by Lisa Graves
“You said something about breakfast,” I said suggestively. Food did sound good.
“I’ll cook eggs and toast, if you talk.”
“Deal.” I tried to be cute and shrug my shoulders as I added, “ So, what did you want to talk about exactly?”
Nicholas rolled his eyes at me as he put some bread in the toaster. “Elliott. I want to know about Elliott.”
“Anything in-particular?”
He thought about my question for a moment while he cracked eggs over the pan. “I’ll settle with. . . everything. For starters, you can tell me why you like him so much.”
I wasn’t very happy with the Spanish Inquisition, but then again, maybe Nicholas needed to hear about my feelings for Elliott. I could only hope it would help quiet his fire for me.
“I don’t know. There’s something magnetic about him. The way he reacts when he sees me, and the way he touches me. I like it.” I love it. I looked over at Nicholas. There was sadness in his eyes. “You don’t want to hear this.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Then you better watch those eggs,” I pointed out.
He flipped them over quickly. “Looks like breakfast is almost done.” He looked at me and added, “What else?”
“Honestly, I don’t see what you want me to tell you?”
“I don’t know either.” Nicholas was annoyed by the situation and it showed. He pulled a question out of the air. “Where does he live?”
“Italy, I think. He speaks Italian.” And apparently so did I.
“What do you mean ‘you think?’ You don’t know where he lives? And how can he if you keep seeing him? And what was all that stuff Charlotte said about him being imaginary?” The questions poured out, one after the other. I sat quiet until the onslaught slowed.
Stupid Charlotte. “Okay, I’ll tell you something if you promise not to freak out.”
“Okay,” he hesitated.
“And promise to take it to the grave.”
“What is it Lilly?”
I looked him in the eyes. “Promise first. No one can know.”
“Fine. I promise. I promise.” He dished up our breakfast and then took the seat beside me. “First, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Can I meet him?”
I knew Nicholas as well as he knew me. He wanted a peak at the competition. I smiled wryly. “Nope.”
“Why not?”
“First, because you just want to size him up, and you wouldn’t be nice.”
He grinned at my response. “And second?”
My eyes dropped and my face fell. “Because he can’t come back.”
Nicholas liked this way more than he should. I noticed he couldn’t help smiling as he asked, “Why not?”
“He told me, but I don’t fully understand why.” Even I could hear my tear coated words. Reflex reaction, I started to blink. Nicholas quit smiling. He scooted his chair next to mine and gave me a hug.
Trying to sooth me, Nicholas said the wrong thing. “It’s probably for the best.”
Water started to gush from my eyes. I pulled back and gave him a look that could kill. I pushed away from him and the table. I ran upstairs and locked myself in my bedroom.
Knowing he was not getting in, Nicholas talked through the door. “I’m sorry Lil.”
“No you’re not!”
“Well, I’m sorry you’re upset. I really think this is for the best.”
I sat on my side of the door and sobbed.
“Really honey. He shouldn’t play with your emotions like this. To lead you on and leave like that.”
“He wasn’t leading me on,” I retorted. “He didn’t want to leave.”
“Then why did he?”
“I told you I don’t know!”
I had felt so well when I woke up this morning. I was recharged and reenergized from wherever I had been with Elliott. I smiled at the memory. Then, I realized who had drained all of that energy, and shook my head.
As if my reasons for trying to be with Elliott weren’t already strong enough. In that thought I erased any doubt. I was going to try to see Elliott again today. I was going to try to unlock my mind. And I was going to do these things as soon as possible.
Neither of us had said anything for a few minutes. “Nicholas, you still there?”
“Yeah, I’m still here.” He tapped on the door with his finger.
“You can go now,” I whispered the words through the grain.
Worry riddled his words. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to find Elliott.”
Chapter 12. First Attempt
I sat with my back to the door, listening and thinking. Listening for Nicholas to leave, and thinking about the best way to go about trying Elliott’s astral projection. To be honest, I was still a little scared at the idea. But according to Elliott, I’d done it last night, projected. I had gotten back easy enough. A little too easily. I would at least like to get some control over that. Staying with Elliott was crucial.
I could hear the deep breathing of Nicholas on the other side of the door. Why he wouldn’t just go home, I didn’t know.
Sitting there, I tried to remember what Elliott had said I had to do. He mentioned I needed a safe, quiet place where I wouldn’t be disturbed. That wasn’t going to be easy.
I should have the house all to myself for a few more hours. If I could only get Nicholas out of it. And I would only have that if Charlotte didn’t come barging in again. I was usually alone enough in my meadow, but Nicholas was sure to try and stop me. He could get to me there. My meadow was out. Other than those two options, I couldn’t think of anywhere else that would qualify.
I sat there drumming my fingers on my knees, biting my lip and thinking. I had projected last night from my room. I smiled. I think that would be the best place to try from again. All I had to do was get Nicholas to leave. He would bother me for sure.
“Nicholas?”
He didn’t answer.
“I know you’re there, I can hear you breathing.”
“What hoe?”
“I think we’ve had a little too much quality time today. And you’re getting on my nerves. You should go home now.”
It was a minute before he answered me. “Are you still mad at me?”
“A little,” I answered. “I could use some alone time before my mom and Sophie get home.”
He didn’t reply.
“Nicholas, what’s the matter?”
“I don’t think. . . I should leave you alone.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. How could I get him to leave? “I’m fine. Promise.” I tried to keep the urgency out of my words. “Will you go if I promise to hang out with you later?”
“Like a date?”
Was he serious! “No.”
I’m certain that if I could see through doors, Nicholas would be smiling. “I’ll leave if you promise to go on a date with me,” he said.
I shook my head. “You’ll leave if a cop drags you out the door.”
“Lilly. One little promise will get me out quicker.”
I weighed my options. A cop would probably make a scene, and I’m certain my mom would hear about it. But a date? I cringed at the thought. Maybe if I set up some limits for this date, it would be more like us just hanging out? Nicholas could call it what he wanted.
“Fine.” I gave in. I was desperate to see Elliott as soon as possible. “But no restaurants. No flowers. No presents. Capisce?”
“Capisce.” I heard him move to get up. I could all but see the spring in his step and the smile on his face through the door. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”
“Fine.” I said through gritted teeth. I waited three more minutes to give him ample time to leave before cracking my door to be sure he’d left. I did one quick walk through the house, making sure Nicholas was gone while simultaneously locking doors before I ended up back in my room. I locked my door and made sure to lock the window, this time. Finally, I
had met Elliott’s first requirement of a safe place where I wouldn’t be disturbed. I shuddered at the cost.
I lay on my bed as I tried to recall what I needed to do next. Every word Elliott ever uttered to me was in my vault of memories. I listened to him speak in my thoughts the instructions from last night.
“Then you need to get comfortable Miele. You have to relax your body from your head to your toes. Every muscle, every stress, every worry; let them dissolve away.” Even the memory of his voice made me swoon.
I stretched myself out, trying to get as comfortable as possible. I wiggled my arms and my legs to get them on board with my plan. My heart raced with a mix of fear and anticipation. It didn’t help that my body felt tense at the idea of what I was going to do.
After I managed to get comfortable, I focused on relaxing. I started by wiggling the muscles in my face. When my head was relaxed I moved to my neck and shoulders, followed by my arms all the way down to my fingertips. Then I went back to my torso and systematically made my way down to my toes. I wiggled and relaxed each muscle individually.
When I had gone through all my muscles, I felt really good. But as I was going through my relaxation exercise the air conditioner had turned on and I also felt something else. Cold. I wouldn’t be able to hold still if I was shivering to death. I sighed as I got up and crawled under my blankets. Unfortunately, moving brought back all of the earlier anxiety and worries about what I was trying to do. I had to do the entire relaxation exercise again.
The second time took longer.
It was as if my mind was determined to showcase all of my worries to my subconscious. I’d bet money that the stupid little spider was behind it.
I tried to purposely focus on thoughts that made me happy as I tried to get my stresses and worries to dissolve away. I ended up replaying my memory of Elliott finding me on the other plane last night. How he had the biggest smile on his face as he ran up and scooped me in his arms. How he kissed me as we spun around in circles. I smiled. I had won the battle with my mind. I was happy, relaxed, and getting closer to being with Elliott.
I tried to clear my head of all thought and hold perfectly still. It’s harder than it sounds. I think I was on the verge of letting go when my nose started to tickle. One of Theory’s cat hairs was tickling my nose as I breathed. I tried to ignore it and focus on my goal, seeing Elliott again, but it was very difficult with that hair trying to thwart my plans. I was just about to give in and itch my nose when I heard a sound that shouldn’t be there. It was the sound of a door creaking downstairs.
I’d locked the doors!
I sat up quick as lightning as I glanced at my clock. It was barely noon, my mom and Soph usually didn’t get home from grandma trips till later in the day. But who else could it be?
A warm and familiar voice called from downstairs, “Lilly bug? You home?”
Good. It was just my mom. I lay back down. My heart was racing from the initial scare. Crap. So much for a first attempt. I wondered how long it should take me to project anyway? Was it something that could be done rather quickly or more of a long, time consuming process? I made a mental note to ask Elliott the first chance I got. Which was hopefully soon.
My door knob turned, but my door didn’t open. “Lilly, are you in there? Why is this door locked?”
“Sorry mom. I was trying to relax and didn’t want to be disturbed.” I jumped off my bed, clicked the lock open, and twisted the handle.
My mom, Meredith, was on the other side of the door. She looked nothing like me. For starters, she was almost six feet tall and had pretty blond hair cut in an A-line. Along with my eye color, I inherited the short gene from my great grandmother.
My mom’s brown eyes looked me straight in the eye. “Who was going to disturb you? All the doors were locked.” She didn’t sound angry. But she didn’t sound like she was buying my story either.
I shrugged. “Just paranoid I guess.” I smiled and crossed my fingers behind my back. Please drop it, I thought. “How’s grandma?”
She gave me one more what are you up too look before starting on the details of their visit. “Grandma Black’s good. She was sad you didn’t want to come. I reminded her where you got your independence. Sophie had fun playing with Mrs. Clark as usual. I’m surprised at what that dog puts up with.” She sighed. “What did you do while we were gone?”
“The usual, I guess. I hung out with Charlotte and Nicholas. Ate Pop-Tarts.” I shrugged again. “I dunno.”
“Pop-Tarts huh? Would you like me to fix the three of us lunch? I would appreciate it if you’d let Sophie tell you about the trip, and it would be really nice if you at least pretended to be interested. She looks up to you, you know?”
The things I did for food. “Sure.” Chances were I wouldn’t have to listen to Sophie tell me anything. At least the odds were in my favor, she didn’t like talking either.
“Sure.” She teased back and pushed the door all the way open. “Give me a hug Ms. Bug. I’ve missed you.” I rolled my eyes, but complied.
“I missed you too mom. We’re running low on Pop-Tarts.” I smiled up at her.
“Well at least I’m good for something.”
I followed her down to the kitchen. Sophie was at the table drawing in her notebook, like always. It seemed like she was doodling or sketching in that thing every time I turned around. Soph looked like a mini version of our mom, only her hair was a little longer and she was still a lot shorter, for now. She was only ten years old. I sat down in the chair beside her.
“What you drawing now?” I asked.
“Mrs. Clark.” She didn’t even bother to look up.
I leaned over to get a better look. There on the white piece of paper, in pencil, was a Boston Terrier. It was an amazing likeness to Mrs. Clark. It even had the double spot over the left eye. Sophie was becoming a very decent artist. She drew better than anyone else I knew. “That’s really good. Is that all from memory?” I asked.
“Yeah.” Her eyes never left the page as her hand kept drawing.
My mom had been opening and closing the fridge and cabinets, and apparently was done. “How about stir fry?” she asked.
“Yeah,” said Sophie.
“Sure,” I replied.
“Didn’t I raise a talkative bunch?”
Sophie and I both looked up at her and shrugged our shoulders at the same time. “Ugh! What am I going to do with you two?”
“Feed us,” I answered.
“Yep.”
Meredith rolled her eyes and then went about her business cooking the three of us lunch. The rest of the afternoon was like that, quiet. I tried to escape to my bedroom after lunch on the pretense of reading, but my mom insisted I could read in the kitchen just as easily as I could upstairs. So I ended up reading more of my art history book, while Sophie drew a picture of me, and Meredith cleaned up around us. It was late afternoon when my mom sat down at the table and tried talking to us again. Well, tried talking to me.
“Where’s Charlotte and Nicholas? Aren’t the three of you joined at the hip?”
I felt a little sorry. She wanted someone here that would talk, and Charlotte would have filled that roll perfectly, except for the minor fact that she had become enemy number one in the last three days. “Me and Charlotte got in a little argument over the weekend,” I said, my eyes didn’t leave my book. “So she probably won’t be by as often.”
My mom looked sad at this news, and I was sure it wasn’t for my loss.
I added, “Nicholas and I are hanging out tonight, but not here. I’ll be home by curfew.”
My mom gave me the what’s going on look again. “Charlotte and you aren’t speaking and you’re going out tonight with Nicholas. Is it a date?”
She was too perceptive. I worded my answer carefully. “I don’t like him that way mom. We’re just friends.” It had suddenly become a great time to leave. I grabbed my book and started to walk upstairs. “I think I’ll go for a walk. Be back in a bit.”
&nb
sp; “See you later honey.” I noticed how her eyes followed me out of the room.
I tossed my book on my bed, tied my hoodie around my waist, and slipped on my flip flops. I practically ran out the front door. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Gwen give me a tentative wave from her front porch. I waved back, and immediately changed course for the opposite direction.
The sun filtered through the leaves and lit the street in speckles of light. It was probably close to eighty degrees out, but the breeze made it a perfect summer afternoon. The smell of fresh cut grass filled the air. But what day would be perfect without Elliott?
Automatically I headed for my park. If I was lucky I would get another chance to try and tap into my latent mind power, and project. At the very least I would finally get a little privacy.
At the oaks that hid the entrance to my path, I quickly glanced back to make sure I wasn’t being followed. Good. No Charlotte, Nicholas, Sophie, or mom in sight. I darted into the shadows of the trees and strolled slowly towards my meadow.
The crunch of twigs beneath my feet, the rustle of the leaves, the scurries of the menagerie of creatures that called this place home; all of these sounds called to my soul. They signified the solitude I was once used to. After not having it for even a few days, I missed it badly.
I walked along slowly. I wasn’t in a hurry. There was only one place I wanted to be more than here, and I was still unsure how to accomplish that journey. Finally, I’d made it to the end of the path. I looked out from the shadows into my favorite place in the world. No one was there, as usual. Excellent.
I went straight to the cove. I didn’t feel like sunlight today. Besides, the shadows seemed to call for me. I untied my hoodie from my waist and scrunched it up into a make-shift pillow. I lay in my cove, and let the shadows engulf me.
I didn’t move from that spot for over an hour except for the usual twitch or toe wiggle. I was enjoying the isolation too much. Laying there, breathing in the fragrant lavender blossoms and other scents of this place, I found myself completely at peace. Only when the wind swirled around me, did my memory get jogged as to what I should be doing. Trying to see Elliott again.
