Honor sat completely still for a long moment, her shoulders slumping slightly as she let out a sigh. “I remember - not a lot, but just enough – about the time I was in the hospital,” she began, her fragile voice trembling as she wrapped her hand around her mug of tea.
Harmony held her breath as she noted Zeke stiffening at Honor’s side. She knew why. Honor never discussed that time in her life with anyone. Not her. Not Aunt Orla. No one. The fact that she was doing it now meant that what she had to say mattered, and everyone sitting at the table realized it.
“You all never left me alone the whole time. Do you remember, Harm? Every time I opened my eyes, you and Aunt Orla, Faith and Patience…at least two of you were always there. Most of the time though, it was all of you.”
“I remember.” Harmony nodded. “None of us would have been anyplace else, sis.”
“Damn straight,” Patience agreed as Faith nodded supportively.
“I know,” Honor replied with a faint smile. “Y’all made that clear anytime you were asked to leave by the nurses. But what I remember the most is the day that doctor came in and told you all that he wanted to move me to a long-term care facility. I wasn’t talking or eating, and he thought that I’d require more care than you could offer at home. He argued with you, Harmony. He told you that he wasn’t the enemy and that you already had enough of a fight ahead of you with your own injuries.”
Harmony remembered that afternoon clearly. She felt herself getting angry as she recalled that idiot doctor’s condescension as he’d talked about her youngest sister like she was a burden to be born instead of a flesh-and-blood woman that had been traumatized in one of the worst ways a person could experience. “He said a lot of things, honey, and almost all of it was crap.”
“Amen,” Aunt Orla muttered from her end of the table.
Patience grinned as she shook her head. “Zeke almost knocked that so-called physician’s teeth down his throat when the guy walked into the hall.”
“Cain got him fired for that stunt,” Faith added with a fond look at her husband.
“Do you remember what you told the doctor, Harmony?” Honor asked her sister, ignoring the other comments.
“I do distinctly remember giving him directions on how to get to Hell,” she replied with a small frown.
“And Zeke offered to send him there express,” Faith reminded her.
“Yes, there was that, but the part I remember most was that you told that man if there was a battle ahead of me, the McKinnon family would fight it together. All of us. As a family. My question is this: if that was true for me, why would you think that you deserve any less?”
Harmony felt a lump rising in her throat as she shook her head again. “That’s different, Honor.”
“It’s really not, Harm, and I think Aunt Orla, Faith, and Patience would each agree with me,” Honor challenged, her voice still at a whisper. “Troubles might come and go, but family remains.”
A tear slipped down Harmony’s cheek as she listened to Honor quote their father and she felt Jake squeeze her knee under the table. For some reason, the sisters had always looked to Honor for wisdom, even though she was the youngest. In that moment, she realized that Honor might actually have made sense.
“Now, are we all on the same page?” Honor asked gently, looking around at the faces surrounding the table.
“I’m good,” Faith replied, her voice a little shaky as she clutched Cain’s hand on the table.
Sighing, Patience slowly inclined her head.
“Yes,” Harmony agreed with a voice still thick with emotion.
“Wonderful!” Aunt Orla pronounced jovially, before turning to face Ice. “Now that all that is settled, just need to know if you sleep in the nude. It’s not a deal breaker, but color me curious. And if the answer is yes, I want you to know that I’m perfectly comfortable with the male body. No need for you to be shy at all.”
“And on that note, meeting adjourned,” Honor declared with a faint grin, moving to rise and stumbling against the table as she felt the world shift beneath her feet. Pressing a hand to her now-spinning head, she belatedly looked down at her empty coffee mug as Zeke grabbed her arm to steady her.
“Honor, you alright, sugar?”
Lifting her head to try and focus on her aunt’s question, Honor’s vision swam, shapes and colors wavering before her eyes. Oh, she remembered this feeling...and she remembered exactly what and who usually caused it. Turning in Patience’s general direction, Honor growled through clenched teeth, “Did you dose me, you traitor?”
Jabbing her finger in Cain’s direction, Patience shook her head. “I only made the tea! The doctor added the medication! You were stressed and he thought…”
“Cain Turner!” Honor shouted as loud as she could manage, the sound echoing in her own ears and pulling a wince from her. “Did you roofie me?” she hissed, sinking back into her chair.
“It’s just a mild relaxant, Honor,” Cain stated dismissively, rising from his own chair and moving toward his sister-in-law. “You and Harmony both had a pretty good scare today. You needed a little something to even you out,” he soothed, picking up Honor’s wrist and taking her pulse.
“Cain?” Zeke asked in a low voice.
“She’s fine, Zeke. Honest to God, she’s okay,” Cain replied calmly, dropping Honor’s hand gently back into her lap.
Blinking rapidly to try and clear her vision, Honor focused on Jake. “You’re an EDA agent. Isn’t this illegal or somethin’,” she slurred.
“I think you mean a DEA agent, sweetheart.” Jake grinned at her. “And no, I think it’s fine. Especially since there’s medical supervision.”
“Damn,” Honor muttered. Looking up at Cain, she petulantly asked, “Did Harmony get dosed? I think Harmony should get dosed. If I gotta take me’cine, so should she.”
“You’re such a giver, sis,” Harmony snorted, her lips twitching when Honor lifted a hand to scratch her nose and poked herself in the eye. Of all the sisters, Honor was usually the one that handled all things with aplomb and grace. Until tonight, obviously.
Rising from the table, Faith looked between Patience and Harmony and saw them nod slightly. “Don’t worry, sis. We girls are gonna pile in your room for a slumber party.”
“S’umber party?” Honor yawned, watching as her sisters walked toward her. There might be more than three of them, but she wasn’t quite sure any more.
“Uh huh,” Harmony agreed, patting a tense Zeke on the shoulder before taking one of Honor’s arms and helping her stand. “Just like the old days, remember? When we’d all stay up late talking for hours.”
“That’d make Momma and Daddy maaaaaadddddd,” Honor giggled as Patience took her other arm and helped her down the hallway.
“Well, nobody’s gettin’ in trouble tonight,” Aunt Orla assured her as she stood to follow the girls down the hall. Pausing as she reached Zeke’s side, she reached out and squeezed his hand. “Son, you need to give it five or ten minutes and then come stand outside Honor’s bedroom door.”
“What? Why?” Zeke questioned sharply, his gaze worried as he stared down into Orla’s tired eyes.
Looking around at the men that remained in the room, she shook her head. “The boys will explain, son. But, I want you to remember something,” she cautioned, her weathered fingers tightening around Zeke’s wrist. “Whether Honor Grace will admit it or not, you are one of the few stable things she’s had in her life for six years, Ezekiel. She depends on you to be strong. You’re her safe harbor, boy. Don’t you dare let my precious girl down now.”
“Miss Orla, you’re scarin’ the shit out of me,” Zeke growled, his body going tight and hot.
Stepping up to Zeke’s side, Jake murmured, “Go on, Miss Orla. Ice and I will make sure he doesn’t lose his head in the house.”
Zeke turned to Jake as Orla nodded and limped down the hall after her girls. “What the fuck is she talking about, Jake?”
“Man, I’m sorry. You’re
about to find out some shit that I wouldn’t wish on anybody – especially not somebody that could eventually be my brother-in-law,” Jake apologized, his dark eyes filled with remorse as they stared at the sheriff.
Blinking, Zeke turned toward his brother. “Ice?”
Ice ran a frustrated hand through his untamed mane of black hair. “Fuck,” he cursed, unable to meet his brother’s eyes.
“Seriously, Zeke. Let’s just go set up camp outside Honor’s bedroom,” Jacob suggested calmly. “You need to hear this from her even if it happens by eavesdroppin’.”
Clenching his jaw, Zeke whirled on the heel of his boot and stomped toward the bedrooms as Ice and Jake shared a concerned look.
Both men knew the truth. The shit was about to hit the fan; before it was done, they would all be dirty.
Chapter Forty
For years, the McKinnon sisters had let their youngest sister be the one in control. Following Honor’s abduction and rape, they had restructured their lives to always be together, to always make the baby of the family feel safe and secure. And for Honor, that had meant that she had to be the one making decisions. Luckily, she had a keen business sense and the ability to cut to the core of a topic with ease. The sisters relied on her to keep their family afloat and their business in the black; in return, they made sure she had what she needed to be safe.
Which was exactly what brought them to this point. Honor’s mental safety was no longer as certain as it had once been. The sisters were not about to let her suffer any longer, even though that meant that she had to deal with memories that had once been locked into her subconscious.
Harmony perched at Honor’s hip as her sister settled on her back in the bed. Crossing her legs Indian-style, the soft cotton of her yoga pants stretched across her legs as she felt Faith and Patience sit on either side of Honor’s feet at the foot of the bed. She sensed Aunt Orla settling into the faded floral print recliner in the corner of the room. Glancing at the doorway, she found it half open and heard heavy footsteps walking down the hallway and pausing just shy of the door. It appeared everyone was now where they needed to be, and as much as she hated it, she knew what she had to do. Shooting a reassuring smile toward her sister, Harmony lifted a hand to brush the fine blond hair away from Honor’s face as she looked into the woman’s drugged eyes. “Okay, Peanut,” she said softly, “We need to talk.”
“I don’t like that look you’ve got, Harmony. You look like you did every time you told me I had to sit between Patience and Faith in the backseat of Momma’s Buick,” Honor muttered with a tiny frown. “I hated being wedged between those two. Faith pinched and Patience was a seat hog.”
Harmony chuckled softly as she remembered those long ago arguments. Her sisters had never been good travelers. Whether they were going cross-state or to the grocery store in town, there’d always been a fight of some kind. “Well, I promise that Faith will keep her fingers to herself and Patience won’t move from that spot at the end of the bed, but we’ve still got to talk.”
Honor wrinkled her nose. “Fine,” she grumbled, lifting a hand to tug nervously at a strand of her hair. “Although, I don’t know whatcha wanna talk ‘bout.”
“Yes, you do,” Harmony countered, her eyes capturing her baby sister’s gaze for a long, silent moment. “We have to talk about this afternoon, Peanut.”
“Don’t wanna.” Honor face screwed up as she closed her eyes, almost as though she were trying to squeeze the memories out of her head.
Smoothing her fingers over Honor’s wrinkled forehead, Harmony shook her head. “I can see where Heaven gets her stubborn face from now, but that’s not gonna work any better for you than it does for her, Baby Sister. You remembered something today, Honor. You need to talk about it.”
“I don’t want to.” Honor shook her head against the pillow without opening her eyes. “Don’t make me,” she begged, her thin voice rising with fear.
“Blocking it out won’t make it go away, Honor. You know that, sweetie. It’ll just come back to haunt you later. Those doctors didn’t say much I agreed with back when you were hurt, but one of them made a lot of sense. He said that memories can be like battery acid, slowly eating away at a patient’s soul. He said that the only thing you can do is purge the lines when the buildup gets too bad. It’s time for you to purge, honey, before that acid eats through you.”
“Honor, you’re safe,” Faith said from the end of the bed, reaching out a hand and resting it on Honor’s slack hand.
“We’re all here, sis,” Patience said from the other side of the bed. “Nobody is gonna hurt you ever again – none of us will let that happen, but Harmony is right. You need to tell us what you remembered today when that bastard walked back into our lives.”
Honor slowly opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling tiles above her head through glazed eyes. “Everything,” she replied tonelessly. “I remembered everything.” She grimaced and shuddered. “I didn’t want to. I tried to block it out… shut it down the way I did right after it happened, but I couldn’t,” she admitted, her fragile voice breaking as she squeezed her eyes closed again. “I tried and I couldn’t.”
“Listen to me,” Harmony urged, gripping Honor’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “You couldn’t do it because maybe you shouldn’t. Maybe it’s time to face this, Honor. For six years, you’ve tried to move past what happened, but honey, you haven’t been able to do it. You’ve tried. You’ve put on a happy face and gone about your life as best as you could, but you’ve been surviving each day and that’s a hell of a lot different from living. There’s a reason for that. Your mind can’t deal with the unknown. It has to process what happened that night, make some kind of sense of it. You can’t just shove it all in that box in your head and lock it up tight any longer. And that’s okay. Whatever it is that you’re facing, you’re not alone. You’re never going to have to face it alone.”
“It’s bad, Harmony. It’s so bad. I came home and took three showers and I still feel dirty. I don’t know if I’m ever going to feel clean again,” Honor confided faintly, opening her bluish green eyes to stare beseechingly at her sister. “This is ugly in a way that once you hear, you’ll look at me and…”
“You listen to me. You are clean. Those bastards that hurt you are the dirty ones, Honor, never you. And nothing you ever say could change the way I feel about you or what happened to you,” Harmony promised softly, holding Honor’s cold hand tightly in her own and silently willing her baby sister to absorb some of her warmth. “Tell us what you remember.”
“I…I don’t know where to start.” Honor turned her head to stare at the wall, her already pale face seeming to whiten even more. “When I heard Tanner’s voice this afternoon, it was like the floodgates opened and now everything just feels like a jumble of memories. It’s all tangled in my head.”
“Best place to start is always the beginning, Sweet Pea,” Aunt Orla advised from her chair in the corner. “What’s the first memory you have of that night?”
“The street,” Harmony whispered shakily. “Seein’ Zeke on the street after the football game at school.”
Harmony took a deep breath. This part she already knew; Zeke remembered it. “He stopped to ask you if you needed him to take you home, didn’t he?” she asked, smoothing her hand through Honor’s hair just as she did when she comforted Heaven.
“Mmm Hmm.” Honor nodded against the pillow. “He was nice, but I could tell he was in a hurry. He had that woman with him. Sherri Lawson. She was all dressed up and glarin’ at me. He told me to get in the backseat and he’d take me home. I told him that I was waiting on a ride, but he said I didn’t need to be waiting alone at night. Sherri…I could tell that made her mad and that I was ruining their plans,” she continued, her voice cracking as a tear slid out of her eye. “I told them to go on; that I’d wait. I should have gotten into the car with them. Ezekiel would have kept me safe. If I’d gone with him, none of it would have ever happened. I was stupid. Stupid, stupid,
stupid.”
Honor whimpered as Harmony heard a moan emanate from the hallway, almost like a wounded animal caught in a trap. Thankfully, the sound didn’t even register to Honor. “You’re not stupid, Peanut. You could never know what would happen. No one could have known” she soothed softly, tightening her fingers around Honor’s hand. Darting a worried look at the door, she shifted her eyes to Aunt Orla and saw the woman shake her head sadly. Looking at Patience’s bent head behind her as she kept holding Honor’s hand, she whispered, “Should we…”
“It’s begun, Harm. Keep going,” Faith murmured, her eyes glued to Honor’s crumbled face.
“She’s right,” Patience agreed without looking up from where she stared sightlessly at her clenched face. “Honor,” she said, lifting her head as she scooted closer to her sister, “Keep going, baby. Get it out.”
She wiped her wet cheeks with a trembling hand. “I guess I stood there staring down the road for a few minutes when I heard a car coming up behind me. It was dark and the headlights blinded me when I turned around. It was cold and I was wearing my cheerleading outfit. The wind was blowing and I was concentrating on keeping my skirt down around my legs when I heard two car doors slam and then the laughing. Men were laughing, but I couldn’t see them for the bright lights on the car.”
Honor’s voice was growing more panicked by the second and Harmony moved closer. “Breathe, Peanut,” she urged, somehow keeping her own voice calm even though her mind screamed at her to stop this nightmare for her sister. Of course, she couldn’t. This nightmare had already played out, and these were just the memories. Memories that they all needed to hear. “Just take a couple of deep breaths.”
Hard as Stone (Passion in Paradise: The Men of the McKinnnon Sisters) Page 35
