Her fingers moved to touch her lips at the memory. Annie let her fingers drop, trying to push the recollection away with a shake of her head. But she knew it was no use. It had been so long, so many years had passed and still she yearned for his touch.
Nobody would ever compare to him, her first love. Not that there had been many offers in the years since. But she had turned them all down, hoping that she would see him again. Knowing that she probably never would.
It had been the happiest three months of her entire adult life. Steve and his band had moved across to one of the larger cruise ships that toured the Mediterranean. Thankfully Annie had been able to grab one of the last positions available so that she could move with him. It had meant that she was now only a waitress in the restaurant but she didn’t care. It was worth it to spend each night with Steve, wrapped in his arms.
Then Rocky Relationship hit the big time. The radio stations had begun to play their song. Suddenly they were a top ten hit. They signed with a new manager and number one in the charts swiftly followed.
‘I’ve got to go, babe,’ Steve had told her. ‘Radio 1 wants us on the breakfast show. So do all the chat shows on the TV. We’re getting off this ship in the morning.’
The tears had rained down Annie’s cheeks but she knew she couldn’t stop him pursuing his dream.
‘I’m crazy about you,’ he had said between urgent, hungry kisses. ‘Don’t you worry, gorgeous. I won’t forget you.’
‘I love you,’ she had told him over and over as the ship docked in the morning. ‘I love you so much.’
‘I’ll call you, yeah? See ya babe,’ he said, before walking away down the gangplank.
Two months later, Annie had headed home for a week of shore leave, reluctantly staying with her mother and stepfather as she had nowhere else to go. She spent most of her week hiding in the tiny spare bedroom, keeping a low profile away from her stepdad’s fierce temper. But for once that wasn’t her biggest concern. She had never heard from Steve, despite endless texts and calls. He had probably lost his phone and had no way to contact her, she had told herself over and over. But she dreamed about him every night, thought about him every minute of every day.
She obsessed over the tiniest bit of news and Googling his name every day, she was amazed to discover that Rocky Relationship’s next gig was in Aldwych town the following evening. It was only ten miles away, an easy trip on the bus. She had to see him. Had to make contact with him otherwise he would think that she had forgotten all about him. She couldn’t bear him thinking that she didn’t love him.
But the day of their one-off gig was fraught. Yet another argument with her stepdad had gone on for hours, now that she was able to stand up to him. Finally, she stormed up to her bedroom and slammed the door shut.
Eventually, she had clambered out of her window and onto the garage roof to get out of the house late in the evening. In the pouring rain she had waited for the bus to take her into the town. But by the time she got to the town hall where the gig was being played, it was all over.
Near to despair, she begged the caretaker to tell her where the band was staying. Luckily it was just over the road, so she rushed across. She knew that Steve wouldn’t expect to see her but she couldn’t keep away. And she knew that he would feel the same way, that he wouldn’t have been able to eat, sleep or do anything since the last time they had seen each other.
The hotel manager didn’t seem to care about the band’s privacy and gave her Steve’s room number.
She was just running up the corridor towards his room when it opened and a much older blonde in a miniskirt appeared. Annie crashed to a halt as she watched her beloved Steve lean forward to kiss the woman.
‘I’ll call you, yeah? See ya babe,’ he said, before closing the door. It was the exact same thing he had said to her before they had parted on board the ship.
She passed the woman and banged on the bedroom door. ‘Steve!’ she shouted.
He opened up the door with a frown. ‘Blimey, it’s you!’
Annie barged past him and into the bedroom. She had still been hoping that she had imagined it all, but no, the bed covers were tangled.
‘You slept with that woman,’ she said, the breath almost knocked out of her.
He shrugged his shoulders in response.
‘But I thought…’ Annie’s voice trailed off. What had she thought? That he would declare his undying love for her? That he would take her with him? That she would leave her wretched home life and everything else behind and see the world with him? Perhaps.
But now, there wasn’t to be anything. No Steve. Ever again.
He took her elbow and gently moved her towards the door. On the way, he picked up his latest CD from a pile on the table.
‘Forgot to give this to you before,’ he said, opening up the door and nudging her through it. ‘See ya babe.’ And then he closed the door in her face.
Annie didn’t know how long she stood in the corridor. Minutes, hours? She was never sure how she found her way home either. But at some point, she let herself in through the front door. The fact that all the lights were on in the middle of the night should have alerted her but she was in too much misery to notice. Or care.
‘Where the hell have you been?’ said her stepdad, coming to stand in front of her in the hallway.
She went to move around him but he wouldn’t let her.
‘You little whore,’ he hissed, throwing a piece of plastic at her.
It bounced off her stomach and landed on the floor. When she looked down at it, she realised it was the pregnancy test that she had taken only that morning. The thin line in the window of the white plastic was hard to miss.
‘That’s private,’ she shouted, snatching it off the floor and clutching it to her chest.
‘Time for you to leave,’ he told her, picking up a nearby bag which she hadn’t noticed. ‘Your mother’s packed this for you. Now get out. We don’t need any more trouble here. Nor any more mouths to feed.’
‘But…’ Annie’s voice trailed off as she looked desperately around her stepdad to see her mother standing at the top of the stairs. Her mum gently shook her head at her daughter before looking away.
Annie found that she didn’t need to worry about her heart being broken by her mother’s lack of courage to defend her own daughter. It had already been smashed to pieces by Steve’s betrayal.
It didn’t matter that she lost the baby two weeks afterwards when she was back working on the ship. She had lost so much more. She had lost everything.
Back in the present day, Annie swiftly moved across the room to switch off the music on her phone.
Chapter 14
Sam stared around the ground floor of Willow Tree Hall with wide eyes. He had assumed Annie had been exaggerating about the state of the place but obviously he was wrong.
Not that he would admit that to her. ‘It’s not that bad,’ he lied.
‘No, it’s not,’ she replied.
Sam turned to her in stunned amazement that they were in agreement for once.
But then she carried on. ‘In fact, House Beautiful want to do a full-page spread on us this weekend. Photos and everything.’
He dismissed her sarcasm and tried to focus on the mess in front of them. ‘Where is everything?’ he asked, looking at the furniture covered with dust sheets. But every ornament and picture frame was missing.
‘Relax,’ replied Annie, pulling a sheet over an exposed corner of the sideboard. ‘I haven’t sold it all. We’ve boxed everything up and put it in the garage for safekeeping. Otherwise you’d have no inheritance apart from the walls. What’s left of them, that is.’
Sam turned to look at the back wall of the room where most of the plaster had fallen off onto the floorboards. ‘Apparently, you’ve got to get down to the brick in order to start again.’
‘Really?’ Annie’s voice was dripping with derision.
‘That’s what Kevin says,’ he replied, before realising how weak t
hat sounded.
‘Kevin says a lot of things,’ she said, shaking her head before walking out of the room.
Sam stood in silence for a minute before bringing out his phone to call Will.
‘Look, I think we’re out of our depth here,’ he told his brother. ‘I haven’t got time to project manage all this. Are you able to keep an eye on things for the next week or two?’
‘A bit hard when I’m still in the French Alps,’ drawled Will.
‘I thought you were coming home soon.’
‘I’m up to my eyes in legal paperwork and planning applications. What about you?’
‘Another day, another tour,’ said Sam, feeling weary.
‘So when the builders have actually finished, what are your plans for decoration?’ asked Will.
Sam frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I know it’s a bit optimistic but it’s just that I’m currently in the middle of choosing my own high-end finishing touches. What can you do with a stately home? You know, you can’t just paint the whole lot in magnolia when you’re done. Grandad will have a fit.’
Sam sighed. ‘I don’t know. Anyway, I think we’re a long way away from worrying about curtains at the moment.’
‘I realise that,’ Will told him, ‘but I think Alex is around this week. How about I send him down to see you this weekend before you head off again?’
Alex was Will’s best friend whom they had both known since their schooldays. He had branched out recently into interior decorating and was apparently quite good at it.
‘He’s got a good eye for these kind of things,’ carried on Will. ‘And he knows Willow Tree Hall. He stayed with us loads of times when we were young. Plus he’s done a cracking job with all of my places so far.’
‘We certainly could do with all the help we can get at the minute,’ said Sam, reluctantly agreeing to the meeting before hanging up.
As he wandered out into the entrance hall, he was besieged by the noise and mess once more. He silently admired Annie for putting up with it every day. But no wonder Aunt Rose had moved out temporarily.
Later on that afternoon, a long time after the builders had left on the dot of four o’clock, Sam found Annie washing up in the kitchen. The room was becoming darker as the sun set.
He flicked the switch for the overhead light. But rather than bursting into illumination, the wall socket gave out a small ‘bang’ and the plastic switch shot across the room.
‘It’s going well, don’t you think?’ he said, feeling slightly hysterical about what had just happened.
‘There isn’t any hot water either,’ she said, holding her hand out under the running tap.
Sam found himself wanting to laugh. ‘You still think this is the best place to live?’ he said, unable to hide the amusement in his voice.
But Annie obviously found no humour in the situation. ‘You just don’t get it, do you? Look around you! They’re destroying everything. Arthur would be so upset if he saw it like this.’
He narrowed his eyes. ‘You can’t say anything to him.’ Especially when his recovery was going so well. According to his aunt, Arthur was already up and on a walking frame making steady, if slow, progress with his mobility.
‘I know that,’ she snapped. ‘I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him.’
He suddenly felt cross. Was she insinuating that he would hurt his own grandad?
‘This really has nothing to do with you,’ he told her.
‘This has everything to do with me,’ she said, flinging down the last of the mugs into the sink with a clatter.
‘I haven’t a clue why it should. It’s not your home and anyway look at it!’ Sam waved his arm around. ‘It’s like living in a bloody museum, albeit one that’s falling down around you.’
‘Well, seeing as you don’t actually live here, it shouldn’t bother you so much.’
‘Leave my family alone,’ he said, fiercely.
She put her hands on her hips. ‘These people are my family!’
‘Well, go and find your own,’ he snapped back.
‘They don’t want me!’ she shouted.
For a second, Annie stared at him, still breathless from her anger. Then she turned and rushed out of the room, obviously upset.
Sam groaned at his own stupidity. He had sounded so childish. Even worse, he had definitely hurt Annie.
He found her five minutes later in the drawing room, on her knees in front of the fireplace. She struck a match and lit the kindling before sitting back on the floor, curling her arms around her legs. With all the furniture covered in sheets, she opted to sit on a dusty, threadbare rug instead.
He went to speak but she beat him to it.
‘Why do you think so little of me?’ she whispered, watching the flames. ‘What have I done to you that could possibly make you hate me so much?’
Her words hit him hard in the stomach. ‘You’ve done nothing at all,’ he said, crouching down beside her. ‘It’s me. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said just now.’
‘That’s OK.’
But Annie’s voice was small and he knew it wasn’t.
He sighed and settled down on the floor next to her.
She remained silent whilst they both watched the flames begin to rise. Eventually the couple of logs began to spit and crackle as the heat began to spread out of the fireplace.
‘I guess I’m jealous,’ Sam eventually found himself saying.
Annie finally turned her head to look at him. ‘Of what?’
‘Of the way my grandad feels about you. The ease at which you get on with everyone. All of it.’
She looked surprised. ‘I don’t think anybody’s ever felt jealous of me before. Nobody’s ever cared enough to take any notice of me.’
Sam tried not to stare but he could feel the sorrow seeping out of her. He shouldn’t have upset her and tried to think of something to say. But he couldn’t get away from her comment about families.
‘Where did your family move to when your mum remarried?’
‘Everywhere.’ She gave a humourless smile. ‘My stepdad never could keep a job for very long. He’s not what you would call very pleasant to work with.’ Under her breath, she added, ‘Or to live with.’
He wondered how bad things had been for her but didn’t want to upset her further by asking more questions.
Annie suddenly looked across at him. ‘Do you know how lucky you are to have a brother, grandfather and aunt that love you? To have people that want you in their lives and how sad it makes them that you stay away? Do you know how much some people dream of having that kind of love in their lives?’
He tried to take her words in but was overwhelmed by the sadness in her eyes. He had a sudden desire to take her into his arms and keep her safe forever. He leant forward to stoke the fire with the poker, feeling the need to do anything to distract his straying thoughts.
‘Your grandfather is a proud man so he was never going to ask for help,’ she told him. ‘I know you don’t trust me but you should trust how he feels about you. Stay here.’
She stood up and quickly left the room. Sam was wondering whether to follow her but she returned shortly carrying a scrapbook.
‘I found this when I was packing up the study,’ she said, holding it out for him. ‘It was hidden in the bookshelves.’
Sam’s mind was racing as he took it from her. What could it be? Family secrets? Yet more debts to be paid? But the last thing he had expected it to be was full of newspaper clippings about him.
He flicked through the pages before looking up at Annie. ‘He did all this?’
She nodded. ‘He’s proud of what you’ve done with your career.’
Sam felt stunned. Everything he thought he knew was completely wrong. He had always assumed that his grandfather had hated his choice of career. That he was embarrassed by Sam’s connection to the music industry. And yet, here was the proof that turned everything on its head. If only they had talked things through.
Sam felt ashamed. ‘I’ve let him down so badly. I’m such an idiot,’ he added with a groan. ‘I should have been here and not let things get so out of hand.’
‘Well, you’re here now,’ she said softly.
He nodded. ‘We’ll get it sorted,’ he told her. ‘Together, I hope.’
She turned to face him, her huge eyes studying him as if trying to believe him.
The trouble was, he wasn’t so sure he even believed it himself.
*
Annie had a frying pan and she wasn’t afraid to use it.
After growing up in the countryside, she knew she should be used to various animal intruders by now. But upon coming face to face with a large brown mouse in the middle of the kitchen floor, she still gave a girly shriek and jumped up onto a chair.
She grabbed the nearest thing to hand, which was the cast-iron pan on top of the Aga, and spun round, holding it high above her long hair.
Sam rushed into the kitchen. ‘What on earth’s the matter?’ he asked, still breathless from running down the corridor at the sound of screaming.
‘It’s a mouse,’ she told him, spinning round on the chair to show him where.
But at that moment, the ancient wooden chair gave an ominous creak and one of its legs snapped.
Annie found herself falling to the ground. Braced for impact against a hard, tiled floor, instead she fell on top of warm, soft Sam who had reached out to catch her.
For a moment they were a tangle of limbs on the ground, the only sound the clang of the pan hitting the tiles.
‘Are you OK?’ he asked, his face unexpectedly close to hers.
‘I think so,’ she replied, finding his aftershave invading her senses and making her dizzy. ‘Are you?’
‘That’ll serve me right for trying to be a hero,’ he told her, struggling up to a sitting position and rubbing his elbow.
As Annie sat up, she spotted the mouse sprinting across the uneven floor before diving into one of the many holes in the broken tiles and disappearing from sight.
‘I thought you were a country girl,’ said Sam, still holding his elbow.
A House to Mend a Broken Heart Page 12
