by K. L. Jessop
“Come on, get up. We’ve got work to be getting on with.”
“Ugh, just five more minutes?”
“No.” I shift from under her and stand as she falls deeper into the bean bag. “You need to add the beauty salon image to the web and write a little piece.”
“All the times I’ve had to wait around for you to want to work, and now you can’t even give me five more minutes?”
“Nope.”
She rolls her eyes. “Such an arse.”
Grabbing her hands, I pull her up and press her against me, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her neck. “The quicker we work, the quicker you get me all to yourself.”
“Yeah, because we are surrounded by people now aren’t we.”
With my playful mood still simmering, I replace my kiss on her neck with my beard and scrub my chin over her skin, causing her to giggle.
“What has gotten into you today?”
“I just like making you happy.”
She squirms underneath my hold to get away, but I decide I want to hear her laugh a little longer and I’m soon rewarded with a deep belly laugh when I give her a full-blown raspberry on the sensitive part of her neck.
“Dexter stop!”
“I don’t think I can. I love your giggle too much.” I do it again, trying to contain my own hysteria, but as she screams through her laugh for me to stop, we are interrupted by a stern voice I don’t recognise.
“Mr Wilson!”
Looking up, I find a thin woman dressed in a trouser suit looking at us, Emmet in his police uniform right beside her. The silence that follows is deafening and their faces alone tell me this visit is official. I instantly don’t like the reception I’m getting from Miss Posh, so I turn my attention to my friend.
“This your new woman, Emmet?”
“Dex, close the gallery. We’re not here to play games.”
“Mr Wilson, I’m Detective Inspector Bromley and this, as you know, is Sergeant Michaels. Do you mind if we go somewhere to talk?” Her response is cold and instantly washes away the good mood I had moments ago.
“Depends what it’s about. And I’ll likely have an alibi anyway.”
“What makes you think you’ll need one?”
“Well, unless you are here to purchase some art?”
“Dex, just close the gallery. This is important.”
Looking at Pepper, I see her face full of concern and suddenly that fucking anxiety is back. Reaching out, I grab her hand, looking back at the two officers. Other than that one time when I was arrested, Emmet has never done official police work with me and by the look on his face, he is hating every minute of this, which puts me on edge even more. “Can Pepper be in on this?”
“Yes.”
“Dexter, what’s going on?” she whispers.
“I don’t know.”
I leave Pepper to close up as I lead the other two upstairs. Meanwhile, I try and think what the fuck it is that I’ve done. The Salon artwork is all legal and other than the graffiti I did of Pepper’s beach picture, I’ve done nothing on any other buildings. Besides, that was fucking weeks ago.
“I’d offer you a coffee but I’m all out of milk.” I’m not, but fuck if she thinks I’m going to make her welcome in my home when she’s standing there scowling as her eyes scan the room. Watching her creates a feeling I’ve not had the pleasure of experiencing in a while, which only pisses me off more because she’s inflicted negativity into a place I was starting to feel positive about.
“I can give you a tour if you’d like?” I can’t help but bite.
She snaps her eyes at me, her back dead straight. “No need.”
I look at Emmet and he shakes his head, telling me with a warning to control the shit that’s starting to rage through my body. The silence is driving me crazy. The tension between myself and Emmet is something I’ve never felt before, even after all the times I’ve pushed him to his limits.
It’s a clear case of good cop bad cop—Bromley being the one who is bringing a bad fucking vibe. I can’t stand it.
It all goes back to the uncertainty I’ve felt recently. My body telling me that something is wrong, and now my gut is telling me it’s all about to bite me on the arse with whatever comes out of her mouth.
I just know it is.
Panic now clutches me as Pepper enters the room. I don’t know what’s going on, but I already feel like I’ve lost a battle and the fear of losing her weighs heavy. I can’t lose her. I just can’t.
Breathe you fucking idiot.
I’m reaching out for her before she’s even near, my sixth sense telling me to have her close. “So what’s going on? And make it quick, I’m a busy man.”
“Take a seat,” Bromley orders.
“I’ll stand thanks.” The look she cuts me is vile and this vibe I’m getting now messes with my attitude all the more. They may not be here to play games or accuse but I will not be made to feel unwelcome in my own home.
“Mr Wilson, my team have recently been investigating a man named Kosma Volkova. He—”
“Never heard of him.”
“He and a number of men who work for him within the London borough have been on our radar for some time.”
“As I said, I’ve never heard of him.”
“Dex, Kosma Volkova also goes by the name of Clyro.”
My stomach drops and my back straightens. I don’t understand why his name has cropped up now when she’s been dead for god knows how long. “What about him?” I ask Emmet but it’s Bromley that carries on.
“Are you aware of him, Mr Wilson?”
I sigh. “Couldn’t tell you what he looks like as I never met him, but he supplied my mother with drugs and no doubt dug her grave for her, too. Your point in all of this?”
“Multiple raids took place in the early hours of Thursday morning where thousands of pounds worth of drugs and weapons where uncovered.”
“I’m sorry, what’s this got to do with Dexter?” Pepper adds. I’m pissed that Bromley’s going around in circles here when all she has to do is just spit out the fucking question. Why is it you get some coppers that tell it straight and others pussy around trying to make themselves look good in the process?
“So you found him. Good job. But if I’m being accused of anything here then can you please cut to the chase.”
“Mr Wilson, no one is accusing you of anything.”
This only infuriates me more. “So you’ve just come here to rake up my past by telling me the man that ruined my family has—”
“We found her, Dex,” Emmet cuts in. “Tessa. We’ve found her.”
Every ounce of blood feels like it’s left my body along with the air in my lungs. My heart rate thunders against my chest, rattling my ribcage as a rush of hot and cold tingles race down my spine. I try and hold myself steady, my temples throbbing as white noise fills my surroundings.
My Tessa.
I did not just hear those words. He never spoke those words.
I’ve been living in this fantasy world for too long, thinking that one day she will come back into my life, and as much as I’ve wanted it, I’ve known it would never happen. It’s never going to happen. She’s been gone for too long.
“Dex?”
“Dexter, baby. It’s okay.” Pepper’s touch does nothing to soothe me, and as she tries to make me find her. I pull away, trying to get my head around the sudden one-eighty.
It’s not. This is not okay. This is some sick joke—a way of seeing how hard I fall when I’ve done nothing but try and stay above the water when I’ve felt like drowning. It’s a test.
The devil is testing me.
They’re all testing me.
I need a fucking drink.
But then, from the depths of my twisted chaos, I find Emmet's eyes and I know without question that he wouldn’t do this to me. He wouldn’t lie.
But the look on his face breaks me. There is no smile. There is no happiness, there is nothing but sorrow and it makes my
body swirl with acid.
As I close my eyes, I’m back there and the remembrance is as viscous as ever. I hear Tessa’s cry. I feel starvation deep in my stomach. I smell the vile stench of our clothes. I see my mother’s frail body laid out on the floor, her eyes rolled back as she falls into a drug-filled coma—a drug from a man that had the power to change everything. And now…
Clyro snatched her?
Oh, God. No.
Not my beautiful Tessa.
The ball in the back of my throat tightens, and I’m shaking my head before anyone says anything else, already knowing of the fate that’s about to come out of his mouth.
“No,” I whisper, stepping back from my girl who’s trying to comfort me as tears now burn my eyes the longer Emmet looks at me with sorrow in his.
“No. Please… don’t tell me I’ve lost her.”
My body trembles with the word he’s yet to say—the words I want as they will bring closure but words that will tear me apart like never before.
I can’t breathe.
Everything hurts.
Everything is numb.
I can’t lose her all over again.
But then he says the three words that have me falling to my knees and breaking completely. “She’s alive, Dex.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Pepper
Dexter’s heavy weight hits the floor and the deep sob that leaves his now fragile body rips tears from my own. Saying her name over and over like a calling, he lets out over a decade of suffocating pain as silence filters around the rest of us.
I want to hold him because it breaks my heart to see him so distraught, but a part of me knows he needs to release the deep anguish he’s had to carry. He needs this moment as he comes to terms with the fact that Tessa is still alive when he had given up all hope of ever seeing her again.
With my own relief from this blow comes a fear I can’t understand, and it has me going to my man in a need to hold him close as he continues to break.
Kneeling down beside him, I keep my voice low as I stroke his hair. “I’m here, Dexter. I’m right here.”
The longer Emmet and Bromley sit there, the bigger the anxiety builds. A trepidation that also falls from Emmet in waves as he, too, tries to hold it together.
I praise him for his composure. I praise him for his undeniable friendship. But hidden in the depths of his warm eyes is a dread looking back at me that I don’t like witnessing.
Covering Dexter’s ears so he can’t hear my questions, I glance at them both. “Emmet?” I ask softly. “She’s alive but is she okay?”
His eyes tell me everything he doesn’t say and as he shakes his head, a tear escapes him. “Tessa is currently in hospital to evaluate her state of mind,” Bromley answers, her stern attitude from earlier somehow softened.
“Is she in any trouble with the police?”
“No,” Emmet replies, wiping his tears to compose himself again. “Nothing that can’t be sorted. Nor does it appear that she’s an addict either.”
“But she’s not okay.” I turn back to Dexter and try to comfort him as his body begins to calm.
“Blue…”
“I’m here.” I shift myself so I’m in front of him. The heat from his body radiates against mine as I feel his heart racing through his chest. Finding his eyes, I wipe his falling tears away with my thumbs as my own still fall. “Find me when you’re ready.”
“Please tell me this isn’t a dream,” he whispers. The pain in his eyes is unbearable. I don’t see my Dexter. I don’t see the devil. I see the young boy at the roadside when everything was taken from him. He looks so scared.
“You’re not dreaming, baby. Tessa’s alive.”
His lip quivers and his eyes close. The frailty from him shreds my heart.
“I don’t think I’m strong enough for this.”
“Look at me, Dexter,” I grip his jaw harder as he finds me, our little embrace shutting everyone else out as I give him the strength he needs. “You can do this. You are stronger than you know and braver than you believe you are. You can do this. This is what you’ve been waiting for."
"But I've wanted this for so long that a part of me believed I would never get it again and now… I'm unsure if I want it at all."
He slams his eyes shut, and his body begins to tense. He’s fighting with himself and it’s a war that he can’t go head to head with right now.
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on in this head of yours.”
Resting his forehead on mine, he whispers. “I suddenly don’t feel like I have any control. What if I can’t deal with this? Look at me now. What if I’ve got her back but she doesn’t want me? What if I lose her all over again? I’m scared, Pepper.”
“Listen to me. Don’t think about the what ifs right now. No matter what Tessa has been through, you need to remain strong for you and you alone before anything else. You’ve come too far to fall, you hear me? But as far as Tessa is concerned, you don’t have to do this on your own. You have me and Emmet. And if at any point you feel like you are falling, we’ll be right beside you. I’ll be right beside you.”
“Promise?”
“Yes. I love you, Dexter. This is us remember. We keep each other up. Don’t give up your fight because this has knocked you back okay?”
He nods, another tear falling. “Okay. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologise. You’re in shock and that’s okay.” I rest my forehead against his and whisper. “This is what you wanted, baby.”
“Mr Wilson, are you ready to talk some more?”
I try and give him as much encouragement as I can because I know there is still more to this. But as much as I try and give it to him, my insides are all over the place in anticipation of what other information they are about to divulge.
“Are you ready to listen to what they have to say.”
He sniffs back his tears and nods, quietly adding. “I don’t like that woman.”
I can’t help the little chuckle that escapes me. I totally get it. “Someone has to be the firm one in all of this. Come on, I’m right here with you.”
As we stand, Emmet comes over to us both, handing me two glasses of Jack Daniels as he grabs Dexter. The two men hold each other in a hug that has Dexter breaking down once again as Emmet talks to him, telling him everything will be alright; telling him he loves him...
Looking over at Bromley who is now walking around, I see her harden exterior is now gone. She smiles softly.
“This has been a long time coming for Dexter. His life hasn’t been the same since Tessa was taken.”
“Believe it or not, I do understand. But I’m also here to do my job.”
“I know. Can I get you anything?” I ask.
She shakes her head and waves me off as Dexter comes over to the sofa, sitting down.
I hand him his drink and sit beside him, his body still trembling.
“Sorry, guys. I just wasn’t expecting that.”
“Don’t apologise, Mr Wilson. I understand it’s come as quite a shock. And if I’m honest with you, finding your sister came as a shock to us all. My officers had no idea the scale of the house raid when they first entered. We found numerous people that were not even on our radar. Tessa being one of them.”
“How do you know it’s her? Like she’s been missing for years and I’ve no pictures. She was just a child when she was taken. How do you know it’s Tessa?”
Both Emmet and Bromley exchange a glance.
“It was me that found her, Dex,” Emmet says quietly, a soft smile forming. “At first, I wasn’t sure but the more I looked, the more I knew. And not many people have a heart-shaped birthmark either.”
“It’s really her?”
“Yes. And she’s like everything you’ve pictured her to be.”
I rub Dexter’s back, trying to ease him as he takes in the news. His face is so pale, his breathing shallow, but confusion suddenly clouds his face.
“I don’t understand… Why was
she with Clyro or whatever the fuck his name is now?”
They glance at each other again, and this time I can understand why Dexter got so worked up before because just their little side looks get me all frustrated.
This time, it’s Bromley who talks. “That’s something we are still trying to establish. However, from the information we have on Kosma Volkova, it’s clear that women are his treasure. A drug lord’s golden ticket. If he was your mother’s supplier, chances are she was in debt. And a man like Volkova will take girls over money and use them to his advantage.”
Oh God no.
“She sold her own daughter to equalise her debt?” I whisper in horror. How could anyone do such a thing?
I feel Dexter tense before he’s out of his seat, knocking back his drink before pouring himself another and pacing the floor. I can see he’s trying to control his anger, so I don’t go to him. It’s not the time to try and be beside him right now. He knows I’m close, I can sense it from him, but I know he needs this moment to compose himself.
“Mum got deeper into drugs after Tessa was born. It all makes sense now. She could get high as much as she fucking liked because she knew her debt would be paid. Fucking bitch.” He stops and turns to all of us, pure venom in his eyes as he grits out his words through his teeth. “She ripped us apart and didn’t give two shits about the consequences or what our lives would be like after. What vile disgrace of a fucking human does that!”
“As much as I don’t want to defend your mother, Mr Wilson, addiction is an illness.”
“That doesn’t make it right!” he shouts.
“Dex, lower the tone.” Emmet takes a step towards him and they exchange a look, Emmet's eyes full of warning.
With a heavy sigh, Dexter turns towards DI Bromley. “I’m sorry. I just can’t get my head around this.”
“It’s understandable. It’s quite a shock.”
While Dexter is still trying to come to terms with all of this, he’s failed to ask the all important question that I know will be on the tip of his tongue—a question he’ll be trying to run from even though I know he won’t want to either. So, I ask it for him.
