Life Without Hope

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Life Without Hope Page 26

by Leo Sullivan


  rappers.

  At 11:04 a.m., I was looking for Trina’s car. It was still raining.

  I found her car in the parking lot. Moments later, as scheduled,

  she came out of the building wearing blue jeans and a gray FAMU

  sweat shirt with a black leather jacket that had NY stenciled on the

  back in big purple letters. She wore my Chicago Bulls baseball cap

  pulled down over her eyes as she walked to her car with umbrella

  in hand. I honked the horn. As soon as she saw me her face lit up

  and she gave me a mischievous grin. I know what was on her

  mind. Sex. Occasionally I would pick her up from school and we

  would go back to her place right off campus and have sex. She

  hardly ever stayed there, so I also thought it was an ideal spot to

  hide the money since it was her job to pick it up daily. Trina could

  get so animated when she was happy, maybe that was the Spanish

  side of her. She approached my car like she was dancing in the

  rain. The bounce in her step had her ponytail swinging like a devi-

  ous kitten. With all the vibrance of a young woman ready to set

  out to conquer the world, no one would have ever thought she

  could be the brainchild to a million dollar drug ring. A Brooklyn

  chick.

  I rolled down the window and she kissed me with enough

  tongue to hang a man with, she then looked in the car at Major.

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  “Ouch, what happened to him?” she asked. I shrugged my shoul-

  ders as if to say,

  I dunno

  .

  I got out of the car and walked under her umbrella to her car.

  We sat inside. I told her about our new living arrangements in

  Quincy. I talked as the rain pelted the car windows like soft music

  to my monologue, a conspiracy between lovers. I told her about

  the plantation mansion I was going to buy and remodel. She lis-

  tened intently. Afterward, she asked about Black Pearl, I detected

  a real bond of sisterhood there. We both knew that Pearl was due

  to have the baby any day now.

  Ever so gently, Trina leaned over and kissed me passionately,

  sucking on my bottom lip as her fingers walked down my thigh

  until she reached my fly. She eased her hand inside. “Papi,” she

  crooned breathily as her hand stroked me. I closed my eyes just as

  the windows in the car began to fog.

  “Papi, I want to go to Freak Nic in Atlanta, me and the girls,”

  she said as she licked my neck with hot saliva and took my joint

  out of my pants. I was about to say yes, and then she added, “I’m

  going to stop by the prison and visit Mike.” Right then, for a fleet-

  ing second, I saw a gleam of something in her brown eyes. She was

  talking about her ex-boyfriend. My instincts tried to tell me some-

  thing, but jealousy was a barrier as I thought,

  damn, this nigga in

  prison, but he’s out here in my girl’s mind.

  “No.” I answered Trina’s question flatly. She looked up at me

  with optic slits that were hard to read, but the message was con-

  veyed, she still had feelings for him, and I was jealous and seething

  with the rage that came with it.

  “That’s your fuckin’ problem, you and your frat sistas party

  too damn much,” I snapped. Trina shook her head and craned her

  neck the way a woman does when she is trying to understand her

  man.

  I tried to soften the blow, hide my feelings like a fire under the

  bed, but the smoke was smoldering in the dark recess of my eyes.

  “Ma, this weekend we s’pposta fly out to meet wit yo peeps,

  remember?” I said with the timbre of my voice softening. She did-

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  n’t answer, she just stared at me for all it was wor th as my joint

  went soft in her hands. She pulled away. I adjusted my fly, taking

  the opportunity to navigate my thoughts, it was an awkward situ-

  ation. The last thing in the world I wanted was for this chick to

  know that I was getting emotionally attached to her.

  “I’m sending Tomica to Chicago and Evette to Baltimore.

  From here on out, we movin’ weight.”

  “But I thought you said we was never going to sell weight to

  keep the feds off.”

  “No! You said we were never going to sell weight. I’m chang-

  ing the game plan, flipping the script. It takes too damn long to

  move a key of Boy in this country-ass town,” I said. For some rea-

  son I was angry, hurt. It felt like she betrayed me.

  “Papi, why you into your feelins?” Her words chimed. I just

  looked straight ahead, watched the rain dance off the windshield,

  thought about all the cash I had stashed at her place, duffel bags

  full. I couldn’t even count it all it was coming so fast.

  Like round two, Trina’s whole demeanor changed. She placed

  her hand into my lap. Her index finger gyrated a figure eight

  motion on my thigh. I turned and looked at her, for the first time

  I saw Trina Vasquez, the actress. She was as fake as a three-dollar

  bill. I thought about what Blazack had said back there in the base-

  ment, “that Brooklyn bitch playin’ you like a sucka.”

  I hopped out of the car into the pouring rain, heard her shout

  as she called my name. Emotions spilling over like some volcanic

  reaction. That was the day that I decided to buy a money count-

  ing machine, several of them.

  I drove back to Quincy with Major as my sidekick. We drank

  E&J bumping Too Short’s “The Ghetto” on my Alpine system. I

  fired up a blunt, reflected back on my life. Trina’s words were

  haunting me. I knew it was time to start thinking about getting

  out of the game, but hell, I was just getting star ted. Besides, Trina’s

  people had me hooked.

  Two days later Black Pearl gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

  When she came home from the hospital, the girls decided to give

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  her a baby shower. I had never seen so many ruddy females in my

  entire life. They even hired male strippers. I noticed that a few of

  Trina’s fraternity sisters brought rulers with them to use on the

  strippers. When dude showed up at the door wearing a cowboy

  suit I knew it was time for me to get the hell out of there.

  *****

  It took me a few weeks, but I was finally able to purchase the

  land that Black Pearl and I dreamed about. The old guy thought

  I was crazy, so did ever ybody else, except Black Pearl. She had been

  talking to decorators and architects about building a stylish man-

  sion just like them white folks have out in Hollywood, so I flew in

  decorators from California and paid out the ass for it, too.

  *****

  Trina finally graduated from FAMU after being there seven

  years, majoring in a four-year course in Business Management.

  On the same day Trina graduated, Black Pearl turned seventeen,

  so I did the damn thang! We partied lavishly. I rented five stretch

  limos and filled them with cases of Moet and Alize. The next day

  I paid for thirty-eight tickets at eight hundred a pop, plus airfare,

  to go see a Mike Tyson fight at Madison Sq
uare Garden. The fight

  only lasted thirty-seven seconds. We still had a ball. For the first

  time I saw Blazack with a smile on his face that wasn’t from mis-

  chief, but the pure joy of being a big baller. The next morning we

  flew back to Florida. We were tired, hung over, pooped and par-

  tied out. I had another surprise for Trina. In the parking lot of her

  building complex off campus sat a top-of-the-line Mercedes. One

  of them big body Benzes. I even had it customized with a special

  stash spot and some other nice amenities. We decided to give

  Black Pearl Trina’s Lexus to zip around town in.

  The most amazing thing happened. Something that a man

  will never fully be able to understand, the metamorphosis that a

  woman experiences with her body after childbirth. Keep in mind,

  Black Pearl was like my baby sister, or for that matter, my daugh-

  ter. After she had the baby she blossomed into a drop dead gor-

  geous beauty. Her hips spread wide, her butt got big like Wow.

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  One of them ghetto booties with a small taut waistline, punctuat-

  ed by the symmetry of her figure like a deformed Coke bottle.

  Lord, I tried not to look at that child’s rear end. If Trina, Tomica

  and Evette were dime pieces, then Black Pearl was definitely a

  twenty piece with her dark features, deep chocolate skin, perfect

  white teeth with a dazzling smile that could make a man blush

  from standing too close to beauty, not to mention body. She

  named her son Shawn L. The L was named after me. I thought

  that was kind of dope.

  Shawn L. was a cute little booger. Looked just like his mama.

  As soon as he started walking we called him Lil Man. The first

  words that came out his mouth were “muthafucka” and “money.”

  I taught him that.

  *****

  Two months later the remodeling of the Chateau was going

  lovely and I was bringing in so much money that I had to hire

  more workers. August 26, 1992, Lil Cal was found guilty. He was

  sentenced to life in prison. I immediately hired attorneys to work

  on his appeal. The last time we talked he sounded distraught, that

  was my nigga, and with all my newly achieved wealth, there was-

  n’t a damn thing I could do to help him other than send him

  money.

  *****

  May 1994, two years later, I was still in the game, only then,

  I wasn’t a playa, I was coaching from the sidelines, doing big

  thangs. Moving major weight. Tallahassee was small to me, so I

  gave Blazack the entire operation. That way officially it looked like

  I retired, but actually I graduated into the Ivy League right up

  there with the rest of the corporate American thugs. I was doing

  all the things that I promised Trina I would not do. Only now, I

  kept her out of my business. We were starting to grow apart.

  Money can do that to a relationship. I knew of her disdain for me

  selling dope. Even though I promised her I would get out, I could-

  n’t and sometimes I wondered if her cousin, Willie Falcon, would

  let me. I knew too much.

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  To ever yone’s delight, Pearl and I remodeled the old mansion

  into grandiose elegance with sprawling manicured landscaping of

  picturesque green pastures surrounded by a white picket fence that

  gave the estate the appearance of the White House. In the drive-

  way and in the garage sat ten luxury cars including my two prized

  possessions, his and hers Rolls Royce convertible Bentleys sitting

  on dubs. We spent close to three million on remodeling the place.

  I named it “Chateau G.P.”

  For me, this was the testament of a hustler’s grind from hav-

  ing a team of niggas with one common interest: money. Outside,

  I lived lavishly. There was a waterfall connected to the swimming

  pool, and of course, a basketball court. Inside was sixteen thou-

  sand feet of nothing but plush luxur y. Black Pearl had everything

  decorated white with sparkling crystal chandeliers, which accen-

  tuated the marble floors. There was even a white baby grand piano

  that sat in front of the picture window that overlooked the swim-

  ming pool. I installed a state-of-the-art security system with cam-

  eras set up so I could see any part of the house I wanted, both

  inside and out. I even had a secret passageway built in behind the

  bookshelves in my study, just in case I needed to make a quick

  escape if them folks came looking for me. About a year ago, Willie

  Falcon got nabbed in New York. The media had a frenzy. His bust

  made world news. The papers dubbed him the second biggest

  drug lord in the world. They said his empire was worth billions.

  So I continued to make moves with his backing, only now since

  his arrest, for some reason, more tr ust was bestowed to me. My

  millions were crumbs compared to his billions. So I moved

  weight, occasionally I would fly over to Colombia. The job was

  risky as hell, but the rewards were great. I’d never seen so much

  coke in my life. The last time I flew over there, the National

  Guard with the help of the DEA tried to shoot our plane down.

  Scared the shit out of me. That was the last time I flew to

  Colombia.

  *****

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  Chapter Four

  teen

  Chapter Four

  teen

  “Gangsta’s Paradise”

  – Life –

  I pulled the old Cadillac off the shoulder of the old dirt road onto

  the spiraling landscape of my estate as Lil Man sat on my lap. He

  liked to play drive with the steering wheel. Now, at 3 years old, he

  was a bundle of joy. I remember when I was a shorty, my old man

  used to do the same thing with me.

  It was one of them lazy Saturday mornings. I was just return-

  ing from the Mom and Pop grocer y store up the hill. I was driv-

  ing the first car that I purchased from back in the day when I first

  came up on the grind. The ‘73 Caddy was in mint condition. I

  made it a point to never let anyone see me drive my new whips.

  They were like awards given to the most valuable playa. Besides,

  Trina shined for the both of us. There is something about New

  York chicks. Trina drove around town in a customized white

  Bentley on dubs, she and her wild-ass homegirls.

  As usual, as I approached the security gates of the Chateau,

  with its large embellishment decorated in brown stone and white

  marble. Looking at this filled me with pride. I noticed that the

  gates were wide open and thought that was unusual of Major to

  leave them open like that. As soon as I turned into the circular

  driveway, I saw trouble, six unmarked police cars lined up. Spitler

  was standing next to the statue with the waterfall. For some rea-

  son it made him look small. My heart skipped a beat as I franti-

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  cally stashed my heat under the seat. I saw Trina and Black Pearl

  watching from the doorway of the mansion. I got out of the car

  with Lil Man in my arms. I was trying to act nonchalant, but I


  could feel my leg shaking.

  Spitler walked toward me gingerly. I tried to read the expres-

  sion on his face, but didn’t want to look him in his eyes. I learned

  long ago that white cops are easily intimidated by that. Spitler’s

  brown suit was wrinkled like he slept in it for days. His eyes were

  red with dark circles underneath them. A tuft of unruly blond hair

  hung over his left eye. Trina rushed out of the house, the sound of

  her slippers racked the concrete like a woman on the verge of

  panic. She took Lil Man out of my arms and looked at me and

  asked was everything all right. I told her to go back inside. She

  walked away with the baby on her hip and glanced back over her

  shoulder. In the distance, I saw Major grooming a horse watching

  me carefully.

  “How in the fuck did you get through that gate?” I asked

  pointing a finger at him.

  “I had one of my men take a sledgehammer to it,” he said.

  I turned, and vaguely I could see the face of a Black man sit-

  ting in the front seat of one of the cop cars.

  “What, you come to arrest me or sumpin?”

  “Maybe. I thought I told you not to sell that stuff to the white

  kids!” he said angrily jabbing his finger into my chest. I took a step

  backward and braced myself. In the background, I heard the

  sounds of police car doors opening.

  “Man you know damn well I don’t fuck around in Frenchtown

  no mo.”

  “Yeah, but your gang does, Blazack and his crew.”

  “Then that’s who the fuck you need to be harassing! He’s the

  one payin you now, not me. I’m outta the game.” I lied, and we

  both knew it. It was just that I graduated to selling weight, a hus-

  tler’s dream. Ten keys or better and most of my clients were Willie

  Falcon’s people.

  Agitated, Spitler spoke through clenched teeth. “You’re not lis-

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  tening to me. Someone is flooding the town with high quality

  heroin called China White, now we got white kids dying too,” he

  said, walking up to me getting all in my face. I could smell his

  fetid breath. There was something about what he said. Maybe it

  was the way that he said it all in my face. I just lost it.

 

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