Eternally North

by Tillie Cole

  “Since we met, I’ve had these feelings for you, and now, well, I feel a lot more. Having you here, with me, is just..." I stared off towards the sky unable to finish that sentence.

  He smiled and kissed the back of my hand. "Me too, gorgeous."

  I didn’t look his way, causing him to pull a frown. He put his finger on my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. "What is it?"

  "Well, we have slept together a couple of times now–”

  “And will do so again, soon,” he interrupted.

  I play-punched his arm. “… and agreed to be exclusive. But I feel I don't know anything about you really. How bad is that? I'm acting like a right slut!" I pressed my head down on his shoulder, and banged it repeatedly, groaning, “My father would kill me!” like a mantra.

  I heard chuckling beneath me. "I for one am glad you are slutty with me, only me, and you're mighty good at it too. But I disagree on you not knowing me. I am more myself with you than I am with my own family. You make me happy, something I haven’t been in such a long time. You make everything better. You make me a better man. Does that sound a bit cheesy?”

  I shook my head and hugged him hard as I batted my lashes, acting coy.

  He grinned at my playful antics. “And as for not knowing the details, here's your chance."

  I raised my head so quickly that I almost got whiplash. "Really?"

  "Really," he affirmed.

  "Okay. Mmm... let’s start easy. Favourite colour?"

  "Blue. Yours?"

  "Pink. Favourite movie?"

  "Spartacus. Yours?"

  "The Breakfast Club. Favourite food?"

  "Pizza. Yours?"

  "Same, or fish and chips, or a Sunday roast, or pancakes – bugger it, I have a long list!"

  He laughed at me and announced that it was his turn. "Biggest turn-on in a man?"

  "Monogamy, muscles, shaved heads and tattoos." He smiled and punched a celebratory fist in the air.

  I ignored it, "You?"

  "Mmm, let me think. I suppose a five o'clock shadow and a defined chest?"

  I tweaked one of his nipples.

  “Hey!” he mock cried.

  "In a woman, you twat!"

  "Oh, okay, I get it! A good sense of humour, curves, brown hair, brown eyes and... 100% trust,"

  Yeah for me!

  He regarded me intensely. "How many sexual partners have you had?"

  "Four, including you. You, Mr. North?" I asked, my heart picking up speed as I awaited his response.

  He winced. "More."

  "Not good enough. I want numbers!" No you don’t, Tash, why have you asked this question?

  He lowered his head. "I'm ashamed to say I don't know. I’m thirty-one. I’ve had two semi-serious relationships, if you can call them that and... considerably more one-night stands. We're not talking hundreds here, but there have been more than is deemed acceptable from someone of my age, put it that way."

  I huffed at the fact he wouldn't confess more than this little titbit of information. I folded my arms. "That's all you’re saying?"

  Considerably more one night stands? Great!

  He nodded sternly, and then shook his head. “Actually, there is one thing.”

  I glared back moodily, arms still crossed across my chest. That worked against me, I shouldn’t have pushed the girls in his face. He groaned and had to struggle to tear his lusty gaze away from the view.

  He took my face in his large hands. “You’re number one, you’re it. Easily the best sex of my life, and I want you for more than just one night. I’ll take you forever if you’ll have me. With you everything is just… different… it’s just… beyond anything I could have ever imagined,” he whispered swallowing the heart-felt words that hitched in his throat.

  I tried to stay in a mood but his words melted my anger, and I moved to kiss his nose. “What’s with all of the tattoos?” I asked while I licked the end of the tribal swirl on his lower neck.

  He moved his head further to the side to let me explore. “My good buddy back in Vancouver is an artist and I asked for something one day, I let him decide. After my arm, I kinda got addicted and we kept going. He used me as a showcase for his work. Most people don’t like it, think it’s too much, but I’m happy with it. Tattoo’s are art to me.”

  I smiled. “I bloody love it! It’s like you’re all my favourite things put on Earth to tempt me, especially the tats, they’re my weakness. But why the left-hand side?”

  “It’s the side of the heart, the soul. It sounds stupid, but for me it was a spiritual experience, helped me rid myself of some demons I’d been carrying; they remind me that I’m strong. The left-hand side is purely for me. The right, I’ve been saving for someone special, a blank canvas just for them.”

  I wasn’t expecting that level of admission. I loved how he was always able to surprise me.

  "Okay, next question,” he moved the conversation on swiftly before I got a chance to find out about those pesky demons and that someone-special tattoo plan.

  “Are you close to your family?" he asked.

  "Extremely. You?"

  "Very."

  "Can I ask a personal question?"

  He nodded.

  "Obviously I’ve met your mother and siblings, but where's your dad?"

  Tudor tensed as rigid as a board underneath me, digging his fingers into my hips.

  I shifted at the feeling. “Ow!”

  He dropped his hands into the safety of the water. "Shit, sorry, Tash. Look, he's not in my life."

  I stroked his chest and peered up, he was now staring at the stars. "Why?" I pushed.

  He dropped his gaze to me looking slightly pissed off. "Tash, he's just not. Leave it there. I can’t talk about it."

  I stopped stroking his arm and withdrew from his lap like a scolded dog. He caught me before I could scurry too far away and brought me back to his chest, controlling his breathing, mouth sucking droplets of water off my skin. "Sunshine, I'm sorry, forgive me. I... I just can't talk about him. Please just understand that that topic is a no go area for me."

  I sighed and accepting his apology. Hopefully in time he would tell me more about it, open up.

  "Okay, my turn," I announced. He visibly relaxed knowing I was respecting his wishes. "What's your favourite song?"

  He lowered his lids shyly, before peeking over his lashes hesitantly to meet my eyes. "‘Beneath Your Beautiful’."

  I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

  "Yours?" he asked, grinning.

  I whispered, "The same. You know that."

  He placed a hand on the back of my head to pull me in for a kiss.

  I grinned against his mouth. "That is why you had it as your ringtone, isn’t it?"

  He nodded.

  "Then why did you get so angry at the pond when we went skating? You were so cold and horrible to me. If you liked me, why didn't you just say so? We could have avoided all the shit that followed."

  Tudor stared at me for what felt like an eternity, and I couldn't read his expression. Was he mad, upset, pissed off that I'd brought it up?

  He rubbed his lips together. "Tash, the truth is that I didn't want you to know I liked you, how much I liked you. Relationships are not good for me at the moment, but I could not get you out of my head, and after this I know I never will. I've never had someone affect me like you do."

  He grimaced as if in pain, dragging in shallow breaths. "I can't believe I was such an ass to you though, I wish I could just go back in time and take it all back."

  Me too!

  I sighed and nodded in agreement. “So you did have the ringtone because you liked me?"

  "Yes. Every time I played it, it made me think of you, and that night, holding you, laughing with you… caring for you. It was like nothing I had ever experience before. I couldn’t get you out of my head."

  He kissed just below my ear and continued. "It was that night you know, after your accident, when I realised how much I liked you. No-one has
ever made me feel like this. I can't explain it. I just want you so much that it physically hurts."

  I embraced him tightly, wrapping my arms and legs around him like a spider monkey. “You don't need to explain it. I feel the same way too."

  He regarded me over shy eyes. "Really?"

  I kissed his nose. "Really."

  "Well come here then, I want to see how you taste.”

  “Tudor, you’ve kissed me a million times by now, you know how I taste.”

  His eyebrows danced villainously. “Not everywhere I don’t.”

  He picked me up as if I weighed nothing and pushed me back against the hot tub wall, balancing my backside and holding my hips up on the ledge. He started kissing me on my mouth and continued travelling south. I sucked in a breath as he reached the bottom of my stomach.

  I think I can probably leave the rest to your own imagination, but let’s just say, I found out that night that Tudor would have made a fantastic synchronised swimmer!

  CHAPTER 21

  Breaking the fantasy

  “Wake up, sleeping beauty.”

  I roused from my deep sleep to see Tudor towering over me in only his black Calvin Klein boxer briefs, holding a tray filled with scrambled eggs on toast, a huge cup of steaming-hot coffee and a clipped-to-size sunflower in a small, pink vase.

  I cast a shy smile. “Morning, babes. What's all this?”

  Tudor leaned down and pecked a kiss on the top of my head. “This, Sunshine, is breakfast in bed. A thoroughly deserved one too. And I like that you call me babes," he grinned and winked.

  I sat up, letting the duvet fall to my waist, proudly showing off the goods, and took the flower from its vase to smell. “Where did you get this?”

  He dropped down on the bed and ran a finger across my neck. “I had to pop out to get some eggs and I got you these. The rest are out there for you in a vase.” He pointed over his shoulder to the living room.

  I gave him a brief thank-you kiss and stretched my arms high, easing the cricks from my overused body, and glanced to the window, noticing that it was still early and the sun was still rising.

  My eyes squinted at the blindingly-bright glare. “What time is it?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “About eight a.m.”

  My mouth dropped in disbelief. “Then why the heck are we up? We didn’t even get to bed until after three this morning!”

  He just pursed his lips and waggled his eyebrows at me. We had spent most of the previous night in the hot tub, lazing and talking, finding out more little details about one another and just ignoring the real world for a little while. At around one in the morning, we had grown hungry and made some pancakes and brought them back to bed. I giggled quietly as I looked over to the bedside cabinet at the half-eaten midnight snack, blushing at the memory of why it had never been finished. I ran my hand down to my stomach, still sticky from the maple syrup, and smiled at the 9 ½ weeks-esque direction the night had taken.

  Tudor, noticing my train of thought, shuffled down the bed and lapped at the residue on my belly. “Mmm… still delicious, and definitely something we will do again.”

  That snapped me out of my trance. “Up, now, my body cannot take any more.” I tried to move his humongous shoulders off my over-sexed body and failed, badly.

  He crawled back up, lying flush over me, nuzzling my neck. “Fine. I’m giving you today to recover, but tonight you’re mine again.”

  “Tudor, you haven’t been home in days, and as much as I am enjoying you being here, I’m better now and you don’t have to stay twenty-four-seven. Plus, I can't have any more sex, I'm exhausted! I would like to be able to walk at school on Monday morning!"

  He braced his arms and moved to look at me, a little put out. “I called in at home this morning when I was out getting food, everything is good, so if you would like, I could stay one more night. You know, just until Tink gets back?”

  He looked so hopeful.

  I grinned at his cute, puppy-dog face. “Oh, okay then, if you must!”

  He moved in for a not-so-innocent kiss, and after several seconds his hands started roaming south into naughty places.

  I pushed him back. “Oi! Sex fiend! NO!”

  He sighed loudly for effect and rolled over, adjusting himself with one hand and covering his eyes with the other. “Today, Tash, that’s all you’re getting. Then it’s on,” he muttered, obviously in sexual pain. I had to smile to myself. I loved the impact I had on him.

  I reached for the tray of food and tucked in. Tudor lay still for a while, huffing away his frustration, and after he had got over his not-so-little ‘trouser tent’ – or should it be marquee? – problem, got up and wandered into the front room. Seconds later he came back in, holding out my diamante-covered pink phone.

  I took it from him and checked the screen, nothing. I checked the list of missed calls, emails and messages, nada. Tudor was standing to the side of the bed, all serious-looking, arms crossed tightly over his chest. I looked back at him in confusion.

  He rubbed his hand over his stubbly chin. “You need to make a call or a text, preferably.”

  “I do?” I asked.

  He nodded his head with attitude. “You need to cancel your date.”

  “Oh shit. Gage!” I launched upright, putting my hand on my head. He ground his teeth together at the mention of Gage's name.

  Wait a bloody second!

  I pushed my tray away and sat up on my knees, facing Mr. Moody-arse, not even bothered that I was stark naked. “Is that why we’re up so early on a Sunday morning?” I asked, slightly annoyed but also kind of proud of myself for foiling his plan.

  He read my pissed-off tone right and pouted – yes, pouted, like an overgrown three-year-old. He spoke without looking up. “I couldn’t sleep knowing that you had agreed to be with me as my girlfriend and yet your date was still planned for today. It made me… uncomfortable. I'm not used to feeling like this and I don't like it,” he mumbled and began kicking the carpet.

  I tried to be angry, but the six-foot-three hulk of brawn looked too cute, and I kind of liked that he felt so jealous. I held out my hand. “Come here.”

  He moved as quickly as a snake, tackled me onto the bed and into my awaiting arms.

  I kissed his head patronisingly. “Poor Tudor, do you have a case of the green-eyed monster?”

  He narrowed his eyes. “Would you like it if I was meeting another woman today for coffee after we had just made love?”

  Made love. Not had sex, but made love.

  I locked still, he pulled a smug grin – he knew he'd got me.

  “Pass me the phone.” I held out my hand and he dropped it into my awaiting palm.

  He huffed in victory. I flicked through the numbers and pressed the call button on Gage’s name. Tudor wrapped his arms around my waist, laying his head on my sticky stomach.

  Gage answered on the third ring. “Natasha! I was just thinking about you. I was wondering when you would be awake for me to call.”

  He sounded happy. I knew Tudor could hear both sides of the conversation by the tensing of his arms around my middle.

  I cleared my throat. “Hi Gage, I hope you’re okay?”

  “I’m great knowing I’m seeing you today.”

  I winced, and Tudor growled, like actually growled. I looked down in surprise and shook my head in disbelief at his strange reaction.

  “Erm, yeah about that…”

  “Oh… I see, this is a letdown call, isn’t it? You’re not coming for coffee?” he sounded absolutely deflated.

  I felt so bad, if things hadn’t… escalated last night with Tudor, I’d have most definitely gone today. “Well, it’s just, last night I saw an… old… friend, and well, we have decided to try to see if we can be more than just platonic. I don’t think coffee today with you would be appropriate now, given this new development.” I winced once more. Tudor relaxed and feathered kisses along my skin.

  Gage sighed. “Okay, damn…” He let out a single
disappointed laugh. “I should have made the coffee date for earlier in the week, shouldn’t I? Or spoke to you back in September.”

  “I’m sorry, Gage. If it’s any consolation, I was looking forward to it.”

  I let out a sudden whoosh of breath as Tudor gripped me tightly, knocking the wind right out of me.

  “Me too, Natasha, I’ve been excited all week, but I guess life doesn’t always give you what you want, eh?”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “Me too. I guess I’ll just see you around.”

  “‘Bye, Gage.”

  “‘Bye, Natasha.”

  I was about to hang up when Gage spoke again, “Natasha?” he shouted so I would hear him.

  “Yeah?”

  “If it doesn’t work out with your old friend, give me a call. My offer’s an open invitation for you.”

  I was touched by the sentiment but the warm feeling was interrupted when Tudor growled again.

  Seriously, who growls?

  “I’ll keep that in mind. ‘Bye for now.” I rushed out.

  I pressed ‘end’ on the call and sat in silence, upset that Gage was feeling so low.

  Tudor jumped up suddenly and grasped my face in his hands, swooping in for a frantic kiss. “Do you think we will last?” he blurted out anxiously, his lips still connected to mine.

  What the hell?

  I reared back and peered into his worried eyes. “I-I don’t know Tudor, we’ve only just got together. Why?” I rubbed my hand over my face. “What do you think?” I asked, my nerves now starting to unravel at his random line of questioning.

  He slumped opposite me and grabbed my hands in both of his. “I don’t know, Tash. But what I do know is that I’ll fight for you, no matter what happens. Do you understand? We may have only just got together, but I have never felt this way about anyone. I just can’t wait to be with you, can’t wait to be more to you that what I am now, to have figured us out. To have you forever.”

  I pulled my hands from his hold and placed them both on his face, pulling him in close, tying to find answers in his skittish eyes. “Hey, where is all of this coming from? I’ve never seen you like this before. You’re worrying me.”

  His sudden panic over our very new relationship status was slightly unnerving to say the least. I would not have expected such a strong reaction from him over a call from a potential date, not at this early stage. If I’m honest, it was all a bit overwhelming.