by Lace, Lolah
It was summer vacation for my kids. Tess was home but we had decided to live separate lives. She didn’t know I broke both her Uncle Jimmy’s legs. She knew he was in a wheelchair but Tess was not able to put it together. Tess has encountered asshole Mason but never Mafia Mason. It’s different to hear me make a threat but to see me carry one out is a completely different thing.
My little ladybug spent a lot of time with her Aunt Karen. I thought Karen was a good female role model for Hannah. Karen was streetwise and tough. She was classy but he was strong for a woman. I thought that Tess was weak. Sure she had a good reason for being the way she was but I didn’t want my daughter to be a victim. I wanted the kind of daughter that wouldn’t fear shit. I wanted Hannah to be more like me and my family. Hannah was a Rizza. She was tough as nails but I just didn’t want that to change. Hannah playing with dolls and completely jumping out of her tomboy faze scared me.
Hannah adored her cousin Sonia. I remembered how pissed Hannah was when she realized that Sonia’s real name was Masonia. She wished that she was named after me. That’s my ladybug. She loves me. She may be the only girl that loves me. I thought Kari would love me forever but now I wonder what was real and what was fake. I put it all on the line for Kari. I destroyed my marriage for her and she just says I’m done.
Karen had showed up at the front door. She was dropping my Hannah off.
Hannah bounced in the front door. My sister was trailing behind her.
“Hi dad.” Hannah walked up to me and motioned for me to bend down. She wrapped her arms around my neck and give me a kiss on the cheek.
“Ladybug, you smell good.” More like an old lady. I frowned.
“Calm down Mason we were trying on perfume at Macy’s.” Karen added, to ease my mind. Hannah sprinted up the stairs.
“Where’s Sonia?”
“Dropped her at a friend’s. Mason you look like shit.” Such a candid observation.
“I can’t sleep.”
“Take some friggin’ valium.”
“I don’t do drugs.” I flopped down on the couch.
“You look like you do.” She snarked. “So you sleep down here every night?”
“Not every night.” I didn’t have an ideal time to bring it up so I guess this time would have to suffice. “Hey I tried to call Kari.”
“Oh.” Karen sort of shrugged.
“The cell number I have is no longer hers. It belongs to someone else.”
“Okay.”
“I really need to talk to her.”
“Okay.”
Okay I guess I have to kiss her ass to get what I need. “I figured she changed her number. I need to get it. I need to talk to her.”
“You need to or you want to?”
Huh? What difference does that make? “I really need to talk to her.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“I need you to give me her new cell number?”
“You got to be friggin’ kidding me.”
“Karen please.”
“No friggin’ way.”
“Do you have her new number?” I asked just to see if I was barking up the right tree.
“Yes brother, I have Kari’s new number.”
“I knew it. I knew you had her new number, since you’re friends with her.” I couldn’t help the malice and jealous tone that went with my words.
“Yes we’re friends. Yes I have her new number. Why do you care?”
“She changed her number because of me?” I asked but I knew the answer.
“I’m sure she did. We don’t talk about you. But one thing I know for sure is that she’s done with you.”
“I’m not done with her.”
“You are really crazy. Leave her alone. She doesn’t want to have anything to do with you. I can’t blame her. You are a nutcase. You need serious professional help.”
“I love her. Please Karen you have to give me her number.”
“No never. I don’t have to do a friggin’ thing. If you try to take it from me I will kick you in the balls. Don’t friggin’ try me Mason Lorenzo.”
“You’re my sister. You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I was until you ripped her heart out.”
“I saw a ring on her finger when I was at the ballpark.”
“Yeah so.”
“Karen, please tell me. Did she get married?”
“I’m not telling you shit.”
“Karen please tell me. Why are you hurting me?” I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. I knew it was too late. I just knew Kari had run off an eloped. That was a wedding ring on her finger. Even though I had only got a glimpse, I was sure of it.
“Grow up. You’re a spoiled brat even as a man. You can’t have everything you want. You weren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth so why do you act like this? It’s fucked up.”
“Karen, please.”
“Stop it. You’re pissing me off. Leave Kari alone. She has moved on. She didn’t have a choice. Now leave her be.”
Karen stomped her way out of my house. She was extremely perturbed with me. I didn’t really care. I wanted to get that number. The only way I would get the number was the steal it from my sister. My options were limited. The simplest thing was to get ahold of her cell phone and just copy the number from it. How the hell would I ever get inside her purse to get the cell phone?
I could get RJ to help me. I don’t want my nephew to know how ridiculously insane I am for Kari. He thinks I’m over her. He saw me out of control over her once. He doesn’t need to see it again. He would think I was weak. I’m the boss. I can’t let anyone see me all psycho over a woman.
Karen is taking Sonia and Hannah to see Taylor Swift in concert at the United Center on Friday. That would be a grand opportunity for me to get that cellphone out Karen’s purse. I have two days to come up with a plan. I have to separate my sister from her phone.
*****
Getting Kari’s number from Karen wasn’t difficult at all. When my sister came over to pick Hannah up, I sent her upstairs to check on Tess. My reason was that Tess was mad with me. I wanted Karen to see if she was feeling well. It was a lie in a way but not all that deceptive.
Tess was bitter with the dissolution of our marriage. Saving our marriage was not a possibility, too much damage was done.
While Karen was upstairs I took her phone out her purse, went into her contacts and found Kari. I used my own cell phone to snap a picture of the number. I didn’t have time to memorize the number and jot it down. Hannah caught me but I told her not to say anything. My ladybug would never betray me.
I had the number, her number. I got it in a fucked up way but I have it and I’m going to use it. I couldn’t believe I was going to take this leap.
As soon as Karen left with Hannah, I dialed the number. It went straight to voicemail. Leaving a voicemail message was not an option so I just hung up the phone. It’s Friday evening so that’s not a surprise. Kari was never to type to worship her cell. She barely paid any attention to it.
There is always tomorrow. I called again Saturday morning. I didn’t want to call too early but I couldn’t sleep last night having the correct number in my possession. I dreamt of her and I hoped she would be happy to hear from me.
It rang twice before my princess picked up.
“Hello.” She had her self-proclaimed white girl voice on.
“Kari.”
“Who is this?”
“Kari.”
“How did you get my number?” She sighed into the phone.
“Kari.”
“Don’t call me. Leave me alone.”
The phone went dead. Kari just hung up on me. What the fuck? I dialed again and again but she wouldn’t pick up. Fuck me! If she won’t talk to me I will make her. Doesn’t she know by now that I get whatever I want?
I sulked like a big baby. I was angry, confused and sad. I was not going to let that stop me. Monday, I was at her job, in the parking lot, waiting. I saw
her walking to her car and I made my move. I approached her quickly. I didn’t want to startle her but I knew she would be surprised to see me.
“Kari.” My voice came out deeper than I hoped.
She turned as soon as she heard my voice. Her face contorted into a frown. She was still mad at me. I could tell in her body language. Her anger gave me hope. She had some feeling toward me. I didn’t care that it was a negative feeling. It was a feeling nevertheless. The line between love and hate, thin as loose leaf paper.
“Why won’t you leave me alone?” I focused on the wrinkles in her forehead.
“I just want to talk.”
“We have nothing to talk about.” Kari and her eye rolls, I miss them.
“I need to tell you something.” My eyes roamed her body. I had to make sure she wasn’t pregnant. I had to make sure this wasn’t a rush to the altar because she was with child.
“You need to leave me alone. This, you are ridiculous. Go home to your kids and stop stalking me.”
“I’m not stalking you.” Kari’s body was still lean and slender. She had lost a few pounds.
“Really, how did you get my number?” Kari crossed her arms under her chest. I can see her diamond ring.
“Internet background search.” I had my lie ready.
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Fine, don’t talk to me. I’m going to do all the talking.” She rolled her eyes and that was my chance to lay it all on the line. “I know you’re engaged.” Quick observation now that I can see the ring up close. “Congratulations. I know you want to be married. I know you want a family.”
“Wonderful you know it all.”
“Kari. I want you to be happy. I know I have caused you a lot of pain but you are important to me whether we are together or not. I love you, not just in the physical sense. You are my best friend.”
“Find you some more friends.”
“Why are you so mad at me? You moved on. You’re getting married. I’m still stuck in my loveless marriage but you are marrying a man that you told me you love. I don’t understand why you’re so mad at me, especially when I’m not mad at you.”
“I don’t know why I’m mad. I’m just tired of you and your bullshit.”
“No bullshit. I wish you the best. I’m here with a peace treaty in my back pocket. I want us to put the past behind us. I want to be friends. I don’t want it to be awkward when we see each other.”
“I can’t believe anything you say. You lie.”
“That hurts. I have never lied to you.”
“That’s all you’ve ever done.”
“I’m sorry you feel this way. I’m sorry I’ve hurt you so deeply.”
“Are you?”
“Yes of course. You are the one person I never wanted to hurt.”
Kari glanced around the parking lot to see if anyone was watching us. “I don’t want any trouble.”
“I’m not here to give you any trouble. I’m here to give you my best wishes. I’m here to beg for your friendship. I knew that our love affair is over. I sincerely wish you happiness with Jack. I just don’t want to lose you as a friend. I want to be cool. I want us to be cool.”
“We’re cool.”
“No seriously Kari.”
“No seriously Mason.” She was mocking me. She still had anger in her heart toward me.
“I will always love you. I’m not here to interfere. I’m not going to show up at your wedding and make a scene. I just want us to be cool again, cool like before we ever started sleeping together. Can you accept my gesture of friendship?”
Kari was thinking about my speech. I hoped she couldn’t see through the murky haze of bullshit words. I needed her in my life. I didn’t care how she came. If I couldn’t have all of her I would settle for a piece, any piece.
“Kari, say something.”
“What the fuck do you want me to say Mason?”
I took a step toward her. “I want you to be my friend. I want us to be cool.”
“Fine, we’re cool.”
I opened my arms. I needed a hug to seal the deal. I needed to show her I was serious. “Kari.”
She hesitated a moment but she still loves me and I’m still in her system. I’m still the man. The man that made her pussy explode around my cock. She hasn’t stopped loving me. She can lie with her mouth but her pretty brown eyes give her away. She still loves me. Finally she stepped into my arms and into my warm embrace. I inhaled the fresh scent of grapefruit in her hair as I savored the warmth of her body. I relished the feel of her breasts as they pressed into my lower chest. I reminisced on the feel of her creamy insides. It’s not over until the fat lady sings. I offer my friendship today just as a ploy. I will offer my cock in the future and she will accept it just the same.
Kari pulled away from me and I let her. I didn’t want to let her go but I was on a mission.
“I would appreciate knowing that you’re alive and well sometimes. I care about you and Trey. You can always talk to me, always. I don’t care what it’s about. I don’t care what time of day. I will always drop everything to listen to you. Our friendship is important to me, no bullshit.” I was looking into her eyes. I prayed I got my message across loud and clear. “You can talk to me anytime. I support your decision to be with Jack. I think he is the better man for you.”
“Mason. He is the better man for me.”
“I see that now.”
“I want him. Me and you were good together but we were a mistake. I wanted you. I tried to stay away but I’m not stupid. I knew that if I ran from you, you would chase me. We both knew better and we both got ahead of ourselves and our emotions.”
“I agree. It’s the past. We are starting over fresh.” We stood awkwardly in front of each other for a few seconds. “Well I got to go. I just wanted to say congratulations to you. I don’t expect an invite but I’m going to get you an engagement gift.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know but I want to. I will probably be a gift card or something. I will just send it in the mail. It’s not a big deal.”
“Okay.”
I grabbed Kari by her forearms and pulled her toward me for a friendly kiss on the cheek. I faked a smile. I couldn’t believe how well I was acting. I was fucking Leonardo DiCaprio. He is a blonde blue-eyed Italian actor and I’m a blonde blue-eyed Italian actor. I was wigging out. I guess I had watched The Departed so many times I thought I was Oscar worthy. It doesn’t matter. Kari believes my lies and she was all the audience I needed.
JULY
AUGUST
SEPTEMBER
OCTOBER
NOVEMBER, 9th
I had established a platonic friendship with Kari. We managed to talk more than a few times and even go to lunch once a month. I counted the times. Once I gave her an engagement gift and another time I gave her a list of properties in her and Jack’s price range. I told her these homes were built with a higher guard of materials. I told her what to look for in a home because this area was ripe for tornados. I even told her what hotel to choose on her honeymoon. I was the greatest friend ever.
Our encounters were never awkward. We joked and laughed. I made her feel comfortable with me. It was like old times without the nasty hot sex. We laughed and we shared stories but it was clear that out friendship was secret. I was always on my best behavior. I even fooled her into thinking that I had a girlfriend. I think she may have been a little jealous but she hid it well. I told her I had filed for divorce. That was true but Tess and I still lived in the same house.
My celibacy gave me clarity. I still kept an eye on Uncle Jimmy but my anger had subsided. I had months to think about me and Kari.
But today was her wedding day. I had this relationship with her. She promised me that after she left the hair salon she would met me at my new office. I expanded my business and my new place was in an industrial area. I wasn’t open for business quite yet but Kari had been there before when I was looking for a locat
ion.
I had a wedding gift for her. I wanted her to come and pick it up. Kari texted me. She would be here in ten minutes. I knew she would be alone. None of her friends were aware that we had started talking and seeing each other again. This was the final countdown. It was now or never. I vote for now.
I watched the clock. I fidgeted in my chair and for some reason my evil twin was waking up. When she pulled into the back lot I was beyond happy.
Kari showed. She’s here, in the flesh. She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I had a plan and my plan seemed to be working out thus far. This is my last shot to plead my case. She will hear me and understand. I will explain it in a way that she relates to. I know that after everything is said and done, she still loves me. What we have is special. What we have is real. What we have is forever.
KARI
I had a terrible splitting headache, a real migraine. I felt heavy and my eyelids seemed to be locked shut. I knew that much before I even opened my dried eyes. I had cottonmouth. I was parched beyond belief. With strong thought and intense effort I opened my eyes. My vision was blurry and it took a few seconds for me to find my focus. When I did finally focus, that’s when I tuned in to an object, that’s when I saw Mason. He was sitting in a chair across the room. His body was relaxed and stationary. He was wearing a black sleeveless t-shirt and gray sweat pants.
Maybe this was a dream. If I looked around the room I would be able to tell. I slowly lifted my head. There was an intense ache throbbing at my left temple. What the fuck? Why am I so groggy? I touched the top of my head and placed my fingers in my hair. I felt a lot of bobby pins. The bobby pins had to be the cause of my headache.
I rose to sitting and realized my hair was pinned up in a French roll because today was my wedding day. I was getting married so why was I in this bed? Why was Mason in the room with me? I looked over at the bedside table and noticed the alarm clock read 5:31 p.m. I looked over at Mason and he swiftly moved to standing. My heart picked up a pace that was deadly. The time was off. That can’t be the right time. I was somewhere I didn’t recognize with my ex-lover and it was over two hours from the time I was to get married to Jack. Oh my God! Oh my God! This isn’t a dream. This is real. My wedding was at 3p.m. I missed it. That’s funny. There’s no way I missed my own wedding. There’s no way I left Jack at the altar. Is this a dream?
