by K. C. Lynn
“Anything?” I ask Julia and Kayla as I pace angrily in Julia’s kitchen. All of us have been waiting for Grace to text, and fucking nothing. It’s been hours; she should be home by now.
“You know what? Fuck it! I’m just going to go there. If she’s not home yet then I’ll wait for her.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Sawyer. Maybe she needs to be alone right now, and we should respect that,” Julia replies nervously.
“That’s the last fucking thing she should be- is by herself.” It comes out harsher than I intend for it to, and when I see her wince it makes me feel like an asshole.
“Watch your fucking tone, Evans,” Jaxson says, getting pissed.
Yeah well, join the fucking club. I shake my head and know I’m going to get into a fight if I don’t get the fuck out of here.
“Look, I’m going over there. I’ll text you girls later and let you know.” Walking out the door without another word, I get into my truck and haul ass.
Less then ten minutes later I’m parking in Grace’s driveway. Getting out of the truck I walk around the corner and stop dead in my tracks.
Oh fuck!
Agony rips through me at the sad fucking sight before me: a beautiful, broken- looking girl, sitting on her front steps, wearing an evening dress. She’s bent over at the waist; her face buried in her lap as her shoulders shake with grief. I briefly register the empty bottle of wine that sits next to her.
“Cupcake?” my words are gruff even to my own ears.
Her head snaps up in shock, and the saddest fucking eyes crash into mine. She quickly wipes at her tears, as if she can clear them before I see them. “Sawyer? What are ya doin’ here?”
I shrug, “You never texted. I was worried.”
I stay where I am, not knowing how she feels about me just showing up. We stare at each other in silence for at least a good minute while she decides if she wants to talk to me or not, and it’s the longest fucking minute of my life. Something passes over her face when she makes her decision.
She shrugs her bare, slender shoulders and sucks in the most painful breath I’ve ever heard as she tries to get words out. “He didn’t want me.” Her head drops back down, as if the agony is too much for her to hold it up anymore.
“Fuck!” Not being able to stay away a second longer I walk over, pick her up and bring her down on my lap. She wraps her arms around me and buries her face in my neck, soaking it with her tears. Her small, vulnerable body curls into mine, and my arms vibrate from her anguish.
Jesus, I didn’t even know it was possible for someone to cry this fucking hard. I decide not to say anything and just hold her.
“He knew, Sawyer.” I have to strain really hard to understand the words that she tries getting past her sobs. “He knew about my Mama and he never came. He left me with him; this whole time I thought he never knew because there was no way he wouldn’t come for me. No way he would leave me with that monster, but he knew… he knew the whole damn time.”
My blood begins to pump with fury. I’m not sure if I’m more mad about her piece of shit dad or hearing about this fucking monster. Leaning my head back, I grab her face between my hands so I can look into her eyes, our foreheads almost touching. “Fuck him, Grace. You hear me? Fuck. Him. You don’t fucking need him, you have made it this far without him and you will continue to. It’s his goddamn loss, Cupcake, not yours,” I seethe every word through clenched teeth.
She rests her forehead against mine and her hot tears fall onto my face. I thread my fingers through her soft, wavy blonde hair that feels like fucking silk. “He tried to give me a check for $50,000, as if that would make up for it, but I ripped it up and threw it in his face. I could have really used that money, Sawyer, but I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t accept it. All I want is to belong to someone. It’s not right, everyone should belong to somebody.”
The last of her words break out into a sob and cracks my fucking heart right in half. “You do belong to people, baby, you belong to me, and to Julia, and to Kayla… you belong to us all, Grace.”
She shakes her head, “It’s not the same thing, Sawyer. I love you guys but it’s not the same thing. Everyone should have some sort of family.”
“Sometimes, Grace, people are better without their families. Look at Jaxson…”
“But he belongs to Julia, he still belongs to someone. The only person who ever loved me unconditionally was ripped away from me…” she trails off and cries harder. “I miss her so much, Sawyer; some days the pain is so bad I wish my heart would stop beating.”
As soon as the words leave her mouth it’s a like a blow to my fucking chest, a thousand pounds of bricks just fell on it and sucked the air from my lungs.
I shake my head frantically against hers, grinding my teeth against the pain. “Don’t fucking say that, Grace, don’t ever fucking say that again. Your friends need you. I need you. You will get through this, baby, we’ll help you.”
Her sad eyes stare directly into mine just before her gaze drops to my mouth, and that was the only sign I got before her mouth crashed on mine.
And I was fucking right; she tastes sweeter than anything I have ever tasted. Her fingers wind in my hair, holding me captive to her. She kisses me with desperation while I kiss her with all the fucking pent-up longing I’ve had since laying eyes on her. I run my hands up the softest legs I’ve ever felt then shove them up her dress. A low, primal growl erupts from my throat as I grab her lace-covered ass.
“Sawyer,” she whimpers my name against my lips, spiking my dick harder than I thought possible. I feel the heat of her lace-covered pussy through my jeans, as she grinds herself against my rock-hard cock.
Amongst the sweet taste of her tongue, I also taste her tears, her agony and wine. Fuck! My brain rages a war against my dick, yelling at me to stop, but my cock tells me to keep going. Eventually my brain wins, and somehow I manage to pry my mouth away from the best thing I’ve ever tasted.
Christ this sucks! When the fuck did I become so goddamn noble? I rest my head against her shoulder, not wanting to look at her, knowing I will lose any of the control I’m barely hanging onto at the moment. Our heavy breathing, from trying to catch our breaths, is the only sound that can be heard.
“Cupcake,” I say quietly, shaking my head against her shoulder, not knowing what to say.
Before I can find the words though, she starts scrambling off me like her ass is on fire. “Oh god.”
I grab onto her hips as she stands, trying to stop her from careening back off the fucking steps in her haste. “Whoa, baby, calm down.”
She slaps my hands away. “No, let go. I’m fine, really.”
She races to her front door but I grab onto her wrist before she can get too far. “Grace, what the fuck?”
She rips her hand out of my grip and holds onto the door like it’s her lifeline, “Sawyer, please just go; I need to be alone right now.”
“I disagree. I don’t think you should be alone at all.”
As I start walking closer to her, she holds her hand up to stop me, looking fucking scared, like I’m going to hurt her or some shit.
“Please, Sawyer. I’ll be fine, I promise. I’ve been through far worse than this. I will get through it; I just need time. I need to do this on my own. Please understand.”
Then, before I can say anything else, she high-tails it into the fucking house leaving me on her front steps, wondering what the fuck just happened.
The pounding on my door pulls me from my half-ass sleep.
“Grace, girl open up. We aren’t leaving till we see your pretty little ass. Don’t make me show you my ninja moves and break down this door.”
I groan from Kayla’s insistence. Knowing she isn’t goin’ anywhere, I reluctantly pull my self-pityin’ butt out of bed and go answer the door.
As soon as I swing it open I come face to face with the two girls who have come to mean a lot to me. When they get a look at my pathetic state and red puffy eyes, th
ey charge in and wrap their arms around me.
“I’m so sorry, Grace,” Julia whispers softly.
“Me too.”
“Thank you. Come in. Y’all want some tea?”
“No, we’re fine. Come sit down and talk to us,” Kayla says, pullin’ me to my couch. They both sit on either side of me and wrap a comfortin’ arm around my shoulders.
“Well there’s not much to say. I’m guessin’ you know how bad it went, since I never texted y’all last night. I’m sorry I didn’t. I just needed last night to myself, to try to sort out what happened.”
Julia shifts uncomfortably, “Well, we figured things didn’t go well when we never heard from you, but Sawyer also texted us last night and told us to make sure we come see you this morning, which we were already planning to do.”
Humiliation burns deep at the mention of Sawyer’s name. I drop my head and can’t help the tears that start to fall. They rub comfortin’ circles on my back, “To sum it up quickly, my father doesn’t want anythin’ to do with me. He hid us in the back of the restaurant where no one could see me, and offered me money to keep quiet, which I didn’t accept.” I go quiet for a minute while trying to keep myself together. “What hurts the most is knowing he knew about my Mama,” my breath hitches painfully as I admit that. I look at the girls. “He knew and he still never came for me, and because of it I lived with a horribly cruel man. My bastard father thought $50,000 would make up for it.”
As I cover my face, and cry into my hands, Julia and Kayla rest their heads on either side of mine. I feel their tears mix with my own.
“I know you’re the one hurting right now, Grace, but believe me when I tell you that this is his loss, not yours,” Julia says tearfully.
“Yeah, clearly he’s a real son of a bitch, and you don’t need someone like that in your life. You’re better off without him.”
I nod, knowing they’re right, but it still doesn’t stop it from hurtin’. A comfortable silence falls over us for a minute before I decide to finish off the story.
“I thought my night couldn’t get any worse, but then I had to go and humiliate myself.”
“What do you mean?” Kayla asks.
“Sawyer found me on my front steps last night. Of course bein’ the nice guy that he is, he tried comfortin’ me, and what did I do? I attacked his sexy butt, then got majorly rejected.” I shake my head. “I’m so embarrassed. I totally misread things with him.”
“Don’t be embarrassed, Grace. I don’t think you misread things at all. I think Sawyer cares a lot about you.”
I shake my head again. “Not that way, Julia, and I should have known. I was stupid to think that someone like him would want me that way.”
“Grace Morgan, don’t you dare talk that way about yourself or I’m going to ninja- kick your ass. Any man, Sawyer included, would be damn lucky to have you,” Kayla says firmly.
“Thank you for sayin’ that, but it doesn’t matter anymore,” I reply sadly.
“Julia’s right, Grace. He does care a lot about you. You should have seen how worried he was when you never texted. He was like a caged animal.”
Of course he was, because that’s Sawyer. I’ve come to learn he has a big heart, but I am no fool. What was the best kiss of my life, and made me feel more than anyone ever has, was not the same for him.
“Can we not talk about him anymore?” I feel bad sayin’ that, but it hurts too darn much.
“Sure,” Julia replies, “but, Grace, please know you can call us anytime you need us. No matter what, you always have Kayla and me. We want to be here for you, so please let us.”
I nod, “I will. Thank you. I will be all right. Yes, it hurts a heck of a lot right now, but I will get through this. I have gotten through much worse.”
Kayla shifts nervously now, “Grace, hun, you have never told us where you were before here, and I respect your privacy if you don’t want to share it, but by the sounds of it, maybe this is something you should talk to Coop about. It sounds like where you were before wasn’t a good place.”
Fear and anxiety spikes hard and fast. I shake my head frantically, “No! No, I just want to forget that part of my life.”
Kayla must be able to tell I’m going to lose it. “All right. You don’t have to; it was just a suggestion. Maybe you will change your mind later.”
“Maybe,” I lie softly.
Never. Never will I come face to face with that man again, not for any reason.
“FUCK!” I throw the hammer across the room after smashing the goddamn thing on my thumb.
Cade and Jaxson stop what they’re doing and stare at me.
“Want to talk about it?” Jaxson asks, making shit even more awkward. I look over at him and give him a ‘you’ve got to be shitting me’ look.
He shrugs, “What? I’m not into fucking mushy shit either, but you have been an asshole all week and we’re getting fucking sick of it. So maybe if you get it off your damn chest we can go back to shit being normal again. It’s fucking weird to see you like this, man. This shit is expected from me,” he replies, “not from you.”
“No, I don’t want to fucking talk about it. There’s nothing to say.”
Except that all fucking week Grace has been ignoring me. At first, every text I sent she would give a short, polite reply. Then she just stopped answering altogether. I would show up at the diner and she wouldn’t look at me, or barely talk to me. She would pretend to be too busy and send the new chick to wait on me. And quite frankly I’m goddamn sick of it.
Breaking out of my pissed-off thoughts I realize they’re still staring at me. “Oh for fuck-sakes,” I grab my jacket, “I’m leaving and I’m going to figure this shit out. I’ll see you guys later.”
I walk out of the gym and get into my truck. That girl is going to fucking talk to me for once and for all.
Not even five minutes later I walk into the diner. It’s after the supper rush so things are quiet. I see the new girl that Mac hired, but not Grace.
Maybe she’s not working tonight.
I ignore the new girl walking towards me and head right into the back to see Mac. “Is Grace here?”
He looks at me for a minute, deciding whether to tell me or not. He’s got another thing coming if he thinks I’m leaving without talking to her. He must realize this, because he lets out a deep breath and says, “She’s out back, looking for that damn dog.”
“Thanks.” I head down the hallway and turn left to see Grace leaning against the open back door, with her arms crossed. Even though I can only see her back I can tell she’s fucking sad, which simmers my temper a little.
I clear my throat gently, not wanting to scare her, but she turns around startled anyways with a hand on her throat.
“Sawyer, you scared me,” she looks around nervously, “what are ya doin’ back here?”
“I came to talk to you.”
She begins to move away from the door, “Sorry, now’s not a good time. I need to get back to work.”
My temper quickly spikes again, “So that’s fucking it, Grace? You’re just going to keep fucking ignoring me till I go away?”
She drops her head, looking at her feet. Her arms are still crossed, as if she’s trying to keep warm.
“What do you want me to say, Sawyer?” she asks quietly.
“Well, for starters, you could fucking tell me what the fuck I did wrong?”
She clears her throat but still doesn’t look at me, “You didn’t do anythin’ wrong.”
“Really? You could have fucking fooled me from the way you’ve been acting.”
“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt your feelins’,” she whispers quietly.
“For fuck-sakes! Would you fucking look at me?” Her head snaps up, a mixture of pain and anger in her expression.
“Do I really need to spell it out for you? I’m humiliated enough as it is, but fine, if you really need to hear it then I’ll say it. I’m sorry for throwing myself at you, all right? Now let’s mov
e on and forget about it.”
She goes to walk past me, but I grab her arm before she gets too far. She flinches and raises her arms protectively in front of her, as if expecting a blow, which sends me right over the fucking edge. “You think I would fucking hit you, Grace? Huh? Is that what you think of me?”
Her face turns red and tears spring to her eyes. She rips her arm out of my grasp. “No, I don’t. It was just a reflex.”
I let out a heavy breath and try to calm down, “Why the fuck are you sorry for the other night? I’m not.”
“Don’t, Sawyer. I don’t need you to lie about it. I got the rejection loud and clear.”
“Did you ever fucking consider that I stopped because I was trying to do the right thing? You drank a whole goddamn bottle of wine, Grace, I wasn’t going to fucking take advantage of you!”
She scoffs, “Right, coming from the guy that will pretty much screw anythin’.”
As soon as the words leave her mouth she drops her head and shakes it. “I’m sorry. I shou…”
“You know what? Save it. I’m fucking done. I don’t need this shit.”
Then, before I say or do anything I know I’ll regret, I get the fuck out of there. Mac watches me leave and the new girl clears a wide path as I storm out the front door with my temper soaring and my chest raging with something I can’t name.
I try to be noble and that’s what I fucking get. Well fuck it, I’m Sawyer fucking Evans, I can have any woman I want. So what the fuck should I care what some little blonde chick, that bakes delicious fucking pies, thinks of me?
Getting into the truck, I slam the door and keep a tight hold on my anger, because anger feels a hell of a lot better than the other feeling that’s trying to push its way through.
Oh no, what have I done? With tears streamin’ down my face I walk into the kitchen and grab my coat. “Mac, I need to go. I’m sorry but I can’t be here right now.”
