“Why were you scared, Sebastian?”
“Because now all I have left is Roo and Sam,” he replied sadly.
“Ooo, you’re not supposed to call her that.” Atreyu whispered.
Not understanding what Atreyu was talking about, “What do you mean that’s all you had left?” I asked, confused.
Thinking back over the bits and pieces she revealed, she never did mention if there was anyone else, any other family members or a boyfriend. A surge of anger shot through me at the thought of her having a boyfriend. It shook me a bit. Shaking my head, I focused on Sebastian.
“No one likes me,” he said sadly. “Everyone says I’m stupid or weird or what was that other word?” He turned asking Atreyu.
“Retarded, but you’re not.” Atreyu says sternly.
“Yeah, that one,” he says, dropping his gaze to his hands.
“Do you know what those words mean?”
“Yeah, Sam explained them to us. She says that I’m not any of them and not to listen to them.”
Messing up his hair, “She’s right, you know. When someone puts you down like that, it’s more of a reflection on them than you.”
“Huh?” They say in unison.
“It makes them look bad not you. Sebastian you are a brilliant kid. I really enjoy spending time with you guys. Never let another person tell you that you're less than them. No matter what, the only opinion that matters at the end of the day is how you view yourself, okay?”
“Thank you, Dr. Jack,” they say together.
“Just call me Jack okay?”
“We can?” Atreyu asks in awe.
“Of course. We’re friends, right?”
“Yes!” They exclaim in unison.
“Well friends call each other by their names or nicknames,” I explain to them.
“You can call me Roo or Booga then. They are the names sissy calls me.” Atreyu says.
“I don’t have another name,” Sebastian says sadly.
Looking at him breaks my heart. This little boy is already going through so much and he’s barely even lived. Honestly, I can’t imagine how someone could be so mean to this little boy. He was brilliant. A kid I’d be proud to call my own or part of my family.
“Can I give you a nickname? Would that be okay by you?”
His face brightened. “Yes! What are you going to call me?”
Putting my finger to my chin, “Let me think a second. Roo, do you have any ideas?”
Atreyu’s face brightened. “You want me to help,” he asks, shocked.
“Well of course. You’re my friend right?” He nods his head. “And you’re Sebastian’s friend, correct?” He gives me the ‘well duh’ look. “Well then this is something we should work on together, don’t you think?”
He nods excitedly, then copies my pose. “Well, he loves ships, drawing, playing games. Hmm.” Atreyu trails off.
“What about, Captain?” I say looking between both of them.
Atreyu jumped up and down excitedly saying yes. Sebastian jumped in my lap and hugged me. Roo jumped in my lap just seconds later and hugged me too. Captain pulls back and looks at me with sad eyes.
“Thank you for not treating me different.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.
Chapter Four
Shannon
“What about, Captain?” Jack asks as he looks between Atreyu and Sebastian.
The boys got super excited about this and jumped into his lap giving him a hug. Jack graciously accepted them. Wow, you mean there is someone out there that doesn’t look at Sebastian and run. Funny, I can’t even find doctors—whom I pay—to do that for him. Many have turned us away the minute they just look at Sebastian. Barely anyone takes the time to get to know him. My heart thawed a little.
“Thank you for not treating me different.”
“What do you mean?” Jack sounded confused. Hell, I was confused.
“Everyone always babies me. I’m the same age as Roo and he is treated older than me. I want to be older too.”
My breath caught in my throat. Oh my God. This boy sees everything. It took a major effort to not cry right there. Sebastian really has been through a lot and will continue to do so because sadly people don’t accept ‘different’.
“Well, Captain, you are not a baby. So I won’t treat you that way, but what you did today was not a grown up thing to do. Running out in the road in front of cars… You could have been seriously hurt. Promise me you’ll never do that again.” Jack stated firmly.
“What’s a promise?” They both ask.
“It’s when you tell someone you’ll do something they ask, but you never break it. When you make a promise to something you stick to it. So if you promise me you’ll never run out in the street again, then you can’t do it ever again. Okay?”
“Yes. I do promise, Jack. I promise I won’t let you down.”
“You didn’t let me down, Captain. You scared me. You scared your sister and even Roo. Right Roo?” Jack looked at Atreyu.
“Yes, a lot. You’re my best friend,” Atreyu says sadly.
My heart was breaking listening to this conversation. These boys were so much older than their years. Maybe that was my fault. Maybe I have not let them be kids enough for them to be their ages. Maybe I’m letting them down. The thought saddened me, deeply.
“What do you say we do something nice for your sister?” Jack asks happily.
“Yes!”
“Well, what’s something your sister wants done that you haven’t done yet?”
“Our play room,” they groan and I almost laugh.
“Oh come on. My two big boys aren’t going to be beaten by a dirty playroom, are you? You know how long it takes me to clean my playroom every day?”
“You clean that?” Sebastian asks shocked.
“Sure do. I clean it after everyone goes in there to play. That way it doesn’t take me as long. See if you picked up after yourself as you played, it wouldn’t take as long to clean. Let’s make a game out of this. What do you say?”
“Okay, okay, we can do that.” They jumped off his lap.
“Let’s think here, do you know how to tell time yet?”
“No, but we can count,” Atreyu answers proudly.
“See my watch,” they look at his watch as he holds it out. “When this little hand gets to this number, you’ll earn a prize if your playroom is cleaned. It’s a good one too. What do you say?”
“What is it?” Sebastian asked excitedly.
“Oh, I can’t tell you that, Captain. It’s a surprise. You’ll like it though.”
“Better than ice cream and the park?” Atreyu asks.
“Oh, I think so,” Jack says excitedly. “You ready? Set. Go!”
The boys run out of the room toward their playroom. Jack turns to me then and moves the washcloth from my head.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Thank you. It just scared me. The thought of losing him like that,” I shudder.
Sitting up on the couch, I’m suddenly aware of the way he’s looking at me. His blue eyes assessing me like he could see straight through me. Taking a deep breath, I swallow the last of my panic from the earlier incident.
“You don’t have to stay here. I’m fine now. Thank you for saving Sebastian. I’ll never be able to repay you for that.”
“I don’t want to be repaid. Those are good boys and I’ll admit I’m kind of attached to them.” He stares out the door for a moment before turning back to me. “Who’s Sam? Sebastian said that Roo and Sam are all he has left. Who’s Sam?”
My breath catches in my throat and I start choking. Tears well up in my eyes. Jack runs his hand up and down my back gently. It sends a warm tingling feeling through my whole body.
“It’s what my mother referred to me as,” I softly respond a moment later.
“Oh. I’m sorry,” he says sadly.
We sat there in silence for a minute or two. My thoughts running back over memori
es of my parents. No matter how much time has passed, I miss them more and more each day. The boys have grown so much and they are missing it all. Guilt hit me hard and practically winded me. They were missing all of this because of me. It was my fault the boys don’t have their mom and dad anymore.
He glanced at his watch. I realized then he was probably late for something. “You don’t have to stay here. You can go.”
“What? Oh no, I’m timing the boys to get their playroom clean.”
Laughing, “Don’t hold your breath on that. I’ll end up in there cleaning it after they go to bed. They spend more time fighting and playing than cleaning. Honestly, it’s easier for me to do it.”
Jackson turns and looks at me. The way he was looking at me had my pulse increasing. He blinks a few times and turns away from me. “I think they can do it. Just need a little incentive is all.”
We sat in silence for a little while. Neither of us would even look in each other’s direction. He checks his watch again. Placing his elbows on his knees, he taps his fingertips together. Looking at his perfect hands caused images to start flashing in my head almost in rapid secession. My body started to heat and tingle. Shaking my head, I needed to put distance between us. Just as I was about to say something to him to break the silence, his phone rings.
“Hey gorgeous,” he smiles as he answers the phone.
Mentally smacking myself in the head. Here I am thinking all these perverse thoughts about him and me when the guy has a girlfriend or wife. Looking at his left hand, no ring.
“No, sorry. … I’m sitting at Shannon’s hanging out with them. … No, she didn’t tell me. … This weekend? … Yeah, I’ll tell them. … Hahaha, well Jake needs to keep his mouth shut. … Okay, love you too. …”
Listening to him say he loved whoever was on the other end of the conversation sent a surge of jealousy through me. What the hell is wrong with me? Huffing, I stand up and storm into the kitchen to start cooking supper. What was I more upset about? I don’t know. Before my parents passed away, I wanted to search for these feelings but not now. Now, I just wanted them to go away. There was no way a life like that was meant for me. No one would want to be around me. He’s only here now because Sebastian is his patient and he’s curious about him.
“Hey,” Jack says from behind me.
I didn’t respond, just bent down looking at stuff on the bottom shelf of the pantry. My knees were half bent and one arm rested on my thighs as the other reached out to move things around. Hearing a groan behind me, startled me. Whirling around, I looked at him.
“Are you okay?” I asked, checking him over. Touching his face, tipping his head side to side, running my hands down his shoulders, then his arms, when he groaned again. Looking back up at his face, confused, “What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine,” he says, his voice deeper, more raspy.
“Well, don’t scare me like that. I know this house is old, but it was my mom and dad’s so I try to keep it the same as they left it.” Realizing I was holding his hand, I yanked my hand back and went back to searching for what to make for supper.
“What are your plans for the weekend?” He asked almost distractedly.
“This weekend? Why?”
“I want to take you guys out.”
Spinning around, I stared at him confused. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I like being around you guys,” he says softly.
“Your girlfriend doesn’t mind you spending so much time with me?”
Jackson looks at me confused. “My girlfriend?” Then it’s almost as if a light bulb goes on in his head. “That was my sister that was on the phone.” He says smirking at me.
“Your sister,” I repeat, almost not believing it.
“Yeah, I have five of them and nine brothers.”
My eyes widen, shocked. “Your parents had fifteen kids?”
He laughs and my face changes to one of awe. His laugh washed over me in waves of peace and pleasure.
“No. My parents had eleven kids. My oldest sister, Kayla, is married now gaining me a brother there. My brother, Carson, is engaged and just had a beautiful little girl with his fiancée. My sister, Mary, is dating a guy named Tobey. He damn near died for my sister. Mary and Kayla are both expecting. I can’t wait for more nieces or nephews to spoil. Then theirs Nate, though he’s not dating any member of the family, he’s still my brother. He helped save Kayla and fell in love with my sister Mary, but sadly Mary fell in love with Tobey. Then there are my blood siblings; Jake-my twin, Eli, Colt, Jeff, Nick, and twins Kylee and Mylee.”
“Damn, your parents were busy.” Blushing red at what I just said. “I mean with chasing eleven kids around.”
His laughter fills the room again, “Yeah, they were, but honestly, I don’t think they’d have it any other way. If you ask me they have been a little lost since we’ve all grown up and moved out on our own.”
Turning so he can’t see the tears in my eyes at the thought of my parents not being around. That was harder than having to raise the boys. To know what they were missing all because of me.
Jackson walked up behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders and turning me around. “I’m sorry. I know it must be so hard.” He says softly, looking down at me with sadness.
The first tear fell. Jackson pulled me into a hug and the damn broke. I just cried, releasing everything that built inside of me out. He held on to me, running his hand through my hair. Resting his cheek on the top of my head, he whispered to me to let it all out.
Pulling myself together after a moment, I stepped back from his warm, comforting embrace. “I’m sorry. Some days it just overwhelms me. Gah! Okay, I need to figure out supper.”
Turning around, I started searching for something to eat again. Jackson being there was so damn distracting and he shouldn’t be. He shouldn’t distract me from anything.
“So, about this weekend?” Jack says after a while.
“Are you sure about this,” I turn around from cutting up potatoes to ask. “Please don’t feel obligated to do this. We’re okay just being us.”
It wasn’t like it was a lie. We have been just us for a year now. I’m used to just having me and the boys. Do I hate my days? No. Are they exhausting? Yes, definitely. Honestly, I’m unsure of the last time I got a full night’s sleep even when my parents were alive because I was still there for the boys. My life hasn’t changed, only became more permanent.
Chapter Five
Jackson
“Are you sure about this,” stopping from chopping potatoes to turn and ask. “Please don’t feel obligated to do this. We’re okay just being us.” Sadness was both in her eyes and in her voice. It truly broke my heart.
“I want to do this. It’s a cookout at my sister’s ranch. They’ll have so much to do and animals to see. They can meet my family, so can you. I’d really love it if you’d come. It’s Friday. I could pick you up once I’m done at work.”
She sighs, “Okay. I’ll do this for them. They are really taken with you. Surprising honestly. But I will drive there. I need to have a way to leave because Sebastian doesn’t do well in groups of people.”
“Fair enough.”
Just then the boys run into the kitchen. “We’re done! Come on! Come check!”
“We did it really good.” Sebastian yells excitedly.
Laughing, I let them tug me down the hall to their playroom. When I walked in there, I noticed a small couch, a television, some boxes that assumed housed toys. There were also a couple gaming systems next to the television.
“Wow, you guys did an amazing job. I’m proud of you.”
“Holy crap! I’m in the wrong house.” Shannon says shocked.
“Sissy Shan Shan, you’re funny,” Sebastian says laughing.
“Yeah,” Atreyu is laughing too, “this is our playroom, in our house.”
Smiling at them, their laughter was infectious. Looking at Shannon and seeing the smile on her face made my heart sore. What the
hell was it with this woman?
“Well, Jack, did we do enough?”
Kneeling down, “Yeah buddy, you did way more than enough. You earned your secret prize. Do you guys want to know what it is?”
“Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” They scream excitedly.
Crooking my finger at them for them to come closer, I whisper, “You get to come hang out with me, a bunch of animals and meet my family. How’s that sound?”
Atreyu starts dancing around, pumping his little fists in the air, screaming “Woohoo!”
Sebastian stood there nervously looking at me. “Y-you mean a lot of people?”
“Well considering I have a lot of siblings, I guess you’d say a lot of people. But you don’t have to worry Captain. I’ll be with you every step of the way. We’re going to have a cookout. They’ll love you both I just know it.”
“Y-you’ll be there with me?” He asked nervously.
“Of course, Captain.”
He hugs me tightly and my heart breaks a little more for him. “Okay, I’ll go. Thank you Jack.”
My phone vibrated in my pocket. Standing up, I pulled my phone out and checked the text message.
Jake: Hey, hope you finally got laid. On my way to get you.
Me: That’s not why I came here and you know it!
Jake: Doesn’t mean you didn’t get laid.
Me: You’re an asshole.
Jake: Nope, definitely didn’t get laid. Where am I going?
Once I gave Jake the address, Sebastian pulled my attention. “Want to play a game with me? Please!” He begged.
“Sure, I’ll play a game.”
We sat there playing a game where everything was in the shape of a block, including animals. You built things and had achievements to achieve. Sebastian got seriously into this game. I have to admit it was a lot of fun. Before I knew it Jake was walking into the room.
“Hey man, that was fast. You didn’t wreck my car did you?”
“No, what are you playing?”
“Minecraft,” Atreyu says excitedly. “You want to play too?”
Pressing pause, they both get upset. “Hey, I want to introduce you to one of my brothers. This is my twin brother, Jacob. I bet if you ask him you can call him by his nickname too.”
Tough Love (Hidden Secrets) Page 4
