His blue eyes darkened, his eyelids dropping slightly. “Yes.” His voice was husky with an unnamed emotion, that one word seeming to caress her skin.
“We used to talk about it.” She glanced down at the desk, watched her finger trace the blotter. “I’ve always wanted four.”
Pushing away from the wall, he crossed the room and perched on the edge of the desk, his jeans pulling taut against his hard-muscled thighs. “That’s a nice round number. But I like six better.”
A tingle of anticipation sparked through her. “You’d need a bigger house.” She watched his face carefully, tracing every line with her gaze, desperately trying to read his thoughts. “Do you think our marriage will survive that long?”
“Darlin’, I have no intention of getting a divorce. Those vows that say ‘till death us do part’ are what marriage is all about. Once you say the words, there’ll be no backing out.”
A lifetime with Jace. The thought terrified her, exhilarated her.
“But can we remain married without love?”
“I’d say we have a better chance than most. Love only complicates a marriage.”
A stab of pain pierced her heart. He’d made it plain from the beginning that he didn’t love her. And she certainly didn’t love him, couldn’t love him, after what he’d done.
“How do you feel about a working wife?”
It was very subtle, but he tensed. “My wife won’t need to work. You won’t need to work.”
“But what if I want to work?”
“You won’t have time for that. I’ll keep you plenty busy.”
She leaned forward in the chair, slowly starting to understand how a caged animal felt. “So after the wedding, I’ll have no life of my own?”
Jace gave a low growl of frustration. “I don’t want you working full-time. You’d come home exhausted every night, thinking about work. I’d have to worry about you driving into Jackson every day, rain or shine.”
“Your concern is touching. But for some reason, I don’t think you’re motivated by any worries for me.”
“Danielle.” His voice was flat with enforced patience. “I take care of what’s mine. After we’re married, you’ll be mine. And I won’t see you hurt in any way.”
He’d take care of her physical needs masterfully, but what about her emotional needs? “I can’t just rattle around the house all day.”
“I always need help. You can do the paperwork for the ranch or something.” Hesitating, he seemed to be considering his words carefully. “Besides, once we have children, I hope you’ll want to stay home to take care of them.”
A surge of heat washed over her. Jace’s children. Their children. “Fine. I’ll work until we have children. But I won’t sit around and twiddle my thumbs all day waiting for you to finish your work.”
“Then I’ll just have to make certain you get pregnant right away.”
The words hovered between them.
Danielle stared at the desk and struggled with her emotions. He was moving too fast, binding her to him too thoroughly. The moment she said, “I do,” she would never escape him.
“Are you using birth control now?”
Danielle struggled to control the heat flushing her cheeks. “There hasn’t been a need.”
“No boyfriends back in Denver?”
The heat flared to anger. “Well, yes. As a matter of fact, I have three waiting for me to return. I told them I needed a few weeks to settle the wedding details, then we could go back to our wild parties.”
“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, Dani.”
He leaned across the desk, stroked a finger down her cheek and traced a path to the neckline of her sweater. He caught the gold chain, straightening it
“Don’t use any protection after the wedding. Let’s allow nature to take its course.”
She couldn’t seem to draw a breath. His finger teased the base of her neck.
They’d talked of the honeymoon, he’d tempted her with thoughts of sleeping together, of sharing their bodies. But putting that sharing in the context of producing a child added a whole new depth to her feelings.
Warmth pooled deep in her stomach and she couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel to have a child growing there. Involuntarily, she placed a hand over her womb, an age-old, protective gesture.
His hand joined hers. “Our child, Danielle. A little spitfire with your eyes.” His voice dropped to a sexy growl. “I can’t wait to see you pregnant, to watch the changes in your body. And I can’t wait to hold our baby.” He watched her, his blue eyes intent. “You’d look beautiful with our baby nursing at your breast.”
A mass of confused emotions flowed through her. His words made her feel loved, special, needed. And she wanted him, wanted him to love her. But she was so afraid her heart would get involved. If that happened, she would be handing him the ability to destroy her. Yet his words and actions made her feel like he truly loved her.
Confusion pulled at her, tangled her thoughts. Otherwise, she’d never have had the courage to ask him about the past. “Jace, what happened between us? What went so wrong?”
He stiffened, gathered the warmth he was radiating toward her and sealed himself off from her again. “I believe your father told you the entire story. I don’t need to tell it again.”
“I’d like to hear your side.”
He didn’t answer.
“Jace, I wanted to believe in you.”
His jaw tightened. “What happened to trust? When a man and a woman plan to get married, they have to share a certain level of trust.”
She cringed at his bitter tone, the old doubts rising to the surface again. “I didn’t want to doubt you. But my father had proof.”
“And it never occurred to you to ask me about my side of things?”
Her guilt blossomed. “I tried to call. You wouldn’t answer your phone.”
“You didn’t try hard enough.”
“So I was supposed to chase you all over Wyoming, begging you for answers?” Her laugh was cold, bitter. “I don’t think so.”
“Besides, Daddy is always right, isn’t he?”
“Don’t drag my father into this. He’s a good man.”
“Ah, yes. The paragon. The perfect father, the perfect businessman. Life has just handed him a raw deal and he needs to sell off his precious daughter to survive.”
Danielle jumped up and slammed her hands on the desktop. “Don’t talk about my father that way.”
The muscles in his jaw knotted.
“My father has always been there for me. It’s time for me to pay him back. And I don’t mind making the sacrifice.”
“I’m so glad to know that my bride-to-be is such a martyr. And how convenient that you won’t require my love.”
“Any chance I had of falling in love was destroyed eleven years ago.”
“By your father.”
“No, Jace. By you.”
Tension pulsed between them.
The phone rang, shattering the strain in the room. Jace grabbed the receiver and barked out a greeting. His focus shifted and she could almost feel him pulling away from her.
“I’ll be right there.” The receiver landed in the cradle and Jace stood. Just when she thought he’d leave without a word, he turned. “One of my men has been hurt. I need to find a way to get him to the hospital. If we have to, we’ll take him to the road on a snowmobile.”
“You can’t go out in this weather. It’s too dangerous.”
“Careful, Dani girl. Someone might think you care.”
He leaned in for a quick, hard kiss, then stalked out the door.
Danielle followed him through the kitchen, pulling the curtain aside to watch him struggle through the deep snow. His sheepskin coat made his shoulders look broader than usual and she wondered if they were really strong enough to carry the weight of everyone’s problems. Jace had always been completely self-contained, never seeming to need anyone else.
Including her.
When he returned, she would ask him again. She’d never heard his explanation of why he’d taken the money from her father. She’d been hurt too badly to ask questions. Being the daughter of a wealthy man all her life, she knew all too well how the game was played. The family fortune had haunted her through her teenage years.
But she’d believed Jace was different. Yes, all those years ago, he had needed money, desperately. They’d plotted and schemed on ways to save the ranch. But they’d been determined to do it together, without her father’s help.
She could still remember the day it all fell apart. The pain of betrayal was as sharp now as ever. Dropping the curtain, Danielle warmed herself a cup of coffee, hoping to chase away the chill shadowing her heart.
She’d been at a fund-raising luncheon, had come home for a quick change of clothing, rushing to make an afternoon meeting. As she drove up, Jace’s pickup was just leaving, turning the corner at the end of their block.
She’d never had premonitions before or since. But she had one then. She’d known something was terribly wrong. And her heart had started weeping before she’d even entered the house.
Her father had been waiting for her, all solicitous sympathy. He’d led her into his study, sat her down and held her hands. Then he’d quietly explained that Jace had accepted a large check in return for leaving Danielle alone.
It had been a test of Jace’s love, her father explained. He didn’t want his little girl to be hurt, so he had to be certain the man really loved her, not her money. But when Jace gladly accepted the check, Danielle’s father had all the proof he needed.
She didn’t want to believe her first love could betray her like that, but her father had the check carbon-and Jace’s signature was at the bottom.
Her love had been worth only fifty thousand dollars.
And suddenly, horribly, certain things made sense.
Jace had never told her he loved her. Even though she said the words often, he just smiled and used her declaration as an excuse to make love. Of course, they’d used everything as an excuse to make love.
But she’d known she would never feel his hands on her skin again. He’d betrayed her heart, abused her love. And she couldn’t forgive that.
Gently, Danielle’s father urged his daughter to leave the area for a while. Numb with grief, Danielle had let him lead her upstairs where a maid was called to pack her bags. The sun hadn’t even settled in the horizon before Danielle was on her way to Denver to stay with an aunt.
When Danielle finally crawled out of the emotional hole she’d dug, she realized she’d have to make a new life for herself. First, she’d asked to join her father in the business. He’d hedged, said she wasn’t qualified. So she’d enrolled in college and worked hard to earn her degree in business. Again, her father refused her help, saying she didn’t have the experience.
Determined to prove herself to him and to the rest of the world, she found a job in Denver and proceeded to work her way up the corporate ladder. If she couldn’t have the marriage and family she’d always wanted, she would find satisfaction in her work. And she’d actually managed to convince herself she was happy, spending little time analyzing her life.
Then her father had called, all but begging for her help. And Danielle had realized just how cold and lonely she truly was.
But now, she had to wonder. With Jace gone, something vital had left the house. Once again, she was alone, with only the sound of the mournful wind to keep her company. There was a huge danger in allowing him to be that important in her life.
Danielle spent the afternoon prowling the house, lost in doubts and memories. Only time would tell if she was doing the right thing. She couldn’t see any other choice. To let her father lose the business would kill him. He was the only constant in her life, the one person who had always been there to help her pick up the pieces.
She lightly touched the necklace at her throat. The debt she owed him might never be repaid. He’d been her rock for too long for her to turn her back on him now.
When she heard the door open again, darkness had settled over the ranch. Jace shook off a shower of snow and shut out the night. With a tired sigh, he leaned against the frame, watching her through half-closed eyes, his hat shadowing his expression. Then he pulled off his gloves, his gaze never wavering. “I could get used to this.”
Nerves fluttered through her when she reminded herself that she would ask him about that fateful day-tonight.
She offered Jace a slight smile, desperately needing to make an effort to lighten the mood between them. “Aren’t you supposed to say, ‘Hi, honey, I’m home.’ or something like that?”
He pushed away from the door and unbuttoned his coat. “Hi, honey, I’m home.” He waited. “Don’t I get a kiss?”
She licked her lips, wanting his touch more than she was willing to admit. Shrugging her doubts aside, she crossed to him. An icy chill radiated from him and she shivered when she placed her hands on his chest. Stretching upward, she pressed her mouth against his cold lips.
“Is everything okay?” The question sounded forced, but it helped her feel like there was hope for their future.
As the afternoon had dragged toward the end, she’d made a private vow to be a good wife, no matter what. If Jace would meet her halfway, they could share a satisfying life.
His arms closed around her, crushing her against his length. He tipped his head to avoid hitting her with his hat brim, then ravaged her mouth. “A lot better now.”
Danielle. struggled to regain her equilibrium. Once again, he’d swamped her senses, made her lose all notion of right and wrong. Even the cold from his clothing couldn’t quell the heat he’d ignited deep inside her.
She forced herself to step away. “Is your hired hand okay?”
Jace nodded as he hung up his coat. “We got him to the ambulance and I checked on him before I came in. He’ll be fine.”
She struggled for more words to fill the room. “I’ve already eaten. Can I fix you something?”
He shook his head. “I ate with the guys in the bunkhouse. I figured you’d be tired.”
Start off as you intend to proceed. The words echoed through her mind. She refused to spend every evening by herself, only sharing his company as he chose to dole it out. “I hope you don’t plan to make a habit of that.” She winced inwardly. Her voice sounded waspish, complaining.
He caught her arm as she started to turn away. Reeling her in slowly, he tugged her closer, so close the snow from his boots puddled onto her nylon-clad feet.
When his mouth was just inches away from hers, he spoke. “I don’t. I just didn’t want to impose on you tonight. There’ll be time enough for us to settle into a routine. A lifetime.” He sealed that promise with a soft touch of his mouth to hers.
Her heart melted, puddling like the water on the floor, and she leaned closer, wanting, needing, more.
“Come sit by the fire with me.”
She could only nod her agreement.
“Some hot coffee would taste good. Make some?”
Again, she nodded.
Her hands shook as she struggled to measure out the coffee grounds. After spilling half of them on the countertop, she set down the measure and inhaled deeply.
All right, she would admit it. She was scared, terrified. The past few minutes had shown her how wonderful their marriage could be. What she was about to ask Jace could change everything, for better or for worse.
Danielle didn’t know which terrified her more.
If things worsened between them, her marriage would be a living torment. If their relationship improved, she would give her heart to him again. Only Jace held the ability to destroy her love-and her along with it.
A gentle hand settled on her shoulder, another one covered her hand resting beside the coffee measure. “Are you okay?”
Not wanting him to question her further, she forced her eyes open, willing herself to concentrate, and glued a smile to her lips. “I’m fine. You were right. I am
tired. Must be the weather.” He stood nearby as she finished her task. When the coffee-maker was gurgling, she urged him from the kitchen. “Why don’t you start a fire, get warm, and I’ll bring the coffee in a minute.”
He stared at her, hard, then turned and walked away.
She begged silently for the strength to hide her fears from him. They couldn’t go on until they’d resolved the past. Deep in her heart, she knew that. But it was tempting to simply sweep it under the rug and try to forget about it.
She laughed softly. She’d been trying to forget for over a decade. And now, she had a daily reminder sharing the house with her. It would be impossible to overlook their shared history under those conditions.
She poured the coffee and followed Jace. He was hunched in front of the fireplace, feeding kindling into the flames. As she handed him one mug, their fingers brushed. Silently, she pleaded for his understanding. Nerves stretched taut, she retreated to the couch and curled up, snagging a pillow to cuddle.
When he glanced over his shoulder, he looked at the pillow, then met her gaze, a question in his eyes.
She looked away rather than try to explain how alone she felt. The fire snapped, pulling her from her thoughts. She would’ve liked to ease into the discussion, bring it gently around to the painful part, but she didn’t know how.
“Tell me, Jace. What really happened that day with my father?”
This time, he didn’t stiffen. He stared into the fledgling flames and she wondered if he’d answer her at all.
Finally, he spoke. “What does it matter? You made your decision years ago. I doubt anything I have to say now will change that.”
He wasn’t going to make this easy. “I wanted to believe in you so badly.”
“Apparently not badly enough.”
Her heart twisted. “I loved you.”
“But you didn’t believe in me.”
Those words stabbed her conscience. She’d tried so hard, but the evidence had been overwhelming.
The wind moaned outside, reminding her just how cold she felt inside. Clutching the coffee mug, she tried to absorb its warmth. “You never once said you loved me.”
The Cowboy Proposes... Marriage? Page 7
