woman he didn’t recognise—a coldly enraged, beautiful virago. Instead of apologising for his transgression, as he’d intended to do when his mother had left, he said, ‘You’re making too much of this. You are being totally irrational and absurd.’
Belle pulled her arm free with a wrenching tug that nearly dislocated her shoulder, then stepped back, well out of his reach, her chest rising and falling in fury as she mentally recoiled from the violence flashing in his eyes. ‘You are a monster, and I am not being irrational or absurd so don’t you dare say so. You have deceived me most cruelly, Lance. At this moment I am so angry that I cannot forgive you.’
‘Why? For not telling you that I had a wife before you and that I have a daughter? Would it have made any difference to your decision to marry me?’
‘I cannot answer that, but it would certainly have affected me.’ She continued to face him, knowing it was quite hopeless, but she might as well say what she had to say. It could make matters no worse. ‘What I don’t understand is why she isn’t here with her father—which is where she belongs.’
‘She is being well looked after. She wants for nothing,’ he stated coldly. ‘I make sure of that.’
‘Only her father. She has lost her mother. Are you so heartless you would deny her a father’s love? To be without one parent is bad enough, but to be denied both because her father blames her for being the reason her mother died is the ultimate cruelty. Have you not thought how much you are failing her—and your first wife?’
The violent colour of his anger drained from his face, and his eyes glittered. ‘What? What did you say?’
‘That it would surely sadden your wife if she knew of your rejection of her child. Charlotte didn’t ask to be born. At nine months old the child has done nothing to deserve your condemnation.’
There was a deep and dreadful silence, a silence so menacing, so filled with the unwavering determination of the two people involved. Lance took a step towards her, but Belle did not flinch. Their eyes were locked together in awful combat. Neither was about to retreat.
‘You speak of things you know nothing about.’ His face was white and set with rage, his voice shaking with the violence of his emotion. ‘How dare you speak of my first wife to me—her name was Delphine and she died after giving birth on the eve of Waterloo—of what her attitude might be, of what she might be feeling? That is an outrage, one you have no right to commit. Damn you, Belle, for saying it.’
‘No, it is you who will be damned, Lance Bingham. You and all the other men who take advantage and make a mockery of a woman’s weakness—her vulnerable heart. Dear God, what have I done that I must deserve this—that I must endure.?’
‘Nothing. You have done nothing at all. What I did was before I met you and has nothing to do with us—with our marriage. That is the reality of it, so you must accept it.’
‘That’s just the kind of arrogant remark I would expect from someone who knows they have done wrong.’ Belle held herself erect and her words were as cold and cutting as a newly polished and sharpened sword. ‘I will not accept it since you have a child that is going to play a big part in my life.’
‘And I shall see to it that she has nothing to do with you.’
‘We’ll see about that. Now, since I can see no point in continuing with this conversation, I would be obliged if you would leave this room while I finish collecting my things.’
He was startled. ‘What?’
‘Either you leave—or I will.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘At this moment I don’t want anything to do with you. Your attitude towards your own flesh and blood is unacceptable and disgusts me. I confess that I am not sure enough of my abilities as a mother, but I would care for Charlotte as if she were my own.’
Lance’s face froze and his hard eyes locked on hers. ‘Have a care, Belle. Do not cross me in this. You will not meddle in affairs that do not concern you. There is a line beyond which you must not go. You are almost at that line and you had best be careful you do not step over it.’ He spun from her and walked towards the door.
‘And Charlotte?’
He turned and looked back at her. His face was expressionless. His eyes were empty, a glacial blue emptiness that told her nothing of what he felt. ‘Let’s get this settled once and for all. I don’t want her. She will stay at Bilton House with my mother,’ he said, then, turning on his heel, his composure held tightly about him, he strode from the room.
Unable to move, Belle was unable to bear it. How could she? She turned her head away and stared, blinded and tormented, at the door through which her husband had just disappeared. Her throat ached and her eyes burned, but she would not cry. She held herself steady, resisting the urge to call him back, to let him take her in his arms, to hold her, and comfort her, and for her to soothe his agony with the outpouring of her own love, for this man whom she worshipped. But she could not.
Shortly afterwards she heard the sound of a horse’s hooves on the gravel as Lance left to wherever it was he was going.
She didn’t see him again that day. He hadn’t returned by the time she retired to another room at the opposite end of the house to the one in which they had shared two wonderful nights making love until dawn. As she lay in the soft warmth of her solitary bed, aching for him, her heart felt sad. She had defied her husband—but at what price? She had seen him angry before, but his fury, his amazingly ominous objection to Charlotte being at Ryhill, was beyond anything she had imagined.
But she would stand firm on this. It was up to her to make him see that what he was doing was wrong. He was her husband for better or worse, and she wasn’t going to run away at the first hurdle.
Two days, she thought with bitter cynicism, two days they had been married and already that first hurdle seemed a mile high, but it was not insurmountable. It was up to her to see this thing through. She was mistress of
Ryhill, and if Lance still loved and mourned his first wife to the exclusion of his child, then she must be patient and wait for his wounds to heal, no matter how much she was hurting. In the meantime she saw it as her duty to bring Charlotte home.
The following morning Belle awoke late. Her head was aching, but she made herself go down to breakfast, to be informed when she enquired why Lance’s place was not set that he’d eaten early before leaving the house. And so on the third morning of her marriage, Belle ate alone, having no idea where her husband was.
Bilton House was not as large as Ryhill nor as imposing, but surrounded by pleasant woodland and profusely flowering gardens, with a small lake where swans and moor hens floated aimlessly upon the tranquil surface, it was charming. When Belle’s carriage drew up outside the door, Lance’s mother came out to greet her. It was as if she had known she would come at that precise moment and was waiting. She kissed her daughter-in-law’s cheek warmly and said how delighted she was by the visit.
‘I think you know why I’ve come,’ Belle said gravely.
Elizabeth smiled, walking with her to the door. ‘To see Charlotte, I expect.’
‘And to take her back with me to Ryhill—if you’re in agreement, that is.’
‘It is what I want—what I’ve wanted ever since the nurse turned up on my doorstep with Charlotte in her arms. I was beginning to despair of Lance ever wanting her.’
‘He still doesn’t—at least, not yet. But he will. He has to. If he could only try to accept Charlotte, she could be a source of comfort to him.’
Elizabeth paused in her stride and looked at her, her eyes dark with concern. ‘Belle, I’m so dreadfully sorry if this has caused trouble between you and Lance. It is the last thing I want—and you so recently a bride.’
Belle returned her smile with a confidence that was not convincing to the older woman. ‘Please don’t worry. I’m sure things will turn out right. Lance is like a bear with a sore head just now, but this thing has to be faced and sorted out if we are to move on with our lives.’
‘You’re right. Now come inside and we’ll have some tea. Then I’ll take you to the nursery to meet your stepdaughter.’
They sat in a charming drawing room overlooking the gardens. Drinking tea and making polite small talk, Belle was relieved when Elizabeth suggested the two of them take a stroll in the garden. It wasn’t until they were some distance from the house that she invited Belle to sit beside her on a bench beneath a trellised arch with trailing pink roses.
‘I am glad for the opportunity to speak with you alone, Belle. I would like to speak to you on a matter other than Charlotte. I am not one for half-truths or evasion. Lance has told me how your betrothal came about, and I confess to being troubled about it at the time.’
An embarrassed flush mantled Belle’s cheeks and she looked down at her hands. ‘Yes, I’m sure you must have been.’
‘I have to confess,’ Elizabeth said tentatively, ‘that because of what happened in the past between our two families, I can’t pretend I wasn’t shocked when he wrote and told me the two of you were to marry. I understand it was to salvage your reputation.’
‘And my pride,’ Belle added on a wry note.
‘Lance’s also. You have both been foolish. How did your grandmother react to what happened?’
‘She was angry—and extremely disappointed in me. When I came to England, my social skills and knowledge about your ways were sadly lacking. Knowing very little of the kind of protocol that rules English society, she put so much effort into preparing me for the Season and had such high hopes for me.’
‘The English Season, which is the time when young girls are introduced into society in the hope of securing a suitable husband, can be daunting at any time—but for a girl newly arrived from America, I’m sure it must have been terrifying. But please go on. How did your grandmother react to your behaviour?’
‘When she learned of what I had done—and how Lance turned it to his advantage—considering my reputation to be more important than past indiscretions, and with the loss of a great deal of her pride, she insisted Lance did the honourable thing.’
‘And she was right to do so. I would have done exactly the same.’
‘Initially he didn’t want to marry me—I now know it was probably because he was still mourning his first wife, Delphine. It was too soon. I can’t blame him for not wanting to form any kind of relationship with another woman so quickly after losing his wife—never mind risk marrying one. To lose a wife on the eve of battle—to be thrown into the fray so to speak right away—I can’t think how he’s survived and stayed sane.’
‘Lance is strong,’ Elizabeth replied. ‘He’s one of the finest, strongest people I’ve known. I think he takes after his father in that. I realise that you were threatened with harsh consequences if he refused to marry you.’
‘Yes,’ Belle replied in a low voice, meeting the older woman’s eyes directly. ‘I compromised myself.’
‘In a way, but from what I understand, Lance forced your hand when he took the diamonds.’
‘Had I known that by rights they belonged to your family, I would have left well alone.’
‘But you didn’t.’
‘No. Anyway, he did the honourable thing and agreed to marry me to save me from scandal, which would have ruined my reputation completely and devastated my grandmother.’
‘I’m looking forward to meeting her—soon, I hope. It is my hope that we can put the whole sorry business of what happened so long ago behind us. But—you do care for Lance?’ Elizabeth’s concern that his business with Charlotte might have caused a rift in their relationship was evident in her voice.
‘Yes,’ Belle answered softly, in complete honesty. ‘I care for him—very much.’
Elizabeth relaxed. She knew there was probably much more to the story than either Lance had cared to elaborate on or Belle was now revealing and that she hadn’t been informed of the details. Nor did she think she needed to be. She knew her son was no saint—his hasty marriage to his first wife attested to that. And she really didn’t care. She was just immensely relieved that Lance had married a woman of whom she approved and who cared deeply for her son.
‘Well then, that’s all right. I wouldn’t worry about how you came together. I know my son, and he wouldn’t let himself be forced into anything if he truly objected to it. Besides, you are underestimating your appeal. You’re so lovely, my dear. Lance probably took one look at you and couldn’t resist you.’
Belle smiled. ‘Thank you for the compliment,’ she said simply, with gratitude for being accepted so unquestioningly.
‘He’s already more than half in love with you.’ When Belle stared at her with wide, questioning eyes, she smiled and patted her head. ‘I saw the way he looked at you yesterday when I arrived at Ryhill. No man looks at a woman that way unless he’s in love. I hope it works out for you both, Belle, I really do. Besides, I for one will be glad to put that wretched business of the diamonds behind us. I meant what I said. I look forward to meeting your grandmother—it cannot be soon enough.’ She paused before saying carefully, ‘Now, would you like me take you to see Charlotte?’
‘Yes. I—am looking forward to seeing her.’
‘She is quite adorable and has everyone eating out of the palm of her hand. Has Lance told you anything about his wife—Delphine?’
Belle shook her head. ‘No.’
‘Well, all I know is that their marriage was of short duration. That is what he told me. Apparently she was with him in Spain. When the fighting was over they parted. He had no idea she was carrying his child. It wasn’t until the eve of Waterloo that he saw her again—she had just been delivered of Charlotte and wasn’t expected to live. Lance did the right thing by her and married her.’
‘Oh, dear.’ Belle sighed deeply. ‘He seems to make a habit of doing the right thing when it comes to women.’
Elizabeth laughed lightly. ‘It does seem like that. I cannot speak for Delphine since
I never met her, but where you are concerned, my dear, I really believe he has. Now come along,’ she said, getting up and smoothing her skirts, ‘I’ll take you to the nursery.’
This was the moment Belle had worried about most, seeing Lance’s child, his daughter, who would be a constant reminder of the woman he had married before her. Cool, steady, resolute, she tried to appear as though there was nothing out of the ordinary about the situation, though inside she was quaking.
She was aware of Elizabeth’s eyes upon her as the nursemaid reached into the crib and lifted Lance’s daughter out, holding her with infinite gentleness as she handed her to her grandmother. Elizabeth smiled tenderly at the pretty darkhaired bundle. Charlotte was awake and lifted her face from the hollow of her grandmother’s neck and turned her head and peeped at Belle.
Belle’s heart did a somersault. It was like looking at Lance. The same startling deep blue eyes and long black lashes. Her hair, a tumble of glossy ebony curls, lay in soft swirls about her small head. She even had her father’s tiny cleft in her round chin. There could be no doubt that she was a Bingham and she was beautiful. Belle could not tear her gaze away from the child. She even had the same arrogant set to her baby jaw and the slight lift at the corners of her mouth that Lance had.
Belle was aware that Elizabeth was watching her closely. In spite of her determination to take her meeting of her husband’s child in her stride, she felt her heart sink. Then she firmly pulled herself together. Charlotte was part of the legacy she’d inherited when she’d married Lance, so she’d better get used to it. Reaching out, she gently placed her finger in the little hand, smiling when Charlotte’s tiny fingers curled round it firmly and she chortled happily.
‘Are you all right?’ Elizabeth asked, as if worried by her reaction. ‘What are you thinking, Belle?’
A Wayward Woman Page 20
