by Nicole Marsh
Accepting the unspoken dare, I stride towards her locker without a clear plan in place. By the time my feet stop moving, my mind is a little less crowded with nerves and anticipation. Feeling clear-headed and channeling my resolve, I decide it’s time to clear the air with one of the co-captains of the cheer squad. “Hey Isabelle,” I start.
“What do you want?” She asks, her words dripping with disdain as her dark eyes maintaining a baleful expression.
I sigh. “I don’t want to do this, whatever this is,” I respond, gesturing between us to encompass her rude expression and tone, which appear to be upset about my general existence. “I actually just came over here to say I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. It doesn’t have to be today, or even next week, but I want to get to know you at some point. We have a lot of mutual friends and mutual interests. I think we should try to end high school on a high note, instead of whatever this is.” I repeat the all-encompassing gesture from before to make my point.
Isabelle narrows her eyes. “Is this about Collin? Is this some pathetic attempt to win him over or something, by being nice to me?”
Adamantly, I decline with a shake of my head. “No way. Collin doesn’t want me back, and that really sucks, but this isn’t about him. I just want everything to be cool between us. I’m not sure why, but there was animosity between us from the start, before we even gave each other a chance.” I refrain from using the words I really want to; SHE never gave me a chance before deciding to hate me.
I’m here to make nice and accusations don’t usually smooth things over.
She looks like she’s about to snarl something rude in response, but clamps her lips shut at the last possible second. Her expression isn’t welcoming, but I take her silence as a positive step in the right direction and continue, “Look, I’m not saying we have to become best friends, but we’re going to be on the same squad for the rest of the year, and interacting with the same group of girls. I don’t want there to be any bad blood between us.”
The snarl falls from Isabelle’s lips and her brow scrunches like she’s trying to think of a comeback, but is falling short. Seconds later her features flatten and she nods slowly. “Yeah, you’re right. Maybe we can be acquaintances.” She holds her hand out and I eye it briefly before taking her palm and giving it a brief shake, like we just made a deal.
Isabelle turns on her heel, striding the opposite direction down the hall. She makes it three steps before she twists her upper body to face me slightly. “For what it’s worth. I think Collin is still completely infatuated with you. He only wanted to hang out with me on Monday when you could see us. Now, he’s dodging me, he has been all week.” She takes a deep breath and lets out a sigh. “Whatever happened between you two, maybe he’s not over it, but he’s definitely not over you.”
“Thanks,” I say quietly, the words drifting softly down the hallway separating us, while her statement echoes on repeat in my mind. She nods once, lingering a second longer before continuing down the hall.
I straighten my spine and square my shoulders, shutting down the thoughts of Collin before I stroll in the direction of Classroom 204. My mind keeps drifting back to Isabelle’s words, but I shut that shit down. Instead, I inhale deeply, counting to ten before I exhale. Repeating the process twice more to bring myself to the present.
Right now, isn’t the time to worry about Collin. First, I need to focus on the SAT’s, so I can pursue my dreams. Then, I’ll have the time to figure out a plan to win back my guy.
With renewed determination, I locate room 204 and yank open the door. My long legs carry me to the desk at the head of the room, and the proctor glances up from a crossword puzzle with a warm smile. “Name please?”
“McKenzie Carslyle,” I reply, handing over my student ID for the second time today. “I’m here to ace the SAT’s,” I add on with a bold smile.
Chapter 36
As soon as my trailer comes into sight, I almost topple off my bike. Not from exhaustion—although biking to and from school and spending almost four hours on a test was altogether tiresome—but the fall almost occurs from shock over the small crowd standing on my porch. After a brief pause, I continue pedaling, pumping my legs steadily to carry me down the pitted path, until I reach my girls.
Katie, Heather, and Summer stand in a semi-circle on my mostly dead grass. Three vehicles sit on my yard, slightly blocking them from view, but from what I can see, they appear to be deep in conversation. The second they notice my bike bumping along the tired dirt road, they turn to face me as a unit. Katie squeals and jumps up and down, while Heather and Summer offer me warm smiles.
I hop off my bike, and Katie immediately envelopes me in a hug. I’m forced to cling onto my bike with one hand, as I return the hug halfway. As soon as she lets go, I prop my bike against the side of my tin home, giving the girls my full attention.
“Ahh, McKenzie. How did you do? How were the SAT’s?” Katie asks, ecstatically bouncing on her toes when my eyes land on her.
“They were good,” I reply, hiding my confusion over their presence, not wanting it to leak into my tone. I don’t want to give the impression I’m not excited to see them. I am. I’m just not sure why they came all this way on a Saturday afternoon, waiting in the decrepit trailer park for me to return home.
“That’s it, good?” Summer chimes in with a laugh.
“Well, honestly,” I correct, after a chance to think. “I don’t really remember it.” I giggle, the sound unexpectedly emerging from my throat but relieving some of the stress from the morning. “I feel like the whole exam went by in a blur of anxiety, I couldn’t tell you a single question that I answered, but I hope I did well.” I grimace at the thought of not passing and then being denied acceptance from any of the colleges I’ve already submitted applications to.
“I’m sure you did great,” Heather chimes in, distracting me. “I barely remember anything from my test either, and I did fine. I think it’s just the result of switching from question to question so quickly! You don’t retain any of the information, you just answer on autopilot.”
“I’m sure you were fantastic and we’ll all be at the same college together next year. Buuut that’s not why we’re here,” Katie squeals excitedly, clapping and bouncing like she can’t wait to surprise me with something.
“Ok, what’s going on?” I ask, suddenly nervous about the reason behind the crowd gathered in the middle of my dead grass. My eyes scan the three girls, Heather’s expression is blank, and Summer smirks. The second my eyes land on Katie, she steps towards me, like it was the moment she was waiting for.
She uses a surprisingly strong grip on my upper bicep to drag me towards the trunk of her car. Popping it open with her fob, we wait as the metal slowly rises. Anticipation builds inside me during the delay, I’m anxious to see the reason for my friends’ presence.
The trunk finally opens and reveals a pile of… fabric?
“What is that?” I ask, unable to hide my confusion from my expression or tone.
Katie squeals instead of answering and the rest of the girls join us, also opening their trunks to reveal a bunch of random items. My eyes take in the objects, spotting a mirror, cans of paint and what looks to be other painting supplies, a box with a picture of a dining table on its side, and a few boxes with unknown contents.
“What is all this for?” I ask as my eyes flit between the items, then move to take in each of the girls excited faces.
“It’s to remodel your trailer!” Summer exclaims, her expression giddy as she waves her hand at the trunk of her large vehicle like she’s Vanna White.
“This is for my trailer?” I ask, perplexed as I stare into the full trunks of their vehicles.
“Yes, girl,” Katie replies happily. “We’re here to spruce up the place. This,” she pauses gesturing at the vehicles. “Is to outfit your trailer so it’s fit for the queen that lives there.”
“Wow,” I respond, unsure what to add, overwhelmed by their unexpected p
resence and even more unexpected generosity.
“Well, we’re wasting daylight,” Katie drawls out, sounding like a man in an old western movie. “We need to start slinging paint before the sun sets. That way we can leave all the windows down to help it dry!”
“I also brought a fan to speed up the drying process!” Heather chimes in.
“Why don’t we start unloading all the paint stuff and get to work?” Summer instructs, clearly channeling her inner cheer captain to get us organized.
The four of us make quick work unloading all of the paint and supplies, piling them into the center of my living room. Katie surveys the trailer before chiming in again, “I think we should remove the old table and all the couch cushions, then we can cover the rest in plastic while we paint.”
“Okay, are you attached to this table at all?” Summer asks, dragging her eyes from the chipped and stained oak to raise a brow at me. “We brought you a new one that has a banquette so you can have more seating.”
“And its super cute! White with a pink floral cushion,” Katie adds.
“I would just hate to get rid of this, if it’s important to you,” Summer continues, eyeing my junky table like maybe it’s a family heirloom or something.
“No, I’m not attached to the table,” I say with a laugh. This whole situation feels surreal, like Katie read my mind when I thought this place seemed less like a home and more like a place to sleep and store my things. Then, in typical Katie fashion, she came up with a solution to fix the problem. “I’ll help you carry the table to the dumpster,” I tack on.
“No, Heather can help her. I want to show you the paint I bought,” Katie directs, dragging me to join her. She whips a screwdriver out of her back pocket, the movement erratic and the pointed tip flailing through the air. I fight the urge to flinch, worried she’s going to take my eye out, but thankfully she’s able to keep her grip and my eyes remain intact. “Okay so I made a few executive decisions on the colors. I hope you like them... This one is for the main area,” she declares, prying the can open to reveal a soft, sage green.
“Oh, I love it,” I reply. Green has been one of my favorite colors recently, and although this isn’t the exact shade I see whenever I close my eyes, it’s beautiful and calming. “This will be super nice for the main space,” I state.
Katie grins under my approval, moving to the next tin. “This is for the bathroom,” she says, grabbing a smaller can of paint. She pries off the top, revealing a sunshine yellow color. Without giving me a chance to voice my thoughts, she continues, “And lastly, for the bedroom.” The final tin contains a beautiful sky-blue color.
“I love all of these! You did a great job, Katie. Thank you so much,” I state, earnestly. “Don’t we need like a primer or something though, before we paint?”
I’ve never painted the inside of a house before, but I remember overhearing Mr. Mouchard complaining about the expenses associated with painting. He was trying to rejuvenate the lobby, but decided it cost too much to buy both paint and primer, which he stated was basically just double paint and the motel’s money would be better spent elsewhere.
My words cause Katie to frown and critically eye the dingy, white walls in my trailer. “Honestly, this kind of looks like primer that someone put up and never painted over,” she responds. “I think since its white, we should be fine without the primer.”
I shrug and nod, trusting her judgement. Honestly, I think even if we messed up the paint, it was be a real accomplishment to make the inside of the trailer uglier than it already is.
Heather and Summer return from the dumpster shortly after Katie reveals the paint colors she’s chosen. The four of us use plastic and blue tape to safeguard my counters and furniture from our painting efforts. Katie even brought white coveralls for each of us to wear. After we pull them over our clothes, she makes us pose for half a dozen photos and selfies together before allowing us to begin.
Katie checks her phone several times, swiftly tapping out a few responses before joining the painting party. I watch her as I dip my foam roller into the pan, coating it with the sage green paint. “Is everything okay?” I finally ask when the rounded sponge is covered and ready to be applied to the wall.
Her eyes drift up from her phone distractedly. “Uh, yes. Just offering some advice on how to ask for forgiveness.”
“Is it Alex?” I ask, her response piquing my curiosity.
“What?” She asks, her eyebrows raising into her hairline. “No,” she quickly replies. “Just an old friend, it’s no big deal.” She puts her phone in her back pocket and picks up her own roller.
I shrug off the strange reaction, applying paint to the wall in firm, steady strokes. Despite Katie’s brush off, I notice her continuing to subtly check her phone. I don’t ask about it again though, not wanting to push if she isn’t ready to share.
Together, the four of us make short work of applying a layer of the sage green paint to the main room. Even though it’s a bit patchy in places, it already makes the entire place feel warmer. Like a place I actually want to spend time in. I voice these thoughts aloud and Katie turns to critically eye our work.
“I love it! I can’t wait to get the rest of the décor we brought set up in here as well. Why don’t we split up for the bathroom and bedroom? Then after we can take a brief break for lunch while the paint dries. We’ll definitely need to do two coats,” Katie directs, instructing our little crew.
“We can take the bathroom,” Summer says, volunteering herself and Heather to paint the smaller room.
“Sounds good to me,” I agree with a nod.
Grabbing a fresh roller and the tin with the blue paint, I wander into the bedroom at the very back of the trailer. Katie follows behind slowly and I spot her phone in her hands again, her fingers flying over the screen like she’s using the piece of technology to plan world domination.
Although my curiosity is eating me alive, I ignore her, and focus on applying paint to my bedroom wall as evenly as possible. Soon after, Katie picks up her own brush and joins me.
We make it halfway across the walls, when Heather and Summer join us, already finished with the bathroom paint. Together we create an indoor sky on my walls, coating them in soft blue, the same hue as a warm summer day.
With the walls covered, I take a step back and admire our handiwork. It’s not perfect, but it’s already an improvement. The potential of the trailer is evident, even under a simple coat of paint. Gratitude floods me, as I imagine what it will be like to live here once we finish.
Katie is on her phone again, but the second she feels my eyes on her, she places it back into her pocket. “Let’s take a quick break before we apply the second coat. I brought sandwiches,” she states in her usual chipper voice.
“I’ll set up the fan in the main room,” Summer adds, dashing out of my bedroom.
Surveying the room one last time, I open my windows, then file out of the trailer behind the girls. The four of us clamber in Summer’s massive SUV, which looks almost identical to Collin’s. Heather and Summer take the front, and Katie joins me in the back seat. I stretch my legs out while she opens a bag from the deli downtown, passing out wrapped bundles containing sandwiches.
Silence fills the car as we scarf down our food, then remain for a few extra minutes to rest. Painting is hard work, and my muscles are already tired and achy after applying a single coat to the rooms in my small space. “How long do we have to wait for the paint to dry?” I ask.
Summer checks her pretty, rose gold watch, rolling up the sleeve of her coveralls to inspect the shiny glass face. “It’s been almost an hour for the living room already. I think we should be good to paint the next coat soon.”
“I want to thank you all for doing this,” I say, sincerity evident in my words. My eyes start to tear up as I think about the forethought and effort necessary to plan this. I still can’t believe that someone would do this for me. “It already looks like a whole new trailer, with just a coat of paint,�
� I add.
Katie squeezes my hand, with a warm grin before she hops out of the SUV. The rest of us follow suit, wandering to the hood of the car, our eyes focused on the ancient, tin trailer resting on the grass before us. “This means so much to me and I don’t know how to thank you,” I whisper, making eye contact with each of the girls.
“It was nothing,” Summer says, shooting me a warm smile.
Heather wraps her arm around me and gives me a brief side squeeze. “Girl, this is what it means to be part of a team,” she says like it’s the most obvious answer in the world.
“You’re welcome to stay with me any time, Kenz, but everyone should have a place that feels like home, and now you do,” Katie says simply, like what she arranged wasn’t magnificent. But that’s just the way Katie is, she thinks of others without expecting anything in return, like Collin.
His name briefly sours my happiness. My heart turning heavy with the reminder of how much I fucked up, by simply refusing to admit the truth to Collin sooner. Pushing aside the emotion, I focus on the future.
From this day forward, all I can do is commit to being the best person I can. To treating those around me with kindness, because it’s how everyone deserves to be treated. With Collin, or without, I know my future is somewhere far beyond the confines of this trailer park.
“I guess it’s time to resume painting,” I finally say, forcing some enthusiasm into my voice.
“Can we get another pic?” Katie asks, excitedly as we traipse into the trailer and create a small circle around the paint pan, watching as she pours the sage colored paint inside so we can resume.
Summer, Heather and I groan in unison, “No.”
Then the four of us giggle and pick up our roller brushes to continue reclaiming the rooms inside the trailer. Transforming this hunk of junk into my home.
