by Claire Adams
“Of course I trust you! But I feel like I am putting way too much pressure on you with all this money business. You are 20 years old; how can I expect you to come up with 40,000 more dollars just like that? Especially if your loan got denied. Oh, those rascals! You actually work at the bank and they would still deny you.”
“It’s okay, Mom, it really is. We will figure something out, you know I will. Please don’t worry about this for now. It’s late, go to bed, I will call you soon and we will make a plan. Everything is going to be alright.”
“As long as you are okay, honey,” she said, sounding apologetic. “I am so sorry about all this.”
“Don’t be! I am fine and if I can’t even help out my mom when she needs me, what’s the point of anything?” I asked brightly. “Goodnight, Mom. Sleep well. You are going to be okay. We are going to be okay.”
“Goodnight, baby. I love you.”
“I love you too,” I whispered and hung up, feeling extremely anxious.
Even though I had told her I would figure it out, I had no idea what I was going to do. There were only a couple of days left until the month was over, and if Zayden really had decided to back down, I hadn’t the slightest idea how I was going to get us out of this pickle.
“What is going on?” Stacey, who had been silently listening to my whole conversation, finally spoke.
“What is going on, Stace,” I said sullenly, “Is that I am so very fucked.”
Chapter Six
Zayden
My last encounter with Aria had not been nearly as satisfying as I would have thought. Giving her what she wants did not make me feel the slightest bit better, but rather it made me feel weak; an emotion I had never been able to identify with in my whole life. She had sent me an email afterwards, which I unconsciously chose to ignore. Who cared if she felt guilty about my mother? She hadn’t exactly given me the opportunity to explain myself. I couldn’t help but take this time to make her as anxious and vulnerable as she had made me feel. I fully intended to make the payment to her mother’s hospital, but she didn’t need to know that yet. For another couple of days she could go on without knowing whether I was going to do it or not.
Meanwhile, I had my mom and Gina to deal with, and I figured I would start with Gina, who to her credit, hadn’t told my mother anything. Perhaps for the same fear I had - that she would react in a perfectly irrational manner. And I had come to believe that regardless of the fact that she was a royal pain in the ass, she really did care about my mother.
I had invited her over for breakfast at one of her favorite restaurants, so that the angry phone call wasn’t the last she heard of me. Subtlety was the secret to making sure this ordeal went smoothly from all directions, not that I had definitively decided that I was going to end it.
She arrived about 10 minutes late, looking as though she had been crying. Her eyes were puffy even underneath the multiple layers of makeup, and I felt slightly uncomfortable. Oh well. As long as she didn’t start crying in front of me, it wasn’t my problem.
“Hello,” Gina said, sitting across from me. “I am sorry I’m late, I just–”
“It’s okay,” I said and waved my arm nonchalantly. “Not important. Thank you for coming here, especially after that phone call.”
“Yeah, that phone call, it was really something,” she said and attempted a meek smile. “I have been spending the last few days half hoping you were joking.”
“I wasn’t,” I said and frowned. “For what it’s worth, your deal really did sound tempting and I was seriously considering it. But then you came into my office the other day and put on a show, which I am still paying for.”
“What do you mean?” She looked genuinely surprised. “I wasn’t putting on a show. I was in the area and came by to say hello. I thought we were friends and that was acceptable.”
“We’re not friends, we never were. You know full well why you were there that day, and so do I, so let’s skip all the pretenses, shall we?”
There was a long silence, during which Gina pretended to be surveying the menu intensely. When she eventually looked up to meet my eyes, she said in a barely audible whisper, “I thought there wasn’t anyone else.”
“I thought you didn’t know what I was talking about,” I snapped.
“Look, I did not come in there with the intention of ruining things for you and whoever this girl is. I was, however, curious to find out if there was anyone at all. Because despite of what deal I tried to make with you, I guess some part of me wanted to believe that we could be a real couple one day, which would be impossible if your heart was someplace else.”
“Why? Why do you even care, Gina? You never loved me, by your own admission. And you know what, maybe I would have agreed to whatever you had to say, if I had gotten the chance to explain it to Ar – the girl – before she saw it the way she did. That made the decision for me. You kind of brought this onto yourself, you know?”
She started tearing up upon hearing those words. “Yep, which is why I have spent extra time bawling my eyes out the last few days. I figured it was something like that. But like I said, I wasn’t putting on a show for her, I was just testing to see if you were lying about there not being anyone else.”
“And you caught me, hoorah!” I said angrily. “Hope it was worth it.”
She was openly crying, which made me want to just walk out of the restaurant and never see her again. But I had to be careful, if I wanted my mother on my side.
“Look, I am sorry, Gina. Mostly because for once in our lives, you were being honest with me when you proposed that deal. It was a refreshing change to see you so candid. But I am afraid it can’t work out. I know you need money–”
“More… than… you…realize…” She sniffed tearfully. “I’m losing my house. It was the only thing my parents left for me and it’s getting foreclosed on, and I thought maybe if we could strike up a deal, I could save it, and in return you get peace from your mom. And perhaps when she, you know, passed on, we could go our separate ways and we would both have gotten something out of it.”
“Why didn’t you just say that from the beginning?” I said, a brilliant plan finally playing out in my mind. This was going to be much simpler than I had thought; in fact, I was disappointed in myself for not thinking of this sooner. It was the perfect solution, and I felt a surge of relief spread across my whole body as I spoke again, “I will make you a deal. Another one, but I think you will be quite pleased.”
After explaining to her that I would pay for her house if she signed the divorce papers, she looked considerably cheerful, and was almost too eager to accept.
“Thank you, Zayden! You are actually a pretty good guy, you know?” She said, wiping her face with the napkin on the table.
“No need to fawn all over me, I am doing this because I have something to gain from it as well. Pull something like you did in my office the other day again – or do anything at all to upset me and the deal is off.”
“I won’t! I will be gone forever, Zay, if that is what you want.”
After another few minutes of hearing the needless words of gratitude, I paid the check and got up to leave.
“Just one question, Zayden, before you leave,” Gina said right as I was inching towards the door. “And it is personal so don’t feel obligated to answer. I am just really curious because I have known you for so long, but I have never seen you do so much for just a girl.”
“What are you trying to get at, Gina?” I sighed.
“I don’t know. I am just wondering… are you in love this Aria girl?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea,” I said without thinking and walked away. It was true, love was not something I had ever experienced in my life before, so even if I felt it somehow, I would never recognize it. Nor was there any reason to recognize it. Love was probably just a word invented for the weak in order to justify the extremely stupid things they did. I was neither stupid, nor weak.
---
Next
order of business was dealing with my mother, and if all went as planned, that was bound to be a piece of cake. I still couldn’t get over the fact that this idea hadn’t occurred to me sooner. It was so simple and brilliant. I should have thought of it the day Gina had made me that offer; she only needed money, after all.
Unsurprisingly, my mom came into my room at about 8 that night looking completely horrorstruck.
“I just,” she said almost hyperventilating. “I just got a call from Gina. Oh Zayden, I am so sorry.”
She was obviously on the verge of tears, and for a split second I almost felt guilty for pulling this off.
“What’s wrong?” I asked innocently looking up from my laptop. “Is she okay?”
“She is fine… I think,” my mom said in a shaking voice. “But – but – Zayden, I am sorry for all of this.”
“What do you mean? What are you apologizing for? Is everything okay, Mom?” I was trying hard to sound genuinely curious and concerned, but my insides were jumping in joy; the plan had obviously worked fantastically.
“No, no, no, no!” she exclaimed dramatically. “Nothing is okay, and it’s all my fault. I did this to you. I am so, so sorry, son.”
“For what?” I eyed her quizzically.
She waited a few minutes before speaking, as though her next words held a lot of weight and she wanted to make sure she delivered them in the best possible way.
“Gina, she is,” she halted for a few more seconds. “She is gone, Zay. I am so so sorry. I should have never pushed you towards her like that. This is all my fault!”
“What is your fault? What do you mean she’s gone?” I stood up from my chair, just to make the whole act seem more genuine. “Did she go back home for a bit?”
“No,” she said sounding upset. “She’s gone. Forever. I am so sorry, Zay. She said that she is in love with someone else and she was only staying with you for my sake and it wasn’t fair to anybody. I thought she was joking at first.” She was breathing heavily. “But then… but then…”
“Mom, sit down,” I said, holding her by the shoulders. “Take a deep breath and tell me everything. What did Gina say to you?”
“That she is,” she covered her face in her hands and started crying hysterically. “She is in love with someone else and she thought she could do this for me but she really couldn’t, and to tell you she’s sorry.”
“She didn’t even have the decency to tell me so herself?” I asked, pretending to look disappointed. “And that’s the girl you thought was perfect for me?”
The crying grew louder, and a sinister part of me felt good about the fact that I had managed to manipulate the master manipulator. I was, after all, her son. All that stress she gave me from trying to kill herself; this was but a small payback. And she could never threaten to pull that shit again; as far as she knew, she had caused me great grief by bringing Gina back into my life.
“I am so, so sorry, Zayden. I really thought – I thought she loved you and she would be good for you. I never would have suggested she come back into your life if I knew she would bail on you like this.”
“Just when I was beginning to accept her back into my life too,” I said dolefully. “What have I done to deserve this shit?”
“Nothing,” she said looking up finally. “Nothing at all. This is all my fault, Zay. From now on I will never try to interfere in your life again. I want to be there for you and I have realized that the best way to do so is to leave you be. I am leaving to go back West over the weekend. Unless,” she looked at me hopefully. “Unless I can be there for you in some way by staying? Help you get through the heartbreak.”
“I think you have done enough,” I said. “You meant well and I really appreciate it. But I am hurt right now and need some time alone to recuperate. Is that okay with you?” I added the last bit trying to seem as earnest as possible.
“Of course, but if you need anything at all, I am just a phone call away,” she exclaimed, and hugged me tight.
“I know that, Mom.” I grinned behind her back.
For the first time in my entire life, I had managed to outsmart my mother. And in some ways, I had Aria to thank for it. I was now the ultimate manipulator.
---
Now that most of the issue was taken care of, I began to fully appreciate the situation I was in; it was, in fact, perfect! There were only two days until the next payment needed to be made on Aria’s mother’s hospital bill, and she still did not know whether I was going to make it or not. In other words, I had complete and utter control over how our dynamic proceeded once again. And man, had I missed being in this position.
When I went into work the next day, I didn’t even so much glance at Aria because I wanted to let her continue believing that I was done with her. If she wanted things to be different, she would have to come to me this time. Maybe I would even make her beg… after all, I did suffer a great deal for her sake, and she needed to not only know that, but appreciate it fully so that she would never try and make things difficult for me again.
The few times I did look up towards her booth, I caught her staring at my office, to my great satisfaction. She obviously wanted to run in here and ask me what was going on, especially since I never even replied to her email. Well, she was free to walk in any minute; she just wouldn’t get any prodding from my end.
To my great surprise, she never came in the whole day, and when I saw her begin to leave from work that evening, I almost reached out to her myself. But I had to have better restraint, if things were going to go my way from now on. I couldn’t let my need to talk to her overcome me, since I was trying hard to never show another sign of weakness. Thankfully, I didn’t have to test myself for much longer, because soon after she left the bank, my phone rang. It was her, so I thumbed the Talk button.
“You have decided to speak to me then,” I answered the phone.
She didn’t speak for what felt like almost a whole minute, after which she said, “I sent you an email!”
“How thoughtful,” I said sardonically. “I sit 10 feet away from you.”
“You never wrote back,” she said softly.
“I had nothing to say. What did you want me to say?”
“I don’t know. Our contract. What is going on, Zayden? Just tell me, are we still doing this?”
“Last I remember, you wanted desperately to get out of this contract,” I scoffed. Perhaps I should have stopped; I had already given her enough of a scare, but there was something about the feeling of being powerful that I just could not pass up on.
“That’s not true,” she snapped. “Obviously, if I emailed you asking where you stand on the contract, it means I’m still in.”
“I think,” I said with a triumphant smile. “I think you need to revisit the dictionary in reference to what constitutes the word ‘obvious.’ In no way have you said to me that you want to continue the contract. You need to, I mean.”
“Look, I know what you’re trying to do and I’m not biting. Just skip the games, Zayden. Do you want this or not?”
“What am I trying to do?” I asked pretending to sound surprised. “It’s pretty funny that you think you know something I am supposedly doing that I don’t know myself, don’t you think?”
“You want me to beg,” she said simply. “You want me to tell you just how much I need this and how I will do anything to continue the contract.”
“Well, then?”
“Are you definitely getting rid of your ex?”
“Already done it, thanks to you.”
“Sarcasm?”
“No, not at all!” I exclaimed. “Because you put me in a situation where I had no choice but to end it with her–”
“You had a choice,” she sounded delighted now. “You always have a choice.”
“Aria, don’t be such a smartass. As I was saying, since I had no choice in the matter, I had to come up with a way to end it with Gina in a way that best suited everyone involved. Without that kind of a pressure to get
on this right away, I probably would have been trapped forever.”
“What pressure? I didn’t put any pressure on you!”
“Right,” I scoffed. “None at all. I am not complaining, Aria. You did me quite the favor.”
“So, your mother?”
“She will not be giving me, herself, or anyone else any more trouble.”
“You sound like you murdered her,” she said giggling.
“I wish,” I joked. “I just played her own games against her so she now feels responsible for ruining my life. Petty details, really. But let’s stick to what is important. The contract. You were saying? Something about really, really needing–”
“I didn’t say that,” she said, the defiant tone back. “Your ex is gone, then, that is good news. And how about who I am allowed to speak with?”
“Whoever the hell you want, Aria,” I said earnestly. “As long as I am the only one touching your perfect little body.”
My own words ignited a surge of desire in my body, and by the sudden silence that had befallen on the other end, I suspected it had the same effect on Aria.
“I don’t want anyone else to touch me,” she said eventually. “Isn’t that obvious by now, Zayden? That’s why there never was any reason to be jealous. The fact that you couldn’t see that pissed me off almost as much as your trying to control my life.”
“What, you thought I couldn’t trust you?” I raised my eyebrows in surprise.
“Why else would you put restrictions on who I was talking to?” She asked in a matter-of-fact tone.
“Because I don’t like the thought of stupid assholes mentally undressing you every time they talk to you. And as a stupid asshole who does that every time myself, take it from me, they all do. I have come to think of undressing you – mentally or otherwise – as a privilege that is exclusive to me.”
“Well, you can’t control what other guys think, but nobody else is actually undressing me anytime soon. So you need to calm down, and take out all the controlling clauses from the contract.”
“If there still is a contract,” I said, pushing it only a little bit further. It would all be over soon but I had to have a bit more fun. “Come over the day after tomorrow and we will take it from there. I will make sure that Ned will–”
