by Norah Wilson
Maryanne’s head shot up and her eyes locked with Brooke’s. They both felt it. Everything started shaking as though the room itself trembled with fear. The table shook and the flames of the candles danced like they were trying to break free of their wicks. The old rocking chair in the corner began rocking, briskly and rhythmically, back and forth, back and forth. The feet of the old dresser tapped on the floor.
“What’s happening?”
Maryanne looked frantically around—searching every corner, every shadow. “Jason! J-bug, no!”
“Who the hell is Jason?”
Maryanne didn’t answer her. She couldn’t answer her. All she could do was plead, “Jason! Please don’t do this now! Don’t hurt my friends! It’s me you want. They don’t deserve this…” She buried her face in her hands while the room shook. “I deserve this…hell on earth! Not them.”
“Oh, Alex!” Brooke cried, turning once more toward the window. “Dear God, what have we done?”
Chapter 20
Gone
Brooke
Brooke was freaking out.
The attic was shaking so much that dust was raining down from the rafters and the candles were flickering wildly. Even the furniture was rattling. On the other side of the attic, Maryanne whimpered and pleaded with ‘Jason’ to leave her be. Brooke wanted to scream at everything to stop.
Alex was gone. There was nothing on the other side of that grubby window pane but a few cold stars in the winter night. Alex was completely, freaking gone.
“Please, Jason, not now!” Maryanne shouted.
“I told you, keep your voice down!” Brooke rasped. She raked her long hair back and dug her fingers into her scalp. She had to think! Maybe if she cast out herself, then came back in and just sort of leaned through the window, maybe she could see where Alex had gone.
Dread turned her stomach to lead, but she ignored it. Her casting sister was lost. Sucked right out that damned window. If Brooke had been faster, she might have caught Alex’s foot and reeled her back in. She’d totally fumbled it. Alex’s movements had been so slow and controlled at first, Brooke hadn’t been prepared for that sudden plunge.
Yet if Brook went after Alex, and if she took that plunge herself, Maryanne was in no shape to be grabbing onto her…
But, dammit, she owed Alex.
Screw it. She’d do it. It beat standing here listening to Maryanne.
Just as she started to turn, she caught a glimpse of movement. She clapped her eyes back on the window in time to see a black caster elbow poke through the glass. This time, she didn’t fumble. She grabbed that elbow and tugged. And holy shit, Alex came roaring back into the room!
No, not roaring. Shrieking! Oh God, primally screaming! But it was Alex. Definitely Alex. Her face was perfectly delineated in grey lines. Lines of fear…of near madness!
Brooke had screamed that caster’s scream herself once, when she’d needed to escape Seth’s grip. And a second time when she’d been trapped under an iron poker in Seth’s bedroom. Her friends, her caster sisters had come to her rescue that time, joining their voices in an auditory attack that had managed to win her freedom. But never had she been on the receiving end of that primal scream when she was in non-caster form. Even knowing what it was, it was terrifying. Foghorn deep, wall-shaking, mind-rending, it rattled Brooke to the very bone.
Still, she didn’t hesitate. The sound needed to be stopped, or the whole house would be plunged into panic. She pulled Alex’s cast to her chest and smothered her face in what Alex had so recently called her ‘assets’. It had the desired effect of muting the sound, but now the scream tore directly at Brooke’s psyche. It was like having your mind shredded by tooth and claw. Pummeled. Pulverized. Still she held Alex tight, absorbing the horror. And not just to muffle the sound. It felt like if she let go, Alex’s sanity would escape her. She couldn’t let that happen.
“It’s okay,” she managed to say. “It’s okay, Alex. You’re okay. You’re back. You’re safe.” She just kept repeating those things until the shrieking abruptly stopped.
So did the rattling and shaking of the attic, thank God. With any luck, everyone downstairs would think there’d been an earthquake. Maybe the primal scream would have blended into the general chaos.
“Brooke, let her go! She needs to go out the wall and back in the window!”
Brooke turned to see a frantic Maryanne kneeling over Alex’s body, which jittered and convulsed terrifyingly.
“Maryanne’s right.” Brooke released Alex’s cast form. “Can you make it out and back in yourself or do you want me to go out with you?”
Alex answered with a shake of her head. Moving slowly but purposefully, she crossed the attic and exited the wall. Brooke’s stomach lurched at the sight. She knew Alex was right there, hovering outside the house, but after having seen her disappear into nothingness, she held her breath.
Seconds later, Alex blasted back in through the stained glass window, reuniting with her original with such force, she slid a good six feet across the floor even with Maryanne trying to anchor her.
Oh, thank God!
Brooke sank to the floor. She was shaking, wiping away tears. She’d saved Alex. That caster scream had torn right into her soul, but she’d hung onto her friend somehow. She’d saved her sister. No matter the cost to her.
Slowly, on trembling legs, Brooke stood.
Chapter 21
What the Hell Was That?
Maryanne
Maryanne scrambled to her knees and helped a trembling Alex to sit up in the quiet room.
“Let me see your eyes.” Maryanne wasn’t quite sure why that was important, but as she spoke those words, she knew that it was. She had to look into those blue-grey eyes.
Jason’s eyes had been blue-grey.
She shook the thought away. Or rather tried to. It was damned hard to put her baby brother out of her mind. He haunted her almost constantly now. Lord help her, the way he’d shaken the furniture just now! Screeching her name like that, driving her to—
“Holy shit!” Brooke gasped as she looked into Alex’s eyes. “They’re black as ink! The whole freaking eye!”
Maryanne could see it too; Alex’s eyes were almost completely black, and not just the iris. The whites of her eyes, which usually gleamed grey in the dim candlelight, were nearly all black. Only the smallest rim of grey showed around the edges, but at least it was a growing rim.
Alex gripped Maryanne’s arm, new panic flaring on her face.
“It’s okay,” Maryanne soothed, tipping Alex’s chin up for a better look. “They’re already starting to normalize.”
“Barely,” Brooke said.
Maryanne shot her a so-not-helping look, then turned her attention back to Alex. Only to find Alex’s attention focused somewhere out in the distance as she sat there on the attic floor, her knees pressed to her chest, her arms hugging them tightly. It was like she couldn’t get small enough, or far enough away.
“What happened?” Maryanne asked gently. She laid a hand on Alex’s shoulder, and was encouraged when she didn’t push it off.
“I need…” Alex drew in a short, shallow breath, then another and another until she was gasping. “Can’t…get…”
Crap. Panic attack. “Deep breaths, Alex,” she said. “Slow it down. Take a big breath and hold it a bit. Good, good. Now another.” She took one of Alex’s hands. “Watch me, okay? Breathe with me. Deep breath, now. Fill your belly first, then the top of your lungs.”
Alex followed her instructions.
“Good, Alex. Atta girl.”
“Hey, while you’re doing this, I’m going to stick my head out there,” Brooke indicated the door with a nod of her head. “I imagine that racket woke the household.”
“Sorry. The scream…couldn’t stop it.” The words came out between her panting breaths.
“Not a problem.” Brooke made a dismissive gesture. “It blended in fairly well with the rattling and shaking, I think.”
A
lex looked from one to the other. “Rattling and shaking?”
“The whole freakin’ attic was quaking like crazy.” Brooke held out her arm. “Look at the dust on me. That shook out of the rafters. It’s all over you, too.”
Alex frowned, looking down at herself. “I sort of remember, but vaguely. I was a little busy having a freakin’ heart attack at the time. I lost connection.” She looked from one to the other again. “When I went out there, I lost all awareness of the me that was in here. The original. And the me that was in here lost the me that was out there in that black emptiness.” She put a hand to her forehead. “Oh, God, I feel sick.”
Whoops. Maybe Maryanne shouldn’t have let Alex sit up so quickly. “Come on, lie down again,” Maryanne urged. “If you lie on your side, there’ll be no risk of—”
Alex waved her away. “It’s okay. I’m not gonna puke or anything. Really.”
“Well that’s a relief,” Brooke said.
Alex snorted a laugh, which was a good sign.
“So…this shaking…are we thinking I caused it?” Alex turned her black eyes on Brooke. “With my passage through the window?”
Brooke shrugged. “What else could it be?”
Maryanne’s mouth went dry. It hadn’t been Alex’s misadventure that had caused the rattling and shaking. Jason had done it as he called her name. She was sure of it. “Hey, Brooke, that’s a good idea you had to go down there to check on things.”
“Right. Back in a flash.”
After Brooke left, Alex looked at Maryanne. “So the house shook pretty bad, I take it?”
“Yeah, but it’s kind of a blessing. Brooke muffled your scream pretty good. If anyone heard it, they’d probably just think it was someone freaking out after waking up to those tremors. But can we concentrate on your breathing while we’re waiting for Brooke? Your respirations are still way too fast.”
“Right.”
By the time Brooke returned, Alex’s breathing was normal again. Okay, normal-ish. She wasn’t hyperventilating anymore.
“Everyone’s milling around down in the parlor,” Brooke announced. “I told them I thought it was an earthquake and that we should see if we could get Betts to dispense medicinal brandy to calm our nerves.”
Alex gave a bark of laughter, then another, but it quickly turned to a sob.
“I’ll have to go back down before too long, in case anyone notices we’re not represented,” Brooke said, “but I wanted to make sure you were okay first, Alex.”
“I’m still a little shaky, but I’ll be okay.” Alex dashed away the tears that had finally broken free. “Note to self: Don’t ever do that again.”
“Yeah, and duly noted by the rest of us.” Brooke’s words were gruff but somehow incredibly gentle. Well, for Brooke. “Okay, Robbins, what the hell happened? One minute you were easing through that window, all smooth and controlled, and then you just freakin’ shot through it.”
“I was pulled through it,” Alex said.
Pulled? Maryanne’s skin tightened from head to toe. What had pulled her through? What force was out there? Jason? Could it be… Oh no!
“Yikes! Pulled through?” Brooke blinked. “How?”
“It was some kind of force.” Alex twisted her hands together. “I can’t explain it other than that. It was strong and it was heavy and dark and it was the most evil thing I’ve ever felt.” The tears which Alex had just managed to stem started up again, and Maryanne just knew she was thinking of the rape. Alex’s next words confirmed it. “And let me tell you…I know evil. I’ve felt it.” One hand stroked the other now in a self-comforting gesture. “Once I was halfway out through the glass, it just…took over. Just pulled me through to the other side. To the complete darkness. God, guys, it’s a blackness so dark, so profoundly heavy that…”
“What?” Brooke asked. “So dark and heavy that what?”
“That I damn near gave in to it. Joined it. Gave up. Gave in to it because it was just that damned heavy and I didn’t know if I was strong enough to fight it.” Alex’s eyes narrowed and her hands fisted atop her knees. “It would have been that easy, and—”
“That final.” Maryanne hadn’t meant to say that out loud. She certainly hadn’t meant to say it so wistfully. But gone finally. Gone forever. Body alive and left behind in the world, through struggling, but the cast—the consciousness, the pain!—gone. Her thoughts drifted a little too far, and when she caught herself and looked back to Alex, her friend was staring at her. Hard.
“But you did it, Alex,” Brooke said. “You fought it. You came back to us.”
Alex turned to Brooke. “I fought, yeah. And it took every damn bit of strength I had to flail around against it. Thank you, Brooke,” she said. “Thank you for grabbing my elbow and pulling me back.”
Brooke shrugged as if it were nothing, but they all knew better.
“You didn’t know,” Alex said, dashing away tears again. “You couldn’t know what might happen when you grabbed hold of me. For all you knew, you could have been sucked right out through the window into nothingness. Or maybe because you were in your normal, fused form, you might have been dragged through, breaking the glass and dropped the three stories to the ground.”
Brooke had thought of all that. Maryanne knew darn well she had from the look on her face. And now Brooke Saunders had another look on her face, a surprising one, as though she were actually letting her guard down. “You’re my friend,” she said. “A sister. You both are. We’re family in this casting. You’d do the same for me. I know you would.”
“Damn right,” Alex said.
Brooke looked at Maryanne, and her expression was half expectant, half hopeful. Which was quite something for screw-them-before-they-screw-you Brooke. Swallowing a lump of emotion, Maryanne nodded. “You’re right. We’d all do the same for each other. Anytime.”
Alex slouched as she sat there now. Maryanne checked her eyes—they were definitely returning to normal—but slower than with a single cast. Much slower. Hopefully, they’d pass inspection by morning.
“We need to talk about this some more,” Brooke said, “But first we need to smuggle you back to the bedroom before the excitement dies down and people start heading back to bed.”
“Brooke’s right,” Maryanne agreed, getting to her feet. “Can’t have anyone getting a look at those peepers tonight.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Wait’ll you see them for yourself.”
They helped Alex to her feet. Each of them ducked under one of Alex’s arms to support her. At the top of the stairs, they paused while Brooke scooted back and blew out the candles. When Brooke took her place at Alex’s left side again, the girls started down the stairs slowly. At the bottom, Brooke poked her head into the hall to check for traffic.
“All clear.”
When they were safely back in their bedroom, the first thing Brooke did was hand Alex a mirror so she could see her eyes.
“Holy shit!” Alex’s hand shook as she regarded her reflection in the heavy, silver-framed mirror. “I look like a freakin’ demon with these black eyes!”
“Believe it or not, that’s a lot better than it was,” Maryanne said.
Alex shuddered.
“I’d better go down and make myself seen again,” Brooke said. “If anyone asks about you guys, I’ll tell them you were both cool as cucumbers. Just rolled over and went back to sleep after the quake was over.”
“Thanks, Brooke,” Alex said. “Again.”
“No problem. I’ll only be a few minutes. And hey, hold off on talking about this until I get back, ’kay?”
“Sure,” Alex said.
“I mean it.” Brooke pinned Alex with her gaze, then Maryanne. “Seriously, guys. I don’t want to miss anything.”
“No problem,” Maryanne agreed.
With that, Brooke was gone.
Maryanne turned to face Alex, who was sitting on her bed now. She still held the mirror loosely in her right hand, but she wasn’t looking a
t her reflection anymore. She was looking at Maryanne. And from the expression on her face, Maryanne had a sinking feeling that there was going to be some discussion in Brooke’s absence after all.
Chapter 22
Big Things
Alex
Alex wanted to close her eyes. They felt heavy. Beyond tired. Draining and drained somehow.
Yet from that last look in the mirror Brooke had handed her, she knew her eyes were still freakily wide. Halloween-wide—like she’d bought a pair of those creepy contacts and they’d gotten stuck in there. But no matter how much she wanted to close her eyes, she didn’t. She stared across the room at Maryanne sitting so still on the edge of her bed.
Maryanne had turned off all the bedside lamps except Brooke’s, which was on its dimmest setting, and Alex appreciated her consideration. Bright light was murder on caster-wide pupils. She knew the low lighting wasn’t all for her sake, though. As she studied Maryanne, Alex suspected there was quite another reason Maryanne didn’t want the lights turned up. The same reason Maryanne kept averting her gaze.
“Brooke’ll be back in a minute,” Alex said.
Maryanne nodded, but Alex knew her words barely registered. The girl was clearly lost in thought, thinking about something else entirely. Alex thought she had a pretty good idea what that was.
Alex took a deep breath. Not just because it felt so good to pull into her lungs after the earlier panic, but because she needed some fortification for what she was about to say.
“It was bad in there, Maryanne. On the verge of…that complete blackness. Of nothingness.”
“I imagine it was.”
“Yeah, that’s just it.” Alex shifted on the bed. “I think you do imagine it, Maryanne. I think you imagine it all the time.”
Maryanne’s own eyes widened now. “What do you mean?”
“It’s always been there, like an aura around you,” Alex said. “Grief. A…loss. And a tiny seed of self-destructiveness.”
“That’s nuts!” Maryanne leapt to her feet. “Craziness.”
