“You have a nickname too?” Jake nods. “I have one now too. Jack gave it to me.” Sebastian says shyly, gripping my arm.
Jake kneels down. “You know what? Jack is great at nicknames. He gave me mine.”
“He did?” Sebastian says amazed, letting go of my arm and climbing in my lap, closer to Jake.
“Yup. Everyone kept calling me Jacob. Then one day Jack says. ‘He so fast, he’s like a snake. Jake the snake.’ All our brothers and sisters called me Snake until we got older and most call me Jake now. I bet he gave you a cool name too.”
“Yeah,” he nods his head rapidly. “He calls me, Captain because I love ships. I’ve never had a nickname before.” He smiles brightly at me.
“My nickname is Roo, but my sister gave me that.”
“I like that nickname. Very cool,” Jake says.
Atreyu pulls Jake to sit down and gave him a controller. We all sat there playing. Sebastian was in my lap and Atreyu was in Jake’s. Sad as it was to say, it was one of the best moments I’ve had in a long time.
“Boys, it’s time to eat.” Shannon called from the doorway. “Wow,” she breathed.
I turned and saw her with tears in her eyes, looking at us. Lifting Sebastian off my lap, I sat him on the couch. He crawled over on Jake’s lap, which caused me to smile. Turning my attention back to Shannon, “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“They… You…,” shaking her head. “They’re happy,” she breathed. Looking up at me, “You made them happy.”
Clearing my throat, “You made them happy, we just gave them friendship. I offer the same to you, you know?”
“You have done more than enough,” Swallowing hard. “Can I come in on Friday and we talk more options for Sebastian.” She says her eyes focused on Sebastian, tears falling down.
I couldn’t stop myself from pulling her into a hug. “Of course. Come in at four, we’ll leave at five.”
She surprised me when she wrapped her arms around my waist. Then I surprised myself when I kissed the top of her head and breathed in the smell of her hair. Damn, if she didn’t smell good and feel even better in my arms. My arms tightened around her and I sighed. Lost in the moment for a second. Then reality hit me like a ton of bricks as images from four years ago danced in my head.
Pulling back and putting on a smile, “Things will get easier, but you’ve got to give yourself time to mourn. It’ll eat at you if you don’t.”
I turn to the guys. “Okay guys. Game time over. Jake and I need to go and Captain and Roo need to eat. Remember be good for your sister so you can get both your prizes, okay?”
The boys hug us and we walk out the door. Neither of us really said anything to each other until we were headed down the road.
“Those kids are amazing.” Jake said quietly. “Sebastian asked me if I liked him. He said because no one likes him, but you, his brother and his sister. That hit home.”
“Yeah I know man. I’ve invited them to Mary’s on Friday.”
“What’s the deal with you guys? You like her?”
Silence is both a good thing and a bad thing. At this particular moment, it was a bad thing. Jake saw it as a sign that I was infatuated with Shannon. I wasn’t. I couldn’t be. Sometimes, I hated my brother coming into town.
“Are you staying at my house?” I bit out.
“If I’m still welcomed,” he says with a smirk.
Pulling into the parking garage for the building of my condo, we climbed out and walked to the elevator. My mind kept going over everything that Jake had said. Was I looking at Shannon longingly? Did I overreact when it came to her or the boys?
The elevator ride to the top floor left far too much time for me to think. By the time we arrived, I was tense and needed something to break the confusion and heartache that was settling deep within me.
“I’m going to take a shower. You can have your usual room.” I threw over my shoulder.
Just as I was about to make it to my bedroom, my buzzer went off. Turning around grumbling under my breath, I made my way back to my door. When I saw Nate on the screen, my problems vanished. Nate took over my concern.
“Jake, get out here man!” I yelled as I pressed the buzzer to let him in.
“What? What’s up?”
“Nate’s on his way up and he doesn’t look good,” I said sadly.
“Shit,” Jake mumbled, shaking his head.
Nate was like a brother to us all. He came into our life as a partner trying to save Kayla, but has stuck as part of the family since. During the time he had helped Jason, Nate fell in love with Mary. Happily Ever After as far as we were all concerned. We wanted our out of control sister to settle down. There was no better man than Nate to us. But then Mary met Tobey. Nate tried to win Mary over. In the end, Mary’s heart belonged to Tobey. Tobey’s a good guy and he is great to my sister, but Nate isn’t handling it well.
Just then the elevator pinged, the door opening and Nate fell out. I mean he literally fell out of the doors and onto the floor. Honestly, I was shocked that he even made it into the elevator.
“Nate how’d you get here?” I ask.
“Drivshed,” he slurred.
Jake and I exchanged looks, then pulled Nate into the living room dropping him on the couch. Nate slumped to the side laughing. His normal alert blue eyes were cloudy. His smiling baby face as we always said he had was pale and I can’t remember the last time I saw him smile. Nate’s hair has grown out as well as his facial hair. To sum it up he looks rough.
“Nate, you’re a detective. What the hell are you doing driving drunk?” I hissed.
He drunkenly points his finger at me, “You, you letsh hersh leavsh me.”
“I didn’t let her do anything, Nate. I don’t control her.”
“You allsh helpsh him winsh hersh back,” he slurred.
Sitting next to him, I placed my hand on his shoulder. “Nate, she’s happy with Tobey. Don’t you want her happy?”
He nods awkwardly, “With me.” He attempts to point a finger at his chest.
“But she loves Tobey. She’s happy with Tobey. I want my sister happy,” I say softly.
“What aboutsh me? Why can’tsh I besh happy toosh?” He asks sadly.
“Because brother, you want something that you can’t have.”
His head drops and I see tears falling on his arm. He’s breaking down. If it were me, I wouldn’t want someone witnessing me at a point I wouldn’t like to enter. So I stood up and grabbed his arm over my shoulder. Jake grabs the other in the same fashion.
“Come on, big boy. Time to sleep it off buddy.” Jake says as we walk him to the other spare room.
“I lovesh hersh so mush.” He sobbed.
“I know buddy. I know.” I whispered.
After getting him settled, Jake and I walked out in a solemn mood. Nate really did love my sister, but sadly she just doesn’t feel the same. Mary has said time and time again that she loves Nate like a brother, but nothing more.
When he first found out that we had all gotten together to help Tobey win her back, he didn’t talk to us for weeks. We were worried because he even quit talking to Jason. Then he just showed back up on my doorstep, much like he did today. I don’t turn him away either. He really is hurting. I’ll be here to help him every step of the way. He’s my brother, no matter what else happens. All of us feel that way.
“He’s getting worse, Jack. We need to do something.”
Sighing, I ran my hand through my hair. “I know. I’m doing what I can right now. I’m just here for him when he needs it. You can’t help someone that isn’t ready to be helped. When he is, I’ll be there for him every step of the way.”
“Yeah, I agree. I’ll be there too. I think we all will.” Jake said, staring at the door to the room Nate was in.
“No doubt. I’m going to go get that shower now and probably hit the sack. See ya in the morning. Good to have you back home.” I hugged my brother and headed into my room.
My heart was heavy, n
ot just for myself, but for Nate, Shannon and the boys. No one should have to hurt the way they hurt on a daily basis. They deserve happiness and smiles, especially the boys.
As I climb into bed after my shower, my thoughts were only of what could have been but weren’t and of what could be but can’t. Jake wasn’t far off with his assessment. I think I do like Shannon, but I will never act on it. She will never be more to me than just a friend. I’ve learned my lesson. Never again.
Chapter Six
Shannon
Flopping down on the couch, I was completely exhausted. It was nearly midnight. The boys had a busy and exciting day. They seemed so excited, which was new for them. Frowning, most days they hated everything. Normally I’d fight them tooth and nail just to get them to clean their room, but not today. Jack changed that for us, for me. Tonight they went right to bed. I was able to get all the housework done and sit here by midnight. Normally it was well after three in the morning before any of that was done. Enjoying some peace and quiet was new for me.
Sighing, I’m going to get some sleep tonight. Just as I got up my phone rang. Tears sprung to my eyes as I saw the number show up on my screen. Why tonight! I wanted to throw my cell phone across the room and let it shatter into a million pieces.
“How you doing Sam?”
“Who is this?” I ask terrified.
“It’s your mother, baby. You don’t recognize your own mother’s voice.”
“No, it’s not. Leave me alone!”
I hung up the phone and ran to the bathroom. It was the same thing every night. Same call. Same voice. Same conversation. Why can’t they leave me alone! I just want to be left alone. It’s hard enough facing my brothers day in and day out knowing it was my fault my mom and dad were not there to raise them, but to have this sick person playing a prank on me. It ended with me puking my guts out in the toilet.
“Sam, look at them. Look at these beautiful little boys. Aren’t they just so precious?”
“Yes, ma'am. They are so adorable. They look so much alike.”
“They are going to grow up to be amazing men.” My father said proudly.
“If they’re anything like their father, they’ll be more than amazing,” I beamed up at my father.
He hugged me tightly. “You are definitely my daddy’s girl. And I couldn’t ask for a better one,” he kisses my forehead.
“So what are you going to name them?” I ask excitedly.
My parents look at each other and smile. “We were thinking since you were so much help during the pregnancy and with your father, that we’d let you pick the names. Within reason, of course.”
Staring at them both in shock, “Really?”
“Yes. You were so great with mom and when I’d freak out. Please help pick their names.”
Looking down at my brothers, I ran my hand softly over their heads and a finger down each of their cheeks. They looked so tiny, but I knew a warrior was deep within them. You could hear it in their screams and see it in their eyes when they were open. Then an idea occurs to me.
“How about Sebastian and Atreyu?”
They looked at each other and smiled. “From the Neverending Story?”
“Yes. It was the first movie you bought me and my favorite. We’d watch it all the time together. They may be small now, but I think they are going to change the world one day.”
“They are perfect,” my mom stared at them for a moment and her and dad reached for one twin and said in unison, “Sebastian.”
“I’m going to be the best big sister. I promise, I’ll help you with them.” I whispered as I kissed their heads.
“Of that I have no doubt sugar. You have always been such a great daughter.” My father said then shooed me to go home and get some sleep.
Crying now, I pulled myself up off the floor and out to my bedroom. Curling up in a tight ball on the bed, I cried harder. They had so much faith in me. They valued me so much and in the end, I hated them for what I promised to do. I hated them. How great of a daughter was I? All they wanted was some time alone to be just husband and wife and I had to complain about that. Mom was right, I really am selfish.
Sleep never came for me. Instead, I’m dragging around the house to get breakfast for the boys. Everything was making me cry. The boys were tiptoeing around me and it made me so upset. I was just beyond exhausted.
“Hey guys,” I called later that evening. “Why don’t you guys play some X-box for a little bit? Is your room cleaned?”
“Yes! We kept it clean.” Sebastian said as he ran into the playroom to play the X-box.
My phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Ms. Mitchell?”
“Yes. Can I ask who’s calling?”
“This is Mark Lotus from the-”
“Yes, I know who you are. I’ve already talked to Daniel. He was giving me some extra time to get the money.”
“Yes, ma’am. The time is coming up due and we want to know what advances you have made to rectify the problem.”
“I have been working on things since we talked.”
“So improvements have been made?”
“Well…”
“Ms. Mitchell, I’m aware of your history and I’m truly sorry for that. But if you can’t get your house up to code or at least show that you are trying, you’ll have to vacate the premises.”
“Yeah, I know,” I replied sadly.
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, everyone’s sorry.”
I hung up the phone and dropped my head to my hands and cried. I’m running low. Honestly, I’m about to break. There’s no way I can do this anymore. Not the way I’ve been running. The sound of my doorbell broke me from my misery. Wiping my hand over my face, I got up and answered the door.
“Jack? Wh-what are you doing here,” I say frantically wiping my face.
Jack cupped my face in his hands, “What’s wrong?”
Yanking my head away from his touch, “Nothing. What are you doing here?” I say walking back into the living room.
When I sat on the couch, I was surprised to find Jack sitting on the coffee table in front of me. “Are you okay? We’re friends, you can tell me.”
Looking at the concern in his eyes, about broke me. Then he reaches up with one hand and tenderly touches my face and it completely broke me. The dam burst and he pulled me into his arms.
“I’m so tired. Everything is going wrong. They won’t quit calling. I’m going to lose everything,” I sobbed.
“I’m going to take the boys for some ice cream and go to the park. I promised them for helping me yesterday. You are going to go lay down and get some rest. We’ll address the rest when you get some sleep.”
Now that the tears have started, I can’t break them off. He held me close to him, didn’t even seem rushed for me to stop. His hand rubbing up and down my back sent a tingling sensation through my body, causing me to cuddle deeper into his embrace. Jack didn’t seem to mind, tightening his hold on me. Slowly I felt myself relax, then I fell asleep.
Chapter Seven
Jackson
When she opened the door and I saw her, something snapped inside me and I worried something happened to the boys or her. When she broke down right in front of me, I didn’t hesitate to pull her into my arms. However, what took me by surprise was the overwhelming urge I had to kiss her. To lift her head from my chest and taste each delectable inch of her mouth with my tongue and my lips. To pull that lip of hers between my teeth and suck on it before claiming her mouth once more.
Damn it! What was this woman doing to me!
Shannon’s tears slowly stopped and I felt her small shudders left as a reminder of how far she has pushed herself for the boys, for her parents. She tried way too hard to prove herself to everyone, even to her parents who were no longer here. If she would just give herself a moment to see her how everyone sees her, how I see her, then she’d see that she doesn’t have to try so hard.
Just as I was about to shift h
er to the couch, Atreyu ran into the living room. Quickly I put my finger to my lips, shushing him.
“Your sister fell asleep. Where’s her room?”
Atreyu tiptoed through the house until he brought me to a room at the end of the hall. When we walked in, it was almost the size of a closet. There was a double bed in the corner of the room, a dresser and a night stand. Honestly, that was almost pushing the limits of the room.
“Go wait for me in your playroom. I’ll be there in a minute, but keep quiet, okay?” I whispered.
Atreyu nodded and ran off. Walking into the room, I felt like if I took a deep breath I’d hit either side of the room. Shaking my head, I carried her to her bed. Carefully, I pulled back the covers, laid her in the center of her bed, then covered her up. Leaning down, I pressed a tender kiss to her forehead then her nose.
“Get some sleep beautiful. We’ll figure it all out.” I whispered as I ran a finger down her cheek.
Leaving the room, I looked back at her sleeping peacefully on her bed before closing the door and heading to the playroom. The boys were talking and bouncing on the couch. I had to laugh at their conversation.
“I think we might have a brother.” Atreyu says excitedly.
“Why? Who?” Sebastian asks, bouncing.
“Jack. I think he really likes Sissy Shan Shan. He hugged her.”
“Ooohhhhh, yeah,” Sebastian beamed.
Damn, they were reading into this too far. Instead of getting into a long talk about hugging someone doesn’t mean what they think it means, I decided to change subjects all together. Walking into the room clapping my hands, I smiled big.
“Whose ready for the park?”
“ME!” They squeal.
“Okay, I need some paper to leave your sister a note just in case she forgets that I’m taking you out. We don’t want her panicking when she wakes up, right?”
Sebastian takes my hand and yanks me out of the room into another room that is a decent size. I found myself wondering why she doesn’t use this room as a bedroom. As Sebastian pulls me over to a desk, I notice there is another door to this room.
Tough Love (Hidden Secrets) Page 5
