by Claire Adams
“Hey.” Her voice was as sweet as cotton candy.
“Hi.”
“So, I was thinking of maybe stopping by the store when I got off. Is there anything in particular you might like?”
“No, don’t do that,” I said, a little too quickly.
“Is something wrong? Are you busy?”
“No,” I said.
“You sound upset.”
“I’m fine. Just head over when you get off.”
“Okay, I’ll see you soon.”
I walked downstairs to see Andrew and Haylie playing in the living room. She’d taken to standing up on the furniture, and Andrew struggled to get her down without making her scream. “Haylie, come here.’’
“No.” She wrapped her arms around her chest.
“Do it.” He stepped closer, and her face clenched up. “Don’t you dare.”
She sobbed.
“No, it’s okay. It’s okay.” He rushed forward and grabbed her. She threw her head back and exploded.
I walked in, trying not to laugh. When she saw me, she stopped crying right away. “Down.” She pointed at the ground. He set her down, and she ran up to me with her arms outstretched so she could latch herself on my leg. “Uncle! Uncle!” She jumped up and down.
“Aww,” I said and ducked down to pick her up. “You are the sweetest thing.”
“She is.” Andrew came up.
“Thank you for coming.”
“I’m glad to be here, but you,” he took a step back, “you look like you’re going to have a heart attack.”
“That’s exactly how I feel, but I can’t think about that right now. I’m having fun with Haylie.” I gave her a smile, and she winked at me.
“I love you, Uncle.” She wrapped her tiny arm around my neck and rested her cheek on mine.
“She thinks you’re Santa Claus.” Andrew sat down on the couch.
“That’s because I’m nicer than Mommy and better-looking than Daddy.” I sat down on the other side of the couch, and she rested her head on my shoulder. “How is Elizabeth?” I asked.
“Once I started doing little things, like cooking and all, she quieted down. I’m not sure if it’s going to work. You know how stubborn she can be, but I’m not giving up.”
“Good, you love her. You should fight for her.”
“Thank you,” he said. “Really, I thought you’d be overjoyed when you found out.”
“No, I want you to be happy, and I know you feel the same way about me.”
“I do,” he sighed. “You don’t want to go outside?”
“No, her mother’s out there, and she’s a worrier. I don’t need any more worry right now.” My phone vibrated. “Just a second.” I handed Haylie to Andrew and walked back into the other room. “Hello?”
“Sir, there’s a black van out here.”
“What’s their name, Rico?”
I waited while he called over the radio to find out who it was. “Armando, sir.”
“Armando?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I need you to find out who is in that van and why they’re here. Then I want you to call me back, and remind me to cut your pay.” I hung up.
Andrew had set Haylie down on the couch, and she was starting to fall asleep. He put a finger over his lips, then got up to meet me halfway. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine.”
“What happened?”
My phone vibrated again. “One second.” I whipped it out. “Hello?”
“Sir, it’s the dad.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“I asked you to remind me to do something. What was that?”
“Come on. Do I really have to say it?”
“Are you going to do this again?”
“No, sir.”
“Good, send him around back.” I hung up.
“I’m having trouble with my guard. He won’t tell me the names of anyone coming.”
“Hah!” Andrew slapped his knees. “You are screwed.”
“No, I’m not,” I sighed.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Mercedes
Brenda was in her office talking to a young woman who came in with a swollen eye. I didn’t want to hear any of it. I didn’t like to think about that kind of thing, but I could hear her sobbing in the office. There was something unsettling about that sound. It was like listening to a precious vase break over and over again.
Brenda’s computer was completely worthless. It had a paint program, a text writer, and solitaire. I could never fully understand solitaire. Everyone thought I was a complete idiot because of it, but it was hard. I didn’t know what was going on, and they didn’t give out instructions, so I tried to distract myself by doodling.
I’d gotten quite good at it. I was halfway through a rose made of black and red blocks when the door opened, and the girl walked out. I gave her a quick, sympathetic smile before she walked out, then turned around to see Brenda standing behind me with her hands on her hips. “You got back with him.”
“What? No, dear God, no.”
“Yes, you did. I see you on the phone talking out there on break. You foolish little girl. Did you see that?” she motioned towards the door.
“Yeah, I did.”
“So? What are you doing?”
“I made a mistake.”
“Don’t give me that crap.”
“Brenda, did I tell you what happened?”
“No.” She seemed defensive.
“So, you don’t know anything about him, right?”
“Well…”
“And you’re trying to get me to make a major life decision. Why?”
“Because I saw you crying in my office, and you told me that everything I said was true. It hit home, didn’t it?”
“I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“Is that what he told you?” she asked.
“I’m doing the right thing, and I know it’s not something you can accept. You see a lot of battered women, but I’d like you to leave it alone and allow me to make this decision. And trust that it won’t affect my ability to perform my job.”
“What am I supposed to do when you start coming in looking like a bag lady again?”
“Can you wait until it happens? Please?”
She took a deep breath. “I mean, it’s not right. Deep down, you have to know that.”
“I’m not the girl you think I am, Brenda. I can smell men like that a mile away.”
“I don’t trust it, but you’re a good receptionist, and you haven’t given me any real trouble. Just don’t cry in the middle of the lobby.”
“I won’t. Thank you.” I went back to my computer, and she walked outside to have her cigarette. She was a good woman, but she’d been jaded by years of bad love and resentment. I’d been working on avoiding that ever since I found out what men had between their legs.
I could catch a drunk or a douche a mile away. None of that crap got past me. I knew who I was with, and I was secure with my relationship.
I checked the time on my phone. It was almost 5, and I was starving. Jake had been taking me out every night, and each place was better than the next, but I was tired of running around. I wanted to spend time at the house, maybe watch a movie, or have dinner out on the veranda. It was better that way, nobody to come between us or interrupt us while we were eating. We could just be together.
I decided to give him a call. “Hello?” It sounded like I caught him by surprise.
“Hey.”
“Hi.” His voice was shaking. Something was wrong.
I didn’t want to think about it. I just wanted our night together. Anything else would have to take a backseat. “I was thinking of maybe stopping by the store when I got off. Is there anything in particular you might like?”
“No, don’t do that.”
“Is something wrong? Are you busy?”
“No,” he said.
“You sound upset.” My hands trembled.
“I’m fine. Just head over when you get off.”
“Okay, I’ll see you soon.” I hung up and set the phone down, hoping to keep Brenda from seeing, but she was already through with her cigarette and walking inside.
“See, they can flip in a moment, and you’ll never know what they’re going to do.”
“I’m not having this conversation.” I turned back to my rose painting and began adding a green stem at the base.
Brenda leaned over the desk. “Something happened. I can tell. You’re already starting to spiral.”
“I know when to run and when to stay. I’ve never had a problem before.”
“Fine.” She walked into her office and slammed the door.
I knew that if I started doubting Jake, then I’d just end up working myself into another frenzy. I couldn’t allow that. I almost left him the last time. I broke his heart twice. Now I was jumping to all sorts of conclusions—drugs, hit men, Becky.
Something was happening. Jake wasn’t easily scared. So far as I knew, I’d never seen him afraid at all. In fact, he’d done some pretty ballsy things. If he was worried, then I should’ve been petrified, and I was. Whatever was happening involved me. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have told me to come. He would’ve kept me as far away as he could.
Instead, he was lying, acting like everything was fine and trying to lure me into his home. Why? I knew he’d never give me an explanation. When he got something in his head, he didn’t give up on it. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go there unless I knew what was happening. He sounded so upset. This wasn’t right.
Brenda went back and forth between her office and her pile of cigarette butts outside. Every time she came in, she gave me a knowing smile, and every time she did, I felt my carefully composed confidence wearing away.
I loved him, and he loved me. That was all I knew. It had to be enough. It kept me there, and drove me into his arms. It washed away my doubt and grief and put me in that place where we could just be together. I needed to be in that place now. It was the only place I felt truly comfortable.
I decided that I would drive straight there after work. If something was wrong with him, I needed to know what it was. If it was bad, and I couldn’t handle it, I’d walk away. If it was bad, and I could handle it, I would stay by his side.
I finished my rose and checked the time. I could already hear Brenda moving around in her office. It was time for me to go. This was starting to get ridiculous. I knew I’d never get a second’s peace unless I knew what was happening, and I didn’t want to just go down there without knowing what I was walking into.
When Brenda showed me out and locked up, I walked outside and pulled out my phone. I felt drained, like I was coming down from a sugar high, and that ache behind my eyes was getting worse. What if this was it? What if something happened, and I had to walk away?
I dialed his number and listened as the phone rang and rang. Then it went to voicemail. I kept the phone to my ear and listened for a moment. I was shocked. He’d never gone without answering my calls before, even when he wasn’t working.
I decided to text him. “Jake, what’s going on?”
I leaned against the front wall while I waited for him to respond, but as the minutes passed by with no response, I started to think that he wasn’t going to answer me at all. That didn’t make any sense.
I tried calling him again while I walked back to my car, but he didn’t answer. He didn’t answer the next call either. I peeled out of the lot and onto the freeway. The drive was slow. Traffic was terrible, and I was tense. I kept checking my phone to make sure he wasn’t texting me or trying to call.
This wasn’t okay. Something was wrong. I could feel it. He could be in trouble or sick. Maybe Tony was there with a gun to his head, trying to find out where I was. I didn’t know, and the uncertainty was enough to drive me over the edge.
Once I finally got off the freeway, I gunned it, driving through lights and into the back streets. I had to get there as fast as possible, just to make sure that he was okay. But I still didn’t feel safe. Whatever this was, it was big.
When I pulled up to the gate, the guard walked out of his hut. I rested my hand on the stick. He was younger and bald, with tattoos running down his neck and a teardrop under his eye. He didn’t seem to belong there. He looked me up and down, then walked back into his hut to pull out his phone.
I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I could see him through the front window. His lip was curled up, and he yelled. He slammed his fist down on the table behind the window, hung up the phone, then ran out of the booth. “Who are you?” he demanded.
I faltered and looked him over. I didn’t want to tell him my name at all.
“Look, lady, if you don’t tell me your name, you’re going to have to leave.”
“If you don’t know who I am, you don’t belong here.” I pressed on the brake and put the car in reverse.
He moved closer, his hand resting over his gun. “You need to leave.”
“You need to call Jake right now and tell him that you’re refusing me entry.”
“I need your name.” He stepped closer, close enough for me to catch the scent of his joint.
“Mercedes.” I met his eye. “And you just lost your job.”
It didn’t seem like he cared at all. He just walked back to the guard booth and gave me the finger when I drove past. That scared me more than anything else. Jake wouldn’t let a man like that work for him. He would’ve run him off the property a long time ago.
I looked around while I drove up to the house. A black van sat in front with tinted windows. I slammed on the brake and stared at the van. It didn’t look right at all. It looked like the kind of van people get dragged into in the movies.
There’d be three thugs with zip ties and assault rifles, ready to throw my body in a lake. I had to leave, and I had to do it right away. That guard already told them that I was there, which meant that if I didn’t leave now, I’d probably be killed.
I backed the car up and turned it around just as a car turned into the drive and started heading straight for me. There was no time to check back, the gate was closing, and that thug was standing on the other side, laughing.
It closed just in time for me to slam on the brakes. My phone started ringing. “Hello?”
“Hey, what just happened?” Jake asked.
“You scared the living shit out of me earlier, and now you’ve got a convict working your gate. Did you tell him to lock me in?”
I heard the sound of gravel crunching behind me and screamed. “Jake, what’s going on?”
A hand rested on my shoulder, and I jolted. When I turned back, Jake was standing behind me wearing a white tuxedo. “Could you trust me for a moment?”
“I’m ready to leave. You have gone way too far.” I got out of the car to confront him. “You freaked me the fuck out. Now you won’t tell me what’s going on, or why you’re acting like this, and I’m trapped. Unless I find a way to climb that gate, I can’t leave.”
He hesitated. “Trust me, Mercedes. Just this once.” He took my hand. “I need you to trust me.”
“Why? Why can’t you tell me what’s happening, and what is that guy doing at the gate? He’s blazed out of his mind.”
“Is he?”
“Yes,” I said.
“No wonder.” He shook his head in consternation. “Please, don’t leave yet.”
“I want an explanation.”
He ran off and started yelling at the guard, then pointed down the road. The guard was furious, red in the face, but he did as he was told and left. When Jake came back, he was drenched in sweat, and he couldn’t look me in the eye.
“I want an explanation.”
“You don’t trust me?” he asked.
I took a deep breath. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t?” his voice quivered.
“I just don’t know what’s going on.”
“Can you please come with me? I’m no
t gonna do anything to you, Mercedes.”
“I’m sorry, Jake, but this is weird. I don’t get it.”
“Trust me, please.”
I wanted to trust him, but I was so scared. I didn’t even know why I was scared, but something was happening, and I didn’t know what it was. I wasn’t comfortable with the uncertainty, and he wasn’t okay. He was pale and sweating, and strands of his hair had fallen down his forehead.
He looked at me with that intense gaze of his, as if he were trying to see right through me, but I was closed off. I didn’t like this. He knew that I didn’t like this, so why was he doing it? I had to know.
“What’s that van?”
“The van?” he asked.
“Yeah, why is there a creepy mafia van outside your house?”
“Mafia vans aren’t wheelchair accessible.”
“Fine.” I got back in the car. “But I’m driving myself up to the house, and I want that gate left open.”
“Okay.” He was visibly upset when he turned back and got into his car. I could see him staring at me through the rearview mirror when he started it up. He didn’t stop staring. Every few seconds, he’d look up with wide eyes. Every look got sadder and sadder until I felt like I’d just murdered a puppy.
He stopped the car in front of the house and waited for me. When I got out of the car, he rushed up and reached out for my hand. “Come with me,” he said.
I didn’t have any choice but to take his hand and let him lead me through the door into the foyer. I stopped to look around. Everything was red and white. Rose vines wrapped the banister, flower displays bloomed in all the corners, and a carpet of petals led through the living room.
He wrapped his arm around mine and led me through toward the back door. “Close your eyes,” he said before we got in view.
“Okay.” I shut them, and he led me out onto the veranda. I could feel the light growing dimmer when we stepped outside. The sun must’ve been setting, and the air was cool.
“Mercedes, open your eyes.”
Jake was on his knees holding a black, crushed velvet box out to me. He opened it with trembling hands, revealing the ring inside. “Mercedes.” He looked me right in the eye. “When I first saw you, I knew that I needed a woman like you in my life. Then you showed up at my door, and I can’t stand the thought that someday you might turn around and leave me. I love you—so much. Will you please do the honor of being my wife?”
