by Liz Botts
“I am asking you to go with me. Not as friends either, but as my date.” The nervous expression that flitted across Jake’s face made my heart swell with love for him. I almost blurted out the depth of my feelings, but somehow managed to hold my tongue.
“I’d love to go as your date,” I said. A giggle slipped past my lips as Jake let out a sigh of relief. He fumbled slightly with the plastic box in his hand as he pulled out the flowers, and slipped them on my wrist.
Chapter Twenty
When we pulled up to my grandparents’ farm the lights from the barn were already blazing, and cars and trucks were parked everywhere. Jake jogged around the side of the truck to open the door for me. He took my hand, and as our fingers twined together, chills raced up and down my spine.
My grandparents had decorated everything exactly the way we had described, and Lauren’s band was in full swing. I loved the glove lights hanging from the rafters. The soft yellow light cast everything in a romantic glow. Leaning into Jake, I felt the giddy rush of being on a date. A date with my best friend.
“This is so weird,” I said with a giggle.
Jake looked down at me with furrowed brows. “Weird?”
He sounded worried, so I pulled him off to one side. “Not bad. It’s just…I never realized that I wanted this so it’s weird.”
“And you want this?”
“Absolutely. I’ve never wanted anything more.”
Jake grinned. His smile sunshine breaking through clouds. “Me too.”
He pulled me in to a hug, and looked down at me. For a moment I thought he might kiss me, but instead he said, “Why don’t we go get some food? Maybe some pie.”
I laughed, but disappointment swept over me. Now that this date was happening, now that I had opened the flood gates of my feelings for Jake, I wanted him to kiss me, to make up for the past however long I had been feeling this way and denying it.
We got to the buffet table just as Back Roads Rebels launched into a ballad. Jake stopped so abruptly that I ran into him. “Let’s dance.”
He pulled me onto the dance floor before I had a chance to think about it. As we swayed to the song, Lauren’s voice wrapped around the room and created magic. Again I was amazed at the moment. I had not thought when I had reluctantly entered the special events planning class that I would end up at the prom with Jake. Looking back on the past few months, I could see how the distance between the two of us had been caused by our unspoken feelings, most of which were still unspoken.
I looked up at him, and caught him looking at me. And before I had a chance to think, Jake’s lips were on mine in a feather soft kiss that took my breath away and left me weak in the knees. I had to cling to his arms tighter so I didn’t fall over.
“You two should take that outside.”
We looked over at to see Mary Beth standing nearby. She was glaring at us with her signature look, but behind the anger I could see that her eyes were shiny. When she turned on her heel and stalked away, I broke away from Jake.
“I’ll be just a second.” I caught up with Mary Beth by the dessert table. My grandma’s pies were set three deep on the table. “Hey, Mary Beth. This turned out really great. I just wanted to say that.”
“Have you and Jake been messing around behind my back the whole time?” Her voice was hurt and upset and shaky.
“What?” I felt a flare of annoyance, but told myself to count to ten. “No. We…we’re complicated. But Jake would never do anything like that. He’s too good a guy.”
Mary Beth sniffled. “That’s what makes this so awful. I really liked him, but all he wanted was you. So congratulations.”
I watched as she stomped off, feeling confounded. She had every right to feel hurt and upset, but I wished that that there had been a way to smooth things over. I hated unresolved conflict. With a sigh, I went back to Jake.
“Don’t worry about her,” Jake said softly. “I hurt her. Not you. Let that be on me. Can we get out of here for a while? Maybe walk over to the silo? I think we need to talk.”
My heart drummed hard in my chest as we slipped out into the rapidly darkening night, and headed for the defunct silo that my grandma used as an art studio. Thousands of thoughts raced through my head. The one I kept landing on was the question of what Jake wanted to talk about. I knew why we needed to have this discussion, but now that I realized how much I cared about him, how much I loved him, I knew that anything but a reciprocation of those feelings would crush me, smash me, decimate me.
When we got to the door, Jake reached into the hole drilled at the top of the door frame to retrieve the key.
We slipped into the dark space, and I went over to the desk to click on the small lamp. No one would notice the soft yellow glow so it was unlikely that we’d get caught. I guessed I had some special privileges, too, since this was my grandparents’ farm. If not, so what? We were so close to graduation.
The silence that encompassed us felt deep and thick and wide, almost unbridgeable. I didn’t want to be the first one to speak, but I had a feeling Jake had the same thought. Whoever spoke first would have the burden of being completely vulnerable. Just the idea of baring my soul made me feel queasy.
“Allie.” Jake’s voice was coarse and heavy. The sound of it sent chills skittering down my spine. “This,” he paused and gestured between us. “I’ve waited so long for this to happen.”
“Really? I honestly had no idea.”
Jake chuckled. “I know. I tried to hide it. I couldn’t risk losing you. Better to have you as a friend in my life, than not at all. There wasn’t a day that went by that my feelings didn’t get deeper for you. I…I love you, Al. I’m in love with you. I have been for years.”
And there it was. Jake’s soul open to me, at my mercy. I could see the uncertainty in his eyes so I closed the space between us, and wrapped my arms around him. As I pressed my cheek to his chest I said, “I love you too, Jake. I just didn’t know it until I didn’t have you anymore. These past few months…”
“They’ve been awful,” Jake agreed, hugging me back. “When you started getting so wrapped up in your internship, you just weren’t the same person, and I was so sure I’d lost you for good. And then you started dating that guy.” He shook his head, and then rested his chin on my hair. “I hate to admit it but I just started hanging out with Mary Beth to make you jealous, to kill time. That makes me sound like such a jerk.”
“You aren’t. You are one of the nicest people I’ve ever known.” I paused as I tried to organize my thoughts. Then I stepped back so I could look up into his eyes. “I didn’t even notice we were drifting apart until it happened. That day that your grandpa talked to Bonnie on the air from inside the bank? That day I became a big deal. I mean, I’m seventeen and I have my own weekly segment on the news. How many people can say that? Jake, it just all went to my head. I’ve missed so much because I let pride get the best of me.”
Jake trailed a hand along my bare arm. The delicious shivers that followed were enough to distract me from our rather serious conversation. He laughed softly when he saw my reaction. “We’ve both made mistakes. We’re both human. And yet we still managed to find our way here tonight together.”
“So where do we go from here?” I asked.
“Well, I’d say we go back to the dance. We are being graded on it.” The laughter in Jake’s voice made my heart swell. “And then? We just take it slow. There’s no rush. Since I’m going to State with you, and we’ll both be living at home, I’d say we’ll be seeing plenty of each other. We have plenty of time.”
Jake’s eyes twinkled as he looked down at me. I would never get sick of staring into those eyes. “We have a lifetime,” I breathed. As soon as I said the words, I knew they were true. Jake was my future, no doubt about that. As he leaned in to kiss me again, I knew that our relationship would truly be newsworthy.
About the Author
Liz Botts was born, raised, and still lives in northern Illinois with her husband and three
small children (two boys and a baby girl). When not writing, she enjoys reading, sewing, trying new recipes, and hanging with her kids. She is proud to pass her love of stories on to her children, and makes several trips to the library each week. After working with teenagers for several years, she decided to write stories about them instead.
Also by Liz Botts
Chapter One
“Look out!”
I was drawn out of my Kyle and Claudia contemplation just in time to see a basketball hurtling toward my head. Well, a basketball and Josh Larson. Josh knocked the ball away just as it was about to make contact and landed hard on the bleacher in front of me, wincing in pain.
“Oh my gosh!” Claudia jumped to her feet. “Josh! Are you okay? That was so brave.”
I stared at him mutely as he glanced up at me. There wasn’t a chance to say anything anyway because his coach rushed over and helped him up and down to the court as a smattering of applause began to trickle through the crowd.
“That was so amazing,” Claudia said, eyes wide. “Can you believe that Josh Larson totally just saved you from a grotesque injury that totally would have prevented you from trying out for the play? I mean, it’s totally like he’s your knight in shining armor.”
Nothing seemed to be penetrating my skull at that moment. I gazed from Josh to Claudia and could only wonder why Claudia was still talking. I mouthed “thank you” to the back of Josh’s head. I hoped he heard my thoughts through telepathy or something.
My train of thought had effectively derailed. I sat mutely staring at the action on the court, nodding at whatever Claudia blathered about, and tried to remember why I had wanted to come to the game in the first place. When the half time buzzer finally sounded, I almost groaned with a mixture of relief and annoyance. I still had half a game to get through, and I wasn’t sure I could handle more of Claudia chattering in my ear.
“Hey, Claud, listen, I’m going to, um, run to the bathroom real quick,” I said, interrupting her stream of conscious rambling. “I want to be back to watch my sister perform.”
Claudia nodded. “You’re so lucky to have a sister with so much talent and school spirit. You must be so proud of her.”
The hallway outside the gym was a little quieter than the deafening roar inside, but with all the people milling about it was incredibly hot and sticky. I decided to head down to the music hallway for a little peace and quiet. I’d run into Maggie down there anyway. Half the band had run back toward the band room as soon as the buzzer sounded to do who knows what. They had to be back by the time the cheerleaders performed. They were the accompaniment after all.
Ever since my drama teacher, Ms. Bard, had announced that the object of my affection, Kyle, had written this year’s spring musical, my heart had been in overdrive. Finally, I saw a way to get Kyle to notice me beyond just as a drama club friend.
I was almost to the band room door when I heard someone call my name. I was pleased to see Kyle jogging toward me, a gorgeous half smile on his face.
“I’ve been looking all over for you,” he said.
“You have?” I replied, my heart doing a strange fluttering thing in my chest.
Kyle nodded, getting quite serious. “I have,” he repeated. “I didn’t want to say anything in front of Claudia, but I really think you should audition for Kelly’s little sister. It would be great training for you to have the lead next year.”
My heart stopped fluttering and plunged straight into my stomach. “Oh?” I said, hoping that my voice was steady. “Actually I was thinking about auditioning for Kelly myself.”
I was? Where had that come from? The words had popped out unbidden, but now that they were out, I didn’t want to take them back because they were true.
Kyle reached out and began twirling a strand of my hair around his thumb. “Oh, come on, Hanns, you know a junior will never get the lead.”
“I know that,” I said, my voice a whisper, “but it can’t hurt to try. Besides I think that would be good practice for next year.”
Kyle rolled the strand all the way up to my scalp and tugged me closer to him. I think he meant it to be sexy, but it sort of hurt. I couldn’t help but flinch. “Hannah, Hannah, Hannah. It’s great that you’re that committed and all, but don’t you think it’ll just be a big waste of time? And a big disappointment?”
I forced myself to focus on the fact that Kyle was putting me down and not on the fact that we were standing six inches apart and he smelled completely amazing, but it wasn’t easy as Kyle’s fingers worked their way onto my scalp. He sort of had hold of my head now, it wasn’t entirely unwelcome either. He shook me gently as if to get me to reply.
“I guess you’re right. I don’t really want to waste everyone’s time or anything. Would you…um…would you help me get ready for the audition?” I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“If you want,” Kyle grinned, releasing my hair. “You’ll make an awesome supporting role for Kelly.”
I actually had to lean against the wall as I watched him walk away. What had just happened here? My brain clicked slowly through the conversation trying to pinpoint what I had agreed to, and more importantly, what I had actually decided. I refused to be the girl who gave in to some guy’s pressure no matter how small the demand. Just because I said I would do anything to get Kyle to notice me/like me/want me/take me/date me, that didn’t mean I intended to give up on myself the second he showed interest in me.
And yet, that’s exactly what I’d just done. Kyle touched me and I gave in to what he wanted within thirty seconds. That didn’t bode well for me if we ever were to date. As band kids flooded the hallway, my senses kicked back in, as did my resolve. I was going to audition for Kelly. Once Kyle saw how awesome I was at the audition, he’d forgive me for my little deception.
Maggie caught up with me and started chattering about the newest band geek love triangle as we headed back to the gym.
I scanned the bleachers for Claudia when we got back in the gym. Not because I wanted to sit with her, but because I didn’t want to sit by myself. When I finally located her, I wished I hadn’t because she was standing entirely too close to Kyle, giggling at something.
Instead of subjecting myself to another disgusting and humiliating witness of Claudia’s flirtatiousness, I settled myself near Maggie’s section of the band. The musicians started to queue up for the cheerleaders’ entrance, and I felt a strange tickle of satisfaction knowing that Kyle had to get back to his section, leaving Claudia all by her lonesome.
The music began as the cheerleaders exploded onto the court. I tried to concentrate so that I could congratulate Hayley on a job well done later, but cheerleading isn’t my thing, so my attention wandered. As I looked across the crowd, I wasn’t surprised to see most eyes trained on the girls on the floor, but when my gaze ran straight into another pair of eyes, I think I almost gasped out loud. I hadn’t been expecting anyone else to be looking back at me, and even more shocking was that it was Josh Larson.
And even if he did have some seriously pretty eyes, I thought Hayley said he was dating, or at least hooking up with, one or two of the girls on the cheerleading squad. I mean, shouldn’t he have been paying more attention to them or something. Instead of looking around the gym and making girls like me squirm. I finally had to look away. Forcing my attention back to the gym floor, I decided to set about planning how to get Kyle to approve of my Kelly audition without telling him what I was planning.
The rest of the game passed in a blur as I tried to sort through various scenarios in which Kyle was so impressed with my audition that he asked me to prom on the spot. Not that getting asked to prom was that big a deal to me or anything, but I couldn’t imagine anything more amazing than getting asked to prom in front of the whole drama club. By Kyle nonetheless. In my fantasy, Kyle jumped up on stage after my audition and declared it the best thing he’d ever seen. Then with amazement still shining in his eyes, Kyle dropped down on one knee and asked me to be his date at prom.
Every girl in the auditorium would be green with envy, and I would swoon and say yes, of course.
Granted my fantasy was a slight blur of a marriage proposal, but being asked to prom was the next best thing in our school. People put so much emphasis on prom and asking/being asked in the most creative way possible that you’d think we were straight from some cheesy teen movie where all the students know the exact same dance at the party. And they all look really amazing even when they’re supposed to be geeky and ugly.
“Earth to zombie girl.” Hayley was calling to me by the time I emerged from my daze. She looked supremely annoyed, what with the crossed arms and perpetual scowl. It was hard to believe she was pretty under all that grouchiness.
We trudged to the car in silence, shivering against the biting January wind. My car took its own sluggish time turning on, and no matter how high we turned the heat up, only cold air blew at us through the vents.
“This car is a piece of crap,” Hayley said, adding a few choice words as a shudder rolled through the car.
“Hayley!” I snapped. “Language.”
“Oh whatever,” Hayley rolled her eyes. “Like you never swear. Whatever.”
Lapsing back into silence, I wracked my brain for something to say, figuring conversation would take our minds off the cold. “Hey, you were really good tonight,” I said. “It seemed like everyone was really in to it. The crowd, I mean. You guys are always really in to it.”
Gosh, I was saying really a lot.
Hayley crossed her arms, whether out of annoyance or cold I couldn’t be sure. Glancing at me she said, “Thanks. It turned out okay I guess. Becky can never remember her moves. She just ticks me off so much.”
“That’s too bad,” I replied, hoping I sounded somewhat sympathetic. In all honesty, I couldn’t remember who Becky was, nor had I noticed anyone forgetting their moves.
Hayley shrugged. “Whatever. She just sucks, that’s all. I think Mike is going to ask me to prom.”
