by Natalie Grey
The Shrillexian’s scaly skin deflected the blade and they scrabbled, him dropping his gun to grab the knife out of her hands. His eyes were wide with disbelief that this captive—this human—had dared fight him.
He managed to wrench the knife away from her and she punched him as hard as she could, following it up with a move Carter had taught her. She planted her foot on his chest and shoved with all her might. He stumbled and fell, but when he got up it was to draw his other gun.
“The last thing your husband will see—” he began.
The gunshot came from Elisa’s other side and Rald practically exploded. Elisa heard herself scream before she could clap her hand over her mouth. Tabitha landed on the ground next to her, eyes narrowed, a vision in black armor.
“Don’t you dare threaten my friend, you useless ingrate,” Tabitha snarked. “Your mother fucked a lizard to get you. You’re such a pathetic sack of crap that you should be glad to have Elisa stab you to death. In fact—”
“Kemosabe,” a male voice interrupted from above them.
Elisa, who had been listening to Tabitha’s monologue open-mouthed, now looked up at the top of the boulder. An elegant Japanese man nodded gravely to Elisa and glanced at Tabitha.
“I was just getting going,” Tabitha complained. “I had some good stuff coming up, too. There was a bit with a camel.”
“Perhaps you could tell us later,” the man suggested. “In the meantime, the rest of the mercenaries have taken notice.”
Tabitha turned to look. The only sound in the camp was a frantic whispering as the mercenaries closest to the scene passed the news back that Rald was dead and there was another human here.
“Okay.” Tabitha’s voice carried to the whole camp. She lifted one pistol and stared them down. “Who wants to start this—”
“Kemosabe, perhaps we should get your friend out of the line of fire first.”
Tabitha heaved a sigh at the interruption when the man started talking but nodded.
“Right, that makes sense. Elisa, this is Hirotoshi. Hirotoshi, Elisa runs the restaurant that makes those sandwiches I was telling you about. Oh man, I could really go for a sandwich right now. Some spices, some onions—”
Hirotoshi knelt to offer Elisa his hand, and when she took it he pulled her onto the boulder like she weighed nothing.
“I’m just going to let her keep talking,” he told her. “Hold on.”
Elisa wound her arms around his neck and they leapt. Hirotoshi landed about halfway up the slope of a nearby hill. He deposited Elisa behind another boulder and scanned the area.
“You should be safe here. If you hear me call, run toward the mines unless I tell you otherwise. This should all be over soon.”
“I…” Elisa swallowed hard. “Thank you, Hirotoshi.”
He smiled and inclined his head toward her. “You are welcome. Now, I will go assist Kemosabe in ridding the planet of useless ingrates.”
Hirotoshi ran back down the hill and leapt over the boulder to join Tabitha. He moved with such grace that Elisa knew her mouth was hanging open again. Although Elisa could not hear the words, she could interpret the nods they gave one another easily…
Ready?
Ready. Let’s kick some ass.
25
Barnabas heard the pounding feet and alarms going off as he made his way through the airlock tunnel to Fedden’s ship. There were screams and gruff yells. Barnabas asked Shinigami for her report while he waited for the lock to depressurize.
They’ve locked all of the captives in one of the docking bays. They’re probably not hurt, but it’s definitely a “let us go or we kill everyone on the ship” sort of situation.
Yes, I anticipated that. Barnabas sighed. Shall we make a wager? I’m going with, “take one step closer to the bridge and I vent the whole place!”
Shinigami snorted. I’m going with, “Noooo, how did you get onto the bridge? I don’t know how technology works! I thought I was a badass! ARRGHGHHGHGH.”
Word for word, huh?
“I’m a Shrillexian! I make a lot of threats and wave my claws at people! How did you kill me?”
Your impression of him is just uncanny.
I know, right?
By the way, you’ve done an override on the docking bay controls, right?
Working on it. Their ship’s computer runs at about half the speed of a drunk sloth, so getting commands through it isn’t a quick process.
Just tell me when it’s safe to take them on.
Will do. Come on, computer, you can do it. You can do it!
Barnabas grinned as he opened the door and stepped onto Fedden’s ship.
He decided to take care of the mercenaries guarding the prisoners first. It was no use keeping the docking bay closed if the guards just opened fire on everyone.
He came around the corner to find the citizens rebelling. They screamed abuse at the guards, throwing everything they could through the bars that cordoned them off. Barnabas took a moment to enjoy the scene. His threat to Fedden’s crew had clearly had some impact because the guards only ducked. They did not fight back.
Good. After being taken captive and having their houses burned to the ground these people deserved a bit of retribution.
Still, Barnabas wasn’t about to let this go far enough that the guards lost their tempers and did something stupid. He cleared his throat.
The guards whirled and the captives fell silent.
“Hello,” Barnabas told them. “I will be freeing you shortly.”
Aaaaand the controls are locked. No one on that ship can vent any of the airlocks.
Thank you, Shinigami.
I’d say “anytime,” but really, never make me work with a computer like that again. I think I got dumber just from waiting for its dinosaur-ass to respond to every simple request.
Barnabas’ brows rose. Round of chess after this, then?
I hate you.
His lips twitched. To the captives he explained, “I will be making my way through the ship dealing with the members of this crew. There is no way for them to vent the docking bay, so no matter what you hear on the intercoms do not worry. When it is over, I will come back to find you and we will figure out how to repair your colony. You will have the funds from this ship and crew to work with.”
One of the guards who had been gaping at Barnabas like a fish now glared. “Like hell you’re giving them my money!”
“Really?” Barnabas looked at him. “We just destroyed the fleet you brought here to kill us. There were twenty-eight ships, and all but this one are now debris. You have some inkling, I think, of what I am capable of. You are standing in front of people I have promised to free, so you’re clearly aware of my opinions on this matter. And the hill you’re literally willing to die on is that they aren’t going to get any of your money?”
He advanced on the guard now, and his eyes glowed red and teeth lengthened. The parents in the cells pushed their children behind them instinctively, seeing only a monster.
“You should have fallen on your knees,” Barnabas told the guard. “You should have begged me to spare your miserable life. You should have offered to atone for your actions. You should have offered to give anything you had to see these people restored to their homes and lives. And you threatened me instead?”
Barnabas was about to rip the guard’s head off his body when the other one shot him in the back. The bullet slammed into Barnabas’ coat—which was far less simple than it appeared—and bounced onto the floor, smashed out of shape.
Barnabas turned slowly to see the guard stumbling back with naked terror on his face.
“You die first,” Barnabas told him. He was on the guard in three steps to sink his teeth into the guard’s neck. The alien’s throat wasn’t set up quite the same way as a human’s, but that turned out to be inconsequential since Barnabas ripped it open to the spine in one easy motion.
He threw the body away from him and spun back to the first guard, then yanked his gu
n away from him and slammed the butt into the alien’s face. The guard’s body twitched once and went still.
Barnabas took a moment to compose himself.
“I am sorry you had to see that,” he told the captives. “I assure you, you have nothing to fear from me.”
He was gone a moment later, his voice echoing through the halls.
“FEDDEN, I AM COMING FOR YOU.”
Wadd waited until Barnabas had gone down the corridor, then eased a door open and made his way quickly to the airlock.
Fedden was going to die. Wadd knew that.
Everyone knew that.
But Wadd might still make it out of this alive, and he knew that the other ship was valuable. There was an AI on it, and if he could find the AI core he’d be rich.
Wadd hadn’t started out as a mercenary. Yofu mercenaries were rare. Their hands didn’t fit guns very well, and they were generally pretty fragile. Not Luvendi-fragile, but not Brakalons either. So Wadd had started out as an electronics thief, which was something his double thumbs helped with a lot.
Now he served as a sometimes-mercenary, sometimes-technical-support employee on the ship. He liked his captain well enough, just not enough to die for him.
He tossed a small device through the airlock door and waited for a few seconds. Once released, the device would start playing havoc with the surveillance systems of the ship. He’d heard impressive things about this AI, and he wasn’t about to give it a chance to sound the alarm.
Once he was sure it had gone off, he crept through the airlock tunnel and into the Shinigami.
He nearly had heart failure. He would have sworn there was no one in this corridor before, but now there was a woman with black hair and pale skin. And, well, Wadd didn’t know much about humans, but this one looked terrifying—
The image fuzzed and disappeared.
A hologram.
Wadd smiled. The ship was trying to fight back, but he was going to win this one.
Barna—someone—steal—
Barnabas swore. He had just reached the bridge and was beginning the task of hotwiring the doors open. Apparently, having realized that they could not vent the ship, the bridge crew had locked themselves inside and were hoping he would go away.
Idiots.
Shinigami. Shinigami, are you all right?
Gar’s voice spoke in his ear, barely a breath of sound. “Barnabas, there’s someone on the ship. I think they’re trying to steal it. He’s done something to the systems. I’ll take care of it.”
Barnabas considered this. “Are you sure?” he asked finally.
“Take care of Fedden,” Gar assured him quietly. “I’ll handle this.”
Barnabas paused, conflicted. On the one hand, he did not want to pit Gar against a seasoned mercenary, but on the other, Gar had not asked him to come back. Whatever was going on, Gar was prepared to try to handle it.
He would take care of this as quickly as he could and then get back.
A thought came to him and he used the intercom system in the ship to open a line to the bridge.
“Fedden.”
Silence.
“You do not have to speak,” Barnabas told him. “Your silence, your speech, your action, your inaction—they do not change what is coming.”
Still Fedden said nothing. Barnabas heard him shift in his chair, but he did not speak.
“I have spent long years as an Empress’ Ranger,” Barnabas told him, “And always I sought understanding on the part of those who violated her laws. I wanted all, even those beyond redemption, to understand their crimes before they died.”
He thought back over the years. He had few regrets—but some, yes, on this score.
“You have shown me how wrong I was, Fedden. I believed that it was my duty to find an explanation good enough that even those who were beyond atonement could understand their judgment before they passed. It seemed abhorrent to me that someone could be killed without that, but there are those who do not want to understand, Fedden. Those like Jutkelon. Like Lan. Like you.”
The hacking device Barnabas had placed on the door was getting close to finishing its process. He let out a deep breath and keyed a second command to go at the press of a button.
“Those of you who are here, you were given ample chance to choose another path. You chose this one. Whether you understand the judgment or not…”
The doors slid open. Barnabas tossed a spread of grenades into the room and pressed the button on his wrist to close the door once more. A series of hollow booms reverberated through the ship a moment later.
“Does not matter,” he finished quietly.
He went to take care of the last mercenary.
26
“Shall we, Kemosabe?” Hirotoshi nodded at her. The mercenaries were still staring at them dumbstruck, as if they had never seen someone get shot before.
They must be the sort of mercenaries who were used to being called in on civilians—people who would just put their hands up and go along with things, not fight back.
Douche-canoes.
Douche-canoes who were about to learn a lesson in manners.
A very, very brief lesson.
“I’ve already got one in the bank.” Tabitha jerked her head at Rald’s body. “Shouldn’t you be catching up? Because I’ve thought of another forfeit. Whoever loses has to buy sandwiches for everyone else.”
“We have so much money that such a forfeit is meaningless.” Ryu leapt lightly into the air and his sword flashed as he cut down one, two, then three of the mercenaries in front of them. He looked down at Tabitha with a smile. “However, I would like to point out that you are no longer winning.”
“Jackass!” Tabitha pulled out her Jean Dukes Special and took down eight more mercenaries as fast as she could fire. “Now I am, you—”
The mercenaries finally found their balls and rushed at them.
“Finally. Now, remember,” Tabitha called to the Tontos as they all launched into action, “the vengeful ones might be going for Elisa.” She threw up an arm to clothesline one of the mercenaries rushing past her and brought her pistol down on his head with a thick crunch. He lay still. “Yep, there goes another one. Hey, good shot,” she told Akio, who gave a small bow. A second later she caught sight of another trying to sneak around the main group. “YOU! Mercenary bitch! Nuh-uh! God, this is like whack-a-mole. Anyone have a hammer?”
“I am unfamiliar with ‘whack-a-mole.’” Hirotoshi pronounced the term hesitantly. “Does one whack moles with hammers?”
“Yeah!” Tabitha launched herself with a whoop into a group of mercenaries who had decided to mob her.
Their expressions changed from determined to terrified as she bore down on them.
“Oh, did you think that if you attacked together you’d get me? WRONG. I’m not surrounded, you’ve put me in a target-rich environment!” She grabbed two and clunked their heads together like coconuts, then ducked so that a shot meant for her hit one of the mercenaries. “Shooting at me when you’ve got allies in every direction? You’re not very smart, are you, jackass?”
“I object to the use of the term ‘jackass,’” Ryu commented. “You called me a jackass. Surely I do not deserve to share a name with such terrible warriors. They barely deserve to be fought at all.”
Tabitha flashed him a wicked grin. “You can prove you don’t deserve to share the name by winning the wager.”
“And forcing you to drink Pepsi for a year? You have miscalculated, Kemosabe. None of us want to see your mood should that happen.”
“I wouldn’t—ow. Motherfucker! Listen up, monkey-spunk.” Tabitha’s foot lashed out and she caught the mercenary who had shot at her in the head twice. “The sole purpose of your life is now to serve as a warning to your friends.” She grabbed him by the front of his armor and smashed a fist into his bleeding snout before kicking him in the stomach. The mercenary lay on the ground whimpering.
Tabitha kicked him again for good measure. “What, don’t you
like that? Aw, is the little human beating up on you? Is it meeeeean? And what were you about to do when I showed up?”
“He was about to kill defenseless people,” Akio offered dryly as he came to stand beside her. His sword flashed at the corners of her vision as he cleared the area around Tabitha and the mercenaries screamed as they stumbled out of the way.
“Thank you, Akio.” Tabitha turned back to the mercenary. “You were about to kill defenseless people. Me hitting you a few times isn’t mean at all compared to that.”
“They…deserved it…” the mercenary gritted out.
“Oh, bad choice.” Tabitha kicked him in the groin. When he didn’t give quite the response she expected, she looked at Ryu.
“I believe that the testicles are internal for Shrillexian males,” Ryu informed her solemnly.
“Sonofabitch! That’s so unfair! You mean he was going to kill a bunch of civilians and I can’t even give him a swift kick in the balls?”
“Sadly, no.”
“Today’s your lucky day,” Tabitha bitched. “And you don’t even know how lucky you are. Because, oh my God could I make this hurt if I could just get at your balls.”
“They exist,” Ryu pointed out. “They’re just internal.”
“Oh, good point!” Tabitha brightened and shot the mercenary several times. He screamed and went limp. “Not the same effect, but it’ll do.” She looked around at the other mercenaries. “So what’s it going to be, you whale-shit stains? Are you going to run away and make us hunt you down one by one or are you finally going to act like warriors?”
With a roar, they charged as one.
“Finally,” Tabitha exclaimed. “Jesus, didn’t think I’d be giving a pep talk to mercenaries today.”
“I thought it was very inspiring,” Akio told her.
“They will die with…” Hirotoshi grimaced as he cut down a couple of the mercenaries. “I cannot even joke about it, Kemosabe. They have no honor whatsoever.”
