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To Jenny
my very tall true best friend from fifth grade
who taught me how to catch lizards
without breaking their tails
1 / Extra Lizardy and Alone
Do you ever feel
like
somehow
when you were out digging tunnels
or rescuing worms,
chasing lizards
or throwing rocks,
baking muffins
or sleeping—
somehow
when you didn’t even know
it was happening—
you lost your true best friend?
∼
And now you have no one
you can be your dumb self with,
no one
you can be your scared self with,
no one
you can be your selfish self with?
Do you ever feel this way?
∼
This is the way Minn feels today.
Minn is feeling very empty,
and very tall,
and very odd,
and very pigtailed,
and very lizardy,
and very much alone.
Maybe
Minn feels empty because
all she had for breakfast
was a bruised banana,
eaten in ninety seconds flat
after she tied her shoes
in the car.
Maybe
Minn feels tall because
the class picture came back yesterday,
and she is standing a full head taller
than anyone else in her row,
the tall back row.
And the top of her head
is missing.
Maybe
Minn feels odd because
while they were standing
outside the classroom
waiting
for Mrs. Moss to unlock the door
before school,
Lola looked
at Minn’s new red high-top sneakers
and whispered loud
to Sabina,
Is it Valentine’s Day already
or were those shoes 50 percent off?
And Sabina,
Minn’s true best friend
until last week,
covered her mouth
and whispered something
in Lola’s ear,
and Lola busted up laughing.
And maybe
Minn feels pigtailed
and lizardy
and alone
because
Minn is pigtailed
and lizardy
and an only child,
the only only child in her class.
∼
Whatever it is,
this morning
Minn is feeling
extra lizardy and alone,
and is wishing
she had a new true best friend,
someone
who would choose her
and keep her
for a true best friend, too.
2 / How NOT to Choose a True Best Friend
There are lots of good ways
to choose a friend.
You can choose a friend
because you like the same games,
or because you live on the same street,
or because your parents work together,
or because you need to borrow a pen.
Or you can choose a friend
because she smiles at you
and makes you feel good.
∼
Minn is not smiling at Jake.
No one is smiling at Jake,
and Jake does not feel good.
His new teacher, Mrs. Moss,
is almost smiling.
She seems to be trying to smile,
but she has a worried look,
a look that says,
Boy, do I have a headache—
and how
are we ever going to finish this chapter
before recess?
And all the kids
are staring at Jake
wondering,
Who is this new kid?
Why is he coming into fifth grade
in the middle of the year,
in the middle of the week,
in the middle of Morning Reading?
How can a fifth grader
be so short?
He should be a fourth grader,
or a third grader,
or a second grader,
or a first grader,
or a kindergartner, even!
∼
Everyone is staring at Jake
and Jake is staring back,
wishing
his father never took this new job,
wishing
his family never moved
away from Los Angeles
here to Santa Brunella,
wishing
he could move back today
to be with his old friends,
who never stared at him.
∼
Jake knows
everyone is staring at him
because he is so short,
and maybe also
because he has a new spiky haircut
that he never asked for
that makes him look
like a baby crow.
Jake is feeling bad,
so bad
that he is starting to do
what he always does
when he needs to feel better,
which is
to turn everyone into animals.
That boy there
with the striped shirt
was a tiger in another life—
no, a snake.
This boy here
with the busy hands
and twitchy nose
was a housefly
who died
stuck between a shut window
and a screen
full of fried-chicken grease.
And her,
with the freckles
and the long legs
and the very long pigtails,
once upon a time
she was one giant
squid.
∼
Jake is ready to turn his teacher,
Mrs. Moss,
into a
walrus—
then she says,
Pick a book off the shelf, Jake.
One of the blue ones.
Quickly!
Mrs. Moss is pointing
to the five-shelf bookcase.
Jake walks to the bookcase
and reaches for a book
off the bottom shelf.
No, Jake,
not one of those dark blue ones.
One of these light blue ones,
<
br /> this kind.
They’re mixed in with the others,
there,
on the number-four shelf, see?
Jake can see them all right,
there on the fourth-highest shelf,
two feet above his head.
He doesn’t even bother reaching up,
because then everyone will see
that he cannot reach them.
This kind? he asks Mrs. Moss,
pointing to a turquoise-colored book
on the fourth-lowest shelf.
Oh no, Jake, no—
pick someone to help you get one, OK?
Go ahead, choose a friend to help you.
Quickly!
∼
Jake looks around the room
at all the eyes.
There, in the corner,
glaring at him,
is Minn (the squid)—
the tallest kid
at Santa Brunella Elementary.
She is the tallest girl he has ever seen.
She is taller than Jake’s mom.
When Minn is sitting
she is almost as tall as Jake is
when he is standing.
I’ll bet she’s tall enough to reach
the ceiling,
Jake is thinking,
looking at her long, thin fingers.
Her, Jake says, pointing to Minn.
The one with the red shoes.
Mrs. Moss says,
Minn, please stand up and get a—
RRRRRRRINNNNNNNG!
As Minn grabs a book for Jake,
everyone rushes out the door to recess,
leaving Minn and Jake alone
with Mrs. Moss, who says,
Stick together at recess, you two, OK?
3 / Stuck
The worst thing that can happen
in fifth grade
is being stuck all recess long
with someone you don’t like.
But worse than that
is when you are stuck
all recess long
with someone you don’t like
who doesn’t like you, either.
∼
Jake chose Minn, yes,
but he didn’t choose her
to be his friend.
He chose her to pick a book
off the shelf.
Minn hates sticking out.
And she knows
Jake chose her because she stuck out,
because she is tall,
because of these dumb red shoes
her mother made her buy
because they were 50 percent off.
(She doesn’t know that Jake chose her
because she is tall
and also
because he wonders
what the life of a reincarnated giant squid is like.)
∼
Jake is practical, and a real diplomat.
Seeing as they’re stuck together,
Jake is thinking
at least he and Minn should try
to be nice to one another.
So Jake says,
Thank you for helping me get the book.
What’s your name, again? Minn?
What do you do for recess at this school?
Minn doesn’t answer.
She is walking fast,
straight toward the field.
Four square?
Football?
Soccer?
Snacks?
Minn doesn’t answer.
After they pass Miss Julie,
the recess teacher,
Minn breaks into a run.
Minn is running out to the field,
running twice as fast as any other kid,
shouting,
Come on!
Hurry up, Jake—
or it will be too late!
∼
Jake is not sure he wants to hurry.
But everyone is running to the field,
at least all the fifth graders,
so whatever is going on,
it must be good.
Hurry up! The worms!
Jake thinks, Worms?
At recess they play with worms?
But everyone is running,
so Jake starts to run to the field, too.
∼
Minn is almost there.
She turns around
to look back at Jake,
who is the slowest runner she has ever seen.
He is so slow
and so small
that he seems to be a quarter mile away.
Will he ever get here?
She is standing watching him
with her hands on her hips,
when screams
come out of the crowd
on the field.
Yuck! Oooooooh!
Don’t! It’s so disgusting!
∼
Minn cannot wait any longer.
She turns and starts to run again.
The whole thing will be over
by the time Jake catches up.
Minn sprints to the field.
Three steps before she gets there,
screams come from the crowd again.
I don’t believe he did it!
Wahooooo!
Yuck! Ugggh!
I told you!
Disgusting!
And then Henry bolts out of the crowd
and vomits in the bushes,
and wipes his mouth on his shirt,
and smiles.
Sabina screams,
Minn, you missed it!
Henry ate your worms!
But wait—
Vik’s going to do it now—
RRRRRRRINNNNNNNG!
4 / Minn’s Worms
The rest of the day is no picnic.
Of course
Miss Julie tells Mrs. Moss
what happened
with the worms
and Henry
and the vomit,
and Mrs. Moss decides
that for one month
fifth graders are not allowed
on the field.
And for the rest of the year
there is to be
no more eating live creatures
of any sort,
bugs
or spiders
or worms
or anything
anywhere on school grounds.
No more playing with them,
either.
∼
This last part really hurts Minn,
who loves more than anything
to watch the worms
wriggle across the mud.
When it is hot and dry,
too hot and dry for the worms,
Minn is the one who squirts the dirt
with the water bottle
she fills up at the drinking fountain.
∼
This is how
she learned the rivers and lakes
of the United States
for the fourth-grade geography unit.
Squirt! Squirt!
The Snake River!
Squirt! Squirt! Squirt! Squirt!
The Mississippi River!
Squirt! Dig! Splot!
Crater Lake!
∼
Minn takes care of her worms.
Once a week
she scoops up topsoil
in her two hands
from under the plum tree
near the school fence,
dark black soil
with bits of rotted plums mixed in,
and dumps it in the spot
where she knows the worms are.
Whenever it rains, after the rain,
Minn spends her recess time
searching the basketball court
for her worms.
When she finds them struggling,
she moves them back to the mud.
∼
&nbs
p; These were Minn’s worms
that Henry ate.
Vik had dared Henry to do it
to show everyone that he (Henry)
is not in love
with Minn.
(And now everyone knows that he—Henry—
definitely is in love with Minn.)
∼
This day
is turning into Minn’s most rotten day.
Can it possibly get worse?
5 / Yes
Yes,
it can get worse.
And it does.
Because
this is the day that Minn’s mother
calls the school office
to say she is stuck in traffic
a very long ways
behind some kind of
must-be-an-accident
on the jam-packed
hate-this-stupid-bridge
and helicopters are flying around
and Minn’s father is busy
in a meeting in the city
and so
yak yak yak
she will be an hour late,
at least.
Can you send Minn home with a friend?
Minn’s mother asks.
Just leave a note on the classroom door
so I’ll know where she is, OK?
∼
But by the time the office tells Mrs. Moss,
all of Minn’s friends
have been picked up
by parents who came on time.
All of the kids are gone
except for Jake
and his preschooler brother
and his mother who is busy
asking questions about homework.
The secretary has to leave now
for her dentist appointment,
and Mrs. Moss has to leave now
to pick her daughter up from school,
and the principal went home
ten minutes ago—
so Mrs. Moss asks,
Jake, you like to play with worms?
Before Jake can open his mouth,
Jake’s preschooler brother screams,
Yes!
6 / Soup
Jake’s little brother is named Jefferson,
but almost no one knows his name.
Everybody calls him
Soup.
Soup as in, What a super swimmer!
And also soup as in,
What is this water in your bath—
it looks like mud soup!
∼
Jake’s little brother has been swimming
ever since he was six months old.
Soup loves water.
He swims like a fish.
He acts like a fish, even.
(When Jake is feeling bad,
he imagines that in another life,
Soup was krill,
which is a very shrimpy
kind of shrimp,
swallowed by the thousands
by penguins and whales.
Thinking of Soup as krill
always makes Jake feel much better.)
∼
Soup is so much like a fish
that when he hears the word worms
Minn and Jake Page 1
