“No, there’re different sizes and shapes and in different countryside,” Tananda said.
“No doubt we’re in different towns,” Aahz said, “all built, it seems, off the same pattern, with the same kind of people living in them.”
“Okay,” Tananda said, “now I can safely say I’ve seen it all.”
“Not yet,” I said. “We’ve still got the round-up, whatever that is. And a golden cow.”
Tananda nodded and looked at Aahz with a serious face.
“I’m starting to think this treasure isn’t worth what we’re risking.”
Aahz looked at her as if she had gone crazy.
“Are you kidding? We’ve come this far. Only a few more towns to go.”
She nodded, but I could tell as I sipped my juice that this entire dimension was bothering Tananda a great deal. And in the time I had known Tananda, I had never seen anything bother her.
Aahz glanced to make sure the guy was still in the kitchen, then opened up the map and spread it on the table. As every other time, it had changed again.
This time, we had four roads to pick from, and all the towns started with the letter “B”. Brae was the southernmost, then there was Brawn, then Bent, and finally, to the north, Bethel. The golden treasure was marked as being in a place called Donner.
“Well, so much for that system,” I said.
“And it was working, too,” Aahz said.
“You know, maybe I could drain off the magik from the map again.” I had just finished my entire glass of carrot juice and was feeling really, really alive and well.
Aahz glanced at the kitchen door again, and then asked me, “You feel up to it?”
“I feel like I’m getting stronger the farther we come,” I said.
“Let him try,” Tananda said. “Might save us a lot of backtracking.”
Aahz looked at me, and then nodded. “Give it a shot.”
I took a deep breath and let my mind search out the power in the map. For an instant I didn’t think anything was going to happen. Then I felt it. The power rushed through me from the map as I hastily directed it into the ground. My head spun for a second, and it was done. The power was gone and the map was normal ... for now. I took a deep breath, again feeling the strain. I needed more carrot juice.
“It worked,” Aahz said. “Nice job, Skeeve.”
It wasn’t often that I got a compliment from my mentor, so I savored the moment. Tananda patted me on the arm and gave me a kiss on the cheek for a reward. Nothing like doing a job and doing it well.
I took her glass of carrot juice and sipped from it while we studied the map.
Only one road led from Biscuit where we were, through Bethel and then to Donner. Donner actually was the place with the golden cow. We had been closer than we thought.
But from the look of the map, it was a long way to Bethel, and even farther to Donner. Just getting to the first place was going to take to the middle of the night. I just hoped the cows didn’t watch us.
“You rested enough to get going?” Aahz asked me.
I downed half of the glass of carrot juice and nodded.
“Put this in one of our water containers, would you?”
Tananda nodded as I stood and moved to the door into the back room. I knocked and the guy came out.
“What can we do for you in exchange for the wonderful drinks you served?”
He smiled, as if I had again said some magik words.
“Just come back for food sometime soon.”
“I promise we will,” I said. I tipped my hat at him. “Thanks.”
He stood there smiling, watching us leave like we were his children headed off to school.
We went through Bethel in the middle of the night. The town looked like all the others, and, even though it was locked up tight and shuttered, I recognized the Audry’s-place-look-alike as we passed it.
For the past few hours, since a stop we made right after dark, the cows had again watched us. We were the cow entertainment for the night as we sped past pasture after pasture. Thousands and thousands of cows lined the road, ready for us to come flashing past. I had no idea why they did it, or how they knew we were coming, but there wasn’t a stretch of road that didn’t have cows lined up beside it all night long. And even though there were no fences, none of them came into the road to stop us.
After a while I stopped looking at them as well. Their big eyes, shining in the moonlight, just unnerved me.
My flying was getting better and better as the trip went on, and since the moon was almost full the road was easy to see. I could manage almost an hour of nonstop flying before I had to rest, and, because of the mostly flat land, we were making great time.
Even though I wanted to drink it earlier because I was feeling tired, I forced myself to wait until we were walking through Bethel to finish the last of the carrot juice I had had Tananda save.
Just that half a glass gave me enough energy to keep on going, as if I had slept a full night. It seemed to allow me to use every bit of the power around me to keep us above the road and speeding toward the treasure.
At sunrise the cows stopped watching again, going back to grazing as if we didn’t matter at all. For a while I felt almost insulted, before I realized what I was thinking. How could a cow not wanting to watch me fly past ever insult me? Made no sense.
About halfway through the morning, still a long distance from Donner, we came on a small town. It couldn’t have been half the size of Evade, and not more than a dot on the map. The juice I had drunk in the middle of the night had long ago worn off and I was so tired that I was just about falling down.
As I had hoped when I saw the little town, right in the middle was a place that looked a lot like Audry’s. It was empty and we went in, taking what I was starting to think of as our normal table. I slouched in a chair in front of the window, glad to still be alive.
There was only one thing bad about the carrot juice. When you came down off of it, you came down hard. Right now, if we were going to get to Donner by the middle of the night, I needed another fix or two of the golden liquor.
This place didn’t just look like Audry’s, it could have been Audry’s. And when the guy with the white apron and dirty rag came out of the back room, I wasn’t surprised in the slightest.
“What can I get for you, strangers?”
“If you wouldn’t mind,” I said before either Tananda or Aahz could speak, “could I trouble you for three glasses of your best?”
The guy beamed, wiped his hands with the towel, and said the words I was expecting.
“Not a problem. Sure I couldn’t interest you folks in some lunch as well? Just got a fresh wagon-load in. Everything’s really crisp. You all need your strength, what with the round-up coming.”
“Thanks, partner,” I said. “That sounds really good, but I think we’ll just start with the juice right now, if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all,” he said.
A few moments later he came back with three glasses of the carrot juice, smiled at us as he put them down, then headed off into the kitchen.
“Okay, that does it,” Tananda said, staring at where the guy had gone. “I’m officially completely creeped out.”
“What?” Aahz asked. “All the staring cows last night didn’t do it for you?”
“Okay, double creeped out,” Tananda said.
I downed about a half a glass of carrot juice and sat back, letting the wonderful flavor warm me. How I had ever lived without the stuff was beyond me.
“I think you might want to go easy on that juice,” Aahz said. He was looking as tired as I had felt a few minutes ago.
“I think you might want to try some,” I said, “if you’re expecting to get to the treasure tonight.”
He shook his head.
“I think one of us
hooked on carrot juice is enough.”
“Your loss,” I said.
He just frowned and pulled out the map.
This time the map hadn’t changed. My magik had worked. We were still headed for Donner, which looked to be a good distance from here. I was going to need all the energy I could get. I downed another quarter of the glass.
By the time we left the place, with me running through the same routine with the guy in the apron, promising we might be back for dinner, I had downed a glass and a half of the juice, and had the rest in the water containers. I was good to go through the night. As far as I was concerned, Tananda and Aahz could sleep while I flew. They weren’t doing anything, so why not?
Later that afternoon I think they both did actually fall asleep while flashing along knee-high off the road. It was lucky for all of us I had my carrot juice.
AS IT HAPPENED, we were approaching another tiny little town along the road to Donner as the sun set. On the map this place wasn’t even listed. It had maybe twenty buildings, all of them boarded up and shuttered. Still, Aahz figured there was no point in taking any chances, so we walked into the tiny town.
We were just about through the town when, at once, every door in the town slammed open. It was a dark and quiet night, with the sun down and the moon not yet up. That much sudden noise and movement darned near scared me right out of my skin.
“What’s happening?” Tananda asked.
I didn’t have a clue. From what I could tell, every person in the town, all dressed in different clothing, some in nightshirts, walked into the street like zombies, turned, and in a line headed out of town to the west.
We quickly stepped up onto the sidewalk to get out of the way as the chain of people moved past down the center of the road. There was no life in any of their eyes or fighting against what was happening to them.
“Be ready to take us back to Vortex #6,” Aahz whispered to Tananda.
“Oh, I’ve been ready for days,” she said.
The last person moved past us, leaving the town empty and every door standing wide open. I had no idea what we should do. I took the canister out of my pouch and downed the last of the second glass of carrot juice, just to be ready for whatever was coming.
Aahz motioned that we should follow them, so, moving slowly about thirty steps behind the last person, we followed the line of people out into the countryside, along the very same road we had planned on traveling.
The farther out we got, the more I expected to see the cows waiting for us, watching the zombie townspeople now. But there were no cows to be seen.
But there were a lot of naked people, yawning and stretching scattered around the fields, as if they were just waking up from a long nap.
The townspeople kept doing the zombie march as the naked people in the fields moved toward them. The first naked guy to reach the line near us grabbed an old man in a nightshirt, tipped back the old guy’s head, and bit into his neck.
“Vampires,” Tananda whispered.
Behind us the full moon was easing up over the edge of the hill, shining light on the feast as more and more vampires picked a meal and bit in. So this was what the round-up was all about? I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
The cows were vampires, and their feeding stock was the people. No wonder all the people in all the towns all ate vegetables and were afraid of the night. The people who lived in the towns were nothing more than cattle, being fattened for slaughter every month.
It was the cows that were the masters.
“You are not in the round-up line,” a deep and pleasant voice said from behind us.
All three of us spun around as one to face two naked people. One was a man, one a woman. Their bodies were perfectly formed, their muscles toned, their eyes large and brown, like the cow’s eyes along the road every night.
The woman was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen without clothes on. No, make that the most beautiful. And with one glance into her eyes, I wanted to give myself to her. I didn’t care if she bit me or not.
The next instant the dust storm on Vortex #6 slammed into me, snapping me out of my desire to make a fool of myself with a beautiful woman for the second time in a week.
THE HUNDRED SLOGGING steps through the dust storm to the cabin seemed to get longer and longer every time I had to do it. I had no idea why we just couldn’t D-Hop right into the cabin and skip all this dust and wind. I was going to ask Tananda that, as soon as things settled down.
As we got near the cabin, Tananda held up her hand for us to stop. I could barely see the dark shape of the building in the storm. There was no light in the window this time.
She did something with both arms I assumed was some sort of scanning magik that assassins knew, then motioned that it was clear and we should move forward. Therefore, Glenda wasn’t here waiting for us.
I had the sudden image of one of the cow-vampires bending her over and sucking on her neck in the middle of some road somewhere. Considering what she had done to me, it was one of the nicer thoughts I had had about her in days.
We got inside and the door closed against the storm.
“Are we shielded?” Aahz asked Tananda.
“Up and solid,” she said. “Skeeve was right, there is powerful energy here. I can hold the shield for as long as we need it.”
“So Glenda can’t pop in and surprise us?” I asked, moving to the stove to get it started before I took off my coat.
“Not a chance,” Tananda said. “She hops back here, she’s going to get awful dirty standing out there in the dust.”
Aahz laughed. “Couldn’t happen to a nicer demon.”
“Want something to eat?” Tananda asked, working around in the cabinets as I sat at the table.
“Just more carrot juice,” I said.
I could feel my body starting to get really tired, as if someone had pulled the energy plug and what I had left was draining onto the floor.
I dug into my pouch for the canister that I had been carrying. It was gone. I checked again and it was still not there. I couldn’t remember doing anything with it, but I might have dropped it in the excitement of watching cows become vampires and bite on people.
“You have the other canister of juice?” I asked Aahz.
“Afraid not, apprentice,” he said. “Left it back on Kowtow when we hopped out of there.”
My first reaction was not to believe him. Then it became clear that he had left the rest of my carrot juice, and my reaction was anger.
“How could you do that?” I shouted.
“Easy,” he said.
He showed me by reaching into his pouch, taking out an invisible canister, and dropping it to the floor.
“But what am I going to do without it?”
Again I shouted. I needed that carrot juice; right down to the very bottom of my soul I needed it.
“You’re going to sleep for a long time,” Tananda said, smiling at me.
Just her mention of sleep made me sleepy. I couldn’t believe they had done this to me.
“Taking a guy’s carrot juice isn’t nice.”
“I know,” Tananda said. “But we’re doing it for your own good. You haven’t slept in at least three days. You need to stop moving and just lie down.”
The tiredness was washing up over me like a wave on the beach. It was everything I could do to even think about saying I didn’t need sleep.
How dare she tell me what I needed?
How dare Aahz leave my juice behind? Hadn’t I trusted him with that juice?
“I don’t need to rest,” I said, my voice sounding funny to my ears.
“How about you just lie down for a few minutes and then we’ll talk about it,” Tananda said, helping me to me feet and moving me over to the soft-looking bed against one wall.
“Well, maybe just a minute
,” I said.
What could a minute hurt? I’d get back some of my energy, and then convince Tananda to hop me back to get my juice.
“Only one minute,” I said.
Or at least I think I said that. I might not have, because from the moment my head touched the pillow, I don’t remember another thing.
I WOKE UP with a blinding headache and a taste in my mouth that was a cross between horse droppings and stale carrots. I rolled over and the pain hit me even harder, smashing into my head like someone was taking a hammer and pounding me right between the eyes.
“Ohhh,” I said, putting both hands to my head trying to stop the agony.
“The sleeping apprentice awakes,” Aahz said, his voice far too loud for the size of the space between my ears.
“And in pain, it seems,” Tananda shouted.
“Please whisper,” I said, but my throat was so dry the words didn’t really come out.
I wanted to die. Why hadn’t they just killed me as I slept? Or maybe they had tried, which was why I hurt so much.
I also wanted to be sick, but that wasn’t possible since there wasn’t anything left in my stomach. But my stomach still felt like it wanted to twist inside out and come up through my throat. And the world spinning didn’t help that feeling at all.
And, most of all, I really wanted to forget all the nightmares I’d had about cows turning into vampires, and the people of a dimension being nothing more than food stock. What an awful nightmare. That was the last time I had carrot juice if it caused those kinds of visions.
Tananda came over and knelt beside me. I could feel her hand on my forehead, then a soft energy flowing through me, washing the pain and nausea with it. Whatever she did, it was nice.
After a moment she moved away and I opened my eyes. My head didn’t hurt as much, and the world that felt as if it was smashing down on me from all sides had retreated.
I also realized that what I had thought were carrot-juice-induced nightmares had actually happened.
“That help?” Tananda asked.
MA11-12 Myth-ion Improbable Something Myth-Inc Page 10
