His beast walked toward me and then stopped so close that its fur brushed me. Its lips curled back and it growled, its fangs nearly nipping at my neck, as if intentionally trying to cow me.
I wasn’t nervous. Maybe that meant I was insane, but I knew this beast. I’d never seen him in this shape, but I knew him. He wouldn’t hurt me. He’d had too many chances to do it already, and plenty of rage to fuel it.
I met his red eyes without fear but loaded down with remorse.
“I’m sorry.” I’d royally screwed up and I knew it.
It was hard to tell what he was thinking, but at least he stopped growling. Then he was shifting in front of me. He was the man again, completely naked.
I’d seen Baryn naked on more than one occasion. Callon and him didn’t even look to be of the same species. Baryn had been all soft roundness, whereas Callon was nothing but sculpted muscles everywhere the eye could see.
I jerked my gaze back to his face before I burned into ashes at being obvious. If he’d noticed my perusal, it didn’t seem to matter. All I saw was the intense red of the beast.
“What were you doing?”
I really had no desire to get into the weeds with details. It was bad enough I knew my plan. Considering what I now realized, it might be even dumber and more desperate than initially thought.
Meanwhile, Callon was still standing there, very naked, and with heat pouring off him. Or maybe magic? I didn’t know which, but it wasn’t that warm out, and I was sweating.
“I made a mistake,” I blurted out, hoping he’d be gracious and let it go at that. After I blew up his plan, which might’ve actually existed.
Callon’s eyes shifted to my hand with the knife. His hand went over mine, grasping both and then pulling upward.
“Did you think you were going to kill them all?” he asked, trying to narrow down what ludicrous idea I’d had. He stared, trying to read me. “No. This was hasty and stupid, but not that stupid.”
He wasn’t going to let this go. I was better off getting it out and moving forward than the guessing game. “I was going to kill one.”
“Why?”
“Because I thought it would sour the deal and you wouldn’t be able to hand me over.”
His eyes flashed heat. “I told you. I wasn’t going to hand you over.”
He grabbed the knife from my hand and threw it onto the ground so hard it bounced.
“What else could I do?” I turned and took a step away. I was yanked back by a hand on my arm.
“Believe me when I said I wasn’t handing you over? What about that?”
I shoved at his chest. “You made me sit there like a dog on a leash. How the hell could I?”
“I made you put on an act so they’d believe me and I could buy time to save your ass.”
Just when I thought I couldn’t feel stupider.
I looked down. That wasn’t a good idea, so I stared off over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” This was the most “I’m sorrys” I’d ever said in my life, and I still wasn’t sure it was enough. I didn’t know what the issue was, but I was either cursing him, screwing him over, or apologizing.
“Why?” he demanded.
I shook my head. I had no answer for him. I didn’t know myself.
“It’s not like I sit around and think, hmmm, wonder how I can piss off Callon today. It just—happens. That’s why I need to be alone. I can’t be around people.” Well, that and I hated most people. Maybe there were a few more I liked than before, but still. And the way I was acting with him proved I needed to be alone.
“You fucked that up pretty well, now, didn’t you? You force yourself into my life so that, short of killing you, I can’t get away from you, and then tell me how you can’t wait to be alone. You’re a real blessing there, Teddy.” Callon ran both hands through his black hair. “I can’t decide whether I want to beat you or protect you.”
“That’s really not so bad when you think about it. Everyone else just wanted to beat me.” I gave a halfhearted laugh, hoping my joke would break the tension.
It didn’t. His eyes snapped back to mine, burning hotter than ever. His hands gripped my shoulders, dragging me upward and against his naked form, and his mouth covered mine.
For as much as I’d witnessed sex, it was the first time I’d ever been kissed, or held by a man like this.
Or wanted either of those things.
I didn’t move at first. Didn’t fight him or make a sound, too stunned and overwhelmed by the feel of him against me. The heat of his body soaked into mine and he felt like he burned at a thousand degrees. He reached up, fisting a hank of my hair and tilting my head to the side.
My spine bowed toward him, like it had when I’d slept beside him, my body seeming to crave the contact. His tongue ran over mine, and I found myself mimicking him.
I’d thought I’d hate this. How many women had I seen silently cry as Baryn or Turrock, sometimes both, took them?
I didn’t hate it. Not at all. In fact, I felt like I was being swept away. I wasn’t in the woods anymore, only in his arms. And what was that delicious feeling building? No one had ever said anything about that. I pressed my hips against his. His cock was hard and right at the spot I craved friction.
This was what happened to the girls, the ones who followed men around. I’d never understood it until now.
This was something dangerous indeed. This was way worse than a beating because this could take me down. Make me weak when I couldn’t afford it.
I stiffened in his hold.
He inched back.
Neither of us seemed to know what had just happened.
He took a step away, his hands leaving me, the cold settling in instantly.
“Go back to the camp.”
For once, I didn’t argue.
Tuesday was on me the second I walked back.
“Where did you go? Koz went to look for you, but then came right back and said it was fine and you were with Callon.”
Koz was by the fire and gave me a halfhearted nod that reeked of someone who’d seen a little more than they should’ve.
“When did he get back?” I asked Tuesday, already having a solid guess.
“Couple minutes before you.” She stepped closer. “You’re blushing!”
“Shut up!” I said.
“You’re telling me what happened,” she said with just as much determination.
“Running down to the stream,” I called out. Hess and Zink still didn’t look up. They either didn’t know something had gone down or they didn’t care. Koz nodded, giving us a wave.
I gave Tuesday the general outline but spared her the details of the fight with the Magician’s men. She’d probably be as annoyed as Callon had been. Then I was spilling the details about kissing Callon.
When I finally stopped, I thought she was going to climb up on top of her imaginary unicorn and preach to me about how stupid my plan had been.
“Did you like it?” she asked, only caring about the kiss.
I shrugged, searching for words in a panicked brain that was malfunctioning. It really didn’t matter if I’d liked it. Getting involved with Callon might be the worst idea possible. I was using him for the year and then moving on.
“Oh, you liked it,” she said, and then laughed. And continued to laugh.
I shushed her when she got so loud that I was sure the guys could hear. Then I shoved her shoulder to get her attention. “Why is this funny?”
“Just is,” she said, winded from all the laughing she’d done.
“There was something else. When I was out there, I thought I heard chiming in the air.”
“Your ears were probably ringing from your blood pressure.”
“I don’t think so. It was chimes.”
“Maybe someone hung some in the area. Teddy, we’ve got bigger problems.”
She was right. We really did.
“Come on. Let’s get back to camp.” I turned and Callon appeared.
We both froze, and I didn’t hear a whisper of laughter.
His eyes were narrowed on me. I didn’t think he was here to rinse his hands. There was still a haze of red warming the coolness.
“We’re breaking camp.”
“Now?” Tuesday asked.
I didn’t answer for him, but I knew he meant now. I might not have done enough damage to break the truce, but Callon had done plenty. How many bodies had he left bloody in the woods for me this time? How many more were to come?
Callon’s eyes never left mine as he answered Tuesday. “Yes.”
Tuesday brushed past us as Callon’s eyes ran the length of me, red blazing stronger when they landed on my wrists.
I glanced down, seeing the bruises ringing them, and crossed my arms, tucking them in.
His gaze shot back to my face. “Let’s go.”
I walked forward, eager to break the swell of heat and energy that seemed to still be sizzling between us.
21
“Clarence’s isn’t too far from here. We’ll stay there tonight,” Callon said as we set out again after barely a break.
After I’d listened to Callon filling in Zink and Hess, it seemed even more important that we got moving. The truce was over, and no one was sure how many people the Magician had in the area.
“What’s Clarence’s?” Tuesday asked.
Tuesday’s quickness to question was one of the things I loved most about her. I could stroll along as if I hadn’t been wondering and still get my questions answered.
“It’s a sleep and eat. A lot of traders travel back and forth along this trail,” Koz explained.
I hope she asked how far away next. Fatigue had already set in. The tussle with the Magician’s men had been short, but it sure had sucked the life out of me.
Tuesday turned to Koz, who was walking next to her. “How far away is it?”
Boom. There it was.
“A few miles.” Koz reached and rested a hand on her shoulder.
A few miles? Ugh.
We trudged along. Zink and Hess walked ahead, leading the way with Tuesday and Koz behind them. Then there was me and Callon. We were the only two in single file.
I didn’t know what felt heavier, my legs from too much use or my shoulders from the guilt heaped high. I’d trapped him. Then I’d compounded the problem by not trusting him. As to the kiss, I wouldn’t even think of that right now. My plate was already full.
It wasn’t all my fault. How was I supposed to know he wasn’t a liar when everyone else was? When you find a philosophy in life that seems to be working, you can’t throw it away because your friend who believes in white knights and happily-ever-after says she’s got a good feeling.
Still, there were some rough waters churning between us at the moment, and we had a long way to go. It was not going to be an easy ride.
Especially since I was still holding out. It was time to make a choice. Either come clean or risk burning any chance of a civil relationship with the one person I was stuck with to the ground.
It was also the fair thing to do. First off, he hadn’t beaten me. That was pretty big, but I tried not to put too much weight on that since, according to Tuesday, not all men beat women. It was the second thing that had me about to spill my guts. He’d kept me from handing myself over to the Magician, knowing the Magician could kill them all in the end.
Because of that, he deserved the full truth, right? As best as I had it to give.
I stopped and turned around.
“Can I get a minute alone to talk?” Oh, shit. He better not think I meant about the kiss. We were not talking about that. “It’s about the witch and what happened.” I spat it out so quickly that my tongue nearly sprained itself.
The rest of the group stalled out.
I was on the verge of repeating the “alone,” in case he’d missed that part.
He looked over my head. “We’ll catch up.”
The group moved away, slowly. I didn’t blame them for wanting to hear. This was going to be a doozy.
He walked over and leaned against the nearby tree. Sometimes when I watched the grace of his movements, in even the simplest gestures, it became impossible to believe I hadn’t seen the beast in him from the very first second. It was in every line of his body, an agility no normal man had.
“What’s going on?” His eyebrows rose.
I glanced around. “Are they far enough?” I pointed to my ears, knowing they could hear everything. Like, everything.
“It’s clear.”
I took a couple of steps around as he leaned, watching me.
“You did me a solid, so I think it’s only fair to tell you something.” That was a bit of bullshit. I totally owed him. If he asked me to pluck out my eyes and give them to him, I’d have to consider it for a few seconds at least. That was how large my debt was.
“There was something with the witch I didn’t mention.” I hadn’t even told Tuesday this part. It had been too unnerving to discuss, but I had this gnawing ache in my gut that it tied into why the Magician wanted me.
Callon didn’t say anything. Just waited. People with that kind of patience always freaked me out. It was unnatural.
“I’m listening,” he said, as if he’d sensed I needed something from him.
Shit. Now it was time to tell him, and this was weird shit I was delving into. This was worse than telling him I was Reaper Kissed. Way worse. At least back then, I’d been egged on by the possibility of scaring him, which failed pathetically. This kind of information was, well, really fucking bad, and there wasn’t any possible upside.
Just spit it out already. “I think I can transfer life from one person to another.”
His brows dropped and he angled his head slightly, as if he, of all people, didn’t trust his ears. It took him some more seconds, grueling seconds filled with doubt and dismay for me, before he spoke.
“What are you talking about, exactly? Spell it out for me.” The patience dwindled as the ramifications registered.
I was toying with the hem of my shirt before I dropped my hands. I’d forgotten I wasn’t a fidgeter for a second. “I can’t say for sure. I was only following the witch’s instructions, but I held on to two people. The one who was healthy died. The sick one, well, the death vision I’d had sort of vanished, and he was looking a lot better by the time I left.
“I’m pretty sure she had me drain the life out her and pump it into her kid. I think this Magician person must know. Otherwise, why stalk me? Yes, I know that I can tell you when most people are going to die, but is it really that important to go to these lengths?”
He was still relaxed against the tree, but his eyes narrowed as he logged all the new information. He was silent for a good five minutes, not looking at me or saying anything.
I knew he was thinking it over, but he’d been a pretty decisive person in the past. How long did he really need? I couldn’t take the calm.
The calmness had to end.
“Well? What do you think? Is this as bad as I think it is?”
He brought a hand up to rub his stubbled jaw. “I’m not sure if it’s bad, but there are some problems.”
“That’s what I was afraid of.” I shouldn’t have asked. If I’d given him a few more minutes, maybe he would’ve thought it through some more and decided it wasn’t bad.
He looked at me, his head angled. “You do you realize what this means, right?”
“That I could conceivably give someone immortality? Yeah, it occurred to me.” I might not fidget, but I could cringe like a motherfucker.
He nodded, finally pushed off the tree, and took a few steps. His shoulders might’ve been a little tense, but all in all, he’d taken it much better than I had. The day I’d stepped out of that tent, left that woman I’d literally transferred life from, I’d barely been able to walk.
Callon was back to scratching his jaw. “When you did it, did you feel drained? Depleted in any way?”
“No, I don’t think so.�
� I’d been shaky afterward, but it had been all nerves.
His jaw shifted and his eyes hardened. “What if you could do this to an army? Keep fixing them with the lives of their enemy? An army that wouldn’t die?”
I’d thought he was talking to himself, but then he turned every ounce of attention on me.
“Do you remember how to do it?”
I shook my head a little too vigorously. “She rattled off all sorts of stuff to repeat. I didn’t realize what we were doing until it was done. And it was long, really long, and in a language I didn’t understand. I’d never be able to do it again.” I wasn’t going to try, either. This was exactly why I kept secrets. Right here, that look in his eyes. I wasn’t going to be a weapon for anyone. He could have my eyes, but not this.
“You can’t walk away from something like this.” He took a step toward me, the predator sensing his prey was about to take flight.
“Yes, I can.” Why had I told him? Why did I think I owed him the truth? I let guilt get to me for a few minutes, and now look at the damage.
“If the Magician knows you can do this, or even suspects, he’ll never stop coming for you. You can’t tell me this and expect me not to use it. You want to repay your debt? That’s the price.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Teddy, in this world, you either learn to wield the magic you are born with or someone will wield it for you.”
He left off the part where he told me I should already know this. I’d been letting someone use my magic for me for eighteen years.
The thing he wasn’t understanding was that I wouldn’t be trading keepers. He wouldn’t be wielding it for me either.
22
Clarence’s was larger than the last eat and sleep, but what really got my attention were the smells wafting over from the dining area nearby. My taste buds were screaming in pain, it smelled so good. I stood beside Callon, but the rest of the group gravitated in that direction, Tuesday looking like a bloodhound with her nose raised.
“That’ll be three rooms. We have a tub available if the lass wants to use it? Only five coin more,” the innkeeper said to Callon. Clarence, I assumed, was pock-faced, with beady eyes that kept darting over to me.
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