by Miria Masdan
“I just want to go,” I slump over and rest my head on my folded arms. “Please, kill me, please.”
He rests his hand gently on my back, “it doesn’t have to be the end.”
“Pam,” I sob. Just saying her name rips me apart, “he killed her.”
“I’m sorry,” he leans closer. “I didn’t know. I underestimated him.”
“He’s dead?’
“Yeah, but there’s always someone waiting to fill the top spot,” he says. “It won’t be long before he’s replaced, and they will come for us, for you.”
He picks me up and cradles me in his arms. I don’t resist. I haven’t any will or energy left in me for a fight.
“Quinn?”
“He doesn’t love you,” he says, “How could he? You’re broken; I’m broken…his whole purpose in life is to destroy people like us.”
His words echo in my mind. He’s right. Quinn can’t love me; he would have to give up everything. Adam only wants whatever information is buried deep in my programs; he doesn’t love me. But Ian and I; we are the same.
CHAPTER FORTY- SIX
Quinn
We pull off on the side of the road. All we can see are the headlights, shooting straight up into the night sky. I jump out and run down the embankment. I slip in the mud; sliding right into the side of the car.
Max and the others are right behind me. It’s turned over onto its roof. The backdoor is open. I look inside; I’m not sure what I expect to see, but I know I’m not prepared to see her.
Max shines a light. Rizzio’s body is twisted and mangled, covered in blood. There is no one else in the car. I sit with my back to the door and rest my head on my knees. I’m shaking but relieved that she’s not dead.
“I found the driver,” Chris shouts. “Someone shot him in the head.”
“So someone got here before we did?” I hear Smith say.
“I bet it was Black,” Max says.
“Well Rizzio is dead,” Smith is kneeling next to me. He gives me a shove “one less bad guy to worry about.”
“What about Grace?” Max asks, “If Rizzio had her…where is she now?”
“We’ll find them,” says Smith. “I’m willing to bet Black killed Mandy, and if that’s the case; I bet he has Grace.”
“Why,” I look up at my friends. “What’s so important about her?”
“You don’t remember anything about her,” Max asks, “you don’t remember what we found out when we were in the Under?’
“No,” I say.
“She has some unusual energy spikes,” he says. “She’s broken. We’re not sure how damaged she is, but we know that she’s always heightened, and then there’s the information that is stored inside her program, that no one can access because she has the most advanced security system that I have ever seen.”
“So that’s what they want with her.”
“Whatever is causing her damage,” says Max, “that’s what we need to look at. We need to find a way around her security.”
“It’s such a shame,” says Smith. “She’s so hot.”
“Nothing is going to happen to her,” I say, “We can fix her, keep her safe.”
Smith looks at Max; I don’t like his expression, “What’s wrong,” I ask?
“Quinn,” he starts, “you have the virus. Your reactions are not protocol. When we get back, and you have to scan; they’ll know.”
“So I have no time,” I say. “I can’t help her from beyond the walls.”
“We’ll do all we can to help,” Smith says.
“But when the time comes,” Max interrupts, “I have to take you in. You have twenty fours to figure this out.”
I look at my friend. I wouldn’t expect anything less of him. He is only doing his duty, being loyal to the Federation. Hell, a week ago I would have done the same thing, but not now. She’s changed me, and I want more.
We head back to the East City. It’s almost morning. The sun is illuminating the outer rim, and beyond are the wastelands. The meadow glistens with a heavy frost, but the forest is still covered in shadows.
If I can’t fix her; she’ll be banished. She’ll be sent out alone to live in the wastelands. She is so weak and small. There’s no way she’ll survive. Will I be able to live with myself; if I fail? We would have a chance together. I could wait for her, find her, and we could search for the settlements together.
I close my eyes. I can see her face; bruised and bloody. What if she didn’t survive the crash? What if Black kills her before I can save her? What if I never find out? My head is spinning, and my body aches. I let out a deep groan.
“You need to get checked out,” Chris says.
I open my eyes. I look down at myself. My ribs hurt, but I can breathe. Hopefully, that means that they aren’t broken. I don’t have time to heal.
“I need to remember,” I say. “Emma said we have a past together. I need to know everything.”
“Listen,” Chris says, “I don’t know much, all I know is, you use to talk about her all the time, but something happened. She died. No one ever knew what happened. She was there one day, and then just gone. There were rumors, man they weren’t good. A lot of crazy shit, a lot of covering up, and people just disappearing.”
“When I joined Defense my memory was reset,” I say. “They just took her from me.”
“I know a guy,” Chris says. “If anyone can restore your memories, it’s him.”
“Quinn,” Max says. “You had your reasons, are you sure remembering is the right thing to do?”
“I have to remember everything if I’m going to help her,” I say.
“You’ll be giving up your life,” Max warns. “Defense takes those memories; it’s the only way to maintain protocol.”
“I understand,” I say. “But there’s nothing left for me. If you’re right, and I have the virus; it’s all over for me. I’m going to find her and get us both out of here.”
“Where the Hell do you plan on going,” Smith asks?
“We’ll find the settlements,” I say.
“You can’t just leave,” Smith says. “They can track you.”
“I can’t believe I’m hearing this,” Max says. “You’re putting me in a very awkward position.”
“What about Grace,” I ask? “Don’t you care about what happens to her?”
“I do,” he says, “but I’m not willing to give it all up.”
“Well,” I say, “I am.”
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
Emma
I have no idea where I am, but it’s warm, clean, and I have a bed. I slip out of my dress. It’s torn and dirty. I curl up under the blankets. The pillow is soft, and I can feel my body relax. My eyelids are heavy, but I try to keep them open.
The door opens. Ian walks in carrying a tray. He sits on the edge of the bed.
“I brought you some food,” he says, “and some first aid.”
“Thank you,” I say.
I roll onto my back and let him clean my face. He is gentle and quiet. He puts ointment and bandages on my wounds.
“Let’s look at your ankle,” he lifts up the blanket.
I grab the blanket and hold it close to my chest. He looks at me, and then back to my cast.
“It needs to be re-done,” he says. “You might have some permanent damage.”
“I haven’t been a very good patient,” I say.
He laughs, “No you haven’t.”
“What are you going to do with me?”
“I’m not sure,” he says. “I got what I wanted…the weapons.”
“Let me go,” I say. “I want to go home.”
He looks away from me. He picks up a piece of food and places it on a different part of the tray. He sets the tray on the table and gets up.
“What are you doing?”
“I have to go,” he says. “I’ll check on you later.”
“You didn’t answer me,” I say.
“Emma,” he doesn’t look at me.
> “What?” My heart is racing. He’s acting strange. “Tell me!”
“There was an accident,” he says, “at least that’s what they are calling it, but we know different.”
“What?”
“It was a shuttle,” he says. “They were coming back from the Council meeting…no one made it.”
“What are you saying,” I refuse to cry. I want answers. I want the truth. “What happened?”
“It was a warning,” he says, “to scare people. If they blame it on the rebels; the citizens will rally behind the Federation.”
“My father?”
“I’m sorry,” he says. He stands up. He doesn’t back away; he just waits.
“What am I supposed to do?”
“There’s more,” his voice is uneven and hesitant. “He wasn’t alone.”
His words hit me like a shock wave: hard and unforgiving. I cover my ears. I can’t see through the tears.
“Your mother,” he touches my face. “I’m sorry.”
My mind is bursting. I can’t control the images, the feelings crash into me in intense pulses of light and dark and pain. I can feel him, holding me. When I met him, I was terrified of him. He was the bad guy; the one who threatened me, my family, and my friends. But it is him that comforts me now; who accepts me in all my broken mess.
He wants what I have inside me, just the same as Rizzio and Benson. But it is different with him; he is here now, and he is broken too. He eases me back down on the bed. He covers me with the blanket, and he wipes my tears. I close my eyes. I want to escape, and sleep is my only option. He rubs my back and smoothes my hair until I fall asleep.
My slumber is filled with memories of them: Mandy, Pam, my mother, and father. Quinn and Adam both bring heartache into my nightmares. I wake up.
It is dark. The one light next to my bed is turned off. I sit up and rub my face. I let my eyes adjust, and then I see him there: Ian.
“Hey,” he says. “Do you need anything?”
“No,” I say.
“I know what you want,” he says. “I can’t stop you; I won’t.”
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“You can leave, but first I want to show you something,” He stands up. “Get dressed.”
I meet him in the hallway. He looks tired, not at all the handsome man dressed for a fancy dinner with Rizzio. It’s strange what can happen in twenty-four hours.
“I have someone I’d like you to meet,” he says.
“Who,” I ask?
“Come with me,” he leads me down the hall to a door. He looks at me with a smile, “open it.”
I grab the handle and slowly push. I peer inside. There is a women sitting at a table, her back is turned to me, but I recognize her immediately.
“Grace,” I say.
She turns and looks at me. “You’re awake. How are you feeling?”
“I’m sore, but I’m okay for now,” I say. “How long have you been here?”
“After I talked to you Ian’s men came for me,” she says. “Something is happening. I can’t explain it, but I can feel everything.”
“What?”
“I’m heightened, like you,” she says. “I was fine. I went back to normal, and then it slowly started.”
“How is that possible?”
“We detected a virus in her system,” Ian says. “It’s not just her; I’ve heard of other interns and some citizens in Political too.”
“I’m off-line,” Grace says. “Ian’s tech team disconnected me.”
“If we hadn’t,” Ian says, “they would have come for her, and she would have been terminated.”
“Banishment is the punishment,” I say. “Wait, why haven’t they found me?”
“You’re system is incredible,” Ian says. “We’ve never seen anything like it before; it’s beyond any known technology.”
“What does that mean,” I ask?
“You are one of a kind,” he says.
“What’s happening to the infected people,” I ask?
“They’re just disappearing,” he says. “The Federation is trying to cover it up. They are killing anyone who’s affected by the virus.”
“Emma,” Grace says. “It’s you.”
“I don’t understand,” I say.
“You are downloading the virus to everyone you come into contact with,” he says.
“Quinn,” I say. “I have to help him.”
“His system is protected by an advanced security system,” Ian says. “I haven’t heard of any officers being affected.”
“How do I stop it?”
“Why would you want too,” he asks? “For the first time people are being allowed to live like humans were intended to live.”
“They’re being killed because of me,” I say. “I have to stop it.”
“If enough people are heightened,” he says, “we’ll be able to take control of our own lives. All we need to do is find a way to crash the program, and take everyone off-line.”
“You’re talking about an uprising,” I ask? “Grace, what about Max? He’s on the side of the Federation.”
“I like him a lot, but this is bigger than me and him,” she says. “We’re talking about freedom.”
“If I hadn’t of come back for you,” Ian covers his eyes and looks down for a moment. And then he looks me in the eyes, “they were coming for you. They were going to turn you in and terminate you.”
“No, he wouldn’t do that,” I say.
“He is not the person you think he is,” he says. “He is loyal to the Federation. Why do you think he wiped you from his memories?”
I think about what he’s saying. I don’t want to believe him, but it makes too much sense. Quinn was going to kill me, and Ian saved me.
“I’m so sorry,” Grace says, “but you’re safe now.”
I can’t say anything. My heart feels like it is being ripped out of my chest. Maggie warned me; I didn’t want to believe her.
“Come with me,” he says, “I want to show you my world. I want you to see how it is supposed to be.”
We leave the building and head out into the streets of the Under. We are not alone. We have ten men with us, and they are all heavily armed. We travel in the open, on the road. It is not dark. The lights in the ceiling are bright; it is as close to daylight as an artificial system could mimic.
There are people on the street. They look at us as we walk by, but they do not cower or hide. We come to an open area; there are people everywhere. Some are behind makeshift tables and stands. They are selling items. Others are walking about, talking and socializing.
“What is this palace?”
“It’s the market,” he says. “It is the center of our city.”
“Is this what you wanted to show me?”
“No,” he takes my hand. “It’s this way.”
We walk through the market. There are people of every size, color, and age. I look at everything; I can’t get enough. Everything is colorful and loud, but it is the smells of a mixture of savory foods cooking, blending in a medley of delicious aromas.
We stop in front of a gate. The iron bars are closed, but there is a man standing on the other side. I can see a stone building behind him.
“Ian,” the man raises an eyebrow at him, “Who is this?”
“She’s a friend,” he says.
“Okay,” he opens the gate.
He looks at me; my cane makes a thudding sound as it lands on the stone path. I stop in front of him. I can’t take my eyes off of him. He is old, with white hair and a sagging face.
He smiles at me. I reach out and touch his face. His skin is rough but warm.
“Does it hurt?”
He laughs, “Is she broken?”
Ian nods.
“Welcome to the Under,” he says.
“Thank you,” I say.
“Come on,” Ian takes my hand. “I have a lot to show you.”
We enter the building. We are in a grand hall. The floors are
marble, and they lead up to a magnificent staircase. It wraps around the entire entry and is made out of a dark wood.
There is a woman sitting at a desk. She is old too. She has a strange device on her face, covering her eyes. I tilt my head and stare at her.
“She’s new,” she smiles. “You’ve never seen an old lady before, have you?”
I shake my head, “What is that?” I point to the object on her face.
“These?” she takes it off for a quick second and then places it back on her face. “They’re my glasses. I’m blind as a bat without them.”
“You can’t see?” I look to Ian. “How is that possible; you have eyes?”
“We can’t fix ourselves,” Ian says, “we’re not online, and most of us don’t have any upgrades.”
“I know, I’ve seen aged people,” I say, “just not so old. How old are you?”
“Sweetie it’s not nice to ask a lady how old she is,” she smiles, “but since you’re new; I’ll tell you. I’m 74 years old.”
“Humans live that long, without upgrades?” I can’t believe what she said. “I’ve never met anyone that old. Up top, we’re deprogrammed at sixty and retire in Thirteen.”
“Deprogrammed…phsst,” she snarls, “what’s that supposed to mean? Have you ever thought about it?”
“No,” I say.
“It means they kill you,” she says, “or they banish you.”
“No, you go and live out your days,” I say.
“Have you ever been there?” Ian asks.
“Well, no,” I think about it for a moment. “My grandparents are there.”
“And every birthday or holiday,” he says, “let me guess, you get messages and gifts.”
“Yeah,” I say.
“Showing how wonderful it is in Thirteen,” he says.
“Did they look like these?” she hands me a tablet.
I look at the pictures; some I don’t recognize, but others are identical to pictures my family received.
“Are they familiar?” she asks.
“Some,” I say, “but why?”
“The Federation is relatively small, and resources are limited,” she says. “We are spread out across the continent, but we only inhabit about thirty percent of the land mass. The rest are wastelands.”
