The Heaven I Found In Hell

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The Heaven I Found In Hell Page 17

by Ashley Andrews


  "It's okay, Ri..." I said, letting out a small laugh just to avoid myself from sounding hurt. "Shit happens..."

  "Not to my brother and you, it doesn't." She said, sounding quite annoyed.

  I really didn't know that this was going to make her feel bad. I absolutely didn't since I knew Nathan wasn't as innocent (as you guys might have believed), and I thought Riley was used to seeing her brother breaking hearts, and getting his heart broken. I told Riley what clouded my mind, and she disagreed the moment I finished my first sentence.

  "You're different...the girls he dated were whores..." She said, looking much gloomier than before. "They were sluts who cheated...and never took my brother seriously..."

  What she said made me question myself.

  "Riley...look at what you said...you described me."

  "Nuh-uh."

  "Ri...I’m a bitch...I don't cheat...but I've probably dated more than those two-timing whores, as you call them...and if you haven't noticed yet...well, I've never taken anyone seriously..."

  I can't believe I was making myself sound like the antagonist that I really wasn't, but I just didn't want my best friend to beat herself up over her brother's and my problems. She looked more forlorn than I was, and she acted like she was gravely affected by my bad news. I wasn't used to seeing the Adams' siblings acting so serious and low-spirited. It made me feel so miserable, and trust me...I've never felt truly miserable.

  "You like my brother...don't you?" She asked, trying to reassure herself.

  I nodded, before I gave her an, "I guess so..."

  "Why do you sound like you don't want to be with him...? You're making up all these reasons..."

  "I never made those up..." I told her, and she knew it.

  "But you were questioning why my brother likes you...can't you just be happy that he feels something for you...?"

  I swear...I was expecting Riley to end her sentence with, "...Can't you just be happy that he feels something for you, you heartless bitch?" But she didn't, and I kind of felt my heart loosening up a bit. She was downhearted, but not angry, and I realized how much of a good friend she was. Instead of siding with her brother just because they were related, she was listening to me...hearing me...understanding me.

  "I'm happy he likes me back...but I’m confused as to why he couldn't just tell me." I said to her, and in return she replied by giving me a question to answer.

  "Haven't you thought about the way you acted? The way you made him see you, even though you weren't aware of it...?"

  I furrowed my eyebrows, and gave her a cowed look. I tried to remember the times where I had acted naughty since I recalled Nathan telling me about something that happened during my first club experience in this place...and then I thought about the other bar-hopping events I went through. Riley was right. Nathan was there every time, and while I was busy making-out and playing with numerous strangers, he was watching me from a distance. But why wasn't he stopping me if he liked me? Because I told him not to do anything. Now I remembered, and now I understood what Riley's brother was talking about all along. But even though most, if not all, was cleared up already, I still had questions.

  "But why is he treating me differently from all the other girls he's dated?" I asked. "I'm just like them...but why...?"

  Riley smiled at me, as though she was some guru who knew a lot more than me. "You ask him that."

  * * *

  The evening arrived much slower than I had expected it to since Saturdays usually flew by like a strong breeze, gone before it even hit you. I spent my afternoon around the school campus, gallivanting, doing nothing, and yes...even studying. I had to thank God...really, seeing as how I was still able to force myself to finish my homework, even though all that clouded my brain were thoughts about Nathan, Nathan, and lastly...Nathan. I was able to finish a paper about the Sumerian Civilization, and still had a number of hours to burn before the sun would set, and thus, I spent the rest of my afternoon hanging out with Cindy. Kendra and Riley were busy playing a practice game with a few of their teammates.

  How did I end up with Cindy? Well...I had to make an excuse that I needed help in this particular lesson in Math, and that I wanted her to explain it to me. Call me desperate or what, but I wasn't going to spend my free time alone sulking because of the fact that I was too much of a coward to 'finish' my talk with Nathan. We spent an hour and a half in her dorm, and after, we went to the mall. We bought a few things from shops like Guess, Abercrombie, and Against All Odds. Yes, I know...they weren't our usual high-end designer shops, but when we saw the clothes, we just had to get them. They were just so, so cute, and...drumroll...comfy! Yes, that's definitely something new for me.

  After we shopped 'til we dropped, we headed over to this Italian Restaurant for some light dinner. We found a table, sitting two, and headed over there, before we browsed the menus. The both of us, obviously, weren't heavy eaters, so each of us ordered a drink, specifically a shake, and some light pasta. While waiting for our orders to come, we decided to talk.

  "So, I heard you and Nathan aren't really on speaking terms right now." She said, very, very straight to the point.

  "News travels fast I see." I answered her, sounding quite collected.

  I had to roll my eyes at her. She obviously didn't know the reason I wanted to hang out with her was to avoid thinking about, talking about, and seeing Nathan, but she was bringing him up. She said his name like I’d be more than happy to continue the conversation, and by the placid tone of voice I used to respond to her, she seemed to think that exactly. She smiled at me as though we were the best of friends, before she leaned her elbows on the table. I knew it was bad to do so, but I wasn't some goody-goody who was going to tell her to stop what she did. That'd be...gay.

  "Are you okay? Nathan's an ass..." She said nonchalantly, doing a small hand gesture.

  Woah! Hold it there!

  I widened my eyes, and gave her a 'what-the-hell' look.

  Wasn't she the one who was dying to have Nathan? And now she's calling him an...ass?

  Call this backstabbing or whatever...but she was good at it. And if my predictions were correct, she was going to call me an ass in front of Nathan, behind my back, just like what she was doing to him, with me. She was two-faced to the max, and she wasn't going to stop anytime soon. I tried to put on a calm facade, just to hide the fact that anger suddenly was flowing through my veins, because of how she was playing the two of us. And I suddenly thought of something...I hate the word 'play'...

  "No, he isn't..." I said with a plastic smile on my face.

  "But aren't you mad that he...? He..."

  "He what...?"

  I noticed the way she stuttered, and it looked to me like she didn't know how to continue her sentence. Maybe she thought I was going to cut her off, and tell her some stupid thing without thinking about it first, but I decided to go the other way, the better one. I waited until she finished, out of respect (such a lie), before I opened my mouth to speak,

  "He left you alone..."

  "We left each other alone..." I said to her when she couldn't say anything more.

  Her eyes widened, and I saw another side of her, fear. Maybe she was scared because I was cornering her, and there was no way out. We were talking quite calmly, and thankfully, we weren't ripping each other's head off...yet. I was glad both of us were acting like ladies...for once. I put my hands on my lap for comfort, before my fingers started to drum some random beat. The both of us kept quiet for a few seconds, and didn't bother to busy ourselves thinking of a topic to rid the awkward silence because the deafening quietness was good for the both of us. After a while, I started.

  "How are you and Scott...?" I asked, hoping that this would be a good start.

  "We're okay...he's much less complicated than Nate." She said, with a small smirk.

  Somehow, that smirk made me feel nervous. It looked like she was trying to tell me something...something I couldn't quite understand yet. I replayed what she said ov
er and over again in my head, until I realized what she meant.

  He's much less complicated than Nate...

  Before I could make further assumptions, I decided to question her first. I didn't want to believe Cindy right away without asking her anything. I realized I had been giving Nathan a series of interrogations, instead of just believing him, and by the way I acted, it gave me the impression that I was hearing Cindy more than I did Nathan...my best friend. I didn't want to be like that...like a bad friend...and besides...nothing good had ever come out of Cindy that benefitted me...maybe expect for my passing grades...

  "How so?" Was my simple question.

  She answered right away, without even stopping to think first.

  "Well, being with Nathan is like being with Brad Pitt. You follow...?" She asked.

  I didn't get it, but I still nodded.

  "Every girl follows you two, and almost everyone knows what you guys are doing together. Also, some people make up nasty rumors that can make the two of you, or break both of you...but they ruin you more...you see...Nathan Adams is just complicated...well, who could blame him. He is after all the most sought after student in Ridgeway."

  She finished her sentence, and in response, I did a small head movement, a nod. Before I could say something, I tried to register what she had told me first, and when I finally did, I spoke up.

  "But even though it's like that...I’m sure there are still some good things..."

  My voice seemed hesitant, and it sounded to me as though I doubted my own self. There was good and bad in everyone, and no matter how perfect someone may seem, he/she still had some flaws for sure. I just needed to find out Nathan's. I'm sure though something had to be wrong with him, even though I didn't want that.

  "Well...you become popular...and envied by everyone..."

  Good enough...for someone who is too desperate! Kick me in my behind, but I just don't fit into that category. I may want him, but I wasn't going to follow him like a lost puppy...he should come to me, not me go to him. I don't roll like that.

  What can I say...? I'm a supermodel.

  Before I could even say something, she beat me to it.

  "Oh...and he's an extremely, superbly, unbelievable...well, it's not unbelievable...it's kind of expected from someone like Nathan...and I forgot tremendously..."

  I cut her off. "I get it...he's an extremely great times infinity...what exactly...?"

  "He's the best kisser..." She said with a wink. "And trust me...his kiss is worth all the complications you're going to have to go through."

  Wait...! Did I miss something...? Didn't she just call Nathan an ass a while ago...?

  "You were calling Nathan an ass a few minutes ago...and now you're telling me he's the best...?"

  Gosh...High School as it is, was already difficult...add a relationship with Nathan to that...? Drama, drama...and what else? Drama. Okay, maybe I’m overreacting, and maybe...I was just letting Cindy get the best of me. But how could I not? She had first-hand experiences to the complications of Nathan Adams...and yes...she had even made-out with him! Unfair, unfair...and...unfair.

  "I'm not saying he's the best...maybe the way he treated me was...ass-ish...if that's even a word, but he's still a good person. I can't just make him like me." She said to herself, but of course I heard it. "I'll just leave it at that."

  "You've got Scott now anyway." I said, trying to make her feel better.

  She nodded at what I told her, and slowly agreed with me. I was right anyway. What's the use of dwelling with an ex-boyfriend (if they were even together), if you've got a current one? Useless, let me tell you. She smiled by the mention of Scott's name, and I immediately remembered when she used to have that same happy expression whenever it was Nath's name we'd call out to her. I started thinking of what would happen to me? Will I have that exact contented look...? I hope so...but before I could even begin my journey to la-la land, Cindy put my thoughts into a halt.

  "And Nathan likes you too much."

  * * *

  I got startled by the loud knocking that erupted from the other side of the door, and badly wanted to curse whoever had stopped my peaceful slumber.

  Cindy and I arrived in Ridgeway at nine-ish, and I spent a couple of hours watching television, before I fell sleepy, and finally closed my eyes. I didn't bother to wait for Riley, who was out on another date since she had her own key...or if the both of us were lucky...she wouldn't have to spend the night in our dorm. Cue evil laugh.

  I got out of bed, and dragged my loser butt, as I left my bedroom and went to answer the door. I opened it, and saw Riley and Anthony carrying a drunken Nathan with his arms on each of their shoulders. I immediately stepped to the side, and made room for them, before I closed the door when they finally laid Nate down onto the couch. He was snoring...quite loudly...eww...but he was still the same hot piece of...you know.

  "What happened to him?" I asked, as I looked at Nathan with an expression composed of curiosity, sympathy, and disgust.

  Why the hell would he drink so heavily?

  * * *

  Chapter 14: Mind Games of the Foolish Hearted

  * * *

  I had to look at Nathan in awe...just...seriously. Aside from the fact that he was dirty and smelled like crap, he still managed to look good, even though he was unaware of it. I stood side-by-side with Anthony, while Riley busied and tired herself by wiping her brother's face with a damp towel. She stopped for a minute, and turned to me, asking me if I wanted to do her current chore. Her actions made me suspicious, and by the way her thin lips curved up into a smirk, I knew she was on to something, and I was smart enough, believe it or not, to know that disagreeing would be the better decision.

  "Nah...it's okay...why is he...?" I started, stuttering for some unheard reason. "You know...like that."

  "He tried to stop thinking about you..."

  Ha! I really wish that was what I heard...but you guys know how life is...

  "He played 'I Never'..."

  "Oh, okay," was my simple response.

  The couple glanced at each other, before they turned back to me with mischievous looks. It made me suspicious, but even though I wanted to ask more questions, I decided to keep quiet. They were probably going to tease me endlessly if I didn't stop now.

  "You won't mind if Nathan sleeps with you anyway, right?" Riley asked, immediately catching my attention.

  I looked at her, and gave her a suspicious glare, and in return, she just smiled mischievously at me. What was she trying to do? I asked myself over and over again, as I tried to register in my brain what she had just said.

  Anthony, who stayed silent in the background, snickered as he tried to resist the urge to laugh, and with that, I came to the conclusion that they were trying to get Nathan and me together. I wasn't being conceited and confident or anything like that, but I just couldn't help but think that way with the way they were acting. I knew I had been thinking too much for the past few weeks, but please…with those mischievous smirks and glinting eyes…what else could you think they were trying to pull off?

  "Hello…? Earth to Alex?" Riley said with a small giggle, as she waved her hand in front of my face.

  I was immediately pulled back to the present, before I answered her with an, "Actually, I mind."

  Riley for a moment there looked shocked with her widened eyes and opened mouth, but when she finally realized what I had just told her, she took in a deep breath. It was too late to argue. Both of us were sleepy, and I knew she wanted to spend more time with Anthony, and leave her brother to my care. I was actually beginning to like the idea of taking care of Nathan…but let the sky fall before I'd actually tell them that…they knew I had feelings for a certain green-eyed boy, but still…I'm not the touchy-feely affectionate kind of person…I wouldn't tell a guy I liked him. I'd feel so…low…no offense.

  "Fine…let him sleep on the couch." She said pouting, as she tried to get me to change my mind.

  "Alex, you really aren't goin
g to let Nathan sleep on the sofa…?" Anthony asked, as he filled up the empty space beside Riley and took her in with a one-armed embrace.

  I wasn’t surprised at all with Anthony's backing up his girlfriend. It was probably one of his boyfriend duties, and thus he wanted to remain the loyal, compassionate, and loving boyfriend that he was. I couldn't really blame him…he just probably loves her that much.

  "Psst! Alex!" Riley said, pinching my left shoulder.

 

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