"What about his zipper?" Michelle asked.
"What about his zipper?" Lisa zinged back. "Leave him alone, he's a good guy."
"Did you tell Johnny yet?"
Lisa sighed loudly, and her smile faded.
"No. Mark's his best friend."
Michelle handed Lisa a party-bowl. "Tricky tricky."
"You know, I really loved Johnny at first." Lisa said, sitting back down on the couch. "And now everything has changed. I need more from life than what Johnny can give me. Suddenly my eyes are wide open, and I can see everything so clearly. I want it all."
"You think you can get it all from Mark?"
"If he can't give me what I want, somebody else will." Lisa said, pouting her lips and shaking her shoulders. You go girl!
"Lisa, you're sounding just like your mother!" Michelle said, sitting down herself. "You're being so manipulative."
Claudette was very manipulative and so was Lisa.
"So what? You could learn something from me. You have to take as much as you can. You have to live, live, live!" Lisa said, and she shook her hair all party like. "Don't worry about me. I've got everything covered."
Michelle shook her head.
"Your point of view is so different from mine." she said.
"Look, I don't want to talk about it." Lisa said, and promptly stood up, grabbing the broom. "People are going to be getting here soon, and, we have to finish."
"Lisa!" Michelle prodded.
"I don't see what the big deal is!" Lisa grabbed a loaf of bread from a grocery bag.
"Doesn't everybody, look out for number one?" Lisa grabbed some chips from the grocery bag.
"Don't I, deserve the best?" Lisa grabbed a bag of pretzels from the grocery bag.
"I couldn't do that," Michelle said, "you're too much for me Lisa!"
Lisa pointed an accusing finger at Michelle. "You're not such an angel yourself."
Michelle often gave her boyfriend Mike blow jobs. In fact, Michelle was sitting on a semen stain of his as they spoke.
"Yeah, but we're not talking about me, are we?" she said, then smacked Lisa on the legs with a pillow.
"Stop it!" Lisa pushed out through giggles, "Are you trying to ruin my party?"
The girls burst out into giggling again and went about setting up the rest of the party.
* * *
San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge is very long.
* * *
"That's the idea man. Yeah, you're right. That's the idea!" Johnny said as he jogged beside Mark in the forest.
"Catch me, come on!" Mark egged Johnny on as the ran. Johnny grunted and caught up. Eventually they made their way into the city, and were jogging up some stairs.
"I'm thinking of getting a house in Casa Lito. How are the rents like these days?" Mark asked.
"Pretty good. Oh, you'd be qualified for sure." Johnny confirmed.
"You serious?"
"Yeah, I'm sure!"
The breathing came hard as they climbed each step together.
"When can we meet about that? " Mark asked.
"Oh, we check my office about that tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?"
"Yeah."
"Should I come in like late afternoon?"
"Absolutely." Johnny said, "Eight o'clock?"
"Really?" Mark couldn't believe Johnny's continued generosity.
"Yeah."
"Right on. That's great."
They jogged away as friends do, back to the white sedan parked in the forest and from there back to the building they both called home.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Night came and went and then it was day time again. Lisa was sitting, drinking coffee in the living room when Johnny came down the stairs, eating a bagel.
"Bye Lisa!" he said between bites, kissing her on the cheek.
Lisa watched him go with cold, sad eyes. When was she going to tell him? Mark was, after all, his best friend.
Johnny opened the door to reveal Claudette, who was waiting outside.
"Oh, hi Claudette!" Johnny exclaimed and hugged his future-mother-in-law.
"Oh!" she greeted.
"Bye!" Johnny said, and went off to work.
"Bye!" Claudette waved after him, then walked over to where Lisa was sitting.
"Hi, Mom." Lisa said, "how are you?"
"I'm okay! How are you?" Claudette said, sitting on the couch adjacent to Lisa.
"I'm fixing the apartment for Johnny's birthday, but I'm really not into it." Lisa wined.
"Oh, why not?"
"Because I'm in love with Mark, not Johnny." Lisa said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and in many ways it was as she had had this identical conversation with her mother at least a dozen times over the past few weeks. "And here I am, planning his party."
Claudette rolled her eyes. Here we go again.
"It's not right, Lisa! I still think you should marry Johnny! Now you can't live on love. You need financial security." She explained, pointing her finger. Lisa, as a woman, had no financial security without Johnny, who was a man.
"But I'm not happy!" Lisa shot back.
Claudette simply shook her head again. As if happiness mattered for her daughter.
"And he still thinks I'm going to marry him next month. He's a fool." Lisa put down her mug and stood up, grabbing the broom and starting to sweep.
"You expect to be happy? I haven't been happy since I married my first husband! I didn't even want to marry your father." Claudette spat out.
Lisa gripped the broom hard. "You never told me that!"
"It's true. All men are assholes! Men and women use and abuse each other all the time. There's nothing wrong with it!" Claudette spouted, "Marriage has nothing to do with love!"
Lisa didn't want to fight with her mother anymore. She was tired enough from two straight days of sweeping.
"Johnny's OK, I suppose." she said. "Actually, I have him wrapped around my little finger."
"You should be happy then!" Claudette implored. If there's one lesson she'd always tried to ingrain in her daughter it's that she should be happy manipulating men into horrible situations.
"But I don't love him!" Lisa yelled again. How many times did she have to say it before anyone would understand!
"Oh!" Claudette sighed, standing up and facing her daughter. "Don't throw your life away just because you don't love him! That's ridiculous! You need to grow up and you need to listen to me!"
Lisa just stared at her mother. She was done with this.
"OK, Mom. I'll see you at the party."
Claudette sighed and rolled her eyes and sighed again and then rolled her eyes again. And then she kissed her finger and put that finger to Lisa's nose. Lisa crinkled her face all cute like.
"Bye bye my precious." she said, and left the apartment.
Lisa swept.
* * *
As Johnny walked home for what would be the final time, he couldn't help but realize once again that San Francisco was a beautiful city. One of the most beautiful cities he had ever seen. From the beautiful Golden Gate bridge, to all the beautiful buildings, to all the townhouses and all the beautiful streets with beautiful street cars. It was the magic hour now, twilight, and the city just glowed. He took the scenic route today, past the Disney Store and the cathedral and before he knew it he was home.
He opened the door.
Everything was strangely dark.
And then the lights flicked on.
"Surprise!"
It was everyone! Lisa, Denny, Michelle and her boyfriend Mike, Johnny's best friend Mark and Lisa's Mom Claudette. Some random other best friends of Johnny's. Everyone.
Johnny smiled.
Lisa ran forward and touched his arm. Everyone broke out into the Birthday Song. As they sang, Johnny blushed.
"Oh wow!" he said as they chanted his name, "Wow, all right, thank you, thank you! All right, ha ha!"
They finished and Johnny grabbed a glass of champagne, toasting everyone a
round him.
"Hey thank you!" he said, "Thanks for coming! Thanks a lot again! Thank you!"
He tilted his glass towards Denny. "You want to drink this one?" he asked.
Denny looked at Johnny confused. Wasn't Johnny a recovering alcoholic? And wasn't Denny a recovering drug abuser? Whatever. It was a time for celebration.
"Yeah later!" Johnny said. "Later?" Denny asked. "Yes! Later!" Johnny said again and took a sip.
Words could not express how happy Johnny was to be like this, to be celebrating after everything that had happened. To be celebrating with all his friends, all of the men, women and children he loved so dearly. For now, for right now, he loved the whole world.
But all of that, was about to change.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Outside, the San Francisco skyline shined brightly into the night. Inside, the party went on into the night. Friends sipped champagne and laughed and chatted amongst themselves, sharing old stories of adultery and violence against women. The latest, hippest party music played. Johnny and Claudette caught up on the couch.
"You know that's like the third time you've told me that joke tonight!" Lisa said to a friend. Mark watched her, amazed once again at her beauty. She noticed him staring and returned his gaze. He looked away, feigning embarrassment.
And Johnny observed the exchange. After contemplating it for a moment, he returned to his conversation with Claudette.
Michelle and Mike were mingling with another couple, a brunette and her red-headed boyfriend. They laughed and the other couple left to another conversation. Mike was holding a piece of cake, chocolate cake, and he presented it to Michelle with a sly grin stretched across his face. Michelle laughed seductively, grabbed a piece and fed it to Mike. He lapped it up, sucking on her finger, then grabbed a piece himself. He was about to feed it to Michelle when Lisa came walking up, so he popped in his own mouth. Lisa and Michelle shared a knowing laugh.
"Hey, everybody!" Lisa announced to the party, "Let's go outside for some fresh air!"
Everyone at the party thought this was a terrific idea, and like at all adult parties, they did whatever the party leader told them to. Everyone shuffled out the back door onto the balcony.
Everyone, but Mark and Lisa.
Mark was about to exit when Lisa closed the door.
"Wait." she said. "I have something I want to show you."
Mark smiled an expecting smile. "Oh really?"
She led him to the couch. He sat down first and she draped her legs on his lap.
"So uh," Mark grunted, "what do you want to show me?"
"It's a surprise." Lisa said, putting down her glass.
She grabbed his neck and pulled him forward, and they locked into a passionate kiss.
Mark suddenly came to his senses.
"What are you doing? I mean are you crazy? Everybody's here!"
"No they're not." she said, giggling, "they're all outside!"
"You devil! You planned this all along!"
She smiled and kissed him.
"What's going on here!" said some guy who just entered the room.
Mark and Lisa quickly separated and stood.
"Why are you doing this!" exclaimed the guy.
Lisa took Mark into her arms. "I love him."
"I don't believe it!" the guy said.
Anger boiled inside of Mark.
"You don't understand anything, man," he said, "Leave your stupid comments in your pocket!"
And with that stunningly appropriate analogy he stormed off outside, back into the party.
The guy closed in on Lisa.
"Do you understand what you're doing? You're going to destroy Johnny! He's very sensitive."
Lisa simply shook her head. "I don't care." she said, "I'm in love with Mark."
"How could you do this!?" The guy exploded in confusion and anger. "You make me sick!"
The door swung open and Michelle and Johnny entered.
"Hey!" Michelle greeted.
"Thank you honey this is a beautiful party." Johnny said, "You invited all my friends. Good thinking!" Many of Johnny's parties in the home country were with few to none of his friends, and on one particular occasion, only enemies. So this was a great surprise for him.
"You're welcome. You know how much I love you." she lied through a smile.
"I do." Johnny said, and laughed. He had his arm around Michelle for some reason.
The guy stared at Lisa with barely disguised disgust.
For a while all four of them stared at each other uncomfortably.
"You know, it's getting pretty hot in here. Why don't we go back outside?" Lisa suggested.
Johnny agreed and opened the door. Everyone filed out but for Johnny, who stayed a moment. Thinking. Was something wrong?
San Francisco continued to be a beautiful city at night, and the party continued on the balcony. Lisa walked right past Johnny, not making eye contact and disappearing into the crowd. Johnny took that as his signal. He walked over to a place of prominence, waved at a passing friend then spoke up.
"Hey everybody! I have an announcement to make!" The party silenced and listened. "We are expecting!"
The party erupted into applause. Everyone came up to congratulate the father to be.
But Michelle and that guy from before weren't so pleased. They approached their friend. "Lisa, I have to talk to you." Michelle said, leading her towards a table.
"You have got to be honest with Johnny!" Michelle said.
"I agree with that." Interjected that guy.
"Look, I'm going to tell him, OK? I just, I don't want to ruin his...birthday."
"When is the baby due?" That guy said, finally addressing the elephant in the room.
Lisa hesitated a moment, nervously pulling on her fingers. "There is no baby."
"What!?" They both exclaimed.
"What, what are you talking about?" That guy said.
Lisa sat down and her friends followed suit.
"I told him that to make it interesting." Lisa confessed.
Michelle and that guy looked at each other with utter disbelief.
"We're probably going to have a baby eventually anyway!"
Michelle sighed.
"Lisa are you feeling OK?" she said, putting her hand to her forward to feel for a fever. "Because this is just getting worse and worse!"
Lisa took a sip of her champagne.
"I feel like I'm sitting on an atomic bomb waiting for it to go off!" That guy shared Mark's skill of analogy.
"Me too! There's no simple solution to all this." Michelle agreed.
"Don't worry! You guys worry entirely too much about me!"
"Lisa, we're not worried about you. We're worried about Johnny." Michelle said, "You don't understand the psychological impact of what you're doing here! You're hurting yourself, you're...you're hurting our friendship."
"I am not responsible for Johnny. I'm through with that!"
Michelle rolled her eyes. This was the one-hundreth time Lisa had told some variation of this exact speech.
"I'm changing. I have the right don't I. People are changing all the time. I have to think about my future! What's it to you?"
That guy grabbed on to Lisa's hand.
"This is going to pull us all down." he said, "It's going to shake up our group of friends! It's going to destroy our friendship Lisa. I don't think Mark really loves you."
With the mention of Mark's name Lisa stood and crossed her arms.
"I don't want to talk about it!" she said.
Michelle sighed. "Lisa you're going to have to face it. I for one am going to have a hard time forgiving you if you don't."
Lisa ignored Michelle and turned to the rest of the party.
"Hey everybody! Let's go inside and eat some cake!"
"That's a good idea!" someone at the party exclaimed, and everyone made their way inside.
Michelle rested her head in her hand "I don't understand you Lisa." she said to no one.
&nbs
p; Inside, the red-headed man took a nice big bite of cake. "Lisa looks hot tonight." he observed, and his girlfriend shot him a look.
Johnny, who was still catching up with Claudette, gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.
Meanwhile, Mark and Lisa were having words.
"Come on, who's baby is it?" Mark said pointedly. "Is it mine?"
"No of course not!" she said, turning on her heel and walking away.
Mark grabbed her arm and yanked her back.
"Come on how can you be sure Lisa?"
"Stop asking me stupid questions!"
"Who the hell do you think you are?"
"Just shut up!" she yelled and slapped him across the face.
Johnny shot up from his seat.
"What are you doing?! What's going on here!" he said, holding on to Lisa.
"You really don't know do you?" Mark said.
Johnny pushed Mark. "Maybe I know more than you think I do Mark!"
"You don't know shit, all right?"
"What do you want from me huh!?" Johnny said, and he threw Mark into a table, breaking glass. Mark pushed himself back up, then ran at Johnny wildly, his hands reaching for Johnny's throat. Everyone grabbed on and pulled them apart.
"Stop it!" Lisa yelled.
"All right!" Johnny said, throwing up his hands. "OK folks, everything is fine. Fight is over. I'm sorry Mark." He reached out a hand.
Mark took it and shook.
"Yeah, you too."
"Lisa, could you clean up here please." Johnny said. When your future wife sleeps with your best friend, the least she can do is clean up after you get into a fight with him about it.
Johnny went to the kitchen to cool off. Mark sat and thought.
* * *
The city skyline was beautiful at night.
* * *
A few hours past and the fight was forgotten, and before long Lisa and Mark were dancing intimately in front of everyone. Mark kissed Lisa's cheek softly as they swayed.
Johnny saw what was happening and approached Lisa, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"What are you doing?" he asked, concerned.
"None of your business." she spat back.
"You're my future wife, what are you doing Lisa?"
The party went silent.
"Leave her alone, man. She doesn't want to talk to you." Mark said.
The Room Novelization Page 7
