by Claire Adams
The contentment didn’t last long. As we walked, we both caught sight of Jared. He was lingering near the mailboxes, giving us a glare icier than the snowy ground. I grew nervous, desperately hoping that an altercation would not occur. Sawyer looked at me, confused, but I didn’t want to address him right then.
I thought for a moment that we should have been using a different entrance. Not only to hide Sawyer from the landlord, but so that I could have avoided Jared. I needed to remember that in the future. We were already almost to my apartment, there was no point in trying to sneak in a new way now.
We passed Jared. No one said anything to each other. I let out a sigh of relief as we ascended up the stairs to the second floor, believing somehow that we were okay.
Sawyer waited until we were inside the apartment with the door closed to speak his mind.
“I recognized that guy mean-mugging us,” he said. “I’ve seen him around the apartment complex for, like, the past year. Never spoken to him.”
I received a text message, and my heart immediately sank. It was from Jared. I couldn’t read it right away.
“You’ve lived here awhile,” he continued. “Do you know that guy at all?”
My instinct was to lie. I didn’t want any part of my day with Sawyer to be tarnished by memories of Jared.
“Honesty,” I heard Sawyer’s voice echo in my head.
“We used to date,” I said to Sawyer. “We were in a serious relationship, actually, for a little while.”
“Whoa,” said Sawyer. “Were you two living together?”
“Sort of,” I answered. “He basically lived here. He was always here, or I was always down the hall at his place.”
“So, I have more with you now than he had with you,” he remarked, chuckling to himself. “Interesting.”
“He never asked if he could live with me. I would have said yes.”
He licked his lips, nodding his head while he processed what I told him. I looked at the first portion of Jared’s text: “Since we’re being open and everything, I just thought you should know I…”
I stared at the text notification, partly wanting to read it and partly hoping that it would magically disappear off my phone without a trace before I could get the chance to read whatever hurtful words he chose.
“I didn’t know you two were together,” said Sawyer. “When did you split?”
“A few days before you showed up at my door, actually,” I said.
I did what I knew I shouldn’t have. I opened my phone and read Jared’s lengthy text message, hating every sentence that I read:
“Since we’re being open and everything, I just thought you should know I moved on from you and our sham joke of a relationship. I’m seeing someone now – she’s great and grateful and actually cares about me. Oh and she’s better in bed and knows how to take hints without getting offended. Whatever, Hannah. Like I said, it’s a joke. You’re a joke.”
I hadn’t had time to process his first text before another came and attacked me:
“Women respect me. I can be with anyone, not just with ANOTHER fucking neighbor in this goddamn excuse for an apt complex. Are you that lonely and desperate? Are you that unable to find a man that you’ll just fuck literally the first guy you see? YOU’RE a joke, and you’ll probably get STDs.”
And then, another: “I don’t get why he’s fucking you with all the pussy he gets. He must feel trapped. I know I did. Bye forever, Hannah! It wasn’t nice while it lasted!”
“What’s up?” Sawyer asked me. “What’s going on?”
Nearly a minute had passed since I read Jared’s first text. Sawyer had probably been trying to talk to me, but I was unable to divide my attention. My eyes grew wet, and my body felt weak. I didn’t know whether to reread the messages again or whether to throw my phone against the wall.
A third option presented itself in the form of Sawyer. He approached me timidly, showing signs of caring and compassion. I didn’t know why I felt okay with it, but I handed him my phone, with Jared’s texts still open and able to be read.
Sawyer was growing angrier with each new sentence he read. I wiped my eyes and wondered what was going on in Sawyer’s head.
Chapter Fourteen
Sawyer
I told myself that what I should have been mad about was the little shithead’s comments about me and my sex life, as if he had a fucking clue. I told myself that the anger that was brewing inside of me could have been a result of him ruining what would have otherwise been a fantastic night. I even briefly speculated that I was mad because the promise of sex was fading more and more out of reach.
But it wasn’t any of those things. I didn’t care what he had to say about me because I didn’t know him. I was mad at how he talked to Hannah.
I decided not to ponder why I was mad about it and instead I focused on the problem and started thinking of ways to try and solve it. My first instinct was to walk down the hall and kick his ass.
I gave Hannah her phone back. I put my first instinct on the back burner and tried to think rationally.
“I’m sorry,” she said to me.
“What for?” I asked.
“What he said about you.”
“I don’t give a fuck what he said about me. He shouldn’t talk to you like that.”
“Well, he’s not my boyfriend anymore, so…”
I was fuming. And it bothered me that I was fuming.
“When it comes to me and Jared… I’ve come to expect texts like that,” she said. She rubbed her eyes. I couldn’t tell if she was crying or if she just wanted to rub them.
I took a deep breath. “What happened with you two? Why is he so pissed? He didn’t like seeing you with me?”
“Probably,” she said.
I glanced out the window, wondering if Jared was still by the mailboxes.
“I got a text from him a few days before New Year’s,” she informed. “It said, ‘Usual place and time?’ Then, he sent me another that said, ‘Can’t wait to see my fiery chick.’ There was a winky-face at the end, too.”
“‘Fiery chick?’” I said.
“I don’t know,” she said before continuing. “I texted him back, asking him what he was talking about. He didn’t text back for two hours. But, when he did, he just blew it off as a text to the wrong number. I pressed him on it, but he never took it seriously; he always acted like it was just a joke or that I was being too paranoid. So, I did what he asked and tried to move on.
“But once I began to question him to myself, I couldn’t stop. I realized that he was always busy at odd times—the same odd times on the same days, with no explanation. Then, towards the end, I started noticing that he sometimes…”
“What?” I asked, urging.
“His clothes sometimes smelled like perfume,” she finished.
“I take it that it wasn’t your perfume that you were smelling,” I assumed.
“Correct. Then, it was New Year’s Eve. We were partying, and we were drunk. I pressed him on it again, and he finally admitted to sleeping with another woman.”
I wanted to ask ‘Why?’ but that felt like a stupid question. Instead, I kept fuming.
“He said he was bored with me,” she continued. “He accused me of not being ‘a real woman,’ so I broke up with him.”
I nodded, processing everything she told me. I looked out the window again.
“I’m sorry,” she said again. “The night’s ruined now. I’m so sorry. Sawyer, I had a great time tonight, really. Thank you for taking me out.”
She did something I hadn’t expected and kissed me on the cheek. She walked off towards the bathroom, carefully shutting the door behind her.
I wasn’t sure how she would react if I told her how badly I wanted to kick Jared’s ass up and down the hallway. She made it seem like displays of that nature wouldn’t impress her. But then again, I thought maybe she would appreciate that I wanted to stand up for her.
I had gotten into physical altercatio
ns before, some worse than others. I never started a fight, but I was good at finishing them. I knew that I could beat Jared beyond recognition if I really wanted to…
She knows you could kick this guy’s ass, I thought. Don’t overreact. Don’t give this shithead the power. Let him be jealous.
But, despite my thoughts and my attempts at keeping myself calm, I was unsuccessful. I looked toward the closed bathroom door, and then I looked out the window. And then, suddenly, as if he knew we were talking about him, Jared trudged by the window. I couldn’t tell if he had tried looking in to spy on us or not. It didn’t matter.
I threw the front door open and slammed it shut. Part of me wanted to keep quiet so that Hannah wouldn’t know or see what I was about to do. However, another part of me did want her to know and to see. Her pain was what initially motivated me, but I was also partially motivated by wanting to impress her, to show her that a man was willing to stick up for her and not let someone spew shit on her like Jared had. I was also partially motivated by own ego, which hadn’t been fed a good meal in days.
I marched towards apartment 222. I happened to catch Jared before he could finish unlocking his front door.
“Hey!” I called out to him.
Jared looked back at me, shooting me a quick glare before he started fumbling with his keys, suddenly unable to let himself into his own place.
“Hold on a second, pal; where’s the fire?” I asked him.
Jared shook his head, avoiding turning back around. He stopped fumbling with his keys altogether once he realized that I was standing only a few feet behind him.
“You gonna turn around, or do I have to turn you around myself?” I asked.
Slowly, he turned. The glare he gave me then was not nearly as piercing as the ones he gave before, which suggested to me that he didn’t want to fight. I saw my reflection in the glasses that he wore on his head. I had such an urge to form a fist and shatter those glasses. He could tell I wanted to hurt him.
“I don’t think starting a fight would go over well for you,” Jared said to me. “You’re not even supposed to be here anymore, right? Didn’t the landlord kick you out months ago?”
Instead of forming a fist, I formed an unnatural smile. My goal was to frighten him, and considering how wide his eyes were becoming, I felt that my goal was being reached. I took a step back, and I began to stretch.
“I want you to leave Hannah alone,” I said to him. “You’re not going to call or text her; you’re not going to make her feel uncomfortable whenever you go lurking around the building, and… you’ll mind your own business. What do you think?”
He took a deep breath, letting out a stream of cold air. “I think you should mind your business,” he said.
“It becomes my business when you say what you did.”
“Why? Because she’s been your girlfriend for a grand total of… a week? She was my girlfriend for six months. She doesn’t want you; she’s still hung up on me.”
I let out a legitimate laugh. “The same way your fictional girl is into you and your ‘great sex?’ You’re not sleeping with another woman. I don’t buy it for a second.”
Jared let out a legitimate laugh, nodding and smiling. “If you only knew.”
“Sex dolls, pocket-pussies, and Fleshlights don’t count,” I said. “Liar.” I waited for a response and got none. “And she’s not my girlfriend. I’m not dating her—or anyone else for that matter. Same as you.”
“It takes one to know one,” said Jared. “You can say I’m lying all you want. I know what kind of person you are. If you only knew how many times Hannah would complain about you and the sad, obvious show that you like putting on for the entire apartment complex. You’re a whore to her, dude. I don’t know how you finagled your way into her apartment, but I know you must have lied to do it. She’s appalled by you.”
I had been called a player. I had been accused of many things by many girls, and some of them had tried to cripple me with intense insults aimed to shatter my ego the way that I wanted to shatter Jared’s glasses…
Yet, for some reason, it was from the mouth of an asshole that I gave less than a shit about, and the supposed words and feelings from a woman that I had yet to bed, that I felt a surge of sadness. It hurt me to think that Hannah felt that way. I didn’t know if I was angrier with Jared for being the messenger or at myself. I became flustered.
“I’m going to start over and rephrase what I said to you slightly,” I said to Jared. “But make sure you’re still listening.
“You are going to leave Hannah alone. If you call or text her, I’m going to take your phone and shove it so far up your ass, your small intestine will have to take your calls from that day forward. If you make her uncomfortable or try to intentionally cause her unhappiness or dismay…”
He stared at me, unblinking. He was trembling, and I knew it wasn’t from the cold.
“…well, I’ll leave that to your imagination,” I finished. “Really, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll just get out. Just leave, Jared, preferably as soon as possible.”
He gave me an unnatural smile. “You’re the one who gets evicted, and yet I’m the one who should go? That math doesn’t add up… whatever your name is.”
“My name is Sawyer, and you don’t want to know more about me because that means you’re doing something wrong. How about you behave, and we won’t have to have interactions like this ever again. Got it?”
“I don’t bend over for bullies,” he said. “I don’t know what Hannah’s told you, but I don’t think you want to fuck with me too bad, meathead. Back the fuck off.”
I took another step forward, relishing in the instant fear that overcame him.
“If you keep trying to hurt her, I’ll hurt you,” I whispered to him. “And, I won’t have to try. You’ll be saying my name so many times, I’ll make you my little whore.”
Jared gulped.
“Now..,” I said, “go inside before you catch a cold. See ya’, Jared. Well… actually, I hope I don’t see you. You should hope that, too.”
I gave him a wink. Before I could take more than a single step back to Hannah’s, he scurried into his apartment, slamming the door shut so loudly that it echoed across the entire complex.
Before I could open Hannah’s door, she was already opening it for me. I expected annoyance from her, but instead, she looked stoic. Her bright blue eyes blinked rapidly as she looked at me.
“You didn’t have to do that,” she said.
“Were you watching from afar?” I asked her.
“I didn’t hear everything, but yes.”
I walked into the apartment, plopping down on the couch. She locked the door and closed the curtains over the windows.
“I thought I loved him,” she said with her back to me.
“You don’t have to explain, Hannah. It’s cool,” I said.
She joined me on the couch, sitting as far from me as possible.
I cleared my throat. “He doesn’t deserve a woman like you. He’s a piece of shit. Real men don’t lie or go against their promises. Fuck him and fuck what he thinks.”
To cut the tension and the silence, I turned the TV on. I had only enough time to channel-surf before she said something that caught me completely off-guard.
“I have to ask you something. What are the… limits… of our bet?”
Chapter Fifteen
Hannah
The look on Sawyer’s face was priceless. He looked startled, confused, nervous, and horny all at the same time. I was hoping I would catch him off guard, but I hadn’t expected the question to render him so effectively flabbergasted.
“…What do you mean by ‘limits’?” he asked me.
“Well…” I began. “The bet was about whether or not you could get me to have sex with you. I’m wondering what falls under the perimeters of ‘sex.’”
He was thinking quicker than I had ever witnessed him think before.
“Um… I meant sexual intercou
rse,” he said.
“Right—”
“The bet was that I could get you to have sex with before a month’s time,” he reiterated. “I didn’t specify about…anything else.”
“Are you open to expanding the terms of our bet?” I asked.
“Yes, yes, absolutely, yes,” he said.
“Okay…”
I decided to let him stew for a few moments. It wasn’t that I wanted him to suffer or leave him hanging, but I was finally feeling a sense of what Lisa had said before: I felt in control. I realized that it wasn’t just Sawyer who was slowly gaining power over me, but I too had significant power over him. I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy what I was doing to him at that moment. The only thing missing from Sawyer’s expression at that moment was a hanging, drooling mouth.
“No sex in any form,” I said finally. “That means no oral or vaginal sex.”
“That’s fair,” he said.
“We should keep our clothes on below the waist,” I said, imagining the risks we’d be taking if we both were without underwear. “To avoid temptation.”
“Of course. But, what about above the waist?”
“Case-by-case basis?” I suggested.
“Sounds good to me,” he said. It looked like he was thinking of taking his shirt off. Thankfully, he didn’t.
“We can kiss… but we can’t kiss each other inappropriately,” I said.
“I don’t think anything is inappropriate. You might want to specify what you mean by that,” he said.
“We don’t kiss each other’s chests, thighs, or what we have between our thighs,” I clarified.
“What about the neck?” he asked. “Or legs, but no thighs?”
“Neck, yes. Legs, no,” I said.
“Fair enough. So, I can’t kiss your breasts, but what’s our policy on touching?”
I instinctively looked down at my chest, imagining how good it would feel to have his strong, capable hands caress and rub them. Can you control yourself?
“…Let’s say that goes by a case-by-case basis, too.”
