by Cerys du Lys
But this can’t last. Then my face fell. My happiness popped like soap bubbles.
“Spike.” Emotion thickened my throat. “I don’t know what to do.”
He shrugged, smiling bitterly. “Me neither. Getting mixed up with the Vice President’s old lady was the last thing I wanted, but I can’t seem to stay away from you.”
Another wave of heat spread down my chest and legs as he cupped my chin. “Same here. I don’t know whether I’ll—I don’t know if I can leave him.”
“Stop,” he said in a tender voice. “Don’t think about that yet. Just enjoy it.”
Yes. Just shut up and give in.
I just wanted to sink into his arms and stay there forever. He titled my head with his fingers so that I gazed into his eyes. “Kiss me again, please—”
I didn’t have a chance to finish my sentence. The gentleness from before vanished. His lips took my breath away with a rough kiss. His arms snaked around me, his hands following the curve of my ass. He squeezed and I moaned into his mouth. Spike’s tongue parted my lips and I tasted his mouth, which was sweet. I sucked on his lower lip and grazed my teeth, biting slightly.
I wrapped my legs around his waist as he picked me up. He backed me against the wall, his lips still devouring mine. He pulled away, his breathing frantic as he kissed down my neck, his tongue darting out to taste my skin.
“I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you,” he said in hurried gasps. “Fucking hell, you make me crazy.”
A lecherous swipe of his tongue over the swell of my tits made me moan. His lips gathered my flesh in his mouth and he sucked hard, leaving a wet, bright red mark.
“Spike, don’t!”
He laughed softly in my ear, nibbling on it. Thoughts of how reckless this was disappeared as I slipped further and further into the mind numbing pleasure his lips and tongue gave me. I didn’t want him to stop, and as I caught a glimpse of his fevered gaze, I wondered if he even had the ability to stop. He walked a short distance with me in his arms, and my heart slammed against my chest as he walked in the bedroom—the bed I shared with Cain.
It felt so wrong to be in a room that still smelled faintly of him, but Spike leaned me over the bed, his lips still attached to mine, kissing me senseless. And I didn’t care anymore. I knew this would happen. I knew that if I invited him over, I was essentially inviting him to fuck me. There was no stopping it.
As he kissed me, he unbuttoned my blouse, his lips traveling further and further down with every unsnapped button. I never felt so alive. My back arched into his kisses, powerless against the ecstasy I felt from his lips and his fingers, which stroked the sides of my breasts when my blouse fell away from my arms. I reached up to twine my fingers in his hair, yanking slightly as he reached around me and undid the clasp of my bra. He sighed when it fell down my arms, gazing with pure rapturous delight at my tits.
“Spike, I need you.”
He smiled and kissed me again, this time softly. I grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head. His body sank into mine. The heat of both of our bodies touching each other made me gasp.
“I may seem sweet to you now, but it’s taking everything in me not to fuck you how I really want.”
I slid my fingers down his back. “Do it. I want you to.”
He shook his head. “Not tonight. Tonight I’ll be gentle.” He gave me another smile as he slipped down, kissing my breasts and swirling his tongue around my nipples. My pussy clenched with want as he closed his mouth over one and sucked.
Meanwhile, his hands played with my waistband. With one snap, my jeans unbuttoned and his hot hand slipped under my panties to stroke my mound. His middle finger curved and immediately plunged into wetness.
“Goddamn, you’re so wet for me.”
“Spike,” I groaned.
His middle finger stroked me in circles, carefully avoiding my throbbing heat. He kissed me consolingly. “You beautiful, amazing girl. I’m going to make you come so hard.”
It was music to my ears. I was so used to fear and pain. The fact that he cared about my pleasure, getting me off, was completely different than what I was used to. I let out a high, thin gasp as his finger curved sharply and slid inside my pussy with hardly any friction. I dug my fingers in his hair and yanked so hard that he grunted in pain.
Again and again he probed my wetness, stroking my clit as he dazzled me with his lips. I reached down and yanked my jeans off my waist. I kissed him back hard, biting his lip. Red-faced, he withdrew his hand to pull my jeans off my legs and then I was completely naked. He hovered over me, his elbows flat against my sides. He seemed to come back to himself and doubt flickered in his eyes. I swept my hands over his cheeks and behind his head, tightening my fingers in his curls. I pulled his head closer, until I breathed into his mouth.
“Take off your pants.”
Spike didn’t need to be told twice. I reached down and helped him unbuckle his belt, my heart hammering when I heard his zipper and the rough tousle of his jeans sliding off his thick legs. I leaned up and saw his rigid cock. I wanted to touch him, but Spike leaned over me and suddenly my legs flew over his legs and tightened over his torso.
The head of his cock sent a ripple of electricity through my pussy as it pushed against my entrance. His body rocked and his cock shot into me, filling me with his width. His eyes closed as he dug into me, my fingers almost ripping out his hair.
It felt so right. He felt so good. His beautifully carved, tattooed back rose and fell like the ocean. I tightened my legs, squeezing him as he glided up my walls, pounding with an ever-increasing frequency.
“Spike!”
He bent his head to kiss me, silencing my moans, and I responded with a furious passion. I wanted it harder. Faster. But Spike was intent on keeping it slow. He buried himself to the hilt and held himself there, shuddering slightly. He smiled against my lips and then he slid out just as slowly, only to thrust inside again.
“Are you trying to torture me?”
A delicious laugh rumbled in my ears. “I’m trying to be gentle.”
He kissed my ear and I flushed all over, marveling how a badass biker could be so sweet.
“Well, I don’t like gentle.”
He slipped out of me and I worried, thinking that I offended him. Suddenly he grabbed my shoulders and made me sit upright. He kissed me again and my hands explored his powerful chest, his rock-hard shoulders, loving every inch of him. His hand tangled in my hair, he yanked me around and shoved me forward so that I landed on all fours. I gasped as I landed, his hair still clinging my long hair as the other grabbed my waist. Excitement shook my limbs.
“I don’t like it either,” he said in a throaty growl.
Then he thrust into me, deeper and harder than before. I moaned as his cock filled me, his hand jerking my head and making me arch my back. It wasn’t painful; it was fucking hot. His hips slammed into me, still tugging my hair as he thrust forward. I rocked my body in tune with his movements, our bodies smacking together and my wetness all over his thighs.
His groans deepened when I began to rock my hips into his thrusts and he let go of my hair to grab my hips, pulling back with quick jerks.
Smack!
I shuddered as his hand ripped down on my ass with a sudden, sharp blow. The pain accentuated the pleasure throbbing inside my pussy. My face pushed into the comforter as I lifted my ass up so that he could drive into me deeper. I fell to my side as he suddenly flipped me around again, and then my back was against the headboard and he was smashing into me. My legs wound themselves over his back and I held onto his shoulders for dear life, not caring about the pain of my head crashing into the headboard.
He nuzzled my neck, uttering wordless growls that fed my ecstasy. The pleasure vibrated through my body, flushing my breasts and face. I wrenched his hair and screamed as he bit my neck and finally—he groaned.
Warmth spread inside me as his cock jumped and my pussy clenched around him. He pulsed a few times
and then his full weight covered me, my lungs starting to burn. He heard my shallow breaths and lifted himself slightly, still kissing me as if he never wanted to stop.
I just wanted to hold on to this feeling.
His smile warmed me, all the way to my toes.
I’m fucked.
“I’m going to want you every day, every fucking hour.”
You can’t. “Spike, what the fuck are we doing?”
Tears threatened to spill because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to just walk away from Cain. Did I even have the courage to stand in front of him and tell him that I was no longer his?
He sighed. “I’ll tell him next time I visit that you want out.”
“No, I can’t.” I trembled even as Spike held me, but I knew I had to do it. I would never respect myself if I didn’t.
“Yes, you can.” He kissed my cheeks where tears started slipping and didn’t press the issue.
I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to fall for another man when I finally got used to Cain’s callousness. But it was too late, now.
* * *
It was hard to keep myself from grinning like an idiot when the doorbell rang. I half-walked, half-ran to the door and ripped it open. Spike beamed at me. My heart did all kinds of flips in my chest when he crossed the threshold and gathered me in his arms.
Last night, when Spike left, I thought of the future for the first time in my life. I thought of how proud I’d be to be his old lady, to stand beside him, to wake up in his arms every day. It would be like a dream.
Spike’s hot mouth descended on mine, tasting of spiced rum. His face was flushed with color when he pulled away.
“Maybe we should tone it down at the club.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”
He beamed. “I like seeing you smile.”
I hugged his waist, loving how my body fit into his like a glove. I felt his heartbeat like a steady metronome against mine.
When we arrived at the clubhouse, I made sure to walk behind him as we walked into the club.
“Hi, Spike!”
One of the club whores beamed as Spike walked in and a surge of jealousy make me feel sick when he smiled and winked back. Her eyes slid to mine, narrowing. My eyes snapped away, but she had already turned her body towards me. I hugged myself as she walked forward, dressed in a bikini top and shorts. Tracy was a small thing. She’d always hungered after Cain’s cock.
“Hi, Julia.”
“Hey, Tracy.”
“How are you holding up without Cain?”
Remarkably well. “Fine.”
My insides tensed as she gave me a knowing smile and a wink. “Spike and you’ve been together a lot lately.”
The fear was sharp like a knife, but I let none of it show. “Yeah, Cain wanted him to shadow me while he was gone. He’s afraid I’ll run off, or something.”
She let out a simpering giggle. “Oh, I see.”
I wanted to slap the smile from her face, but instead I excused myself. I looked around the club; trying to decipher the looks they gave me. Was it me or were their eyes flicking back and forth from me to Spike?
Everybody fucking knows already.
Coke. I wanted a fucking gram of coke. I took my fear out on the billiard balls, waiting for Spike to send me to a bar.
“Hey, you all right?”
His gentle voice snapped me out of my concentration, and I scratched the ball, my cue stabbing the felt. Color bloomed in my cheeks as the whole bar laughed at me. I tried to join in half-heartedly. Spike looked alarmed that I would make such a rookie mistake. I looked at him and slammed the cue against the wall, storming out of the club.
“She’s angry about Cain.” I heard his voice explain to the others as the doors swung shut. I dug a cigarette out of my jacket and lit it furiously.
We’re fucked.
The lungful of smoke did little to calm my nerves.
Who cares? You’re going to tell him, anyway. My lungs froze as if they were petrified. I would tell him, but I wouldn’t expect to survive the day.
The swell of joy bursting my chest when Spike emerged to look for me made me feel miserable. He looked at my trembling hand and his mouth hardened as if he knew what was wrong.
“You’ve got to calm down.”
“I can’t. Everyone already knows.” My lungs sucked down the smoke. I felt it swirling inside me.
He laughed. “What? No, they don’t.”
“He’ll kill us.”
His hand fell around my shoulder and wrapped around the back of my neck. “That’s not going to happen. For one thing, not everyone’s thrilled with Cain as a leader.”
The door swung open and two foul-faced men that I recognized as the men who kidnapped me and killed Bryan stepped outside. Pike’s shaved head gleamed in the sun. River’s dark eyes zeroed in on us and Spike’s hand fell from my neck.
Oh, shit.
“Spike!” River called out.
“The fuck do they want?” he muttered under his breath. “Yeah?” he said in a louder voice.
My stomach turned as they approached me.
Each time I saw them it was like being transported back to that night. The night they took my entire world from me.
I couldn’t forget the way Bryan’s eyes widened, glistening with tears right before his head whipped to the side. I pushed it from my mind for months, numbing my memories with coke, but now it returned in full force. He didn’t fucking deserve it. I may have never loved him, but he was still someone who I shared a home with. He protected me and tried to give me a better life, and he died for it.
It festered in me.
I owe him justice.
Pike sneered at me, flashing his yellow teeth as if he remembered the same thing, but he couldn’t talk freely in front of Spike. He deliberately stepped in between us.
“What?” he prompted.
“We’ve been sitting on that intel about the shipment for days. Why haven’t we acted on it?”
My heart flipped at the challenge in his voice, but Spike stared him down like the cockroach he was.
“Crash wants nothing to do with Red, so I’m staying the fuck out of it. If he wants to fuck with the Tigers when he gets out, he can be my guest.”
I dug my fingernails in my palms when he swept past the biker wordlessly. His rage at being brushed aside by the Vice-President trembled in his eyes. They narrowed at me.
“Do you know that there’s a two hundred thousand dollar reward for information on your return?”
“No, I didn’t.” Cain never let me read the news. I had no idea what happened in the aftermath of Bryan’s death. “Maybe you shouldn’t have killed him.”
If I was expecting an admission of guilt, an apology, or something—I was delusional. His lips curled.
“Your old man’s in jail. When he returns, he’ll expect things to be back to normal. Those who helped him will be rewarded and those who betray him just might end up dead.”
Is that a threat? Against me or Spike?
I was lucky it was so hot outside. “You think I’m stupid enough to betray my old man? You need to fuck off.”
His face twisted like an ugly mask. My nerves blazed as if they sensed a fight.
“I won’t stand here and watch while Cain loses what’s his.”
“Fuck off, you piece of shit. If I could, I would gun both of you down—you and that creep standing behind you. You better watch what you say.”
I knocked into his shoulder as I stormed away from him, glaring at Pike who gave me a slow smirk.
“This ain’t over.”
The sunlight squinted his eyes and whitened his head. The cruel smirk on his face was exactly identical to the one he wore when he kidnapped me. It promised pain and retribution.
* * *
I stayed away from the club after that and seriously thought about packing my shit and leaving town. There was one more visit left before Cain would be freed. What if Pike and River decided to go? What wo
uld they tell him?
I told myself that it didn’t matter, that I was planning on leaving him anyway. I said it over and over again, but it didn’t make me feel better.
The desire reared up inside me to regain control of my life. If I wanted Spike in my life, this was the only way. I’ve always done everything myself, and this was no different. I would not let him die.
I drove all the way to jail, alone. I wouldn’t leave Cain, no matter how horrible he was to me. He was the only good thing in my life. Hell, he was the best thing that ever happened to me and I wasn’t going to kill him.
I sat in the leather seat of the car as the heat suffocated me, trying to gather the courage to leave the car and get inside. Two leather jacketed men left jail and a shrill gasp escaped my throat. They walked down the parking lot, closer and closer to me.
Pike and River.
No.
Almost as if they smelled my presence, their faces turned towards the car I was huddled inside. They made a beeline for me and I locked the doors automatically. Pike’s torso stopped in front of my driver’s side and he bent at the waist to look inside.
A leer spread across his face and he waved his hand merrily.
“Julia! Come out,” he yelled through the glass.
Were they really planning to abduct me here? Don’t be afraid. They can’t touch you here.
I swung open the door widely, aiming for his head, but the bastard leapt out of the way.
“What the fuck?”
I whirled on him, my teeth grinding together. “Fuck, I missed.”
He straightened himself, pulling on his ratty, filthy leather cut. “That’s right. Keep threatening us.”
It’s a promise. I will kill you one day.
Locking the car, I sped away from their derisive laughter. Tears filled my eyes as I imagined what they must have told Cain in my absence.
Fuck. What could I say? Would he even believe me?
Getting processed through jail took an agonizing half-hour. I tried to think of what Spike would do, but he didn’t want me to stay with Cain. He wanted me to be happy.
And that’s why I’m willing to do anything to keep him safe. The world would be worse off without him.
I wiped my face as I was led through the building to the cavernous room full of prisoners milling around. I searched frantically, hoping that Cain was still there.
