Finally, after what seemed like forty minutes instead of eight, the song ended and I let out a long breath.
“That was … better,” Josh said, his voice tight.
I nodded as I leaned on the barre along the wall. I glanced at the clock and was glad to see there was only seven more minutes to our end time. “I think we’re done for today, right?” I made quick work of taking my pointe shoes off, so even if he protested, it would take me at least a minute or two to get them back on.
“Right.” Frowning, Josh picked up his towel from the barre on the opposite side of the room. Unexpectedly, he turned to me, a frown on his forehead. “So, Ray.” I wasn’t sure I liked my nickname on his lips. It sounded too … intimate. “I haven’t been in New York for long and I still don’t know many good but cheap places to eat. Would you like to show me one or two?”
My hands froze on my tote and my heart stuttered. “Are you asking me to take you out to dinner?”
He ran a hand over his hair. “Not like that. I mean, you’re a new friend and I thought, what better way to get to know someone than going for a quick bite together.” He noticed my tension and quickly added, “Look, Rayna, I’m really trying to put this fucking awkwardness behind us, but I need your help. Just come with me someplace where we can talk like friends. We can even talk ballet only if you prefer. Who knows, we might decide we don’t like each other even as friends, but there’s only one way to find out, right?”
I flinched. What did he mean about “don’t like each other as friends”? I couldn’t disagree with his logic, though. If we could act like two civilized people who were almost friends, this awkwardness might fade and our performance during rehearsals would improve. Which meant we would do a better job during the competition, giving us a real chance to win it, and making a name for us within the company.
I sighed, seventy-five percent sure I would regret the next words that came out of my mouth. “All right. I know just the place.”
***
Josh
Okay, I confess that asking Rayna to dinner was a crazy long shot and I was expecting her to say no. And I also confess I was pleasantly surprised when she said yes instead.
After we changed into regular clothes, we met in the lobby. She looked pretty with skinny jeans, a red blouse, and tan sandals. Her long black hair was tied back into a tight ponytail and she had a faint touch of lipstick on her lips. Okay, pretty was an understatement. She looked pretty fucking hot.
Her hands clutched the straps of her tote. “Ready?”
I nodded and she led us outside, then around the corner. Halfway down the block, she turned through a small stone archway. I frowned but followed. The archway opened up to a rather narrow alley with lots of small square tables and chairs in the middle and on each side of the alley, there were places to order food. Each place had a large counter set right in the outer wall, where people gave their orders, then took their food to one of the tables or somewhere else to eat.
I inhaled deeply, loving the mixed scents of hot dogs, corn, hamburgers, crepes, donuts, coffee, and much more.
I kept on looking around, mesmerized. “This place …”
“It’s cool, right?” She smiled at me and I felt my insides tightening. Damn, she was even prettier when she smiled for real.
I grinned back at her. “It is.”
She beckoned me to follow her. We walked through the tables until we found two guys standing up from a table right in the middle. They grabbed their trash and left, and we quickly sat down, claiming the table before someone else could.
Rayna extended her hands to the sides of the alley. “Take your pick.”
I already knew what I wanted. “A big, greasy cheeseburger. Haven’t had one of those in a long time.”
She nodded. “I hear you.”
“And you?”
One corner of her lips turned up, and I swear her face turned naughty. “The same.”
“Thank goodness you aren’t one of those chicks who only eats salad.”
“Well, not only salad, but I try eating salad the most. With our long hours I need more sustenance than that. But a burger isn’t too healthy so I usually go for chicken, or steak, or some whole grain pasta.”
“True. We probably burn over three thousand calories in one day.” I started standing. “So, shall I order?” She started pulling out her wallet, possibly to hand me money for her burger, but I shook my head. “I’ve got it.”
She looked skeptical, but didn’t argue.
As I waited for our burgers, I watched Rayna. At first, she glanced around, looking at what, I didn’t know. She was completely unaware of all the guys looking at her. Something like protectiveness sliced through me and I wanted to grab a jacket and cover her up. I understood where those other guys were coming from. It was hard not to look at her. Even if I wasn’t here with her, she would probably have snatched my attention. Just like she had that night at the club.
That night. I sighed and shook my head once.
Damn it.
I should have finished it. I should have slept with her. I should have gotten her out of my system.
No, no. What I should have done was to never touch her. Never kissed her. Never let myself get lost in her.
Rayna began messing with her phone and I nearly groaned. This was too fucking dangerous. I had suggested this outing as a peace offering, but now I saw how dangerous it really was. Getting this close to her, becoming friends, it wasn’t enough. I knew how her lips tasted, how it felt to hold her underneath me, how crazy her little moans had made me.
I shifted my weight, trying to hide the sudden bulge inside my pants as I tried to think about baseball, about tax returns, about anything but her.
Thankfully I could walk again by the time the burgers and drinks were ready. Somehow I managed to get everything to our table.
“Thanks,” she said, and it was the only word uttered between us for the next few minutes.
“This was good,” I finally said, after I was done with my burger and fries.
“I know, right?” She popped one of her fries into her mouth.
We stayed quiet for a couple of minutes, while she lazily ate her fries and I drank my soda. I tried people watching, but I couldn’t really take my attention from the girl across the table from me.
Again, that cursed night came back to haunt me. Not in a million years I could have guessed this—the two of us dancing together—would have happened after that night.
I wracked my mind, trying to think of a safe topic we could talk about. This easy friendship thing would only work if we actually became friends, or at least well-intentioned acquaintances.
But, before I could come up with something, Rayna’s cell phone dinged. Frowning, she reached for it and read the text she had received. Her frown deepened. She quickly stashed her phone in her tote and picked up her trash.
“Hope you liked this place,” she said, standing. She briefly glanced at me. “See you tomorrow.”
What the hell?
She dashed away, stopping only to throw her trash in a garbage can. I felt like calling after her or following her, but decided it was best if I gave her some time. As I had concluded, this friendship thing wouldn’t be easy and pressing her wouldn’t help.
So I stayed behind, picked up my trash, threw it away, and decided to go for a walk on the busy streets of Manhattan. That ought to help me clear my freaking crazy thoughts.
Chapter Eight
Rayna
Thank goodness we didn’t have to work on Sundays—not unless we had a performance, and we were still a few weeks away from performance season.
I took advantage of that and slept in. But only for an hour. At nine, my mother barged in my bedroom and demanded I get ready to rehearse.
Thus was my life. Dance, dance, dance. Breathe, eat, sleep, pee. Dance, dance, dance. Rinse and repeat.
At least I had managed to talk my mother into allowing me to have Sunday night free. Which meant, no dancing i
nto the wee hours of the night.
Promptly at six in the evening, Alicia showed up at our apartment.
“Did it start yet?” she asked, joining me in the living room.
“Just now.” I handed her a bucket of popcorn as she sat down on the couch beside me, eyes glued to the TV. “They just started with the red carpet thing.”
“Cool.” She dug into the popcorn as we anxiously waited for the most beautiful and most famous people to arrive at award ceremony.
Besides presenting one of the main awards and performing her current hit song, Sienna was up for five awards: Best Music Video, Best Pop Song, Best Female Singer, Album of the Year, and Artist of the Year. If she won them all, it would be her record of most awards in one night.
“There she is!” I pointed to the TV as Sienna, wearing a gorgeous white dress that was glued to her body, strolled across the red carpet. She stopped for pictures, smiling and waving at reporters, paparazzi, and fans.
“Wow, she looks so pretty,” Alicia said, her voice dreamy.
“Wait until you see the dress she’s going to perform in. It’s a little crazier because it’s more artistic, but it’s equally stunning.”
Alicia smiled at me. “It must be so cool to be best friends with a famous pop star.”
I shrugged. “Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. We might still consider ourselves best friends, but we don’t act like it much anymore, mostly because she’s so busy with her career.”
“And you’re busy with yours,” my mother said, walking through the living room. “Sorry, I don’t want to disturb whatever you guys are watching.” She waved dismissively at the TV. “I just came to get some water.”
“I’m not that famous in the ballet world,” I said.
My mother halted and frowned at me. “Not yet.”
I fought the urge to roll my eyes at her. She hated it when I did that. “Even if I become a famous ballerina, it’s not the same thing. Only dancers will know my name, while the whole world knows Sienna’s.”
“The whole world doesn’t matter,” my mother said. “The ones who matter will know about you.”
A reporter called out to Sienna and I turned to the TV, thankful for the distraction. It wasn’t as if I didn’t want to be known in the dance world, it was just her certainty that threw me off. My mother could rest assured I would work my butt off, but there were no guarantees. Only a small percentage of dancers made it to the top and, besides talent and hard work and competence, luck was also needed and that was something I couldn’t control.
My mother disappeared down the hallway leading to the bedrooms, and Alicia and I indulged in more popcorn and watched the award event with interest. The performances were good, entertaining—but nothing like Sienna’s. She brought the entire theater down with her dress, her dancers, her moves, and her unique voice. At the end of her ten-minute show, everyone in the theater was standing and applauding, and I felt my heart swell in happiness for her.
“Want to bet this song will be number one in the iTunes store by tomorrow morning?”
Alicia chuckled. “I’ll bet it’s number one before we go to bed tonight.”
By the time of her performance, Sienna had already won Best Music Video and Best Pop Song. She was such a force; I was sure she would win the next three awards too.
Then, LACE—the rock band of the moment from the same label as Sienna—came onto the stage for a quick performance before presenting the next award. Liam and Alec Michaels, Cole Stewart, and Ethan Holden played a song about a one-night stand and it brought heat to my cheeks.
Alicia glanced over her shoulder, toward the hallway, and then leaned closer to me. “So, how are things with Josh?”
My face flamed.
I didn’t know what I was thinking going out for dinner with Josh, even an informal one at the food alley. While we were there, I realized he wasn’t so bad, which made me feel even worse. If he wasn’t so bad, what had gone wrong? Why had he walked out on me? Then, a text from my mother had come through, reminding me we had practice in less than thirty minutes. At first, I’d hated the interruption, but then I thought it over and realized it was a good thing. I shouldn’t be out with Josh anyway. Even if we were trying to smooth things over a bit, we had to keep things professional between us.
“It’s been … complicated,” I said, my voice low in case my mother came back to the living room. “Romeo and Juliet has too much romantic acting.”
Alicia nodded. “I know. But I thought, you know, that you two could work it out.”
“Work what out?”
“You two. Like, being together.”
“What?” I almost squealed. “There’s no being together.”
“But … I think you two would look so cute together.”
“That’s not a good enough reason.” I shook my head. “No. I can’t … I can’t let myself think about that. There’s too much at risk.”
“Risk of what?”
I sighed, realizing this was the first time I would say it out loud to someone other than my mother. “Of getting derailed, of getting distracted and not making my end goal. I’m here to become a principal dancer, and if I let myself get distracted, it’ll only take longer. If I make it at all.”
“You can’t be serious,” she whispered. “But … dancers have relationships all the time. Even with other dancers. They get married, have kids.” She frowned at me. “You don’t plan on getting married and having kids someday?”
“It’s too early to consider that,” I said, my voice flatter than I wanted it to be. According to my ex, I was too cold to love someone as much as I loved ballet. Children deserved a mother who loved them above everything else. “I’m only nineteen. I have at least another eleven years before I have to worry about being the lonely cat lady.” And I didn’t even like cats that much. “I can definitely become a principal dancer in eleven years.” Paulina Ferrera had done it in five, and I certainly would try for that.
I was sure Alicia was about to argue with me some more, but then another award was called and Sienna was the winner.
Argument forgotten, Alicia and I cheered for my best friend.
I picked up my phone from the coffee table and sent her a message.
Me: Congratulations, Si. I knew you could do it! You deserve all the best!
It was almost four in the morning when she replied.
Sienna: Thanks. Wait till next year. I’m gonna knock everyone’s socks off with the new album I’m writing right now.
I was sure she would.
***
Josh
Trying new waters, I joined Rayna for morning class on Tuesday. I didn’t get too close, but at least she didn’t look as tense as before.
After, I went to my assigned classroom and joined my partner, Martha.
“You have rehearsal with the charity case later, right?” she asked, her voice dripping with venom. As usual, she was acting like an entitled bitch. “How is it? She’s not a good dancer, right? Her mother got her in the company. Of course she’s not good.”
“Shut up, Martha,” I snapped, taking a large step away from her. Until we were forced to dance together, I preferred to stay as far as I could from her.
Martha made other comments as we danced, and all the while I wanted to strangle her. What a fucking bitch.
I was glad when that part of rehearsals was over and I moved to another group. But I was even gladder when it was time to meet Rayna for our competition rehearsal. When I stepped into the studio and saw her stretching at the barre, I realized I had been tense all day, anticipating my time with her.
I was such a fucking fool.
Rayna and I had barely started rehearsing when someone else joined us in the studio.
Miss Karen Monroe. Rayna’s mother.
Beside me, Rayna stiffened and for a moment, I thought she wouldn’t move ever again.
“Just dance,” I whispered, not sure what was happening.
Wide eyes glued on mine, Rayna let
out a long breath and relaxed, but only a little. To anyone else, she probably looked as pristine and lean and elegant as always. To me, holding her and feeling her tension against my hands, I knew how nervous she was.
The question was why? Just because her mother was watching us? That couldn’t be it. Could it?
Then, the kiss on the cheek came and, even though it seemed impossible, Rayna stiffened even more. When it was time for me to hold her in my arms while she embraced me, she barely touched me, keeping her face turned away from mine. Then, at the end, during the real kiss, she purposely turned her face away and I kissed her cheek.
Madam Petrov asked the pianist to stop playing. Rayna sprang away from me like I was on fire.
“No, no, no. That won’t do.” Shaking her head, Madam Petrov approached us. “This is a very, very romantic ballet. You’ll be judged for your acting and the kiss at the end is a big part of it. So, this time, I want to see a kiss. Like I’ve said before, there’s no need for a breathtaking, Hollywood kind of kiss, but it must be a lot more than a quick peck on the lips.” She shot us a glare. “Which you haven’t been doing either.” I glanced at Rayna and saw her cheeks gaining a red tint. “Understood?”
“Yes, Madam Petrov,” Rayna and I said in unison.
She asked the pianist to restart the song. After a brief look, Rayna and I went to our start positions. Two seconds later, I began dancing. The first time my hand held Rayna’s, I squeezed tight, hoping to show her what I wanted to say. And right now, I wanted to say a whole lot of things.
Then, when I was holding her in my arms, my face near her ear, I whispered, “Forget them. Dance with me. Just you and me.”
She pulled back, and for two seconds, stared at me with those big, hazel eyes. But I could see the storm inside of her. And I fucking hoped she used me as a safe harbor right now.
During the next move, Rayna closed her eyes briefly and took a long breath, and then she let go. She relaxed, smiled at me through the mirror, and began dancing.
Dazzle Me (When You Dance Book 1) Page 7
