"You know I am not quite human, Teagan," he said softly.
This time her heart stood still and then began to thud. She closed her eyes for a moment, not wanting to face the superhuman thing. Flying. Clothes appearing. The memories she saw in his head. It was best to remain ignorant.
She moistened her lips. "I'm not certain I'm ready for this talk. I thought we were going to talk about my having to leave and why you think I'm not 'getting' it."
"We are going to talk about it." His hand tightened around her fingers. "I am Carpathian. We are an ancient race. There are very few of us left. For us, we have only one chance to find the woman who is our other half."
This time her heart and her stomach fluttered. She couldn't help it, she liked the idea of being his other half. She really did, whether or not she had to leave. She would never find another man. She knew that already. Just the thought of being apart from Andre was terrifying. She didn't know how she was going to let him go. And she didn't know how she had fallen so hard so fast, so she closed her mind, refusing to deal with the consequences until she had to.
"That woman, for me, Teagan, is you. Carpathian males are born imprinted with the ritual binding words. I suppose it is necessary in order to ensure our males are safe from the gathering darkness in us. In any case, when we find our other half, we bind the woman to us." Andre spoke gently but matter-of-factly.
He wasn't joking with her. She could hear it in his voice. She could see it on his face. His eyes had gone almost liquid with intensity. She cleared her throat. "Are you saying that you can bind a woman to you without her consent?"
"Yes." He watched her closely.
Teagan tried to pull her hand off of his thigh. Her hand remained exactly where it was, pressed tight against the column of pure muscle, his fingers tightly wrapped around hers.
"You didn't do that to me." She made it a statement because, well, he'd better not have done it to her.
"Yes."
She narrowed her eyes at him. Glared. Gave another tug at her hand. It was hard to deliver a blistering lecture on women's rights when her hand was pinned against his hard, very muscular thigh. "You're saying you said these ritual binding words to me and somehow, now, I'm tied to you."
"That is exactly what I did. I waited long for you. I would never take a chance on losing you. Of course I bound you to me."
There was no remorse whatsoever in his tone. Not even a little tiny bit. Her breath hissed out of her throat. "Well, you can just undo it. You have no right to do that to me without my consent."
"There is no undoing it. It is impossible."
She couldn't help it. She jerked out of the chair and tugged at her hand. When he didn't let her go, she gave him her most fierce, scary glare. It didn't seem to have any effect at all. "Let go. I need to pace. I think better when I pace."
He shook his head. "Teagan. You have to take me seriously. I know this is a lot for you to take in, but you have to know the truth."
"I am taking you seriously," she snapped.
Without releasing the hand at his thigh, his other arm wrapped around her waist and guided her gently back to the chair. "Then sit down. You have to hear all of it."
Her heart went back to thudding and her body went still. There was more? She knew he had done something to bind them together, as crazy as that sounded, because she absolutely didn't want to be away from him. She'd worked hard to be an independent woman. She really had been afraid of everything and she had been determined to overcome her fears--not allow them to dictate her life to her. Now she was bound to a man she barely knew and really didn't want to know any more about that.
She subsided back onto the chair, pulling her knees up for protection. "Andre, what does this binding entail? Maybe we can find a way to undo it. You can leave your body. I can tune to the exact . . ."
Andre's face darkened. If thunder took on a persona it would definitely be Andre. Teagan bit her lip. He was difficult to figure out. She wasn't even certain what she was dealing with and she'd just made love to him. She'd let him do all sorts of things to her body and her mind.
Before she could open her mouth and protest that he shouldn't be angry, she should, his fingers bit into her arms. He dragged her right off her chair and onto his lap. Close. Closer still, until her body was so tight against his, she couldn't tell where he started and she let off. Worse, she melted into him. The moment her body felt the heat of his, she went boneless.
Teagan tilted her head and looked into his eyes. Hot. A virtual blaze. He didn't look angry anymore, but the intensity burning in his eyes both scared and thrilled her. He dragged her closer and his mouth came down hard on hers.
His kiss was hotter than any he'd ever given her, his mouth demanding. No longer sweet and gentle. Taking rather than asking. It didn't matter in the least. Her body went weak, he had to breathe for her because she lost all breath, and her arms, of their own volition, slid around his neck. Honestly. She didn't do that, it just happened. She couldn't get any closer to him, he had her crushed against him, but still, she wanted to be right where she was. She wanted to crawl inside of him and stay there forever.
She wanted his kisses, long, drugging kisses she could never get enough of. She didn't understand why the moment he touched her, her body was no longer her own, but belonged to him. She really didn't understand why she felt his body was hers. She knew, as long as she lived, no one else would ever make her feel the way he did. Beautiful. Sexy. The only woman in the world.
You are the only woman in my world.
What man said things like that? Teagan had never heard anyone say such things to a woman. He began to lift his head and she chased him, tightening her hold on his neck and bringing her mouth back to his like a starving woman. She loved his taste. She loved the way he always took such firm control and his every touch was a flame on her skin. She kissed him over and over and then drowned again in his kisses.
Andre pulled back again, but this time, only far enough to press his forehead to hers. "There is no going back for us, Teagan. Even if there was a way to undo what I have done, I would not. You are mine. You are the keeper of my heart. Of my soul. My body belongs to you. All of me. I cannot survive without you."
Her entire body reacted to his words. To his tone. His black velvet voice slid over and into her. How could she not want to be that woman for him? She was a healer--an empath. She felt every word he said. Every single one. He meant them. For him, it was the absolute truth.
She moistened her lips. "Andre, I'm a modern woman. I don't like being told what to do. I don't like orders of any kind. How would we work? Visas aside. How could we possibly work? You have to know you're kind of bossy."
He shook his head. "That is untrue, Teagan. I do not tell you what to do unless it has to do with your safety."
"You can't tell me what to do at all, Andre. I have to make my own decisions. I'm all grown up."
"You left the safety of the cave, and you were nearly taken by a vampire."
Everything in her went still at the sound of his voice. Her gaze jumped to his. Her heart accelerated all over again. His expression was darker than ever. He looked seriously angry and she didn't want to wave a red flag in front of him, but he had to get what she was saying.
She licked her lips carefully, trying to moisten her sudden dry mouth. "That still has to be my choice, Andre," she said quietly. Firmly. Even though inside she had begun to shake. "It's called free will."
He shook his head. "Not in my world, Teagan. In my world there are rules we all live by. I hunt vampires, and they run in packs now. It is too dangerous to have an unprotected woman running around drawing their attention."
"You aren't getting it. This isn't about vampires, this is about you making decisions for me. That isn't acceptable."
He shrugged. Casually. Her head nearly exploded. She gritted her teeth to keep from shrieking at him like a shrew, even though he totally deserved it.
"What does that mean?"
"Tha
t means I refuse to argue about this. I will not allow you to place yourself in danger. Te avio palafertiilam. You are my lifemate. My wedded wife. The keeper of my heart and soul. Without my soul, I will be the undead, a curse on the world. There is no question that I would take such a risk."
She opened her mouth to blast him, but at his explanation, she closed it. She was very confused. Andre seemed to believe every word he said, and if it was the truth, that meant he could become a vampire. She wanted to tear her fingers through her hair, but it had taken hours to put all those braids in for her journey.
She took a deep breath. "I'm really intelligent, Andre, but I'm not getting this. You met me, and just like that you knew I was the one you wanted to bind yourself to?"
He nodded slowly. "The males of my people lose their emotions and the ability to see in color after the first two hundred years."
She closed her eyes briefly. She couldn't deal with the time thing right then. There were too many other issues. They'd have to come back to that one.
"We live long lives but the living is barren and cold. Brutal. When a man has nothing but violence, brutal and ugly in his life and he finds beauty, sweet, funny and vibrant color, believe me, csitri, he will do anything he can to hold on to it. He will fight, kill if necessary and he will protect, even if that woman thinks she is capable of protecting herself."
He was killing her with his words. She understood. Okay, maybe not really, because how could anyone comprehend what he was telling her? If she hadn't seen him kill the vampire, hadn't experienced flying or any of the other things he'd done, she would be certain he was absolutely out of his mind.
He made her feel special and beautiful and the way he looked at her with his gaze so focused and intent on her, she could easily believe she was the only woman in his world. She took a breath and opened her mouth to speak.
He got there first. "Sivamet, seriously, you scared me. Terrified me."
Teagan studied his face. God. He was beautiful. Masculine. Strong. Alone. She shook her head.
He placed his hands on either side of her head. "Open your mind to me. See me. I was terrified for you. For me. For the world. See me, Teagan. You have to know."
She was fairly certain she didn't want to know any more, but it was too late to protest. Already he was pouring into her mind, and this time he opened himself to her fully. She thought she knew fear, but even the terror of the vampire's attack didn't compare with the sheer naked horror of that moment for Andre.
The terror wasn't for Andre, but for her and what the vampire would do to her. The horror she would experience before she died. And she would die hard. And then fear that if he didn't reach her, he would lose his honor. He would become the very thing he had hunted and destroyed to keep the world safe.
She felt sick, her stomach churning. Her body shut down, frozen with the knowledge that this man had gone through such trauma on her behalf. She would never fully comprehend it.
"Andre," she whispered, and trailed kisses to his jaw and back up to the corner of his mouth, as if that could somehow erase what had happened between them.
"You have to understand, Teagan. I know it is difficult for you, the transition into my world. I wanted to bring you in gently. To court you in the way you deserve. But you do not listen. You are of the modern world and you cannot comprehend the dangers of my world. Te avio palafertiilam. You are my lifemate and you must live in my world with me. We no longer can be apart."
His knuckles stroked down her face in a gentle caress. "I know that frightens you, Teagan, but there is no need."
"Are you kidding, Andre? You have vampires in your world."
"They were in your world as well. The difference is, you know about them now. You know they are difficult to kill and someone has to do it. I just have to make certain you are safe when I do so."
She took a deep breath. He was holding her so close. So lovingly. She was surrounded completely by his warmth. She could still feel the evidence of him inside of her, a thick, beautiful invasion that made her feel complete and perfect. The way he touched her, everything about him.
"Tell me what living in the rules of your world means." She didn't do bossy well. She knew that, but maybe for him, she could find a balance. She couldn't help the little tremor that ran through her at the enormity of what she was considering. "You took my blood in the way a vampire would. Why? How?" Her gaze jumped to his mouth. He had perfect teeth, not fangs.
"I am Carpathian. We exist on blood. We do not kill. We are careful to be respectful and to ensure those who supply us do not remember."
"But not me."
"You are entering my world. It will be necessary for you to accept the fact that we have no choice. We must have blood to survive."
She shook her head. The taste of him was suddenly in her mouth. Her eyes widened. "Wait a minute. Don't say anything else. Not another word." She tried to break free of him, of the iron band of his arms and his mind. Suddenly other things were coming back to her. A dream world with her mouth on Andre's neck.
"Oh, God. No. No. No, no, no." She shook her head, panic filling her. "I didn't. Tell me right now, I didn't take your blood."
"Be calm, Teagan," Andre advised. "You need to be calm and accept what I am telling you. It simply is. There is no good or bad. It just is. This is my life. Now our life."
She shook her head. "Not mine. I do not drink blood. Are you kidding me?" Her voice was swinging out of control. "I drank your blood once?" Her stomach lurched and she pressed a hand tightly against it.
"Twice," he said calmly. "It takes three blood exchanges for you to come fully into my world."
This couldn't be happening. She really was batty. Completely around the bend. Grandma Trixie had infected her with some brain disease. They were all crazy. She belonged in a hospital. She tried again to pull away from Andre, but he held her firmly.
"Breathe. You need to breathe, sivamet. It is simply a fact of our lives."
"Not my life," she corrected. "Let go of me. I'm getting out of here. And don't you try to follow me. You had no right."
"I had every right," he returned. "Calm down."
"You be calm. I'm going to scream my head off if you try to keep me here. Blood? I ingested blood twice?" She touched her lips with trembling fingers.
The worst of it all was that she remembered now. She remembered his exquisite taste. Addictive. She craved it again. Just the mere thought of taking his blood sent tingles through her body--sent heat rushing through her veins, and her sex actually spasmed. She was crazy. Insane. And he'd made her that way.
Andre sighed. "Csitri, I would not hurt you for the world. Not physically and not emotionally. I cannot do anything about this situation you find yourself in. You are my lifemate. I see in colors. My emotions have returned and with them, when you placed yourself in danger, came terror. Absolute terror. I have spent centuries keeping this world safe from the undead, but throughout, the whisper of temptation was always with me. Crouched so close I could hear darkness breathing in my ear."
Teagan went still again. There was something in his voice that told her what he was saying was extremely important. Something huge. A gift that he was giving her. This wasn't a man who enjoyed having heart-to-hearts. She knew that instinctively. She knew he was hurting because she felt it. He was hurting for her. His resolve remained implacable, but that didn't stop him from having compassion for her.
She wanted to be a woman who was understanding when her man was upset and behaving irrationally, but seriously, drinking blood? She was human. It was probably going to make her sick. And if her grandmother ever found out, she might use her Internet vampire-hunting kit on her.
Andre sighed. "You do not understand, Teagan. I have only tasted that kind of fear one other time in my entire existence. I have faced multiple vampires and deadly armies of humans. I have never felt fear. Or terror. The one other time ended far differently than this one did."
She didn't want to hear this. Or see it, but
already images were in his head. Strangely, his memories were vague and always colored in gray. She found few memories of his childhood, and she'd actually looked because she wanted to see what he'd been like as a boy. But there was nothing. Not even a memory of his mother and father. She didn't even know if he had siblings.
He was a confusing man. Monk. Bounty hunter. Vampire hunter. Now Carpathian. Who knew? But this . . . this memory was vivid, not in color, as if he were color-blind, and maybe he was. She shook her head and tried to pull out of his mind.
"I don't want to see this, Andre. I'm too . . ." What could she say? Sensitive? He'd actually gone through the experience--the one time he'd been terrified just like this time. She sounded self-centered saying she was too sensitive, but truthfully, she was an empath and she already knew she wouldn't be able to take what he was about to show her--as well as tell her.
"You have to know, csitri. I am not a dictator. I do not want things all my way. I meant it when I bound us together and said your happiness would be put before my own."
Uh-oh. Bound them together? She liked the part about putting her happiness before his own. She was willing to do the same, but the binding them together only made her see red all over again. Where was free will in his world?
Fear cruised down her spine because the way was all too familiar now. Binding. Blood taking. Flying. Things were getting out of hand, and all Andre seemed to have to do was kiss her silly and she just succumbed. Went under his spell willingly. Drowned in him.
Teagan bit her lip. "Um. Seriously, Andre, we need to talk more about this binding and other things." She didn't want to talk about them. That was the last thing she wanted to do. His eyebrows drew together and he looked as if he was getting upset all over again.
She laid her hand over his mouth. "Wait. I've changed my mind, Andre. If you tell me you sleep in the ground, then I'll have no choice but to stake you. There's no staking a man as gorgeous as you. It would be a sin. A mortal sin. Like I'd be eternally damned or something. You already had one hole in your chest and honestly, it wasn't that good of a look, even for someone as hot as you."
She chewed on her lip for another moment and then, she couldn't help herself, she ran her fingers lightly down his face, right where he should have had scars from the vampire. "I couldn't do it, you know. If you're really a vampire, if Carpathian is just a really nice word for vampire, you need to tell me and just get it over with. I'd have to let you kill me. I just couldn't even try to destroy you. You don't feel evil. You feel like a man who has more integrity and honor than any other man in the world."
Dark Ghost Page 19
