Ballet Master Natasha Ivanov entered the classroom and asked for our attention.
“Later,” I whispered, relieved. Not because I didn’t want to tell Alicia about it. I wanted to. I needed to. She was my best friend here and I could really use some girl time.
But the real reason was because I wasn’t ready. And knowing Josh was right behind the wall, I wasn’t sure when I would be.
***
Josh
Somehow Rayna managed to avoid me for the next few weeks, despite my efforts to talk to her. Finally, I gave up. Good thing too, because I had no idea what to say. We needed to clear the air, because now we would be working together, but after a month, I had only seen her a couple of times during morning and evening classes, and crossing paths at the hallways.
I heard about her quite often, though. The rumors that her mother, a former principal ballet dancer and member of the executive committee, had pulled some strings to have her admitted into the company had spread. It pained me to hear them, because I saw how those rumors hurt her too.
This morning, I walked down the hallway, peering inside the doors of the three classrooms. For the first morning class, we could choose any class and teacher we wanted too. After that, we had to go to our assigned studio for practice and rehearsals.
Rayna was in a corner of classroom C, beside her friend, Alicia, and talking to her assigned partner, Zack.
I turned around, determined to go to classroom A or B, but something stopped me. Something made me turn back and enter classroom C. As if she could sense my presence, Rayna’s head snapped in my direction. Her eyes widened for a brief second, red flooded her cheeks, and she spun to the barre, shielding herself from me.
Clenching my jaw, I walked to an empty spot at the barre perpendicular to where she was. She wouldn’t be able to avoid facing me forever. Maybe she would keep her eyes from me, but she would feel my presence. She would know I was here.
A moment later, the instructor came in and class began.
I did all the exercises right, my movements precise and fluid. But my attention was elsewhere. My entire focus was on Rayna.
She was beautiful. Simply beautiful. I still wanted to punch myself in the gut for having left her that night. Fuck, I had been so stupid. I was so stupid.
At the club, she had been amazing. Her dancing had drawn me to her. Once I realized how beautiful she was, I knew I was doomed. I had thought she was a great dancer then.
But it didn’t compare to seeing her dancing here. Now? Now I knew she was more than just a good dancer. Even during simple barre exercises, it was clear. Rayna was prima ballerina material. Not too short, but thin and slender, with small curves and many muscles. Her lines were long and lean and perfect. Her gestures and movements delicate and smooth.
I had had my hands all over that tight little body and had let her go.
Fuck. I better stop staring at her and remembering that night, or it would get pretty uncomfortable in my pants soon—and with these pants, it would be hard to hide.
I had to remember why I had left her there, why I shouldn’t even have gotten in that taxi with her.
I wasn’t the type of guy who found random chicks, fucked them, and left them. And somehow I knew Rayna wasn’t the type of girl to take random guys to her apartment. Besides, I had to focus on my career. Ballet and distractions didn’t go well together. And romance, even a little hookup, was a distraction.
Finally, I had made it into NYBT. I still had a long way to go to get to the top, and damn it, I would get to the top. I could not let myself get distracted.
The class ended and I bolted out the door.
***
Rayna
With a wide smile, Zack took my hand as I balanced on my pointe and smiled back. He looked in my eyes, sure and focused, and shifted his hands to my waist. After another loving gaze, he stepped behind me and I lifted my left leg in an arabesque.
“Okay,” Madam Galant said. The pianist stopped playing and Madam Galant stepped in front of the class. “That was okay.” She looked to specific dancers. “Connor, you need to step back, but don’t hide behind your partner. Andressa, your expression needs to be of love, of happiness. Natsu, your arm is too high.” Her gaze paused on Zack and me for a moment, and then she addressed everyone. “Other than that, it was okay.” She nodded to the pianist. “Let’s go again from the top.”
The pianist started playing again and we moved into position.
Zack was tall and broad, with strong arms, tanned skin, short brown hair, and big hazel eyes. I could say he was handsome and I would be probably in the falling-for-your-partner zone if my mind wasn’t occupied by another guy.
Crap. The more I tried forgetting about Josh, the more I thought about him. And the more embarrassed I became.
When I thought things couldn’t get worse, my eyes passed by the door and I tripped. My mother was standing right there, watching me through the glass window at the top of the closed door.
I glanced at Madam Galant. Thank goodness she was paying attention to another couple.
“Just keep at it,” Zack whispered, helping me move into the right position. “Forget she’s here.”
Even dancing with their partners, my three nemeses, Martha, Clare, and Joana, were eyeing me, my mother, and each other. They had been behind the worst of the talk that my mother helped me get in the company, and now they would have more ammunition.
“Easier said than done,” I whispered back.
Zack squeezed my hand before letting it go. He held me at the waist while I pirouetted.
My mother stayed at the door for another fifteen minutes. The weight on my chest lifted, and I sighed in relief when she was gone.
The moment the class was over, Martha, Clare, and Joanna started gossiping out loud, just to make me feel bad. I wished Sienna was here with me to give me a pep talk. She was always so strong, so determined. She would put some strength into me and I would be able to face these girls and everyone else head on.
But I couldn’t. There were too many things making me miserable at the moment. To be honest, the tension with Josh was wearing on me. Finally, he had stopped trying to talk to me and acted as if I was just another random dancer in the company. We didn’t even say good morning when we crossed paths before classes.
As much as I tried not thinking about it, it was hard not to imagine what he thought about me. He probably thought I was a slut who slept around with every guy who glanced her way.
I hated that. I hated that he had no idea how I was. And I hated that I hated it. I shouldn’t care what he thought, or what he did.
Which, of course, always brought another question to my mind: Had he heard the rumors? Of course he did. Everyone did. What did he think of them? Did he believe them?
Well, I wasn’t too sure myself. I mean, my mother swore to me she had nothing to do with my acceptance into NYBT, but whenever I asked, she was always too quick to answer and her voice went up a slight notch—all indicators that she might be lying to my face.
If she had had a hand in it … I wasn’t sure what I would do.
“Hey.” Zack’s voice broke through my daze and I shook away those haunting thoughts. I realized only us and another three dancers remained in the classroom. “Are you okay?”
I forced a small smile. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.” I sat down on the floor and started taking off my pointe shoes.
Zack sat beside me and took off his shoes. “You’re not fooling me.”
Before we were promoted to the main company, Zack had been at The Little NYBT with Alicia and me. We hadn’t been good friends then, there hadn’t been an opportunity, and we certainly hadn’t been partners; but now that we had been dancing together for an entire month, I could say Zack was a nice guy.
I turned a real smile at him. “I’m fine, really.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “All right. I’ll pretend I believe that.” He rested his hand on my knee. “Seriously, though. Just ignore those people.”
I sighed. “I just want them to shut up.”
“There is a way you can shut them all up. By dancing the best you can and wowing the director and moving up. That will prove to them you’re more than just another chess piece.”
Wise words. The problem was, we had just started. I wouldn’t be given much opportunity to show what I could do outside classes and controlled rehearsals. But Zack was right. I could shut them up by dancing the best I could.
I took a lungful of air and lifted my chin. “Thanks.”
He patted my knee again, and then withdrew his hand. “You’re welcome.”
He shot up and exited the classroom, while I stayed behind, wrapping the ribbons around my pointes and shoving them inside my tote. Out of habit, I pulled my phone from its pocket and checked the screen. There was a new text.
Mom: Don’t be late for dinner. You have to rehearse after.
Groaning, I lay on the cold floor and fought the tears rising up in my chest.
***
Josh
“We should go to the pub around the corner tonight,” Wu said as we exited the classroom after morning class.
“Sounds like a good idea,” Bastian said. “Before performance season starts and we can’t get out much anymore.”
“I’m in.” Connor turned to me. “You?”
I almost told them a lie to get out of it, but there was no reason. Maybe going out and relaxing would do me some good. It did sound better than staying stuck at that fucking apartment alone while Robbie went out with his crew night after night. I went with him a couple of times, but the crew always ended up on the dance floor, battling some other crew, and I was left alone to nurse my wounds. Each time, the memory of Rayna invaded my mind and I wished and wished she would show up wherever I was so we could finish what we had started.
Which was wrong. Really wrong. I had promised myself, for my sister’s sake and for all the girls like her, that I wouldn’t ever be that guy.
Besides, I wasn’t here to have a fleeting affair—even a damn hot one. I was here to focus on my career. To make a name for myself and, someday, prove to my family that I was good at this and that I could make a life for myself with ballet.
“Sure. Why not?”
The four of us turned toward the stairs when someone stepped in my way.
“Mr. Connelly,” the executive secretary said. I didn’t remember her name, but I’d seen her a few times before. “Mr. McCauley wants to see you.”
I lifted one eyebrow. “Now?”
“Yes. Please, follow me.” She gestured toward the elevators beside the stairs.
I followed her, but not before exchanging a glance with the guys. Connor ran a finger across his neck, Wu widened his eyes at me, and Bastian made an uh-oh face. With a grin, I waved them off and boarded the elevator.
The grin was more for myself than for them—to hide my nervousness and apprehension. What the hell could Mr. McCauley want with me?
The secretary opened the doors to Mr. McCauley’s office and beckoned me in.
NYBT’s executive director stood from behind his large wooden desk and looked at me. “Joshua Connelly.”
“I prefer Josh, sir.”
The tall gray-haired man nodded. “Josh Connelly, then. Please have a seat.”
“Yes, sir.” I did so and took one of the armchairs in front of his desk. He sat back in his chair and his gaze went to a stack of papers in front of him. A couple of minutes of silence passed and I started to worry. “Hm, sir, you wanted to talk to me?”
He lifted his brown eyes to mine. “Yes, but we’re waiting for someone else.”
What did he mean?
The office door opened again and his secretary stood there, urging someone inside.
My heart skipped a beat as Rayna walked in.
She froze when she saw me, her face paling. “Oh, hm, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She turned to leave.
“Rayna, you’re not interrupting,” Mr. McCauley said, gesturing for her to come in and take the empty seat beside me. “I want to talk to you both.”
Rayna’s face paled some more. Her mind was probably going to the same place mine was. Somehow, he had found out about what happened between us and wanted some kind of explanation or closure to avoid unnecessary drama.
Stiffly, Rayna stepped toward the armchair, pulled it a little more to the side, putting a few more inches between both chairs—between us—and sat down, facing Mr. McCauley.
“What … what is this about?” Rayna asked, her voice low, tentative. Clearly, she still thought he would reprimand us.
“Each year, we participate in a few ballet competitions around the world. In a little over a month, I intend to send two dancers to represent the company and compete in the Alexis Perry Grand Prix.” He looked pointedly from Rayna to me. “Rayna, Josh, I have chosen you two to go to Chicago and dance together.”
Chapter Six
Rayna
I couldn’t have heard him right.
“Could you repeat that please?” I asked, my voice trembling.
Devin smiled at me. “You and Josh will compete in the pas de deux category with the Romeo and Juliet balcony scene.” He went on, heedless of my shock. “You two will rehearse every day, starting tomorrow, from four to six in studio B.”
Two hours per day, five days a week, an entire month … alone with Josh? Oh my God, this wouldn’t work.
I opened my mouth to protest but stopped. This was the opportunity I needed to prove to everyone that I was here based on my abilities, and not because of my mother. Unless my mother had arranged this too.
Oh, damn.
I glanced at Josh. He was watching from the corner of his eyes, those two blue orbs boring holes in my soul.
Gulping, I straightened and returned my attention to Devin. He was talking about the importance of the competition and how the company, because of its status, had to have a good standing, and how he expected the best from Josh and me.
“I’ll pop in and check on your progress whenever I can,” Devin said. “Any questions?”
Josh said, “No, sir.”
I just shook my head.
“Then, that’s all.”
After bidding Devin goodbye, Josh and I stood and exited his office. While Josh closed the door, I hurried to the stairs.
“Rayna, wait,” Josh called. He caught up and stood between me and the stairs. I almost bumped into him. Into his hard frame adorned by fitted dance pants and a tank top. He was too handsome. Too hot. I swallowed and forced my eyes to meet his. “Are you … you’re okay with that, right?”
I tried offering him a fake smile, but I couldn’t. Instead, I shrugged. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Even I could tell my tone was off.
“This is a big opportunity for me. For both of us.” He ran a hand through his dark hair. “I know things are tense between us, but please, let’s try to make this work, okay?”
“Sure.” It had sounded more like a “whatever,” but he was asking too much of me too soon. Yes, this was a big opportunity and we had to make it work, but couldn’t he give me a few minutes to sort through my thoughts, through my turbulent emotions before cornering me? Angry tears made their way to my eyes. Not just angry—embarrassed tears. Why the hell was this happening to me? Couldn’t I just pretend the guy didn’t exist? That he hadn’t left me naked and alone in my bed? That I didn’t have to dance with him? I took a long breath. “See you later,” I muttered, walking around him and going down the stairs. When I was sure he couldn’t see my face, I wiped my unshed tears furiously.
On the third floor, I found Alicia walking to classroom C. “Hey, what did Mr. McCauley want?” she asked with a smile as I approached her. Her gaze shifted to above my head and her smile faltered. “Oh.” I glanced over my shoulder, and saw Josh coming down the staircase. She hooked her arm around mine and pulled me inside the classroom. “I’m here for you, if you want to talk about it.”
I sighed. “Let’s go to the coffee
shop across the street after work. I’ll tell you everything.”
She offered me a small smile. “It’s a date.”
***
Josh
That night, I couldn’t fall asleep. Every fucking time I closed my eyes, I imagined what rehearsal with Rayna would be like. I imagined having her in my arms again, dancing with me, looking at me with star-struck eyes like Romeo and Juliet looked at each other. I imagined us going a step farther and taking the dancing from the classroom to the bedroom.
Then I reprimanded myself for thinking such things. Shit. How many times would I have to tell myself that I wasn’t here to fuck around? Dancing was the most important thing in my life and starting something Rayna, even a casual relationship, would mess everything up. I hadn’t worked so hard, for so many years, to put everything at risk now.
Screw that.
My mind was onboard with keeping my distance from Rayna, even if a certain part of my body didn’t agree.
We could dance together for two hours every day and have nothing happen. There were plenty of dancers who danced together for many, many years, and they never looked at each other in any other way than as work partners. And that was the way it was going to be with Rayna and me. I would make sure of it.
So why the hell did I feel tense and uneasy as I paced the studio, waiting for her?
I glanced at the big clock on the wall again. Still ten minutes to go. I had been the nervous one and had arrived too early.
Soon, the pianist, Madam Clark, and Ballet Master Petrov arrived, making me even more uneasy.
Then, right at four, Rayna entered the classroom.
And all the thoughts and decisions I had made fled my mind. Fuck. In her backless black leotard, black skirt, and pink tights, with her hair pulled into a messy bun with a few loose strands adorning her beautiful face, she looked amazing. Stunning. How the hell was I going to be able to resist her?
Her step faltered as she glanced at me, but she quickly recovered and averted her eyes.
Madam Petrov called us to one side of the classroom, where a laptop sat open atop a folding table. “We’ll begin by watching several versions of the balcony scene. Then we’ll discuss our version, and after we’ve established all that, you two will start rehearsing.”
Dazzle Me (When You Dance Book 1) Page 5
