by Andre, Bella
“Yes, princess?” he asked, a crooked smile curving his beautiful mouth, pushing aside his plate to focus on her.
“Did I say something?” she asked huskily.
He reached out to strum his thumb over her quivering lips. “No, but maybe you should, because it’d be so easy to haul you out to my truck and pull you down onto my lap and kiss you the way I want to kiss you.”
She blinked, very much liking the sound of it. “Okay.”
He laughed quietly, his blue eyes sparking at her. “Okay.” Laughing again, he reached for his sandwich, but his gaze continued to rest on her.
It wasn’t until they were driving home that Jenny found the nerve to ask him about his love life. “Are you a romantic, Colton?”
She’d caught him off guard and he turned his head and gave her a sharp look. “What?”
“You asked me yesterday if I’d ever been madly, passionately in love, and I was wondering, have you?”
He turned his gaze back to the road but his brow was furrowed and he didn’t look happy about her question. “I believe in love, yeah.”
But Jenny wasn’t satisfied with his answer. She wanted more than that and she tugged on her sleeve, pulling the soft fuzzy knit down over her wrist, hiding her hand. “So you’ve felt like you’d die without someone? That losing her would break your heart?”
Colton drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. “Yeah.”
Jenny glanced at him. “So you don’t think romantic love is an illusion?”
Colton sighed inwardly, and shifted on the seat, and then drummed his fingers again, hating the turn their conversation had taken. He did not want to talk about his love life, or his past, not with Jenny, not with anyone. “No,” he said brusquely.
Her head lifted and she looked at him with those wide brown eyes of hers, her gaze searching. But from her expression Jenny wasn’t ready to drop the subject. “Was it as wonderful as they say?” she asked.
He stifled another sigh, telling himself he owed Jenny something. He’d certainly asked a lot of questions of her last night at dinner. “Falling in love is great,” he said shortly. “Falling out of love.. .not so great. In fact, it’s pretty damn awful.”
“Did you want to marry her?”
He laughed once, low and rough. “I did marry her.”
Jenny’s brown grew huge. “But you’re not married anymore?”
“No. Divorced a couple years ago.”
“How long were you married?”
Colton tensed, abs tightening. “Long enough to know I’ll never get married again.”
She visibly winced. “That bad?”
“There were parts that were good. I like the idea of marriage, and I think it works for some people, but I’ve no desire to repeat the experience. I’m happy to be with a woman, and I enjoy female company, but I’m not about to become her meal ticket.”
She stiffened and leaned back against the seat, averting her face to look out the window. They were approaching north Marietta. The gas station near The Wolf Den was coming up. They’d be passing Park Elementary soon and then would be on Chance Avenue in no time.
“That’s harsh,” she murmured, after a moment.
He shrugged, irritated, and not sure if it was more annoyed with her or himself. “But true.”
“Marriage was that bad?”
“My marriage was that bad.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “It was a good life lesson. One I needed to learn. And one I’ll never forget.”
They finished the drive in silence, and he told himself he was glad for the quiet. Better to have silence than discuss something that would just create friction and tension.
They were still in an uneasy silence when he pulled up in front of her house. He parked the truck, and came around the side to open her door for her. “I enjoyed today,” he said, giving her his hand to help her out.
She looked at his hand, and then up into his face, before carefully getting out of the truck without accepting his help. “I did, too.” She stepped onto the scraggly patch of grass tucked between the curb and sidewalk. “Thank you.”
She was saying all the right things, he thought, but her tone was injured, as if he’d been the one to stir things up and turn a wonderful day upside down.
“Any time,” he said tersely.
She lifted her eyebrows. “Don’t say things you don’t mean, cowboy.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can tell you’re upset with me. You didn’t like that I asked you questions, but last night you sure skewered me. But I get it. It’s a man’s world. You guys have your double standards.”
“What?”
“Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I’m talking about, Colton Thorpe.”
And then with a cool, dismissive nod in his direction she turned around and marched off to her house, head high, shoulders straight, looking like a high stepping drum major leading the band in the town parade.
And damn, but he wanted her.
He wanted her naked and straddling his hips. He wanted her on her back and open to him. He wanted her on all fours—
He just plain wanted Jenny.
So Colton, who didn’t chase anybody, chased after her, following her up the steps to her sagging porch and stopping her at the front door.
“I’m sorry,” he said, grabbing her arm and turning her around so she’d face him. “I’m sorry I haven’t been more forthcoming about my marriage but it hurt. It sucked. I loved my wife but she didn’t love me and maybe it’s a male thing, but it is tough to talk about something that I didn’t understand and will never understand but that’s just life. She wanted me. She didn’t want me. She wanted someone else. She got out. Okay?”
Jenny nodded once, a small nod, but he could see how her brown eyes had darkened and filmed with tears. “Okay,” she whispered.
“Shit,” he swore. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“I’m not crying,” she said, even as she reached up to run a knuckle beneath each eye, making sure both eyes were dry.
His hands settled on her shoulders, then slid down to her arms. She felt warm and small and tender and he was kicking himself for being an ass. “I hate that I hurt you. I like you, Jenny.” His voice dropped, his hands slid back up to her shoulders, and then in to her collarbones, and slowly up her neck to frame her beautiful face. “I like being around you,” he added, his voice deepening. “And I definitely like kissing you. But if we’re not careful, pretty soon it’s going to be a lot more than kissing.” He dipped his head, kissed her soft mouth, thinking he could kiss her all day. “Damn girl,” he said gruffly, lifting his head to look down into her eyes, “you’re hard on my self-control.”
She stared up at him. “Maybe you don’t need so much self-control.”
“But I do. Around you I do.”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t know me, darlin’. I’m not the kind of guy you fall for.”
He saw her lips part, heard her soft hiss of air.
“Maybe it’s you, Colton Thorpe, that doesn’t know the first thing about me.”
“What does that mean?” he asked. “And are you crying?”
“No.” She broke free, and took a step back, bumping into the front door. “I’m not crying, but yes, I am frustrated. You frustrate me. You always have.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re... you. Colton Thorpe.” Her smile came and went. “My crush.”
He frowned, confused.
She lifted her shoulders in a small, helpless shrug. “Growing up, I idolized you. Had the worst crush on you. The crush lasted for years, too.”
“I left town at eighteen. You couldn’t have been more than fourteen.”
“Fourteen and about to start high school.”
“And you liked me?”
“Adored you.” Her lips quivered. “Thought you were the most amazing man ever.” She let out a gurgle of embarrassed laughter. “
Even with your horrible reputation. You were such a bad boy. My parents used to talk about you late at night. They’d warn us girls to stay away from you. You were trouble.”
“Trouble,” he repeated.
“Hell on wheels, my dad used to say.” For a moment there was just silence and then she looked at him, a furrow in her brow. “Are you still trouble, Colton Thorpe?”
He didn’t answer for the longest time. And then the corner of his mouth lifted in a small hard smile, a smile that was more bitter than sweet. “Yeah, Princess. I am. I guess that’s what I’ve been trying to say. I’m no good. At least, not for a nice girl like you.”
Colton’s words played over and over in Jenny’s head after he’d climbed back into his truck and driven on home.
He wasn’t good for a nice girl like her.
But maybe they all had it wrong. Maybe she wasn’t a nice girl. Maybe she’d never been a nice girl.
She certainly hadn’t been nice when she’d settled for a marriage that was loveless, passionless.
The question teased her the rest of the afternoon. The question continued to torment her that evening.
She loved every moment she spent with Colton. Loved how he made her feel. Loved the crazy adrenaline in her veins. It was so novel, so exciting. She was humming with emotion and need.
Suddenly she was awake. Aware. Suddenly she felt hungry, wild, fierce.
Life was full of so many possibilities. Anything could happen. Everything could happen. And she wanted everything to happen.
The rational part of her brain knew how this would go. Colton would leave after the rodeo ended and she’d return to Chicago, and she’d look for another job, and become the responsible, orderly executive assistant she used to be. She’d once again suppress her own needs and desires, because dedicated assistants didn’t have needs and desires. No, dedicated assistants had just one goal—and that was to serve. To please.
But she wasn’t in Chicago yet. She was still unemployed, and therefore, free. She could do what she wanted, which meant, try all the things she’d ever tried before. She could be wild now, even wanton.
She could want something for herself. Like pleasure.
She could want touch and sensation and sex. Amazing sex. Shouldn’t a girl have amazing sex once in her life?
Sex would be amazing with Colton. She knew it. She could feel it. Just being around him made her ache. Just being near him made her warm, wet.
Colton was wrong.
She wasn’t a nice girl. She didn’t want to be treated like a nice girl, either. She wanted to be the girl who slept with bad boy Colton Thorpe.
She wanted hot sex, dirty sex, wanted the experience of being with him. Taken by him. However it would be.
But he’s not safe, a little part of her whispered as she turned out the lights, and climbed into bed.
And maybe that’s good, another part of her whispered, as she rolled onto her back to stare up at the dark bedroom ceiling.
Maybe that’s what she needed. Someone like Colton to make her feel. Someone like Colton who was real and physical and carnal and sexual. But no. Not just someone like Colton, Colton Thorpe himself.
She was still awake an hour later. It was nearly midnight but sleep was elusive and she grabbed her phone and impulsively texted him. What if I’m not a nice girl? she typed, hitting SEND before she could change her mind.
Her stomach hurt as she waited for a reply. She prayed he’d reply. And soon.
He did, almost right away..
You don’t want to go there, Princess.
Jenny studied his answer, then replied. Maybe I do.
He texted back right away. Have you been drinking?
No, she answered, I’m in bed. And completely sober. My parents don’t allow alcohol in the house anymore.
Hell, darlin’, I couldn’t focus on anything after the I’m in bed part.
She smiled, blushed, chewed her lip. I’ve been thinking about you all night.
You really do like trouble.
I really do like you.
He didn’t answer for a long time, and Jenny lay there, clutching her phone, wondering what she’d said that was wrong. She’d scared him off, hadn’t she? But then finally her phone vibrated with a new incoming text.
I’m not a rich man, Princess. I get by. I do okay. But it wouldn’t be enough for you.
Jenny read the text once, twice, and dropped her phone, shocked, and horrified.
What?
Eyes stinging, she blinked and made herself read the message again.
I get by. I do okay. But it wouldn’t be enough for you.
She dropped the phone, feeling burned.
He thought she was a gold digger. He thought she was shallow. Superficial.
Oh God, he thought the worst of her.
He and Charles and who knew who else.
Maybe all of Marietta felt that way about her. Jenny Wright, gold digger.
Sickened, Jenny turned her phone off, putting it away for the night.
Colton felt like a shit after sending that text but it needed to be said. After talking to Tricia earlier, and hearing Tricia say that Jenny was fragile and vulnerable right now, and might be looking for a rebound just to help her cope with losing Charles, Colton knew the best thing for them both was to step away.
It was important that he put distance between them now, before he really started to care. As it was, he cared a lot. Maybe too much.
Better to break things off now, cleanly, before either of them got entangled in something that wouldn’t work.
Perhaps he shouldn’t have made the comment about him not having enough for her, but it was true. And he wasn’t just talking about money, he was talking about his life, his emotions, his career.
Colton lived on the road. It was a hard life for a man but it could destroy a woman.
No, better to end it now so they both felt free. Besides, he wasn’t looking for a wife, wasn’t ready to settle down again. And if he ever did marry again, it’d be to a woman who wanted what he wanted—a modest home, kids, a good life based on simple pleasures. He earned decent money on the circuit. Four years ago he’d pulled in a quarter of a million dollars. Two years ago he’d made almost that again, but then handed over half of it to Lisa in the divorce, along with their big Tudor house that she’d had to have. It didn’t take Lisa long to remarry, but Colton had learned his lesson. One couldn’t buy happiness. One couldn’t buy respect, either.
No, next time he fell in love, it’d be with a woman who’d love him for him, not what he had in the bank. She’d laugh at his jokes, and watch stupid shows with him, and then at night, she’d melt for him in bed. They’d cuddle close after sex and talk about their plans and dreams, like the babies they’d make and the places they’d go, and he’d be a rich man, not because of his investments, but because he’d fallen in love with a woman who was truly his best friend.
Chapter Ten
There was no apology text from Colton in the morning.
There was no text at all.
Jenny didn’t hear from him or see him for three days, and the first day she was just mad and hurt.
The second day she was hurt and still mad, but mostly hurt, as she didn’t understand how something good had turned bad so fast.
And then on the third day she just didn’t want to think about him anymore, or feel bad anymore. She’d had enough of feeling bad to last a lifetime so she focused on making plans for her future, which included returning to Chicago to figure out her next step. She wasn’t sure if she would stay there and look for another job in the city, or if she’d return to Marietta, or move somewhere else. But she certainly couldn’t figure out the future sitting in her parents’ living room, so she booked a ticket on Amtrak, leaving from Malta, MT on Monday morning, getting into Chicago the next day.
She bought the cheapest ticket she could, which meant there would be no private sleeping car but it saved her a hundred dollars and her sister Mandy agreed to drive her
to Malta, which was a good four-hour drive each way, but Mandy didn’t work on Mondays at the hair salon and said she was happy to help.
After reserving the train ticket, Jenny and her sisters went to a five-thirty movie at the Palace Theatre and then headed to the Main Street Diner for pie and coffee, which was a long-standing Wright sister tradition.
It wasn’t until they were seated at a wooden table in the middle of the diner that Jenny felt a strange current of energy sweep through her, a sizzling awareness that made her skin prickle and the hair on her nape rise.
She looked up, and there he was, just four tables away. He was with his mother having dinner. He wasn’t looking at her. She wasn’t even sure he’d seen her yet but Jenny didn’t want to stay. She gathered her coat and purse and then saw her sisters looking at her, confused.
“What’s wrong, Jen?” Charity asked.
“What’s going on?” Mandy echoed.
Jenny shook her head, unable to explain. They didn’t know about her dates with Colton and she didn’t want them to know now, not after that last text message he’d sent her.
“I’ve just got a headache,” she said, praying Colton didn’t see them, praying she could avoid speaking with him.
Her mom had been right about him.
Her mom had warned her but Jenny hadn’t listened.
“Food might help,” Charity said.
Mandy nodded in agreement. “Maybe you need some soup. The chicken tortilla soup here is so good, and filling. Try that.”
But Jenny didn’t want pie or soup. She didn’t think she could eat a bite.
She turned her head, glanced in Colton’s direction and discovered he was looking at her.
Her stomach lurched. She flushed hot, then went cold. Jenny stumbled to her feet. “I’m going to get some air,” she said. “I’ll be right back, okay?”
Mandy frowned. “Should we order you something? The soup, maybe?”
Jenny nodded. She would have nodded at anything. She was too desperate to escape.
On the sidewalk outside of the diner, Jenny faced the turn-of-the-century domed courthouse in Crawford Park. Lights were trained on the gothic façade, making the courthouse appear bigger than it really was.
