The rest of the delegation is also startin’ to load arrows, and I realize that we have not completely briefed them as to the sights and sounds they could expect to encounter when they reached the palace.
“Hey! Relax!” I sez hastily. “That’s just Aahz. He’s the Boss’s partner, and...”
“Gleep!”
Around the corner comes Gleep. Apparently Aahz was exercising him in the courtyard when we arrived. In a flash, I can see we’ve got trouble.
“That’s a dragon!!”
“Relax, everybody!!” I bellows in my best command voice. “There’s no need to...”
Just then, Gleep catches sight of Nunzio and comes boundin’ forward.
“Gleep!”
That’s when it all hits the fan.
A lot of things happen so fast that I am left with a confusin’ array of separate images.
-The bows come up loaded with arrows.
-Aahz stops in his tracks.
-Gleep slams on the brakes and throws himself sideways in front of Aahz.
- Pookie and Spyder pile into the delegation, tryin’ to stop them from shootin’.
-An arrow flies and...
Gleep gives out a high pitch wail, rears up, and then collapses on his side.
At the sound, everybody freezes and place and stares in silence, like we was all in a picture for one of those play advertisements.
Then, everyone starts talkin’ at once.
“What did you do that for??!!”
“But it was attacking!”
“No it wasn’t! It wanted to play!”
“That’s Skeeve’s pet you just shot!”
“Oh geez!”
“How were we supposed to know?”
While the babble is goin’ on behind me, I run forward and join Aahz, who is kneelin’ by Gleep.
“How is he?” I sez.
Even as I speak, I realize this is a kinda stupid question. From where I stand, I can see the arrow stickin’ out of the Boss’s pet just behind his front leg. For a crew that normally couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn if they was inside, this time they managed to come up with a shot that was deadly accurate.
“It’s not good,” Aahz sez, not lookin’ up. “You better have someone get Skeeve.”
“Nunzio!” I call. “Get the Boss! Quick!”
“Gleep,” the dragon sez, tryin’ weakly to raise its head.
“Just lie quiet, fellah,” Aahz sez in a surprisingly gentle voice. “Skeeve will be here soon.”
I turn and walk back to where the delegation is now huddled together.
“Robb,” I sez, beckonin’ him forward.”
“Geez, Guido,” he sez. “We didn’t know...”
“Shaddup!” I sez, cuttin’ him short. “Remember what I told you about talkin’ with the Boss?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, forget it. With what’s just happened, you better let Nunzio and me do all the talkin’.”
IT SEEMS LIKE it takes forever, but it’s probably not more than a minute or two before Nunzio and the Boss come flyin’ out of the palace. Of course, in the Boss’s case, this is literal-type statement. That is to say, Nunzio is leadin’ the way at a pace a few notches short of a dead run, while the Boss is floatin’ along just behind him. Even at this distance, I can see that he’s lookin’ happier than I have seen him in a long time.
This surprises me.
Not that he is flyin’. That is one of the smaller magiks that he has at his disposal, even though he doesn’t use it all that much. Rather, I am surprised that he seems happy, as I can see nothin’ in the current state of affairs that would put him in such a mood.
Then he sees Gleep and he stops smilin’. At this, I realize what has happened. Nunzio has simply fetched him without tellin’ him what was up. Any hopes I have for his bein’ in a good mood disappear along with his smile.
In a flash he is on the ground and kneelin’ at Gleep’s side, cradlin’ his pet’s head in his arms.
“What’s wrong, fellah?” I hear him say. “Aahz? What’s the matter with him?”
Aahz glances at us, then clears his throat.
“Skeeve, I...” he begins, then stops as the Boss suddenly stiffens up. He has just noticed the arrow that’s stickin’ out of Gleep’s side.
An expression dances across his face that does not bode well for any of us in the near vicinity.
Just then, Gleep stirs again, raisin’ his head.
“Take it easy, fellah,” the Boss sez, his expression softenin’ again. Gleep cranks his head around and looks the Boss in the eye.
“Skeeve?” he sez, then goes limp.
The Boss carefully put’s Gleep’s head on the ground, then gets up and stands lookin’ at him for a minute. Then he looks at us.
In my work with the Mob, I have met several people who could threaten you with just a look. I’ve even done it myself when the situation called for it. But in all my years, I have never seen anything like the look the Boss is givin’ us right now.
“All right,” he sez in a deadly-soft voice. “I want to know what’s been going on here... and I want to know now!!”
Remember when I said that when Nunzio went lookin’ for the Boss, it seemed to take a lot longer than it actually did? Well, it seemed even longer this time before anyone spoke... practically years.
Finally, Aahz broke the silence.
“Um... partner?” he sez.
“Not now, Aahz,” the Boss sez, still starin’ at us.
“Suit yourself,” Aahz shrugs. “I just thought you might want to take care of Gleep before getting in to all this.”
The Boss’s head comes around with a snap.
“Take care of Gleep?” he sez. “But isn’t he...? I mean...”
Aahz frowns at him for a second, then his expression clears.
“Oh! I get it now. You thought...” he breaks off with a little chuckle. “Relax, partner. He’ll be fine. He just passed out from the shock is all.”
“But the arrow...?”
“Dragons are tough.” Aahz smiles. “Besides, most people don’t know much about dragon anatomy. That arrow’s nowhere near where his heart is. Once we get it out of him, he should heal up fine.”
Now, I’ll admit that I am among those that Aahz is referrin’ to that don’t know anything about dragon anatomy. This does not, however, mean that I am slow on the uptake.
“Nunzio!” I barks. “Find Massha fast. Tell her to bring that stuff she used on my arm. Spyder! Scout around for a wagon big enough that we can move Gleep back to the stables. If anyone gives you any grief, convince them. Either that or tell ‘em to take it up with me later.”
In the blink of an eye, they are both up and runnin’.
“Can I help out at all?” sez one of the delegates, steppin’ up to me.
“Like how?” I sez, frownin’ as I try to remember the guy’s name. “You’re...”
“Tuck,” he sez. “I’m a cook. I heard the... the green gentleman say something about cutting the arrow out. Well, I’m pretty good with a knife and know a bit about animal anatomy... though not about dragons specifically... and...”
“Okay, stand by,” I sez. “Just don’t do anything until Massha gets here.”
“Massha?” he sez.
“Don’t worry. You’ll know her when you see her.”
After that, it was pretty much routine. Tuck was as good as his word and got the arrow out of the Boss’s pet with minimal blood bein’ spilled. Massha was right there with her magik salve, and by the time we got around to loadin’ Gleep onto the wagon, the wound was already healin’.
I was takin’ a breather after helpin’ with the latter chore, Gleep bein’ no featherweight, when Robb beckons me aside for a quick chat.
“Guido,” he sez, “the b
oys and I are going to take couple rooms at that inn we passed just outside the castle. Things are crazy enough right now I think our business with Skeeve can wait until tomorrow.”
“You’re probably right,” I sez. “It’s kind of a shame, though. Your havin’ to wait after havin’ come all this way to meet the Boss.”
“Oh, the actual meeting is more of a formality now,” he sez. “I’m sure we’ll be able to work out some kind of an arrangement with him. I’d say your point has definitely been proven.”
“Which point is that?” I sez, genuinely puzzled.
“About how Skeeve is a nice guy and more reasonable than we gave him credit for. I mean, talk is easy and the best of us can get fooled, but that was a pretty solid demonstration we got.” He paused and shook his head. “The kid was genuinely upset about his dragon getting shot, and deservedly so, I might add. He really wanted to lay into us, and no one could have or would have stopped him. Still, even when he was deadly-eyed mad, his first reaction was to ask for an explanation... to hear our side of what had happened. Then, when it turned out that the dragon was just wounded, his main concern was taking care of his pet, not going after punishment or vengeance. To me, that makes him a hell of a man.”
“That’s the Boss, all right,” I sez, grinnin’ slightly.
“Yeah, well you can also tell a lot about a man by the friends he attracts.” Robb smiles. “Even though your crew is pretty fearsome when viewed from the outside, it’s also easy to see that you’re all fiercely loyal to Skeeve... far beyond a simple employee-employer relationship. It speaks well of him, and you.”
Before I can say anything in response to this, he sticks out his hand. I shake it, and he turns and marches off to rejoin the rest of the delegation.
As I am watchin’ him go, I suddenly realize there is someone standin’ next to me.
“Oh. Hi, Boss.” I sez.
“Guido,” he acknowledges. “I believe you were about to explain to me what’s going on. Let’s take a walk and you can fill me in.”
So I do.
I tell him everything we’ve been doin’ since he got back from Perv, with only a little bit of editin’ for content.
When I get done, he is silent for a long time.
“I’m sorry, Boss,” I sez, finally, tryin’ to prod him into commentin’.
“No, Guido,” he sez, quiet-like. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”
With that, he walks off in the direction of the stables.
SKEEVE THE GREAT. What a joke.
If there was ever a time in my life when I felt less great than now, it has been mercifully forgotten.
The irony was that not that long ago, barely an hour really, I had been on top of the world. I had told Queen Hemlock that I didn’t want to marry her and survived the experience. Not only survived it, but had also escaped the awful threat of her abdicating and leaving me to run the kingdom by myself. For the first time in months, I was completely free from obligations and commitments. I had been literally walking on air.
Then Gleep got shot. To boot, that led to my finding out that there was a whole batch of problems the team had been handling without even telling me about them. Handling, as in putting themselves in the line of fire so I wouldn’t be bothered.
It was disturbing to realize that I couldn’t trust the team anymore. At least, I felt like I couldn’t trust them because they didn’t trust me enough to be open and honest about things anymore.
I was feeling confused and more than a little hurt, so I did what I usually do when things start crowding in on me. I retreated to the stables to hang out with Gleep.
Of course now, he was sleeping. Recovering from shock while his wound healed, Massha had said. I glanced over to be sure he was resting quietly, then went back to thinking.
The nice thing about the stables is that few people ever came here. I’ve been told that it’s the smell that keeps them away, but when you’ve spent years with a pet dragon whose eating habits give him bad breath that would gag a maggot, it takes more than a bit of barnyard perfume to bother you. As a result, I had a place to go where I could be alone. A place where no one would intrude. A place where...
“Hi, Skeeve.”
The voice was easily recognizable, so I didn’t even look around.
“Okay, you found me, Bunny,” I said, heaving a sigh. “What is it now? More spreadsheets? Did Grimble misplace a decimal in the budget?”
She didn’t answer, so I finally turned to face her.
As always, she was a delightfully curvaceous bundle who is a delight to look at. Now, however, she was staring at the ground and trembling slightly.
“Actually,” she said softly, “I came down to see how Gleep was. I really didn’t mean to intrude. I’ll leave you alone and check back later.”
She turned and started to leave.
“Whoa. Wait a minute, Bunny,” I called. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just... it’s been a rough day. That’s all.”
She stopped, but didn’t turn back.
“So, do you want me to leave or not?” she said.
“Yes. No. I don’t know,” I stammered. “I’m so turned around... I just don’t know.”
“That’s really the heart of the problem, isn’t it?” she said, turning at last. “If you don’t know what you want, how is anyone else supposed to figure it out?”
“It’s more than that,” I said. “I just don’t know who to trust anymore.”
“What, you mean because of the little side project Guido and Nunzio took on without telling you?”
“You heard about that, huh?” I said, then a thought struck me. “Or did you know about it all along? Have you been part of this conspiracy of silence the whole time?”
“As a matter of fact, I didn’t know about it,” she said. “I guess they weren’t sure that I wouldn’t have felt obligated to tell you.”
“That’s a relief,” I sighed.
“Is it?” she said. “I’ll be honest with you, Skeeve. If they had included me in their planning, I would have gone along with it.”
“You would?”
“Yes, I would,” she said. “This whole thing with Queen Hemlock and the kingdom’s finances has had you tied in knots, Skeeve. You really didn’t need any other distractions.”
“I see,” I said. “I would have thought, if anyone, that you would be on my side, Bunny.”
“When did it become ‘sides,’ Skeeve?” Bunny sighed. “We’re all supposed to be on the same team. Remember?”
“Well, yes. But...”
“Have you listened to yourself lately, Skeeve?” she continued. “When I first walked in here, you nearly bit my head off because you thought I was coming to you with more problems. Now, in the same conversation, you’re upset because Guido and Nunzio didn’t come to you with new problems. You think you’re confused? Well, don’t feel all alone. The whole team is confused right now.”
“I don’t... I just can’t seem to get a fix on things anymore,” I said.
“I’ve noticed,” she said, turning to go. “Well, when you sort things out, or if you want someone to talk to, let me know. Until then, I think I’ll just try to stay out of your way.”
“Bunny, I...” I started to say, but she had already gone.
Terrific.
I leaned against Gleep’s stall and let my thoughts whirl through my mind.
Now, on top of everything else, Bunny was upset with me. It was strange to realize just how much that bothered me. When her uncle, Don Bruce, first assigned her to me as my moll, she had come on so strong that she made me uneasy just to be around. Heck, she scared the pants off me. Since then, she had settled into the role of administrative assistant and personal confidante, performing with such competence and efficiency that she was now an indispensable member of the team. I had nothing but the highe
st respect for her, and wanted desperately for her to respect me in turn.
“Bunny... right.”
I looked up to find Gleep awake and staring at me.
“Gleep!” I said. “Are you all right, fellah? You’re looking better and... you’re talking?”
I remembered now that, just before he collapsed, he had said my name, effectively doubling his vocabulary up until that point. I had been impressed at the time, but now...
“Bunny... right,” he said again.
“Wait a minute, Gleep,” I said. “You can talk? Why haven’t you said anything before?”
“Secret,” he said, then craned his neck to look toward the door. “Keep... secret?”
“Sure, I’ll keep it a secret,” I said. “But... wait a minute. What do you mean ‘Bunny’s right’?”
“Friends... love... Skeeve,” my pet said. “Skeeve... not... happy. Friends... try... make... happy. Not... know... how.”
Maybe it was his broken speech or the simplification it required, but what Gleep was saying made sense. It kind of summarized what a lot of people had been telling me. In an absence of information from me, the team had been left to their own devices at interpreting what it would take to make me happy, then acting on those interpretations. In turn, I had been looking at those actions without realizing what they were doing, and...
“Wait a minute, Gleep,” I said. “Those ‘accidents’ you’ve been having. Did they have anything to do with what you’re telling me now?”
“Gleep,” he said, chewing at his foot.
“Oh no,” I said. “The ‘dumb animal’ bit won’t work anymore. Answer the question.”
He looked at me levelly.
“Skeeve... not... happy,” he said. “Gleep... love... Skeeve.”
If I thought my brain was whirling before, now it was doing loop-the-loops.
“But Gleep, I don’t know what it will take to make me happy,” I said desperately.
“Talk... Aahz,” he said.
“What?”
“Talk... Aahz,” he repeated. “Aahz... help.”
Actually, that was pretty good advice. Aahz had been my teacher and mentor long before he took me as a full partner. Not only had he seen a lot and been around for a long time, he had a vested interest in my well-being.
MA11-12 Myth-ion Improbable Something Myth-Inc Page 30
