by Steph Poe
My heart is pounding in my chest. You're mine. I love the sound of that. I want to be his, in every way possible. I feel that familiar, warm flush creeping on my chest. I'm ready to burst with emotions. I can't hold it in any longer. "I love you, Cal," I whisper. His eyes soften and he continues to gaze at me but doesn't say anything for a minute, but it's the longest minute of my life. Did I make a mistake?
He brings his lips down and presses the softest kiss against my lips. "I love you too, baby." His lips come crashing down harder, more urgently this time. It's as if he wants to infuse my mouth with the power of his love.
I've never felt more alive than I do now. Our lips move together in perfect rhythm. He loves me. I love him. In this moment, I have no worries or cares in the world. I have the man I've been waiting for and he loves me.
*****
At the Spearman wedding, Cal stands off to the side like my own personal bodyguard. He's wearing a fitted, charcoal gray suit with a white button down shirt with the top two buttons undone. His hair is slicked back today with a bit of product to hold it in place. He looks like he stepped right off the set of a cologne commercial. I try my damndest to not be distracted by him, but it's nearly impossible.
As I stand in the back of the gardens, watching the bride and groom say their vows, I feel eyes on me. I look over to see Cal studying me. When my eyes meet his, I can't contain my smile and he returns one to match mine. I mouth, "I love you," to him and he mouths the same to me. I turn back to face the ceremony, feeling cheesy and in love and not giving a damn if anyone else knows it.
I've planned many weddings and witnessed many different vows from many different kinds of people. I've always felt a sense of elation when the ceremony gets to the vows. It's when the bride and groom are speaking to each other, professing their love and promises to one another.
Some couples choose to say the traditional vows, the "To have and to hold, for as long as we both shall live," and "To love and to cherish, all the days of my life." Those traditional vows are great for most people. But there is something so wonderful when a couple writes their own vows. They are willing to put their heart and feelings out in the open, in front of friends and family. It feels like the ultimate level of being vulnerable. I especially enjoy the comedic factor in self written vows, like, "I promise to love and cherish you always, even when you leave the empty milk carton in the fridge," or "I promise to laugh at all of your terribly offensive jokes."
I often wonder in this moment in the ceremony what vows I will take some day. I've never been great at public speaking. I'm especially not very good at being vulnerable. My eyes lock on Cal again and he's watching the bride and groom say their vows. He looks transfixed. Perhaps he's also thinking about vows that he might say someday. Maybe vows that he will say to me one day. My heart flutters at the thought of Cal's golden brown eyes looking deep into mine and watching his beautiful, full lips form the promises that I want to hear.
I look away from him and turn my focus back to the ceremony. It's too soon for me to be thinking about Cal and I getting married, but it's hard not to get carried away when witnessing a happy couple say their vows. I let out a sigh and shake my head at my wayward thoughts. Just then I feel warmth at my back and I know it's him.
Two strong arms touch the sides of my shoulders and I feel his breath on my ear as he nibbles on my lobe. His touch makes me tingle all over. I lean my back into his broad chest and he wraps his arms around me, nuzzling into my neck. "I couldn't resist touching you. The look on your face, watching something as meaningful as wedding vows given by two people absolutely in love is compelling. I'm mesmerized by you, Lake Maxwell," his hushed voice is husky and filled with need.
I reach my hand behind me and caress the stubble on his cheek. I tilt my head back and press a kiss against the corner of his lips. This moment is perfect. Maybe a little unprofessional, seeing how I'm the wedding planner and should be a little more focused. In all honesty, no one is looking at us. Everyone is focused on the bride and groom.
The pastor pronounces the couple husband and wife and they kiss. Everyone begins their applause and Cal releases me then and walks back to his post, back on bodyguard duty. Thankfully there have been no signs of Chris. In fact, I haven't even thought about Chris all day and I know it's because Cal is here with me.
I'm really surprised at myself and how well I'm adjusting to loving someone again. For a while after what happened, I closed myself off to men. I've had one relationship since Chris, and it only lasted a few short months. I didn't feel one-tenth of the way I feel about him as I feel for Cal. I broke it off because I panicked and convinced myself that guy was going to hurt me like Chris did.
It was something silly that brought it on. The guy's name was Jim. Jim was an easy guy to be with. We had a simple relationship, lots of dinner and movie dates. I enjoyed being with him, but there wasn't the passion that I wanted. Sex was very much the same each time, but back then, that's what I needed to feel safe.
One day when we were in his bed making out, he grabbed something out of his bedside table. I heard them before I saw them and I shot up out of the bed. He was holding a pair of pink, fuzzy handcuffs and had a harmless look on his face. I panicked. The thought of being handcuffed brought back the nightmare of being tied up. I freaked out on him, asking why he thought I would want that. He innocently told me he just wanted to spice things up. I told him it wasn't going to work out and broke it off with him with no other explanation. I never told him what happened with Chris, so he had no idea why I was so freaked out. It really wasn't fair to him, but I couldn't handle it well at the time. I can only hope that the same thing doesn't happen in my relationship with Cal.
Ashton approaches me with a wide grin on her face. "Another successful ceremony." She has on a navy shirtdress with a gold belt accentuating her small waist. Her long brown hair is wavy and hangs loosely down her back. She pulls one side of her hair over her shoulder. "Everything is ready for cocktail hour in the gardens."
I turn and smile at her. "Okay, great. You stay and oversee cocktail hour and I'm going to go see that the caterer is on track for dinner in the river house by seven."
I make my way through the gardens and into the river house. The room is a vision of white. All of the round table linens are a crisp, clean white. The chairs have white chair covers with white satin bows tied around the backs of each one. Each table has a slightly different centerpiece of white roses, calla lilies, and baby's breath. There are several candles surrounding each flower display. There's a wall of windows that overlooks the White River and the beautiful downtown skyline.
I walk around each table, inspecting every detail as I move. I slightly rotate a centerpiece and straighten a napkin here and there. Everything should be perfect for each guest when they are seated. The sweetheart table that only seats the bride and groom receives a meticulous inspection. I even see a small water spot on the bride's wine glass that I quickly remove with a napkin. Once my inspection is complete, I head for the kitchen to find the catering manager.
I'm assured that dinner will start promptly at seven. Satisfied with everything in the reception area, I make my way back to the gardens to see how cocktail hour is progressing. The one hundred and twenty guests are mingling and nibbling happily on finger foods and drinking champagne from crystal flutes. There are about twenty small round high tables covered in the same white linens with satin ribbons tied around the base. The tables are meant for guests to set their drinks or plates down while they stand and converse. There are also five white couches where guests can sit down and rest before heading into the dining area.
Everyone appears to be relaxed and enjoying themselves. I spot Ashton talking to Cal off to the side of the crowd. She catches my eye and then points her finger in my direction and then Cal turns and begins walking towards me. He looks a little perturbed.
"Hey, what's up?" I ask him, concerned at his expression.
"I just got a call from my security company
. The alarm at my studio went off and the police are there now. They wouldn't tell me anything else. It's probably just a false alarm, but I've got to go check it out. Are you gonna be okay with me leaving?" He reaches up and holds onto my shoulders while studying me with wide eyes.
"Yeah, I'm fine, really. Go take care of things." I give him a reassuring smile. I have felt so safe with him being here, but I know he needs to take care of his business. He kisses me on the lips quickly and tells me he'll call me later before walking away. I feel like a little piece of me is leaving with him. I don't have time to fret about it because it's almost seven and I need to get all of these guests seated in time for dinner to be served.
Chapter 16
The evening winds down. The reception goes as planned, the dinner of skirt steak with chimi-churri sauce and potato gratin is a hit. The deejay plays great music and kept everyone dancing. The final moment of the evening is when everyone watches the bride and groom leave in their getaway car, which in this case is an all-white limousine. The bride was obsessed with white. Everything was white. A nice, clean look, but I prefer some color. Of course, this was her wedding and my job is to please the bride, despite my own preferences.
Ashton and I are standing away from the guests crowded around the limo and reflecting on the day.
"Great job today, Ash. Everything was perfect." I sling my arm around her shoulder.
"I really love doing this. I'm so glad you made me a part of this. Best job in the world!" She squeezes my waist.
"Speaking of jobs, I've been wanting to discuss something with you." I turn to face her. "I really could not do this without you. Lake Maxwell Events is a success and you are a very important part of it. You've been the best assistant I could ask for, and I know you will be an even better partner."
"Really? Seriously? You're gonna make me partner?" She's clapping her hands together and jumping up and down like an excited kid being told they're going to Disneyland. She gives me the biggest hug. "Thank you so much, Lake!"
"We can finalize the details next week. Now let's go get a drink."
*****
We text Cal and Matt to come meet us at Bernstein's. I haven't heard back from Cal since he left to go check on his studio. I'm starting to get concerned that maybe something is really wrong. If the police were there, it could be serious.
We head into the bar to find a table. For a Saturday night, the bar is pretty empty, which I'm happy about. For someone whose job is to bring crowds of people together to celebrate big events, I'm really not a fan of big crowds. So when my work day is over, I prefer small groups, or party of one. I like my alone time. People stress me out sometimes.
Ashton chooses a low table surrounded by an L shaped brown leather couch. A single candle illuminates the table while soft music plays in the background.
A waiter who looks about sixteen, although I know he's at least twenty-one, comes over to take our drink order. We're both hungry, seeing as how it's hard to take a break and eat when you're trying to ensure that your event goes smoothly. We order the bourbon maple bacon and fried artichoke hearts appetizers to share.
"Have you heard back from Cal yet?" Ashton asks.
I pick up my cell phone and see that he still hasn't sent me a message. "No. I think I'm going to call him. I'm a little worried." I get up from my seat to go outside to make the call right when Matt arrives. He gives me a quick kiss on my cheek as I'm on my way out. The music isn't too loud in the bar, but I need some privacy.
I got a bad feeling as soon as Cal received the call about the alarm going off. My first thought was Chris, although I don't know how he would have even found out about us. Chris was always a jealous boyfriend. Perhaps he came back to try to get me back, but then he found out about me and Cal, and decided to do something stupid like break into Cal's studio.
I walk out to the sidewalk and dial Cal's number. The phone rings twice before he picks up.
"Hey Lake, I was just about to call you," he sounds out of breath.
"Is everything okay?" I lean up against the building. The temperature has dropped and I'm not sure if that's why I have goose bumps or it's from the tone of his voice.
"Yeah, everything's fine. The police think it was some kids messing around in the alley behind the studio. One of the employees next door said he saw some kids back there when he was taking out the trash. The back window was busted, but nothing else was broken or missing from inside. I'm on my way over now. We can talk about it more when I get there."
I end the call and head back inside. Luckily our table is located right next to a gas fireplace because I'm anxious to be rid of my chill. Ashton and Matt are cuddling and they look so damn happy, I can't help but smile at them.
Joking, I say, "All right guys, get a room."
Matt says, "Sorry, Lake. Can't keep my hands off this one."
Ashton pulls her head away from Matt's chest to look up at me. "Is Cal on his way?"
"Yeah, he is. He said the police think some kids were messing around in the alley behind the studio. He has a broken window, but that's all." I sit down next to Ashton and right next to the fireplace. I take a sip of my red wine. It's sweet, tasting more like grape juice than wine.
"What happened?" Matt asks me. I explain everything I know to him. I leave out the fact that I'm worried that Chris may have something to do with this. Even though the police think it was kids messing around, I can't shake this feeling that it could be Chris. Plus, I know Matt knows nothing about what happened to me. I don't want to tell anyone else about him if I don't need to. I just want him to go away.
My anxiety is going crazy waiting for Cal. I need more details about what happened. I need to tell him that I fear Chris may have something to do with it. I decide to change the subject. "So, Matt, I haven't been told much about you. What do you do?"
Matt takes a swig of his bottle of beer. "I'm a divorce lawyer at Bryce and Hawthorne. I've been working there since I graduated law school. So if any of your clients ever need legal counsel, I'm your man." He points his beer bottle towards me and flashes me a sly grin showcasing a set of perfect teeth. I wonder if Cal's brother, the dentist, worked on Matt's teeth, too.
"I'll keep that in mind." My eyes focus on the door, waiting to see the moment Cal walks through. I'm sitting on the edge of the couch, prepared to jump up and go to him when he arrives. I feel eyes on me and I turn back to Ashton and Matt who have concerned looks on their faces.
I drop my eyes to my hands which are now fiddling with my watch. "I'm sorry I'm being rude to you guys. I'm just really worried and feel like I can't sit still." I stand up and tell them I'm going to go wait for Cal outside.
I step back out into the cool evening and resume my position against the wall. I lean my back against the brick and cross my arms over my chest and basically hug myself to try to keep warm. I release a slow breath which comes out like a small puff of smoke. It's then I realize that the temperature has really dropped and standing outside with only my thin jacket on, waiting for Cal was probably not my best idea.
I study the people walking past me to distract myself from the cold. There is a couple holding hands and looking lost in their own little world, obviously in love. Then there are a few women laughing and joking with each other, probably enjoying a fun girls night out. My eyes follow them and I chuckle at their super short skirts and ridiculous high heels. If I were wearing that, I'd be freezing more than just my ass off. A frozen vagina doesn't appeal to me at all.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a man approaching me, and assuming it's Cal, I turn my body towards him and a big smile spreads across my cold face. Upon recognition, however, the sound of my heart rate increasing is deafening. My smile quickly fades and my eyes widen with shock. Fear courses through my veins and I'm frozen in place. I want to run but I can't seem to move any part of me.
He's staring at me with those intense blue eyes and he has a shit-eating grin on his handsome face. "Darling." Hearing that one word in that voice mak
es me feel like I'm going to vomit. "Did you get my letter?" He steps closer to me until we're only about a foot apart. I can smell his breath which is a mixture of whiskey and cigarettes, and it stings my nostrils.
I can't speak. I'm frozen with fear. My hands are clammy despite the rest of my body being cold. All I can do is pray that he won't hurt me because there are too many people around us. My vision is a little blurry, but I'm not sure why because I have only had a sip of wine.
Chris starts talking and even though he's close to me, his words sound distant. I only hear part of what he is saying.
"..college, Cal and I used to share.."
What is he saying? Did he just say Cal?
He raises his hand and reaches out to grab my arm. Everything is happening in slow motion. I watch his arm rise and move toward my arm and I want to pull away, but I'm still stuck in my current position. I don't want him touching me. I don't want him to grab me and pull me away. I start to feel lightheaded. Everything starts spinning and all I can do is stare at the unwanted hand coming towards me. The last thing I see is that hand quickly being yanked away before I lose consciousness.
*****
I can't move my arms. Everything is dark. I can't open my eyes. I hear voices. They sound so far away. I can't move my legs. I'm cold. So cold. I want to wrap my arms around myself to get warmth, but I can't move my arms. They're bound. I'm tied up. No. Not again!
"Lake, baby. Wake up." The familiar voice warms me inside. A warm hand rests on my shoulder. It's comforting to me. It feels like I'm safe. I'm not tied up. I'm safe. My butt feels so cold. I'm sitting on something cold and hard. I'm cold everywhere except where the warm hand is touching my shoulder. My face feels cold. I tell my left hand to reach up and touch the hand on my shoulder, but it stops and goes to my head. I suddenly am aware of an unbearable pain.
"Shit, my head. It hurts so bad," I barely hear myself whisper.
