Johnny scrunched up his face in laughter, "You must be kidding, underwear! I got the picture!"
Mike shrugged, "I didn't know what to do!"
"That's life!" Johnny said, patting Mike on the shoulder. Both men shrugged it off.
"Hey Johnny!" it was Denny for some reason, also in the alley. The boy ran up to the two older men with a spring in his creepy steps. "Hey Mike!"
"Oh hey Denny!" Johnny greeted.
Denny had the football with him.
"You guys want to play some football?" he asked cheerfully.
"I gotta go see Michelle in a little bit," Mike said, avoiding Denny's invitation the best he could, "...to uh, make out with her. So I'm sorry."
Denny wasn't buying it. "Come on!" he pleaded.
Johnny agreed. "Come on! Let's do it! Come on!" he said.
"All right, all right whatever." Mike grabbed the football from Denny.
"Let's go for it!" Johnny said, and moved into position.
"I'm going out!" Denny proclaimed excitedly, running a few paces opposite of Mike. Mike threw him the ball and Denny caught it happily.
The three friends stood a meter apart from one another, tossing a football around in the alley like friends do.
"I'm sorry you had to see that." Mike said, throwing the ball to Johnny.
"I'm not...sorry!" Denny said, and the three laughed. "Studying right!"
"Yeah...well..."
"I don't study like that."
Johnny smiled, "He doesn't!"
"Hey Denny, what's up!"
It was Mark, who was also there, in the brick alley way, for some reason.
"Hey what's up Mark!"
"Oh hi, Mark!" Johnny greeted, throwing him the ball.
"What's up Mark?" Mike asked.
"Not to much," Mark replied with a handsome smile, "how about you guys?"
"He's just telling us about an underwear issue he had." Denny started mischievously
"Dude! Don't worry! Don't--" Mike tried to stop him, but it was all ready out. Mark curled his face in disgust.
"Underwear?" he asked, "What's that?"
"It's embarrassing man, I don't want to get into it." Mike replied sheepishly.
"Underwear man? Come on!"
And to emphasize the point, Mark pushed Mike the fuck over into a bunch of trash cans The other three men tried to break his fall, but Mike hit the ground. Hard.
"Oh god!" Mike screamed in pain.
"Are you OK!?" all three asked in near unison, helping him up.
"I'm fine!"
"Are you sure?" Johnny asked, reaching for his arm to pull him up.
"Uh-huh." Mike assured, slowly getting to his feet.
"You want to see doctor?" Johnny asked.
"No, no. I'm good. I'm all right." Mike said, and Mark wrapped the man's arms around his shoulders. "I'm fine."
"Mark, why don't you take him home and Mike, listen, if you need anything call me. Anytime, all right?" Johnny said, patting Mike on the shoulder. "All right?"
"Yeah!" Mike moaned.
"See you guys!" Johnny called out as they left.
"See you guys!" Denny also called out as they left.
Denny sighed and reached for the football. He was still up for another round, but Johnny was done for the day.
"Let's go home, Denny." he said, a reassuring hand over the young man's shoulder.
And the two walked home from the brick alley.
CHAPTER TWELVE
As the door to Lisa's apartment swung open, she couldn't help but notice that something seemed...off about her mother. They'd just returned from another mother-daughter excursion, their thirteenth that week, and Claudette had hardly spoken a word the whole afternoon.
"You look really tired today, Mom," Lisa said, "Are you feeling OK?"
Claudette raised a dismissive hand. "I didn't get much sleep last night."
"Why not? What's wrong?"
"You remember my friend, Sherley Hamilton?"
Lisa did. She was an old lady, like her mother.
"Uh-huh."
"She wants to buy a new house, so I asked Johnny if he could help her with the down payment!"
Perfectly reasonable request, thought Lisa. Future husbands (good ones) pay for their wives mother's friend's house's down payments. Simple as that.
"All he can tell me it's an awkward situation," Claudette continued, "I expected your husband to be a little more generous."
Lisa rolled her eyes. "He's not my husband."
"I know, I know!" Claudette said, walking towards the couch, "but Johnny is part of our family!"
"Mom, I don't love Johnny anymore." Lisa said for what felt like the thirty-third time in about an hour. When were people going to get it through their heads!
"I don't even like him!", she added.
It was Claudette's turn to roll her eyes.
Lisa knew exactly what it would take to force her mother to take her seriously.
"I had sex with someone else." she said.
"You can't be serious!"
Meanwhile, Johnny was lurking by the stairs the whole time, listening to everything everyone was saying like a master spy. What was it Lisa had just said? She slept with someone else? He didn't believe it. Wouldn't. Not Lisa, not his Lisa. He kept spying, stealthy like a raven in the night.
Lisa sighed. "You don't understand."
"Who? Who is it?" Claudette asked.
"I don't want to talk about it." Lisa hardly ever wanted to talk about anything, ever. Yet, oddly, she always ended up complaining at length to all her friends and family at every opportunity. It was one of Lisa's more enigmatic features, and it drove Johnny (and, indeed, Mark, Johnny's best friend) absolutely wild.
"You don't want to talk about it? Then why did you bring it up in the first place!" Claudette had a knack for pointing things out like that. Lisa couldn't stand it.
"I don't know."
"You don't know?" Claudette shook her head, "if you think I'm tired today, wait till you see me tomorrow!"
Claudette was also adept at spinning terrifying threats. She started making for the door.
"Are you coming to the party?" Lisa asked.
"I suppose so..."
And with that, having stopped in the house for about three minutes, the two ladies were gone, left to resume their all-day excursion. Leaving Johnny alone in the house.
"How can they say this about me?" he said aloud, to no one. "I don't believe it! I show them! I will record everything!"
He couldn't believe that Lisa would ever be unfaithful to him, but if she was, he needed to know for sure. And there was one bullet-proof way of finding out.
He made his way, slyly for some reason, over to the phone.
From out of his pocket he withdrew a massive tape recorder and began to carefully connect it to the phone line. Johnny always kept the recorder at close reach in case a situation like this might arise, as it did once in the home country.
Slowly he connected the wires. Red to red, yellow to yellow, green to blue. He realized his mistake with the green wire and connected it to the green socket. The blue wire then went into the blue socket as it should have all along. The wiring complete, he replaced the shell of the machine, so as not to arouse suspicion.
He took a tape from his shirt pocket and placed it in. A quick check, and it was hidden under the table.
He adjusted the books and plant on the table, ensuring it was just as he had left it.
There. It was done. He would record everything.
With that, Johnny smiled a sneaky smile and crept up the staircase, awaiting Lisa's return.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Johnny sat and poured himself a glass of water. "I don't understand women, do you Peter?"
Peter, who was a psychologist and one of Johnny's closest friends apparently, sat next to Johnny. He had Harry Potter glasses and looked like a sweaty intellectual.
"No man does!" he said through a shrug, "what's the problem?"
&n
bsp; "They never say what they mean, and they always play games." Johnny said, placing the water pitcher on the floor.
"Okay..." Peter said, "What do you mean?"
"I have a serious problem with Lisa. I don't think she's faithful to me. In fact, I know she isn't."
"Lisa? Are you sure?" It didn't come as to much of a surprise to Peter. She'd tried to make it with him too. But Peter was gay and he'd refused her. He was putting up the front of shock now for Johnny's benefit.
"Yeah, I'm sure." Johnny said, sadly, "I overheard a conversation with her and her mother."
"This is Lisa we're talking about?" Peter feigned disbelief. "I don't know what to say!"
"But you are psychologist! Do you have some advice?" Johnny always found Peter, being a trained psychologist, to be full of wisdom. This wasn't the first time he'd come to his friend as an unofficial patient.
Peter stood up. "It's a complicated situation Johnny...I mean you're my friend. I don't want to get between you and Lisa." He all ready gone down that road. And lost. "Look, if you want to. You should confront her!"
"I can't confront her!" Johnny shot back, "I want to give her second chance, after all, she's my future wife! You know what they say! Love is blind!" He took a sip.
"You got a lot of faith in Lisa. Sometimes, life gets complicated, the unexpected can happen." Peter paused to consider his words. "When it does...you just gotta deal with it."
This was why Johnny kept Peter around. He always had generic, arbitrary advice for any situation.
A ringing came at the door.
"Did you hear the door?" Peter asked, referring to the ringing at the door.
Johnny shrugged. "Yeah..." He placed his glass down and went to open it.
"Oh hi, Mark!" It was Mark, Johnny's best friend. "Come in!"
"Oh hi, Johnny! Hey Peter!"
"We're just talking about women..." Johnny said, sitting back down.
"Women, man. Women just confuse me!" Mark said, letting out a sigh as he sat down. "I have a girl...but she's married! I mean she's very attractive, it's just...it's driving me crazy." Even though bringing up his affair in front of Johnny was risky, he really needed guidance. Guidance that he hoped that Peter, trained psychologist, could provide.
"Why didn't you mention this before?" Peter inquired, "I mean, is it anyone I know?"
"Nah, man. You don't know her."
"Can I meet her?" Johnny asked like a creep. Denny was beginning to rub off on him.
"I don't think so. It's an awkward situation."
"You mean she's too old, or you think I would take her away from you!" Johnny joked. Everyone laughed. Good joke. Women who are too old are gross! Friends stealing women, doubly so!
"I have my own problems." Johnny said.
"Tell me about your problems, Johnny." Peter sat down himself.
As much as Johnny benefited from Peter's experience as a psychologist, he also hated it for some reason. "Peter! You always play psychologist with us!"
"Look, I'm just your friend. I'm just worried about you."
"Lisa's teasing me about weather we are going to get married or not. And...we didn't make love in a while. And I don't know what to do!"
Mark took all this in and a sudden surge of guilt flooded him. Were Johnny's problems somehow...his fault?
"You never really know," Peter said, "I mean, look, you should tell her about your feelings OK? You shouldn't hide them. You two have been together forever. You can work out anything as long as you talk about it."
"Not always!" Johnny retorted.
"People are people, sometimes they just can't see their own faults!"
Johnny smiled. Once again, Peter always knew the perfect cliched truism to boost his spirits.
Mark felt the topic was dangerously close to his affair with Lisa, so he spoke up.
"Hey, I'm thinking of moving to a bigger place, man. I'm making some good money."
Peter didn't seem to take the hint.
"Look, you should tell her the truth. I mean, you're in this for your girl right?"
"Yeah, right Peter. Hahaha." Johnny laughed, "Is she getting a divorce Mark?"
"You guys are too much!" Mark quickly changed the subject again, "Hey are you running um, Bay to Breakers this year?"
"I am, sure." Johnny said.
Peter wasn't as enthusiastic, "I'm not doing it this year." he said, standing and walking towards the mantle.
"Chicken, Peter! You are just a little chicken!" Johnny said, and then he started chirping. "Cheepcheepcheep cheep cheep cheeeeeeeppppp!" he howled wildly.
"Who you calling chicken? I just don't like all the weirdos. There's too many weirdos there." Peter stammered.
Johnny, who had just stopped chirping manically, didn't know what he meant by 'weirdos'.
"I don't mind. Mark, remember the one with big tits? The blondie one?"
"No, how about the one with the bridal gown with the sign?"
"Oh oh yeah!" Johnny laughed, "'Will you marry me?' Hahaha! I thought I would take her up on it! Hahaha!"
"I never ate so much!" Mark said.
"Yeah, the barbeque chicken was delicious rice." Johnny agreed.
"That's exactly my point, you're both weird!" Peter said, sitting down again. "You guys want to play cards?"
"No, we can't!" Johnny said, "I expect Lisa any minute." Lisa had a strict no card playing policy.
"Hey come on, man! Who's the king of the house!" Mark said. Certainly Johnny didn't respect Lisa's wishes above his own!
"Yeah, this is what she's like before you get married!" Peter said, "Speaking...how did you ever meet Lisa? You never told us."
"Oh, that's a very interesting story."
Mark and Peter leaned in to what was sure to be an extremely worthwhile story.
Johnny continued. "When I moved to San Francisco, um, with two suit cases and I didn't know anyone and I have...I hit YMCA with a two-thousand dollar cheque which I couldn't cash."
"Why not?" Mark asked.
"Well because it was an out of state bank. Anyway, I was working as a bus boy in hotel and, uh, she was sitting drinking her coffee and she was so beautiful, and I say hi to her. That's how we met."
"So, I mean..." Mark started, not wanting to offend his friend, "What's the interesting part?"
"Well the interesting part is that on our first date, she paid for dinner!"
"What!" Mark exclaimed. "No tips from your job!" That was interesting. A woman pay for a meal, with her own money?
"Whatever! You guys wanna eat something?" Johnny invited. Both men shook their heads. So Johnny just left the room silently.
Just as he exited, the door opened.
And Lisa walked in.
Mark turned to meet her gaze. Their eyes locked. The passion was electric, and Peter couldn't help but pick up on it.
"Hey guys." she said, a hint of smile on her lips. "What's going on?"
"Oh, hey Lisa." Mark said, as innocently as he could muster.
Denny, who was also there, looked out of the window contemplatively.
"Where's Johnny?" Lisa asked.
"In the kitchen. I gotta go." Mark said. Of course he didn't really, but he couldn't risk staying any longer. He might slip up.
"I didn't mean to chase you off," Lisa said, "You should stick around for awhile."
"i got work early..." Mark said, his eyes drifting away from Lisa's. Denny stared at the both of them with awe.
"See yah." And with that, Mark was gone.
Also Peter randomly left as well. Leaving Lisa and Denny to sit on the floor with the door open.
"Did you get your wedding gown yet?" Denny said, seated on the floor.
"No, I get plenty of time." Lisa replied, more kneeling on the floor than sitting.
"You sure you have plenty of time? It's only a month away."
Denny was beginning to get worried about this wedding...
"It'll be fine. What are you so worried about? Everything's OK."
"John
ny doesn't seem very excited...is there some problem?" Denny persisted. Lisa and Johnny were like parent figures to him.
"There's no problem! Why do you ask?"
"I just want you and Johnny to be happy." Their sit concluded, they both stood up again.
"Look, Denny, I need to talk to Johnny. OK? I'll see you later."
Denny shrugged. On his own again!
"OK. Tell him I said hello?"
"Yeah."
And with that, Denny was gone.
As for Lisa, she needed to have some words with her 'future husband'.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Cold wind hit Peter has he opened the door to the roof. Mark was all ready up there, leaning up against the brick of the balcony.
"Hey Mark, what's up?" Peter greeted, taking a seat in one of the silver chairs that was kept up there at all times.
"Oh, hey Peter." Mark replied absentmindedly.
"It's a good place to think up here, isn't it?" Peter mused.
Mark hated it when Peter played psychologist. Couldn't he leave well enough alone for once?
"What, man? You want to put me on the clock?" Mark shot back.
Peter noticed something in Mark's hand. A joint. Of drugs. Peter had all ready seen how drugs had destroyed his friend's lives in the past. Denny's bright future was almost extinguished along with his drug cigarettes, and Johnny was still recovering from his addiction to the devil's sauce from way back when he lived in the home country.
"What the hell is that?" Peter said.
Mark smiled and considered that for a moment.
"You want some?" he sneered, "it's good bro."
"You know I don't smoke that stuff."
Mark exhaled deeply and took another hit. There was something in his eyes...
"You look depressed." Peter said.
"I got this sick feeling in my stomach man," Mark started "I did something awful. I don't think I can forgive myself."
Peter's psychologist training kicked in. "Tell me about it." he said.
Mark stood, taking a drag off his death-stick and walking towards the ledge. "I just feel like...like running."He reached the precipice of the roof and looked down. "Killing myself...something crazy like that."
"Why are smoking that crap?" Peter said, approaching Mark with caution, "No wonder you can't think straight! It's going to screw with your head!"
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