Swallowing hard, Honor averted her gaze. “It doesn’t matter, Harmony. I can’t offer Zeke or any other man what they’d eventually want from me. I just… I can’t. When I remember what happened all those years ago,” she began tightly. “My skin crawls, Harmony. The idea of a man touching me… even a good man… I can’t handle it. I wanna claw off my skin,” she whispered, unconsciously scratching her arms.
“Hey,” Harmony murmured, leaning forward to cover Honor’s nervous hand before it could do any damage. “Zeke is not one of those awful animals that hurt you. He’s the man that sat with you every single day after you were hurt and read to you. He’s the guy that slept on the couch for three months because it’s the only way you could sleep… with him there. And that man is waiting for you, Honor,” Harmony pointed out gently. “With Zeke, you’d be safe – he’d never hurt you and he’d kill anybody else that tried.”
“Harmony, I love you, but I really don’t wanna discuss this for the umpteenth time. I’ve told him to move on… to find someone else to focus his attention on,” Honor replied huskily, before she added bitterly, “He won’t.”
“I know. He’s never going to, either. It’s you or nothing for him,” Harmony said, watching as Honor began to rub her temples. “You feel another headache coming on, don’t you?”
“I’m fine,” Honor managed tightly, staring out the window. “I just wish… I wish things could be different, but they’re not. Besides, you need to stop worrying about me and focus your attention on that man of yours. Whether intentional or not, I know Zeke made you nervous, Harmony.”
“I’ve been nervous all along, Sis. Zeke’s right. I don’t know very much at all about Jake. Seriously, he could be an axe murderer for all I know.”
Laughing, Honor shook her head. “I think your head is safe from the axe, Harmony.”
“Yeah, but what about my heart?” she muttered. “You think that’s safe, too?”
“I think that like most of us, Jake has a past. He didn’t get to be the age he is without accumulating one. I’m sure he’ll share when he’s ready. Give him time. You know that most men make me anxious, honey, but Jake doesn’t. He’s solid. He might be a mystery, but I suspect he’ll let you solve it if you give him a chance.”
“You like him,” Harmony surmised with a slight smile. “He’s somehow gotten the Honor seal of approval.”
“I do like him.” Honor nodded. “The way he looks at you… that’s the way Momma and Daddy wanted a man to look at you, Harmony. They’d be pleased with him, I think.”
Harmony blinked back tears. “You really think so?”
“I really do, and I think they’d be happy for you and Heaven.”
“Okay, now you’re gonna make me cry,” Harmony warned as her nose started to burn. “Happy tears, but I really don’t wanna explain them to Zeke when he gets back,” she added with a shaky laugh.
Returning her smile, Honor clutched Harmony’s hand. “I want you to be happy, big sister. I want you to be happy enough for both of us. Jake is your second chance at that. Don’t let your past have control of your future.”
“Honor, honey, you need to listen to your own advice. I promise, I will try, but you need to start thinking about taking your first chance. You didn’t die that night everything went to hell. Neither of us did. It took me a long time to realize that, but we didn’t,” Harmony countered, squeezing her sister’s fingers. “Promise me that you’ll at least entertain the notion of looking at Zeke as something other than a thorn that got buried in your side.”
Honor huffed self-defensively. “Do you know how hard that man makes it for me to like him? He’s a domineering, dictatorial pain in my rear end. He’s not happy unless he’s tellin’ me what to do.”
“I know how hard you try to convince yourself you feel like that, but I also know that when things were the worst, only one person made your nightmares stop …. one human being on Earth brought you peace, little sister. It wasn’t me or Patience or Faith. It wasn’t even Aunt Orla or Uncle Jethro. It was him,” Harmony said with a nod to where Zeke now stood outside, locking his front door.
Following Harmony’s gaze, Honor’s face softened for a brief instant. “I’m not good enough for him,” she whispered.
“You’re wrong. You’re better than all of us combined, Honor,” Harmony replied gently. “Most importantly, you’re everything to him.”
“You’re still a romantic after everything you’ve been through,” Honor murmured as the Sheriff walked toward them.
“And you’re not as hopeless as you wanna believe you are,” Harmony said with a gentle smile. “But don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret. For now. And in the meantime, I’m gonna hold out hope that each one of us McKinnon girls gets the man we deserve.”
This time when Honor looked over her shoulder, it was her eyes glimmering with tears. “You’re happy. Really, truly happy.”
“I think I am,” Harmony whispered as thoughts and images of Jake and Heaven played through her mind like a movie reel on fast forward. Jake swinging Heaven on her swing set. Heaven grinning proudly up at Jake after she’d caught her first fish at the pond at the back of the McKinnon homestead. Jake’s serene face when Heaven fell asleep against his chest. Jake’s smile when she’d excitedly informed him that she’d booked six more weddings in the next three months. His eyes, dazed and happy, after she’d made him come. Yeah, she could safely say she was happy.
“Then you hang onto happy, Harmony. No matter how hard it gets or how scared you are by what you feel. You hang on tight to it,” Honor demanded before turning back around to face the front of the car.
Hang onto happy, Harmony thought. She could do that.
At least, she hoped she could.
Chapter Twenty
Frowning down the long gravel driveway that led to the main road as he stirred the charcoal inside the grill, Jacob reminded himself for the third time in ten minutes that Harmony wasn’t a child. She’d lived in Paradise all her life and she was with her sister and the Sheriff, for God’s sake. He couldn’t help feeling like something was off, however.
He quickly glanced to where Heaven sat on her swing set being pushed by her Uncle Cain while her Aunt Faith lounged in a lawn chair talking to her Aunt Orla and Cain’s father. By the laughter falling from her lips and her feet kicking freely in the air as she went higher and higher, she was having a blast and was obviously just fine.
If it hadn’t been for that damned text his old partner, Luis, had sent him last night, this would be a near perfect day. Unfortunately, the message he’d received indicated that those wonderful days he’d been experiencing lately were nearing an end. At least temporarily. It was another fucking thing that he needed to talk to Zeke about...whenever the hell the other man decided to bring his woman back, he thought irritably.
He hadn’t realized that he was scowling at the road again until he heard Patience’s low, throaty laugh behind him. Glancing over his shoulder at the slender woman, her now violet locks blowing under the slight breeze, he rolled his eyes.
“Caught ya lookin’. Again. She’s fine, you know. She’s with Honor and Zeke. She couldn’t be safer.” Patience grinned as she handed him a package of hot dogs. “Heaven likes her dogs,” she explained when he merely stared at the Oscar Meyer wieners in her hand.
“I know she’s fine. I just thought Harmony and Honor would be here by now,” he muttered, stirring the glowing coals before taking the package from her.
Reaching into the metal tub that he’d used as a makeshift cooler for their beers and colas, Patience smirked at him. “You are sooo not what I expected for my sister,” she remarked, twisting off the cap on her longneck and shooting it toward the trashcan with a practiced hand before taking a long pull off the lip of the bottle.
Tossing a half dozen hot dogs on the metal grill, Jake raised an eyebrow at the pretty woman. Patience was thin and petite like her other sisters, but she carried a wariness in her deep blue eyes, a world-weary sadnes
s that no amount of makeup concealed. “That so?” he asked her, mildly interested to hear her take on him. Of all the McKinnon girls, Patience was the straightest shooter, and it was no secret that she was jaded. He had no idea why, and honestly, he was a guy that minded his own business. She loved Harmony and Harmony loved her. For that alone, he wanted to stay on her good side.
Hell, he’d even go as far as to say he liked her. A lot. Patience said what she thought and meant what she said, and woe be unto the son of a bitch that crossed her. He’d seen her bring many a man to his knees with that barbed tongue of hers. She might look as sweet as spun sugar, but when a guy pissed her off, all that sweet could turn sour on a dime. He could definitely respect a woman that had that kind of self-assurance.
Swallowing her beer, she nodded. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Jake, but a guy that is badass-scary biker-cool isn’t exactly who I imagined Harmony getting involved with. Can’t deny that it seems to be working out for her though. Bonus is that my niece also seems happy,” she noted, tipping the bottle toward a giggling Heaven.
“They’re both easy girls to…” he trailed off, frowning as he realized what he’d been going to say. He’d be damned if he admitted that he loved Harmony and Heaven aloud to Patience before he’d told them. Christ, he really needed to get a handle on this shit.
“Love, Jake. I think the word you dropped there was love, wasn’t it?” Patience asked with a coy smile.
“I care deeply about them both, Spitfire. Don’t push your luck,” he growled, using the nickname he’d been using for her since he watched her wrestle a drunk frat boy to the ground a couple of weeks ago before either he, Abel or Zeke had been able to intercept her. She’d taken the poor bastard out with a pool cue and a bad attitude after the dick had fondled one waitress too many under her watchful eye.
Snorting, Patience rolled her eyes and took another deep sip of her beer. “Uh huh,” she grunted. “You know, she likes you, too, Biker Boy. So much so that after church my oldest sister asked me if I’d keep Heaven overnight at my place tonight,” she added, wriggling her eyebrows suggestively. “I do believe that tonight’s the night she’s gonna make it happen with you.”
Jake choked on his own beer as the little imp laughed at him. “Pardon?” he coughed, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand as he stared at Patience with dazed eyes.
“Oh, you need me to be clearer?” Patience asked with raised eyebrows. She hummed, tapping her pink lips with one finger as she pretended to think it over. “Okay, I think I can put it in terms you’ll understand. Jake, I do believe that Harmony’s finally ready to meet your great big pet snake.”
Of course at that moment, they would have company. “Jake!” Heaven yelled excitedly. “You gotta pet snake? I wanna see it! Lemmee see!” she shouted, barreling toward him.
“I may have to kill you,” Jake hissed through his teeth at Patience as the woman burst into laughter. Turning his attention to the little girl wrapped around his legs, he smiled. “I don’t have a snake, sugar. Aunt Patience was…”
“…talkin’ ‘bout the snake in the grass that Uncle Abel is, lovebug,” Patience said, saving Jake a potentially embarrassing conversation with her niece. “You know how I think he’s a slimy, cold-blooded nasty old snake.”
“Aunt Patience, you’s mean to Unca Abel. I think he’s nice,” Heaven informed her aunt with a stern look. “He not a snake.”
“You’re right. He’s….” Patience began.
“He’s standing right here,” Abel announced, interrupting them as he stood behind her with hands propped on his jean clad hips. “Thank you for defending my honor, Princess,” he said with a wink at Heaven. “I’m glad somebody appreciates my finer qualities.”
“I’d appreciate your finer qualities if you had any, asshole,” Patience retorted under her breath, keeping her voice low so Heaven didn’t hear as she glared at Abel over her shoulder. “I’d forgotten how good attorneys are at insinuating themselves into things that aren’t any of their business.”
Ignoring the grown-ups, Heaven lifted wide eyes to Jake. “Well, if you don’t got a snake, can we get ya a puppy? I love puppies!”
Bending, Jake dropped a kiss against Heaven’s warm forehead. “I like puppies, too, sweetheart. Let me talk to Momma about it and we’ll revisit the idea later, all right?”
“’Kay!” Heaven said with a happy nod. “Can I go jump on the tram’line?” she asked hopefully, pointing toward the trampoline Jake had bought for her when he’d gotten the swing set. “P’ease!”
“I’ll watch her,” Abel offered, holding out his hand to Heaven, ignoring the scathing look Patience focused on him.
Watching the interplay between the couple, Jake resisted the urge to shudder. Jesus, if a look could kill, that one would have speared Abel in the heart. “Okay, Sweetness. Only for a few minutes though. Momma will be here soon,” Jake warned, turning the hot dogs with a spatula as Patience watched Abel and Heaven walk away. Glancing at her, he shook his head. “You two ever gonna make peace with each other?” he asked Patience as he jerked his head toward Abel.
“They will be servin’ ice water in Hell before that ever happens, Biker Boy. You can take that to the bank,” she retorted sharply, her face tightening as she met Abel’s unflinching steady gaze.
“None of my business, but there seems like there’s a lot of water runnin’ under that bridge,” he replied, keeping his voice low.
“Oh, yeah, there’s a whole lotta water, Jake, and a man could drown real easy with how deep it is,” Patience agreed, finally turning her attention back to him.
“You wanna talk about it?” Jake asked carefully. Hell, it was none of his business, but Patience was Harmony’s sister. If she was hurtin’, he wanted to do what he could to help her. “Do I need to kick his ass?” he questioned softly, offering her a sidelong glance.
“Oh, if I ever decide Abel Turner needs his ass handed to him, I’ll be the one kickin’ it,” Patience returned with a cold smile. “Appreciate the offer, but I’ve been handlin’ that bastard for years, Jake. Don’t worry about me.”
“Oh, I’ve got no doubt that you can handle yourself, Spitfire. Been watchin’ you do it since I got to town. Half the boys ‘round here would give their left nut to take you on and the other half are scared spitless of you. That’s some kind of power you’ve got, if you ask me.”
“Yeah, I’ve been cultivating it for years.” Patience shrugged with a small grin. Sighing, she took another pull off her Budweiser. “So, you and my sister….”
Removing the grilled hot dogs from the grate and placing them on a paper plate, Jacob glanced at her. “I sense there’s something you wanna say to me, Patience,” he acknowledged softly.
“Yeah, I’m just trying to figure out how I wanna approach this,” she returned slowly, picking at the wrapper around her beer bottle. “I’m not real good at sugarcoating shit, so I’m just gonna go with blunt truth that cuts clear through all the bullshit and say my peace.”
Jake nodded as he held back a grin. “That’s one of my favorite things about you, Patience.”
“I don’t think it’s a secret to anyone that I don’t trust men. Oh, I like ‘em fine …I’ll drink with them… date ‘em if they’re cute even, but I don’t trust ‘em at all. Well, all ‘cept one. I trust Zeke.”
“Zeke’s a good man,” Jake replied evenly.
“He is, but more than that…he’s proven himself to me and my family. Besides my father and Uncle Jethro, he’s the only truly decent, honorable man that I’ve ever known. See, the men I’ve known haven’t given me much cause to be impressed by them. Abel… I don’t wanna go into that story, but I’ve got my reasons for how I feel. He might not be a bad man, but he ain’t my idea of a hero, either. Then, there’s Cain over there,” she said, gesturing toward where her brother-in-law cuddled Faith against him as he leaned against a tree. “He’s what I like to call a recoverin’ asshole. He put my sister Faith through hell before he finally pulled
his head out of his ass this last year.”
“What happened?” Jacob asked, glancing toward the couple that had always seemed so happy and in sync to him.
“Over a year ago, Cain sent her a ‘Dear John’ letter while he was in Afghanistan, breaking their engagement. Granted, his head was all fucked up from war at the time, but he nearly broke Faith with what he did. They worked shit out in the end, but still he’s in an asshole-recovery program as far as I’m concerned. I love him like a brother, but he’s on a ten-year probation with me for the stunt he pulled before he married my sister,” she explained, slowly peeling the wrapper off her beer bottle as she spoke.
“Damn,” Jacob murmured as he eyed the happy pair now. In the end, their shared love had triumphed, he told himself. He had to believe that could be true for him and Harmony, too.
“With Harmony, the only man she ever had was Tanner, her ex, and we’d all have been better off if that bastard had been nothing but a cum stain on his Momma’s nasty sheets. I know you’ve already heard all about him, but that asshole put my family through hell, but none worse than Harmony. Then, there’s Honor. Poor Honor… my baby sister was mauled by a pack of wild animals before she even got a shot at her future. Those bastards robbed her and Zeke of something that could have been beautiful. What happened to her… let’s just say it’s a wonder that I don’t walk around with a loaded gun pointed at the dick of every man I speak to.”
“Why are you telling me this, Patience?” Jake asked gently, studying Patience’s set face as she tucked a violet strand of hair behind her ear. Her chin firmed as she turned her diamond hard gaze on him.
“It’s simple. You need to understand some things and it’s up to me to educate you. Honor’s too shy, and Faith is too sweet. That leaves me. The women in this family have had more than their fair share of bad luck with men, Jake. Up until Faith got married, I was fairly certain we must have all been cursed. Now, my sister is fallin’ for you. The last time she fell for a man, he hurt her real bad.”
Hard as Stone (Passion in Paradise: The Men of the McKinnnon Sisters) Page 17
