I shook my head. “I tried, I really did, but my dad and I will never see eye to eye. He didn’t want to forgive my mistakes, and he’ll never accept me as I am. Talking to him yesterday, I realized it was time to be honest with myself and to be myself, and do what made me happy.” I looked into her eyes, trying to make her understand what I was trying to say. “I’m back at NYBT but something is missing in my life. You’re missing.” I took a tentative step toward her. “I miss you, Ray.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “And what I said on stage … I lo—”
“Don’t say it!”
“Why not?”
Her throat bobbled as she swallowed hard. “Because you really have to mean it.”
Something came over me and I reached for her. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pulled her to me. She tried pushing me away from her. “I love you, Rayna,” I told her, my mouth only inches from hers. Staring at me with wide, wary eyes, Rayna stopped fighting. “I mean it. I’ve known I love you since my parents came to visit me here in New York.”
Her arms slackened. “But that was … before our argument in your apartment.”
“I know, I know. I was a jerk then too. I let my frustration get the best of me, and I acted like a jerk, instead of relying on the one thing I’m sure of. I want to be with you. Now, tomorrow, in ten, twenty, thirty years.”
Tears brimmed in her eyes. “You’re an idiot, you know that?”
A hollow chuckle escaped my lips. “Yeah, I know that.” I kept staring at her, so, so close. If I leaned a tiny bit, I could kiss her. Fuck, I wanted to kiss her. So, so much. “Please, Rayna, say something.”
Instead of speaking, she stood in her pointe shoes and touched my lips with hers. She brushed them on mine and I let out a long exhale. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her mouth to mine. I groaned as her lips parted and I dove into her kiss.
After a long while, Rayna broke the kiss and brought her lips to my ear. “I love you too, you idiot,” she whispered.
I pulled back and stared into her eyes. She had a smile on her lips and, damn, she never looked more beautiful to me. With a groan, I dipped into her for another kiss. She responded right away and allowed me to claim her mouth. I backed us up until she was pressed between a wall and me. She moaned as I pressed myself against her, her tight little body molding to mine.
It was fucking bliss and I hoped this moment never ended.
Chapter Twenty Six
Rayna
“So,” Sienna started. She was sprawled on a velvet seat in her private box at the theater. “Tell me more about your new life.”
“You already know everything,” I said from the seat beside hers. A month had passed since Josh and I had had our reconciliation. I had moved in with him and Robbie, though that apartment was also too small for the three of us, so Josh and I were looking for our own place—which wasn’t easy—but I was confident we would find something nice and not too expensive soon. Josh had done wonderfully during NYBT’s fall season, and now he had a big role in The Nutcracker during the holiday season. Josh, Zack, and Alicia had been promoted to soloists a couple of weeks ago—I was so proud of them.
Checking the time on my phone, I stood.
“Where are you going?” Sienna asked.
“I need to be up front when they arrive,” I said, turning to the exit.
“But you’re gonna be right back, right?”
“Yes, I think so.” I smiled at her. “Don’t worry. I’ll be back with them before the performance starts.”
“You’d better! I don’t like being alone up here.”
“You’re not alone. Your goons are outside.”
She stuck her tongue out at me and I laughed.
After a quick wave of my fingers, I left her private box and rushed downstairs to the front of the theater.
I hadn’t seen them before, not in person, and I hoped I recognized them right away. I knew they had seen photos of me too, so maybe they would also recognize me.
“That’s her,” I heard a female voice saying.
I turned to my right and found a pretty girl with black hair and hazel eyes smiling at me. Behind her, I saw an elegant woman with short brown hair and blue eyes, and a tall man with wide shoulders and a mop of black hair. Like the girl, the woman was smiling at me, but the man … he seemed defensive.
I smiled at them. “Hi, I’m Rayna.”
The girl stepped forward. “Hi Rayna. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Sarah, and these are my parents, John and Olivia.”
Josh’s mother embraced me. “Thank you for doing this.”
“My pleasure,” I whispered to her and I meant it. I was glad to help in any way. I just hoped Josh saw it that way too. I showed them the tickets in my hands. “I have VIP passes that will give you access backstage and also seats in my friend’s private box.” I looked at Sarah. “Do you like pop music?”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “I do. Why?”
“What about Sienna Sparks?”
She rolled her eyes. “Who doesn’t like her? She’s the best.”
My smile widened. “Then you’re in for a big treat.” I turned to Josh’s parents. “Come with me. I’ll take you to him.”
***
Josh
I walked from side to side in front of the mirror.
“Stop pacing, Josh,” Zack said. He was seated in front of his mirror, applying the finishing touches to his makeup. “You’re making me nervous.”
“I can’t help it.”
Zack tsked. “You’ll be fine, man.”
I wanted to believe him, and deep down, I knew I would be fine, but I couldn’t help the knot in my stomach. This was a big, big night. It was the first Nutcracker performance of the holiday season and Mr. McCauley had given me an important soloist role.
Besides, I knew Rayna would be watching me, as she did most nights, but being a soloist with her watching me … I wanted to make her proud.
“Josh?” Rayna’s voice echoed through the dressing room. I turned around and saw her at the door, her hand over her eyes so she wouldn’t see any of the guys dressing or undressing. “Can you come outside, please?”
“Sure,” I muttered as I hurried out. She had only come backstage once before, and that had been before my first performance back with NYBT. She’d wanted to wish me luck. “Hey, wh—”
My words died on my tongue when I saw three other people standing behind her in the busy hallway.
“Hi, Josh.” My mother was the first to speak.
“W-what are you doing here?” I looked from my mother, to my father, to Sarah, and finally to Rayna. “You did this?”
She nodded. “I called your mother, talked to her, and then she talked to your father. Then I talked to your father. And here they are. To support you. Now be nice and talk to them.” She stood on her tiptoes and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. Then she turned to my parents. “I’ll be waiting for you outside this hallway.” She pointed to the end of the hallway, where big, double doors kept non-dancers or non-staff out. Apparently, she had been able to sneak my family in anyway.
She waved at us then marched down the hallway.
And I returned my attention to the three people standing in front of me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked again, my voice raspy.
“We came to see you dance,” my mother said, a small smile gracing her lips.
I crossed my arms, aware of the people walking past us. The company was getting ready for the show and soon I would be called to join the cast on stage. “Why? Why now?”
“Because …” She shrugged as tears shone in her eyes.
“Because,” my father started, and I erected a wall around me, ready for the onslaught of insults he was about to throw at me. “Because after Rayna called and talked to us, I researched a lot and found out that, even though ballet looks feminine, it requires a lot of strength, and the male ballet dancers are the strongest of them all. Not only physical strength, but also mental because o
f all the prejudice and criticism they have to endure.” He gulped and I stared, my mouth wide. If he kept this up, my heart would have to be restarted with a defibrillator. “And I realized I was my son’s worst nightmare, holding prejudice and criticism against him.” He shook his head once. “It took me a while to see that, and it’ll take me a while to fully accept your choices, but I’ll try. I’m here and I’m trying.”
A burning sensation prickled the back of my eyes and I blinked fast. I wouldn’t cry now. Not in front of them—and I had makeup on. If I cried now, it would be ruined.
My mother touched my arm. “We’re here for you, dear.”
Sarah glanced at a group of male dancers that walked by us. “Male ballet dancers are so ripped. I love it!”
“Sarah!” my mother scolded in a teasing tone.
I groaned. “Ugh, I could have gone without that one.”
Sarah chuckled and I shifted my gaze back to my father. “I’m sorry for not following in your footsteps. I tried but … I couldn’t. It wasn’t for me. And I want to thank you for giving me this chance.” Someone hollered at the dancers to line up before curtain call. “I have to go. Rayna said she would be down that way—” I pointed to the end of the hallway. “—and she’ll take you to your seats.”
“We’ll see you after?” my mother asked.
I smiled. “Definitely.”
I turned to leave, but my father called me, “Josh?”
I glanced at him over my shoulder. “Huh?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I like her. We all like her. Rayna, I mean. She seems like a fine young woman.”
My smile widened. “She is, and much more.”
I nodded at them, and then dashed to the other end of the hallway.
Chapter Twenty Seven
Rayna
After Josh’s brilliant performance, we all went to a little cozy restaurant and had dinner together. His father was uptight and a little quiet, but it was clear he was trying to reach out to his son. Half of the time, his mother had tears in her eyes and a small smile on her lips. She asked me a lot of questions, trying to get to know me. At first, Sarah couldn’t stop talking about sitting in Sienna Sparks’ private box and taking lots of pictures—which she had already posted on Instagram and everywhere else. Then, she switched gears and asked Josh to introduce her to the other male dancers. He, like a big, overprotective brother didn’t like the idea at all.
I stayed there as a buffer, trying to keep the conversation going when it stalled, and overall just glad Josh and his family were finally opening up to each other. No more lies, no more deceptions.
After we left the restaurant, Josh’s family headed to their hotel and we promised to go sightseeing with them early in the morning. Then, holding hands, Josh and I walked back to our apartment. Even at this hour, the New York streets were still buzzing with movement and sounds and lights.
Josh squeezed my hand. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He looked at me with a lopsided smile. “What?”
“I’m just trying to figure out what I did to deserve you.”
I scoffed. “You’re exaggerating.”
Josh shook his head. His hair, still full of gel, didn’t sway a millimeter. “No, I’m not. If I had my way, I wouldn’t have reached out to them for a long, long time. And, in the end, I would have suffered for it. Especially during birthdays and Father’s Day and Christmas. But you stepped in and talked to them. Damn, you made my father understand!” An amused chuckle bubbled out of me. “I’m telling you, you dazzle me.”
My cheeks flamed. “Can we change subjects?”
“Why?”
“I’m not … I’m not used to compliments like that. I always feel like they are forced. People just throw out compliments to be nice.”
Josh halted and stepped in my way. Then, letting go of my hands, he cupped my face and stared into my eyes. “Ray, you’re dazzling me. You dazzle me. I can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful you are and how great you make me feel. I’m so, so grateful that you like me too, I—”
“I don’t just like you. I love you.”
He smiled. “I know, and that’s even more amazing.” He leaned into me and grazed his lips across mine. “I love you too.” He brushed his lips over mine one more time, and I moaned, totally entranced. “All right, you may not like compliments, so I’ll shut up, then. But let’s go home. I’ll show you how I feel about you.” Josh planted a quick peck on my lips, then turned around and grabbed my hand, tugging me along with him.
Stunned, I let him take me.
***
Josh
Thank goodness Robbie had a gig tonight and wasn’t home. Because if he was … I would have kicked him out.
Still holding Rayna’s hand, I closed the door of the apartment and pulled her to the middle of the living room.
Her hazel eyes shone and I was sure she was nervous. It wasn’t as if we hadn’t slept together before, we had even made love before. But now … now I was so fucking sure that I wanted her forever, it hurt. And, by some miracle, it seemed she wanted me to.
I synced my phone with the Bluetooth speakers and selected an appropriate song.
“Dance with me,” I whispered. A half-smile tinged her lips as I wrapped one arm around her waist and took her right hand in my left one. We swayed with the slow, sexy song, side to side, moving our hips while we stared into each other eyes.
Then, I dipped her back in a circle and her long hair swept toward the floor like a dark wave. I did it once, twice, three times. On the third time, I leaned over her, resting my cheek right above her breast. Her heart beat hard and fast against my ear. I smiled, loving the effect I had on her.
She let go of my hand and wound both her arms around my neck. I straightened and took her with me, lifting her feet off the ground. With a moan, she knotted her legs around my waist and moved her hips, brushing against my hard-on. She moaned again and I bit my bottom lip. It was all I could do not to take her to my bed right now. No, not yet. I wanted to take my sweet time with her. I wanted to dance and make love to her.
“Let me bite it for you,” she whispered, leaning into me. She took my lip between her teeth and sucked, all the while grinding her hips into mine. My knees buckled and I almost lost it right then.
Surprising me, she shimmied down, then turned around in the circle of my arms, and glued her back to my chest, her ass to my groin.
“Fuck,” I whispered, leaning over so my lips grazed her neck.
She moaned and continued shimmying, all the while rubbing her tight ass into my groin. Holy shit … I slid my hands to her hips and pushed her away, just half an inch.
She glanced at me over her shoulder. “What is it?”
“If you keep that up, this won’t last long,” I said, my voice raspy.
She lifted an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?” Then, she pushed me back until I fell on the couch. She turned around and straddled me. “How is this?” She rolled her hips and I cursed the several layers of clothes between us. She chuckled and rolled her hips again.
Okay, that did it. I couldn’t take it much longer. I reached for her, but she jumped back before I could snatch her waist, a mischievous grin on her pretty face.
Slowly, Rayna slid her hands over me. Down my chest, down my legs, up my thighs, finally stopping at my hips. Biting her lower lip, she unbuttoned my jeans and tugged them down. Holding my breath, I lifted my ass from the chair so she could pull my pants off—she pulled my boxers off as well—then she knelt in front of me.
“Oh, fuck,” I cursed, tensing all over as she closed her hand around my shaft. Looking into my eyes, she lowered herself and took me into her mouth. “Fuck!” I groaned. Damn, her mouth. Her mouth was heaven and hell, and as she applied more pressure and increased her up and down movement, I was ready. I was goddamn ready. I bit my cheek and held on, because I wanted to last, I wanted to come inside her, not like this. Not tonight anyway.
When I simply couldn’t take any
more, I clasped my hands around Rayna’s shoulders and gently pulled her off me.
She had a knot on her forehead. “Was it that bad?”
“Hell no. It was damn good, but …” I stood and pulled her up with me. I leaned into her and brushed my lips on her ear before whispering, “When I come, I want to be inside you.”
A little cry escaped her throat and that sound made me insanely proud.
A new song started playing and I took Rayna’s arms and turned her around, as if she was pirouetting on stage. After three turns, I stopped her, her back against my chest and her ass against my hard-on again, because this position? Just too good. I skimmed my hands over her body and pulled her dress with them, until the dress was off and thrown somewhere on the living room floor. I closed my hands around her perky breasts, and she moaned as I pinched her nipples. She tilted her ass up and I groaned. Damn it, this girl.
I let my head fall on the spot between her shoulder and her neck, loving the heat coming from her skin, and her sweet scent.
Slowly, I snaked one of my hands down, until it touched the waistline of her lace panties. Her breath hitched and, satisfied with that reaction, I slipped my hand underneath. Once more, she moaned as I reached down and flicked a finger over her clit. Then, I went further and slipped one finger inside her, keeping my thumb on her clit. Her knees buckled and I held her up with one arm tight against her waist. Her breathing sped up and she let out little cries and sounds that only made me harder. I slid a second finger inside her and rubbed her clit harder. Rayna cried as her body tensed up. Two seconds later, she cried again and her body trembled against mine as she came.
Rayna was still a little numb when I reached over the couch and grabbed a condom from my wallet, then I walked her forward until she was facing a wall. I placed her hands on the wall, then pulled her panties off, and gently spread her legs.
“Oh, Josh,” she whispered when I pressed my body to hers.
“Do I have to ask permission?” I teased.
Dazzle Me (When You Dance Book 1) Page 21
