by Cerys du Lys
“This is all my fault, Julia.” He raked his hands through his hair. “If I had broken you properly in the beginning, you would have never done any of this. I apologize for that.”
The razor blade sat on the toilet seat. He hadn’t noticed it yet.
My body was stiff as he pulled me into his arms. He’s crazy. I shrank against his chest. “Why—why didn’t you?”
“Because I wanted to see what it would be like. And then you decided to betray me.”
His hands pinched my arms as he pulled me back, and then I saw the fury in his face.
“I did not betray you,” I snarled.
“I don’t fucking believe you.”
“You changed when you started using Red. You were hurting me.”
Cain smiled at my desperate attempt to defend myself. “No, sweetheart. I’ve always been like this. I just held it back for your sake. Now, I don’t give a fuck.”
He yanked my head forward and I cried out in pain as his lips sealed against mine. His tongue forced through my lips, aggravating my split lip. His hands tore apart my shirt and slid under my bra.
Tears streamed down my face as he ripped it off. This isn’t happening. He groped my tits and uttered a satisfied groan.
“Weeks without fucking you was torture,” he hissed. “When I’m done with you, you’ll never look at another man again. Hell, you might never look at anyone again.”
I lunged for the blade sitting on the toilet and grabbed it. I wanted to slice his neck, but he gripped my wrist. He caught it so easily, like it was nothing. Then he bent it backwards until I screamed in pain. I dropped the blade.
“And what were you planning to do with that?” he asked in an amused voice.
“Kill you.”
He chuckled. “I can’t be killed, sweetheart.”
“Go fuck yourself,” I spat.
The smile that spread across his face was eerie. “I’d rather fuck you.”
Then I finally fought him, pummeling his body with my fists. I screamed as he laughed at my attempts to get him off. He ripped down my jeans as I wept and I rolled on my stomach, thinking that he couldn’t rape me in that position. I was wrong. He pinned me down with his knee in my back and then his heavy weight fell over my back.
Spike! I wanted to scream.
My ears pierced with my own screams as he split me open. His hot hand wrapped around my mouth. He lunged forward and his hand caught my screams, but it was also suffocating me. My lungs burned and I forgot the terror of being forced. I just wanted air.
Give in.
He groaned in my ear as he thrust forward again. Black spots invaded my vision. I embraced the darkness.
* * *
A metal, clanking sound woke me up. I opened my eyes. I was in a cellar somewhere and it was cold. I was naked. I swallowed hard, feeling the rawness between my legs. Cain leaned over me, fastening something to my wrist. Handcuffs.
What new horror was he planning for me?
His face looked revitalized, as if fucking me gave him energy. He even whistled happily as he worked, securing my legs to the bedposts.
“Cain.”
The pale eyes glanced at me after he secured my right leg. He sat down on the mattress, his hand traveling from my calf to my thigh, circling around, but he swept up harmlessly and smoothed my stomach.
He laughed to himself. “Damn, your body is just begging to be fucked.”
“Raped,” I corrected him in a harsh voice.
His fingers squeezed my nipples until I whimpered. “I never understood the appeal, until now. It always seemed too easy. Boring. But it wasn’t at all. I felt excited.”
Sick freak.
I didn’t understand how I had ever felt any attraction towards him.
“What are you going to do about Spike?”
He shrugged. “You should be more worried about what I’m going to do to you.”
I didn’t like the steely glint in his eyes. “You don’t need to do this.”
“What happened to your spirit?” he sneered. The pale eyes bored into my head. “Tell me to fuck off again, I dare you.”
Fuck you. Hating him, I kept my lips sealed. My body vibrated with rage. He had me under his thumb and he knew it. What was the point in fighting? Let him think he won. Spike will come for me, I know it.
But what state would I be in when he finally came?
Cain stood up to his full height and I shuddered as I saw the outline of his cock against his jeans.
He saw me looking at it and smiled. “Not tonight. I have something else planned.”
He bent down and picked up a box that I ignored until now. Scurrying, rustling noises filled the box. I waited as he dipped his hand into the box and gasped as I heard a squeak.
“No.”
Cain grinned as he pulled out a long, grey rat by its bald tail. The rat thrashed in his grip and squeaked in pain as he held it up. A white terror seized me and I threw all of my energy into yanking the restraints.
“NO!” My biceps strained as I yanked the chains, already sobbing. “No, please!”
“I remembered that you had a fear of rats. And they say men are self-absorbed. I had Pike procure these filthy animals for you. Isn’t that thoughtful of me?” He pinched the rat’s head carefully so that it couldn’t bite him and held it over my torso.
“NO, PLEASE! DON’T!”
“I don’t think you realize how much you mean to me. Before I met you, I was a shell. You make me feel things I never knew existed.”
I didn’t listen to his babbling. I could see the rat’s beady, red eyes staring at me, it’s incisors as sharp as razors. The headless pigeons flashed through my mind again.
“You’re going to tell me what happened while I was gone, or I’ll let them loose.”
“Nothing happened. NOTHING! I swear!”
“Did you fuck him?” he spat with venom.
I bawled my eyes out, thrashing in the restraints. “NO! We—just, we hung out!”
Disappointment shone in his eyes. He lowered the rat to my stomach as I begged him, and the rat was frightened from all the sounds, and a stabbing pain pierced my stomach. Blood dripped down my skin as I looked, terrified, at the rat’s red muzzle. It bit me.
“You know, rats are fascinating creatures. They know when, for instance, their prey is helpless. They’ll take a few exploratory bites and then they’ll devour.” He spoke in a matter-of-fact tone, but his face was cold.
“STOP! PLEASE!”
He offered me no sign that he heard my pleas. “Tell me the truth, and it will stop.”
“I AM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH!”
“I don’t believe you.”
He dropped the rat on my stomach and it smacked my skin before it scurried away. I let out an ear-splitting shriek that made him wince.
Then he turned the whole box over on my body. I sobbed as the heavy bodies bounced on my abdomen, one of them scratching my skin as it fled away. Cain’s eyes blazed as he watched me struggle.
“Well, then. I’ll leave you here for tonight.”
“Cain, please. PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME HERE! They’ll kill me!”
He turned around. “I doubt it.”
“PLEASE!”
My desperate screams echoed in the small chamber but Cain kept his back turned, walking towards the door with his hands in his pockets. The rats darted from corner to corner.
“Sweet dreams, Julia.”
The light died in the room. I sobbed for him to stay, not to leave me, even when I knew it was hopeless.
The door slammed. The rats squeaked as I whimpered in the darkness, my head whipping around. I heard their feet running everywhere, climbing up the bedpost as their noses sniffed the air, searching for the source of the scent of my blood.
Just go away. Go to some dark corner in your mind.
Icy tears slipped down my face as I heard them scurry next to me. I wasn’t even sure if I was only hearing things.
They’re just rats. Stupid,
furry balls of flesh.
A warm body crept on my leg and I shrieked. Forcing myself to remain still, I waited for it to bite me. I couldn’t see a damn thing in the dark so I had no idea what it was doing.
Hours passed and my heart rate slowed down. I wasn’t being eaten alive. The rat that climbed on my leg was still there. Light shined through the cracks of the door and sent rays across the room. I saw the beast sitting on my leg, its eyes closed. The others were out of sight, probably huddled under the mattress.
It was sleeping on me.
Its tiny cheeks twitched in its sleep as its sides expanded and deflated regularly. I still didn’t want it on my skin, but watching the rat sleep made the fear dissipate. Surprise flooded my chest and a smile twitched on my face.
Thanks, Cain. You may have cured my phobia.
The light behind the door poured inside as it was flung open. I threw my hand over my eyes. The rat squeaked and scratched my skin as it fled from the noise.
Heavy footsteps descended the small staircase, filling my body with dread. I drew my knees up and stared at the wall.
I need to act like I’m breaking.
My mouth twisted and I stared at the same point on the wall, even as Cain’s footsteps grew louder. I wanted to flinch when he grabbed my shoulder roughly and shook it.
I rolled on my back as he pulled my shoulder. The blonde man’s head hovered over me but I stared at a spot behind his shoulders.
I wanted to look dead.
“Julia,” he prompted.
You wanted a mindless slave, so that’s what I’ll give to you.
His hand gripped my jaw and slapped my cheek several times. It stung, but I didn’t flinch.
“Get up.”
I lay there like a limp doll, falling to the floor when he yanked my arm. My cheek smacked against the floor and I saw the rats huddled together in a corner, their eyes shining like coins.
“Rats,” I whispered.
“Get the fuck up.”
I moaned and twitched on the floor as I heard Cain’s impatient tone. He would realize that he pushed me too far. He’d lower his guard. And then, when his back is turned, I’ll stab him—right between his shoulder blade.
SPIKE
She was taking way too fucking long.
I should have never let her leave by herself.
Cursing myself, I slammed the door shut behind me and jogged towards my bike. It was hours since Julia left my place. She promised not to take long. My mind was racing, filled with thoughts of what ifs.
My lungs were tight, as if I’d smoked too many cigarettes. I hoped that Julia was just being a typical girl and was agonizing over which pairs of jeans she ought to bring, but Julia was anything but ordinary.
Something’s wrong.
I hopped on my bike and throttled it to Julia’s place, hoping to God that the pounding feeling in my heart was wrong. The tires screeched as I ground to halt outside the apartment. Julia’s convertible was still in the driveway, but the whole apartment was dark.
Fuck.
I jogged up the stairs and didn’t bother knocking on the door, I twisted the handle and it flew open. I stumbled over the threshold.
A blonde man sat in the kitchen in the darkness. His pale eyes flinched from the sunlight behind me like a snake kept in the dark.
“Spike,” he said, rising from the chair.
What the fuck is he doing here? “Cain, I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“You look surprised to see me at all.”
Cain’s voice was taut with rage and his eyes looked bloody. He’s on Red again. “Where’s Julia?”
He gave me a lipless smile that made my stomach twist. “She’s no longer your concern.”
“Actually, I think I’m going to make that a club vote.”
He inclined his head. “Fine. Let’s visit Crash, now.”
What is this? My eyes scanned for Julia, but she was nowhere to be seen. I couldn’t hear her in the apartment. It was as if she wasn’t there. A horrible feeling struck me with so much pain that I wanted to crumple on the floor.
“Where is she? I’m not leaving until I know she’s safe.”
He smiled at the fear trembling my voice. “She’ll come with us. Julia!”
I finally heard her light footsteps, but tension gripped my body. Her naked body stepped into the room, her blonde hair in tatters and her arm covering her breasts. Dried blood covered her side and there were angry, red welts covering her body.
“You fucking bastard.” My lungs constricted as I saw her abused body. I couldn’t fucking stand it. Without thinking, my hands balled into fists.
I’ll smash his fucking face in.
“Julia, come here.” I beckoned her.
Something strange happened to her, something beyond the physical abuse. She didn’t look at me. Her gaze fixed on the floor, her shoulders curled forward in defeat.
“Julia, answer him,” Cain’s voice snapped.
“No.”
What? I saw her lips form the word, but I didn’t believe. My body went cold as she limped towards Cain. The sick bastard wrapped an arm around her shoulders as if he was her protector.
“Julia, you’ll be safe. It’s okay.”
Her watery blue eyes stared out from under her wild hair at me. “No!” She clutched at his chest as if I was the monster. What in the hell did he do to her?
It was like someone stabbed me in the chest. “Let’s go to the club.”
He bent his head towards her as he stroked her skin. I was so furious; I wanted to lunge at him from across the room. He had no right to touch her. That beautiful woman who made me feel alive for the first time in years was dead inside. She was gone.
“Go put on some clothes.”
She nodded and slipped from his arms to disappear in the bedroom.
Cain gathered his wallet and keys as if beating women was the most normal thing in the world. I couldn’t let him out of my sight. Once the guys saw her, they would make Cain let her go. I knew it. He was just too fucking crazy to understand that.
We went downstairs and it sickened me to see Julia climb behind Cain on his bike. I clenched my teeth as she wound her arms around his waist.
She should have been mine from the beginning.
The guys were just as surprised as I was when Cain walked into the club with Julia and I in tow. She spun her blonde head around to look at me with a wide-eyed expression, like she was trying to say something. I took that as a sign that maybe not all was lost.
The music dropped in the club as Crash spun from his chair to stare at Cain and I.
“You’re not supposed to be out.”
I scanned the members, my senses on overdrive. Pike and River hung casually on the bar, frighteningly close to Crash.
What the fuck?
A gentle touch around my wrist made me pause. Julia’s petrified face shook from side to side and her fingers dropped from my wrist.
Don’t go.
Why? I wanted to ask her. What’s wrong?
“Yes, I know. It turns out the precinct is very receptive to certain—ah, persuasions.”
He probably threatened to behead the whole precinct. Fucking perfect.
Crash stood up suddenly. “Are you out of your fucking mind? We don’t threaten cops. We don’t need that kind of heat.”
The whole club seemed to be listening in. The only sounds were the fans overhead, humming lazily.
“I was out of my mind to think that I could trust you. You put me in jail for weeks. The VP of this club.”
“Not anymore,” Crash chuckled harshly. “I’ll be damned if I let you run this club into the ground.”
My shoulders tensed as they faced off. Unconsciously, I stepped in front of Julia. “Guys, let’s go into the office and settle this.”
Cain’s blonde head turned to stare at me. He smirked at Crash as he turned back around. “Settle this. Yeah, let’s do that.”
It was over before I could even blink. Seve
ral loud bangs exploded as Cain whipped his gun from his side and suddenly Crash was bleeding on the floor. Club whores screamed and half the club drew their weapons. Pike and River aimed their guns at me as I rushed towards Crash, who screamed in pain.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I screamed at the two men blocking my way.
“If you try to help him, we’ll shoot.”
Several men I knew who were close to Crash elbowed their way to Cain, who regarded their red, shaking faces with little more than a glance.
“I’ll fucking kill you!”
Members of Cain’s group stepped in and raised their arms. BAM. BAM.
Both of them fell to the floor with dark holes in their chests.
Helpless, I watched Cain step over Crash, who moaned on the floor. He had been shot twice; I couldn’t tell where. His blood spilled around Cain’s boots.
“Fucking traitor.” The old man stared up at the monster he helped create—the monster who turned on him.
“This was always going to happen, Crash. It’s nothing personal.”
He raised the gun.
“NO, DON’T!”
The whole club was in an uproar. A deafening bang silenced Crash’s groans and I sank to my knees as the only man who ever cared about me died in front of me. His wet eyes sought mine and suddenly froze. A bubble of blood grew from his lips and burst. Cain laughed at it. His laughter rang in my ears, along with the gunshot that ended Crash’s life.
“This is fucked up!”
Several shots blasted through the bar and I turned around, shoving Julia to the floor. Several guys beside me overturned a table, shooting at Cain and his posse, who ducked behind the bar. The death of the President made all of them unsure. Who the fuck do I shoot? Who’s my enemy?
Those still loyal to Crash fired at Cain, picking off members of his close-knit circle, but they were almost just as deadly. Cain blasted anyone who was close enough with the shotgun he picked up behind the bar. I spotted Boomer, Max, and Tank, ducking cover under a table, their guns drawn. Like everyone else, they looked confused.
I picked up Julia and yanked her outside. A bunch of us streamed out of the club, away from the gunfire. But where? Where would we go?
Julia’s whitened face stared at mine. “What the hell is going on?”
