by Raven Dark
My sex slicked and my ass tightened around him at his words, pain and pleasure making me whimper. He knee walked me forward until I was near enough to the wall to lean forward and lean my palms on it. As soon as I was in position, braced for his taking, he slid out of me once.
Hawk slammed into me, fucking my ass like a man possessed. The position I was in, with his knees spreading mine wide and leaning forward to throw my balance off, there was nothing to do but take him. Take him, and all the pleasure and the pain he gave me.
“Ah…ah…oh, Maker, Master…please…” I wanted to tell him to slow down, that it was too much, but I couldn’t get the words out. He felt like heaven and hell all at once, burning and searing and rocking me toward the edge fast.
“I think this mouth of yours has gotten you in enough trouble, don’t you?” his hand clamped over my mouth. “Let’s keep it good and shut.”
Still thrusting in and out of me, I felt him reach for something. Then the hand over my mouth slid away and his other hand pushed something in. A cloth, gagging me.
“There.” His cock slid out and hammered home. “Now you can’t say anything that might make me have to hurt you more.”
Unaccustomed to the fullness of the gag, I tried to spit it out, but his hand held it in place. His other palm slapped my ass, making me flinch and tighten. The pain made me scream, made him groan and thrust faster.
Hawk took me like a savage, the way an animal takes his mate, harsh and dark and mean. I hated it, and I loved it too. One hand wrapped my hair around hi fist, the other still over my mouth. He grunted and sped up. I wailed helplessly, and he spilled into me.
When he was done, he washed us both from a pitcher in the corner, and then pinned me on my back to the mat, fucking me until I thrashed against him. He gagged me again and crushed me under him, then flipped me over and took me from behind.
Knees keeping mine apart, teeth biting my shoulder, palm pressing my cheek into the dirt while his hips slammed mine. A few twigs and leaves littered the cave floor, scraping me. I was dirty and scratched, and he didn’t care.
The thing was, I knew the truth. This wasn’t even Hawk taking me. This was someone else. I’d opened up something inside him, a cage he usually kept locked tight and repressed with his iron hard Yantu training. I’d unleashed a beast, one who, until it was sated, wouldn’t be leashed again.
Seconds before he came, he pulled out and jerked himself off onto my back. Right on the tattoo, though again, he gave no sign that he even noticed it. The thought cut me.
For a long time after, he lay with me pinned under him, our heavy breaths filling the cave. Hawk rested his head on my shoulder. His hand was around my throat, slack, but I knew he could tighten it any moment.
My eyes stung for what we’d never have. “Why did you do this, Master?” I sniffed.
“You know why.” His fingers gently pushed my hair out of my face. We were on the mat again and my cheek pressed into the leather.
I did know, but I needed to hear him say it.
“You made me feel too much, Kitten. Part of my job means hurting people, killing them. I have to be hard, have to be cold. You have no idea how hard it is to shut off when I can’t get you out of my head. I had to make you see. I’m dangerous. You deserve better.” He sighed against my neck. “Now you’ll think of this and you won’t want me again. You won’t want me, and I can just be…”
“Be Yantu.” I whispered sadly.
He nodded.
The revelation felt like he’d ripped out my heart. It felt like he’d gutted me, because in that moment, I not only understood him, I knew he’d made his choice, and it wasn’t me.
Sometime later, too long and too short a time later, Hawk led me back to Pretty Boy’s cave in silence. I followed behind him, never feeling more like a slave than I did then. I couldn’t understand why what he’d done hurt so much, why I still felt like he’d done so much worse than punish me for wanting him.
Honestly, I was glad he didn’t want to talk; my emotions were so all over the place, I couldn’t have formed any semblance of a conversation. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and be alone.
I wanted to be alone, and yet I’d never felt more lonely in my life.
Early twilight had come to the Grotto, and the brightness mocked my pain. How had I been with him that long?
Pretty Boy was asleep, and Hawk didn’t come in, instead dropping me at the entrance once he knew Pretty Boy was home. I wondered if he stayed outside to avoid waking him up or to avoid the questions Pretty Boy would have when he saw my bruised wrists, my dirty knees, my wild hair.
No. Hawk wouldn’t have cared if he let loose on him, and I wasn’t sure he would have, considering the reaction he and Steel had given to Sheriff punishing me.
“Sleep, Kitten.” Hawk took my chin and kissed my lips, ignoring it when I looked away. “Forget about me. There’s nothing in me you want.”
Not that I would have known what to say anyway, but before I could have spoken, he turned and stalked off into the brightening dawn.
I slipped into the cave, greeted by Pretty Boy’s soft, even breathing. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to run into his arms or get as far from him as possible.
Emotions running wild and throat tight, I slid down the wall inside the entrance and put my head in my hands, trying to hold in the tears.
Why in Maker’s name was I crying? I was a slave, this was how things were.
I should have hated him. But I knew now, he was using his Yantu warrior ways as a shield against something more frightening than anything he could do as a warrior, and I wanted nothing more than to break him free of his pain.
Only, I knew I never would. And I knew that I shouldn’t. He had made his choice; therefore, I’d make my own. I’d accept Hawk for who he was. No more games, no more pursuing him. It cut me deep to do so, but I’d let him be.
My whole body shook with sobs as it hit me hard in the gut. I was crying, not for what he’d done to me, but because I felt things for Hawk most women never feel for their masters.
I was crying because I knew, even before he’d taken me to that cave, I’d fallen in love with Hawk.
I’d fallen in love with Hawk, but he would never love me.
Chapter 18
Dangerous
The following day, I woke feeling like I’d been run over my half the motorbikes in the Dark Legion’s garage. My muscles were so sore. I woke up in Pretty Boy’s bed with a groan. Thankfully, I woke up alone, so he wouldn’t be asking questions I wasn’t ready to answer.
Hawk had used me like a rag-doll, and yet somehow, I only realized how savage he’d been now, when my back, my thighs, my ass cried out in protest.
I peeled myself off the bed and went to the water closet, splashing water on my face. In the bedroom, footsteps brushed the lush carpet, light and graceful.
“Master?”
“Morning, Princess.”
Funny how I’d come to recognize each of my masters’ footsteps, so that even when I couldn’t see who it was or hear their voice, I knew who was there.
“There’s just enough time for breakfast before you’ll have to get an early start on your chores. Grizzle and his bitch are coming back tonight, and Sheriff wants you made up extra special for dinner.” I heard him moving hangers around on the clothing rack in his oak wardrobe.
He was picking out my clothing for the day. A smile tugged at my lips.
Equally strange how, in the time I had known them, each had come to awaken a unique feeling when they were with me, one always present when they were close, and which they and they alone brought.
In Pretty Boy’s case, it was a carefree, slightly wild feeling, like anything was possible and the only rules that mattered were his. For that moment, I could have forgotten the uncertainty of my life. The…bitchy Violet. Hawk. Even Sheriff’s hot and cold behavior.
My heart sank at the thought of Hawk, but I pushed down the loneliness that threatened to suck me down. There wa
s no point dwelling on what couldn’t be. Unfortunately, that left me thinking about having to spend any more time in that woman’s presence.
“I’ll be out in a minute, Master.” I gave my teeth a quick brush and then stepped out.
“You okay this morning, Princess? You don’t look like you slept all that well. Hawk’s not still being a pain in the ass, is he?”
I winced at the choice of words. Not wanting him or Steel to know about my night with Hawk, I decided to be vague. I wanted to process last night’s events first before I shared it with them.
“I’m fine, Master. Just still tired, I guess. Did Master Steel go to the mines early again?”
He seemed to buy my explanation as he looked me over and didn’t press the issue. “Yeah. He says he’ll be by the slave quarters to get you for lunch.”
A pleasant bubble of happiness swelled in my chest. I started pulling on a simple robin’s egg blue cadris, hiding my smile behind my long hair. I’d grown used to these afternoon picnics with Steel, sneaking off for another reading lesson behind the kitchens.
“Care to tell me what you do out there every day with Steel, Princess?” Pretty Boy asked, watching me dress. His arms were crossed, but his eyes teased.
“Um.” Light. Or as Cherry had been teaching me to say, shit. Steel still didn’t want anyone to know I was teaching him to read. Maker, he didn’t even know Sheriff knew yet.
“You know, Princess, he and I used to talk over our lunch hour. Now he ditches me to eat with you.” The accusation in his voice was playful.
I kept my face straight, hoping I did a better job here than I had with Sheriff playing poker. “What else would a man like Steel do alone with his slave?”
Pretty Boy looked at the ceiling, his beautiful mouth a smirk. “He’s fucking off to get laid?”
I shrugged and buttoned up the side of my cadris top. Better he think we were going at it like rabbits than knowing the truth until Steel was ready.
“Well, good for him. But next week, it’s my turn, got it?” Pretty Boy smirked as he turned and started to pack up one of the fancier cadris in a protective bag to take with us to Cherry. “Before you, he rarely let himself be with anyone, even the club whores. With Steel, it was like he was still in the gladiator ring, never letting himself be weakened or distracted by a woman.”
Unsure what to say to this, I had him pass me an elastic for my hair and focused on binding it up. Pretty Boy came around the side of the bed and slid his arms around me. His whiskers tickled my neck.
“You’re changing everything, Princess. Me, I never let myself be with the same woman twice until you came along.” He stepped back a little and his fingers caressed the line across my lower back, below the cadris top, where the curved letters of the Dark Legion’s name covered my skin. “Now I can’t get near anyone else.”
I turned to him, his words making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, even while burning hot jealousy ran through me at the thought of him being anywhere near another woman. “Really, Master?”
He nodded. Did I sense a hint of annoyance there? “Come on.” He took my hand. “We don’t have much time.”
After a quick visit to the common room for a plate of bacon—the only meat I’d eat—and eggs and my tea with iris root, Pretty Boy dropped me off at the laundering hole. He handed Cherry the bag with the outfit she was to put me in that night when she dolled me up for dinner with the General and his guests. Then he pulled me in for the usual long, hard kiss and a swat on the backside to send me off.
Gathered at the edge of the water, the women looked up from their work, most of them smirking and watching with amusement. All of the slaves looked comfortable in their soft, conforming new outfits. It was nice not to have to deal with the usual accusing stares and mocking now.
“Sheriff’ll send Gore to collect you at seven, shortly after Grizzle is supposed to get here,” Pretty Boy said, touching me under my chin. “Stay with Cherry until then. Leave only for lunch with Steel.”
“Of course, Master.” I avoided rolling my eyes. Would they ever stop being so overprotective, having someone baby sit me at all hours?
Once Pretty Boy was gone, I went with Cherry to her rooms to hang the bagged outfit for safe keeping.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re walking like you have a pickle up your ass today, Violet?”
I might have laughed, except the question made me think of Hawk. The memory of the way he’d used me last night should have scoured away any feelings I had for him, but an emptiness still clutched at my heart all the same.
“Always refreshing, your blunt speak, Cherry.”
“That’s not an answer.” She grinned at me over her shoulder. “You never came back to the party last night. Did you talk to Hawk?”
I lowered my eyes, bit my lip as my face grew hot with as much shame as lust.
Cherry raised a brow. Then she peered closer and her mouth formed a perfect, silent “Oh.” She cleared her throat and came to me, setting her hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
I had a feeling she wasn’t referring to my physical well being, but that she could see the far more painful emotional turmoil I knew I couldn’t hide on my face.
“Physically, I’m fine. It’s just.” I looked at the ceiling and twisted my hands, blinking back tears of loss. “Cherry…how do you deal with it when you know someone will never feel the same way about you that you do about them?”
Her sympathetic look surprised me. She sighed. “There’s only three things that cure a broken heart, Violet. A hot bath, lots of heavy drink, and great sex.”
The day seemed to drag on forever. If I hadn’t looked at the sky outside regularly and seen the sun rise higher above the cliffs and the solar trees on the green change positions accordingly, I’d have thought the day was moving in reverse. The coming night loomed like a dark cloud in my mind, eating away at my nerves more and more, I wished it would just get here already, but it never seemed any closer.
I tried to lose myself in the rhythm of washing, hanging and folding clothes, traversing the walkways and ladders between the men’s caves with Cherry during our deliveries, but I couldn’t get my head in the game. I nearly fell off a ladder two stories from the lower level twice.
“Good, you’re here,” Cherry groaned when Steel showed up to pick me up for lunch. “Take her away from here before she hurts herself. Maybe a good banging will help her get her head on straight.”
I gave her a cross look, but she pretended not to notice.
“Now there’s a concept I can get behind,” Steel growled into my ear as we walked toward the common room kitchen. His hand enveloped mine, and I let the warmth of it sooth away the hollowness in my heart.
Steel had brought a book with him today, but we didn’t read. Cherry was right, great sex worked wonders on a broken heart. Over the next hour, Steel made sure I thought of nothing but him.
It would never make sense to me how I could have three very different masters, all of whom left me feeling fulfilled, owned, and protected in some way—even Sheriff, in his own distant, domineering way—and yet, I could be left feeling so incomplete. With Hawk, it felt like there was an essential puzzle piece missing, one that would never be put into place.
Did that mean that I was starting to love my other masters, as well?
The evening came around at last. Cherry and I took our time bathing, nearly an hour to soak and wash. Then we returned to the slave quarters, she took me into her dressing room, and over the next three hours, she made me up just so.
The carids Pretty Boy had chosen for me tonight was…interesting. The top was shaped more like a strapless brazier than a top, clipped at the back, cupping my breasts, boosting them. The bottoms were billowy, with a sash of a belt like a lot of the others, but there was a slit up the outside of each leg so that they seemed to be attached only at the ankles and waist, showing my long legs off when I walked. The skimpy top showcased nearly all of the tattoo, leaving no doubt as to whose
mark I wore and who owned me. Gold chains and charms dangled from my neck, my waist, my ankles and wrists, making me look like some rich king’s slave.
Or someone who belonged to a powerful pirate leader.
Cherry had twined the front and sides of my hair up in a complex plait, leaving the whole back of it to fall down to my backside, and allowing a few long, lavender curls to frame my face. She’d decked my feet in open-toad sandals Sheriff apparently was known to like his women to wear.
“You look terrified,” Cherry said, turning me around on the makeup stool to look over her handiwork. She nodded in satisfaction for my appearance, then wrinkled her nose, her voice pitched low. “Is she really that bad?”
“Madi’san? Yes.” Scathing made my voice sound almost alien to my ears. “She’s kind of a bitch.”
Cherry’s brows shot up and her lips twitched. “Wow. She must be. I’m proud of you, Violet. You managed to swear like a real Legion woman this time.”
“She deserves it. I’ve never seen anyone with a more holier than thou glower. And she wants Sheriff. I know she does.”
“Ooh. Jealous, Violet?”
“It’s not that,” I said too quickly, and my cheeks heated when she quirked a brow. “She’s poison. I can feel it.”
“What do you mean?”
I looked around, making sure we were out of earshot of anyone. “Cherry, something weird happens when I’m near her. And it happened before when the men brought me back to the Grotto.”
When she waited for me to go on, I licked my lips.
“I can…feel a Violet’s presence. It’s so strange. I don’t understand what it is. But it’s not my imagination. I can feel them.”
“You mean, feel them, feel them? You can sense their minds?” She whispered this as if she couldn’t believe it was real.
“Yes. I mean, there’s still no specific emotion I can put into words, but with Madi’san, her mind is very dark. It’s almost…predatory.” I shuddered. “I just don’t trust her.”
